HOME | ABOUT | ARCHIVE

Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/

store instagram | shop
ART: dA | tumblr | twitter | instagram

Well, okay. So the moths haven't avenged LOL It's really just hives (urticaria) that I got.

This is ridiculous. How am I supposed to manage these red bumps? Usually appearing for no reason... fading in less than a day... appearing where it wasn't minutes before. These things fade with no need for medication (usually within a few weeks) so there's really no medication for them. Also, you can't pinpoint exactly why hives break out. A lot of times it will just appear. Other times; well, there are a few factors depending on the type of hives. Acute urticaria lasts for less than six weeks and can be caused by chemical or allergic reaction by certain foods & medications, and/or sunlight exposure. While I don't think it was any foods I ate, I just recently had medications. Apparently, a drug that can cause hives include painkillers such as codeine. Specifically, the painkiller I had for my wisdom teeth extraction had codeine (I believe). There's also physical urticaria, which is direct physical stimulation of the skin. Heat, sun exposure, sweating, and exercise included. I list those because I got this the day after we went out to water front. (Also, that night, me & Jo exercised the hell out of the dances & I was sweating a lot. Not to mention, it was pretty hot in the house & I was waging war with a vacuum cleaner.) However, physical urticaria occurs right where the skin is affected, yet mine is all over the body.
As you can see, hard to pinpoint.

Hives are a response to histamine, chemical released from your blood vessels. And all those factors I mentioned will cause histamine release.

There's really no treatment so I have to wait it out. I hate thissss.

*info gathered at webmd.com

Forreals there's a ridiculous amount of these lil' moths flying in the back room. The other day I waged war on the moths & was vacuuming them up. I woke up to find myself full of red splotches? While the red areas on my stomach had receded, leaving only red spots that itch a lil', my arms have really itchy red spots. The kind that if you scratch it, it will spread into a bigger spot. I guess they avenged their fallen comrades last night... -.-
Only to find out a lot more has come back, but the vacuum cleaner broke so I couldn't wage the 2nd war. Jo says it might just be our bed... I dunno.

The other day Victor drove me & Jo to the waterfront to catch Pokémon. It was super hot. It was really awkward too... Jessie, Bea, & Kathy met with us. I felt kinda bad that I talked more with them than Victor and Rayven, but he knows how I am. We also saw Orion and Kong! I'm not as shy around Orion I guess? Aigoo~ we went to say hi to Kong, but it was awk... I didn't think it would be >x< Jo & Kathy went to get Starbucks~ Afterward it started to cool down and a lot more people were coming to the waterfront. He took us home bc I had told him I needed to be home before 8.

Omg. Someone needed to save me. Out of the blue the other night, Armand decides to message me on IG and MAN was it awkward. He was all like "we should all hang out one day" (meaning w/ Bea & other old friends, as he puts it). He wanted to "reconnect with old friends" but bruh... it's been like 5 years? And I've never talked to you... and then today the convo took a weird turn. I really didn't want to be rude but I didn't know what to say...? I didn't want to meet up 'cause bruh, that's awk. This made me scared to go on my IG ToT All bc I posted that pic...
Well, that pic on FB also got Lee commenting LOL I didn't think he would? Also, I kept telling myself I need to hit him up, but I can't bring myself to text him >///< When he commented, it sounded like another "time-to-hang-out" time. It kinda relieved me from my IG anxiety. Then I started thinking... I would probably have wanted to rant to him, kind of thing. If we were closer.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say lol On his comment, I still can't get over how he 'lols' so easily now. Forreal... he never really 'lol'ed when we first messaged xD It sure took a while...
~
Whee! Going to SJ w/ Steph tomorrow (today)~ I should really sleep or else I won't be up LOL I was gonna watch a short BL I found on YT this morning, only to find out it got taken down. And I didn't even get the name down ToT all I know is that it's Chinese... and that the whole movie is about this dude who dreams about his love relationship with his friend(?) but the end of the movie is that, that friend of his goes out with a girl. Wtfudgeeee it was only 30min or sooo. I hope whoever uploaded it re-ups it. Hmph.

