 konnichiwa~
Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/
find me:
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What is love?
written on Monday, January 26, 2015 @ 12:44 AM ✈
Things happened... well I guess not really haha just that I feel like I should write this down & get it outta my head.
Junior & Aliza are back together.
I don't really know what to think about that. I mean, I'm not like completely heartbroken or anything. I guess it "hurts" a little? But at the same time, not really. I never thought there could be a chance anyway; I'm just glad that we could be friends. I wouldn't even mind if he spent "more time" with me bc he needed someone; I'm just glad I could be of help, of some kind of support.
I mean, I ship them. So there's this weird conflict. Do I want them together? Or would I rather them stay apart? And this is where the guilt takes place...
I really didn't think too much when I noticed signs of them being back together. Before they dated, he was on my list of "cute guys" right? After they dated, I didn't think of anything more. Then after that day at the mall, after they had broken up, I started to have a crush on him. And I feel it was nothing more than a crush, that I had let myself to freely thinking about this crush now that there was no "restrictions" aka his gf.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've always had a habit of having some kind of crush to daydream about, like with Javi back in 5th-8th grade. It keeps me occupied. So it might feel weird now to let go of this habit now.
It was nice while it lasted. Now I just need to slowly let it go. It may take a few days, but I should be free then. (Which reminds me, I should design my phoenix now. I feel that it fits me: I could be reborn after every crush :') )
It's not like I'm crying, more like every time I think about them, I "force" myself to hurt a little, to ache a little... bc I want that "drama" feeling, those anime moments. And then I tell myself, why are you so stupid? If you don't hurt, don't force yourself. But then I'm lost: what do I really feel?
What is love?
I feel better now ^^ letting it all go~
Did I mention that Alena got jealous over me & Orion watching a vid on his iPhone... for a MESA project? It was pretty scary. Which is why I would never be a 3rd person in a relationship; I would never want to be responsible & feel all the guilt for ruining a perfectly good relatonship :p
Just saying that was my 1st experience, that anyone, would get jealous over me & some guy.
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What is love?
written on Monday, January 26, 2015 @ 12:44 AM ✈
Things happened... well I guess not really haha just that I feel like I should write this down & get it outta my head.
Junior & Aliza are back together.
I don't really know what to think about that. I mean, I'm not like completely heartbroken or anything. I guess it "hurts" a little? But at the same time, not really. I never thought there could be a chance anyway; I'm just glad that we could be friends. I wouldn't even mind if he spent "more time" with me bc he needed someone; I'm just glad I could be of help, of some kind of support.
I mean, I ship them. So there's this weird conflict. Do I want them together? Or would I rather them stay apart? And this is where the guilt takes place...
I really didn't think too much when I noticed signs of them being back together. Before they dated, he was on my list of "cute guys" right? After they dated, I didn't think of anything more. Then after that day at the mall, after they had broken up, I started to have a crush on him. And I feel it was nothing more than a crush, that I had let myself to freely thinking about this crush now that there was no "restrictions" aka his gf.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've always had a habit of having some kind of crush to daydream about, like with Javi back in 5th-8th grade. It keeps me occupied. So it might feel weird now to let go of this habit now.
It was nice while it lasted. Now I just need to slowly let it go. It may take a few days, but I should be free then. (Which reminds me, I should design my phoenix now. I feel that it fits me: I could be reborn after every crush :') )
It's not like I'm crying, more like every time I think about them, I "force" myself to hurt a little, to ache a little... bc I want that "drama" feeling, those anime moments. And then I tell myself, why are you so stupid? If you don't hurt, don't force yourself. But then I'm lost: what do I really feel?
What is love?
I feel better now ^^ letting it all go~
Did I mention that Alena got jealous over me & Orion watching a vid on his iPhone... for a MESA project? It was pretty scary. Which is why I would never be a 3rd person in a relationship; I would never want to be responsible & feel all the guilt for ruining a perfectly good relatonship :p
Just saying that was my 1st experience, that anyone, would get jealous over me & some guy.
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^
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: afeeqah azhar, 19 march, malaysian .
: hidenobu suzuki, + follow