Oops just finished Tokyo Ghoul. Wow. That 1st season ending though. Can't believe it's almost 4am *insert laughing crying emoji* Finishing that anime was pretty fast, or so it seems. Why do some anime feel like they take longer? lol I don't know why I'm still sweating. Why is it so hotttt > >
I really love Uta-san's voice~ Seiyuu being Takahiro Sakurai~ he voiced a lot of the animes on my to-watch list xD and a few BL animes too~ LOL

I used a blackhead strip on my chin... and now there are visible blackheads. How annoying.

I finished saving a lot of Park Jin photos.... crazy me. Now I can do ASTRO's and U10's, though I feel like I'll be lazy. I need to finish the bows tomorrow too, hope it doesn't take long. I also drove Jo to the library. After the library, we walked to the waterfront. There were so many trainers there LOL there was a cute Asian guy! He was "going on his journey" alone xD such a quiet dude...?

So last night I decided to take a look at my stitches, and they weren't as scary as I thought. They were pretty small, just a knot. I was rinsing with saltwater when I felt the left stitches come out. One side of it had come out and the other was still inside the gums. At first I was worried bc I thought it was supposed to "dissolve" so I hurriedly looked it up. Apparently, dissolvable stitches mean it will dissolve or just come out. However, I also read some other stuff which kinda made me nervous. Like how stitches usually last from a week to months, but mine came out less than a week. But if it comes out, it just means my gums are healing well. I tried to pull it out, but it was so far back and I was holding my phone for flashlight too. My heart was racing. So many things ran through my head, going wrong. When I finally pulled it out--I didn't feel anything--but I felt so relieved. But the pressure of having to enduring that "fright" suddenly let itself go. I started to feel my hands "pulse" (hard to explain) and feel heavy, my head started to feel heavy, my ears started to ring, and I was about to hyperventilate. I still had to brush my teeth so I had to endure it. I tried to hurriedly brush my teeth so I can get to bed. While brushing my teeth, my eyes started to cloud over. More like that moment when you get dizzy and see stars, except I didn't see stars. Everything had a slightly darker tint? but I could still see. I guess it feels the same way when I felt like I was gonna faint after taking two shots, one on each arm, except I think that was bc I was trying to brave the shots so much that I held in my breath or maybe it was the pressure. I don't even know anymore. Either way, after I finished my heavy body walked out to get a drink a water, and I just got in bed. Still breathing a bit too much, and slightly shaking(?), I had to do deep breathing to calm myself down. I was really pale after pulling out the stitch. And that's the first time I even think I look pale as a ghost.
I'm fine now, but the socket hasn't closed yet. There's still an ugly hole so I have to be careful food doesn't accumulate in there, so I'ma eat even less and drink more water 'til it's closed I guess. I've dropped so much weight... but I haven't exercised really. My right side still a little sore and tight.

Yesterday I watched Gymnasium Baby. Uhm, it reminded me of Free! and so you can imagine there wasn't much but a kiss. Still liked it, but it was really meh. lol

Well, I woke up early this morning but went back to sleep, so really, I woke up around 11. My jaw was sore but didn't think I really needed to eat my painkillers. Also, mom ate my congee, so there was nothing for me to eat. Ended up taking Jim's advice and ate soggy cereal LOL but mom woke up & made me fresh congee~ not duck congee yay~ Eventually I took a painkiller & felt pretty sleepy. So I finished my small bowl of congee and took a nap on the couch. Didn't feel like I slept, but I did have a really annoying dream. I was super angry in it o.o so weird.

Downloaded "To Be Continued" and "Click Your Heart." Tried to save some ASTRO pics, but I got lazy. Maybe I shouldn't. Anyway, I watched Animation Runner Kuromi & aww, it was a sort of motivation, not a lot, but it was good enough. The ending song is really slow & sounds sad but it's good~

Oh my gahhh, I am so hungry, but all I get to eat is congee > > & Jell-O/grass jelly... while Jo gets to eat char siu. Ugh, can't wait to go out to eat crepes or something...

Well, apparently I only have 3 wisdom teeth. I don't know why Dr. Huang said I had 4 hmph. Since the top one hasn't grown out yet, I only pulled the bottom 2. The right side was the one growing crooked so it was harder to take out. It was a lot of pushing and pulling. I wasn't put to sleep. Right now my right side of my jaw is sore. I got dissolvable stitches but I don't know if it's gone yet. I can't (at least, won't) open my mouth wide enough to see. I was starving yesterday since I didn't eat when I went to get it pulled and couldn't eat afterward. I have painkillers and antibiotics to eat bleh. So I went with 24hrs without food. I drank water by dripping it from a straw, since I can't sip in case the suction pulls on my stitches. After I took my painkiller, I went to sleep around 8, but woke up an hr after. Went back to sleep again & kept waking up randomly? I think it was the heat. Went to sleep after another painkiller at 1am I think and woke up around 7/7:30am. Mom reheated congee for me. A big bowl but I couldn't even finish it or even eat half of it. I'm craving for something sweet so I had Jen buy me Jell-O LOL. Swallowing hurts, like when you have a sore throat. I didn't even talk much. My mouth still swollen a bit. I kinda slept a lot? Well, only after I ate the painkiller. I didn't fall into REM sleep though. My body felt heavy after the painkiller, when I was moving during my nap.

Anywho, Jen just went back to SF. I can't really do much... and haven't the energy to do anything. And I can't stop thinking about Uncontrolled Love, so I'ma rewatch it lol while drinking some congee. I have to rinse my mouth with saltwater too; sometimes I forget.

EDIT: Noticed things I didn't notice the first time I watched UL lol. I watched Boys Love and I hate the ending x'D If y'alls cringe at naked bodies, I don't recommend y'all to watch it. There's this really sweet part, when he holds his hand and watches him sleep after his emotional breakdown. I also just nibbled French fries from BK, the soft ones. Only chewed with my middle teeth and swallowed. These painkillers are strong; takes effect pretty fast. I found this series called Takumi-Kun Series on KissAsian. I don't know why they weren't put in a series set; instead it's split into different movies. I think I'ma watch one more before I shower. ((Psst, Jo won't let me keke)) She's cutting pork into really tiny pieces lol

EDIT2: Just finished Soshite, Harukaze ni Sasayaite & it was pretty sweet~ Man, after watching that I want to play my violin again... ((the "famous violinist" reminds me of someone & is kinda cute keke)) There's a BL2~ wonder if the movies connect though... welp. My jaw/tongue is starting to hurt. Better shower! :D

Another BL run today since it was so peaceful at home lol Let's see what I finished today...
It looks like I only finished Junjou Pure Heart. Lol It was pretty cute but Kurata kinda annoyed me sometimes... Just finished Uncontrolled Love but can you believe it? I have to wait for Season 2 in Aug. ugh! and that's where all the cute parts areeeee! There's already released BTS for that; watched a bit before realizing. I ain't watching that yet! And I watched halfway through their really cute interview xD Wow... the actors and their personalities were opposite of their characters' LOL
They both sing too! Man, but stuff about them is so hard to look up....

Well, being on YT you look at all the recommendations. Woops, my list of movies to watch just got longer >x<

Anyway, gotta sleep bc tomorrow... gotta pull my wisdom teeth out ToT

Here's a little secret... I'm a ふじょし.
Hey, you might know it already xD I'm not into the hardcore BL, just the soft/innocent and pure ones keke but anyway, I just did a J-drama movie run (I realize I'm not really into drama. And the irony? It's because once it's over, it's over xD movies are just over faster LOL)

While looking for something short to watch, I happened upon 愛の言霊 (Can you tell I'm having fun with my Jap. input typing? lol) Ai no kotodama. I found the part 2, but there's actually a 1st version. So I went and watched that. It wasn't much, but wow. Their relationship was just soooo cute. Typical manga style, eh? (I mean, it is an adaptation xD) But I couldn't help squealing. I watched it on YT so expect recommendations lol and I found 禁断の恋 Kindan no koi. Wow... it was... weird lol such a twisted ending... besides that, the relationship was cute when they cleared up the misunderstandings~ Still, the movie made me cringe a few times. Reading the YT comments was funny.
Okay, y'all know I love love~ kisses are the cutest (okay not even me but Jo went and found a cute gay asian couple kiss compilation on YT LOL and I'm sorry but alotofthemweresupercute and then I came upon a compilation for cute pocky kisses and sorrythatwassupercutetoo *sparkly eyes*)

Desperately looking for English sub for Kimi no ita natsu zenhen > < This is probably really bad for me to watch on YT... bc I keep looking for more movies to watch! Sucks that a lot aren't on KissAsian. And of course not on Viki or DramaFever... Oh save me! I need to slow down on these videos xD
I actually have a lot of stuff to watch, but that doesn't seem like it'll happen lol I should though...

I'm a pretty random person lol. I was just reading through some old comments on this blog and I don't even remember half the things I wrote! ((and realized sometimes I didn't reply to the comments haha or maybe I did, on their blog xD)) but anyway, yesterday we tried to cook a Japanese styled omelette. It didn't go too well but it looked decent! At least I didn't burn down the kitchen lols. I want to make stuff now... how about desserts? keke
I had this dream today.. and it was weird because Robin was in it? or not...

I went to sleep "early" last night. I woke up when Jo climbed over me, and I believe it was like 5am? Well, that's what it seemed like. And when I opened my eyes, it felt like I hadn't slept. Then I woke up a few more times because we had early alarms. Eventually woke up around 10:30/11. I just caught up with ASC right now. ASTRO is so precious.

So many things I planned to do this summer... but only like 1/5 actually went through? Also I think it's because I have to do Coach's stuff... and when I'm delaying that, I'm sacrificing everything else I want to do haha... ha... Welp. Should really get goin'.
Did I mention my violin is still in tune? keke

Ugh I am so annoyed right now because I can't do one freakin' simple hairstyle. I'm already annoyed about not being able to braid my own hair. I was trying to do this hairstyle; it's just twisting! but NOO my stupid hair won't stop tangling itself. So I'm so annoyed right now and I pretty much took it out on my hair by combing through it with my hand so roughly that I'm pulling hair out. ((I don't know why but I've been kinda losing more hair than usual lately? Like when I'm showering...)) Anyway, that's not even the only problem. Why won't my hair freakin' grow already. and why the heck is it always so freakin' oily and smelly. UGH. So pissed right now... > >

On a side note, I finally keychain-ed my DOB "set" lols Used Mod Podge for the first time. It SMELLS. So I put like 2 layers of MP and then sprayed with fixative again. Hopefully the colors don't scratch off. I should use resin instead of MP. Resin is so much prettier~ and will definitely protect the charms. Too bad it's pretty $$, but I heard there's a 5g at Daiso. Just not at my Daiso... hopefully at the one in SF. The whole point of me making that DOB charm was because, yes 1. I really love Taeyeongie and DOB lol but 2. because I want to remind myself to do my best (aka, their name Do One's Best) and that they've done it; they've worked hard busking and finally get to debut. So that whatever I want to accomplish, I just need to do my best and eventually I'll make it.

Lately me and Jo have been dancing some hard songs so that the next day we are really tired/sore. Actually, it's usually just me because Jo doesn't even go all out. Tried working out but that didn't work. Plus waking up early to go to the park to exercise... well, when we get there we do some weak workouts so that didn't help. Pretty disappointed because I'm not losing weight or my belly fat. ((Well, WiiFit says I am. Just little by little. But I think I gained again :p )) Speaking of dancing, worries? Not really. Just been thinking about POLARIS. How can we hold this group up? We've all grown up and are hitting into reality. There's no time for petty things like doing covers... It's hard to meet up as is. Or am I the one overestimating the group? So I'm just wondering... will we never do any more covers but just to have a name to hold?
--
And a rant about the world. Which all started because of the recent news around the world, the drama in the K-world, and GOT7's controversy. Also, you might get angry from the following rant, and may even disagree with me. Feel free to skip this section :) 
((This applies to all fandoms and any other connections you can make, such as with friends etc.))
It's scary how one can claim to be a so-called fan, but the moment they're in some trouble, they're the first to turn their backs on them. How can one consider themselves a true fan if their first response would be to jump out of the fandom? So let's say your idol did something terribly wrong; wouldn't a true fan feel really saddened? Or maybe even anger, within themselves for liking someone who would do something wrong. And this anger is usually thrown back at the idol as hatred, but I guess it's case-by-case. Is it me or some fans, if not many, are still so delusional that their biases/idols are "perfect"? The question is: what human in this world is 10-10 perfect? Yes, let's not forget these celebrities are human, just like you and me. So what if Yoochun goes to an adult café? Is he not human? Is he not an adult? Sure, maybe he should've been more careful and maybe he should've made the choice of not doing such things because of his status as a public figure, but these humanly things he does should not be something to be criticized so harshly, to that degree at least. Would you stop being friends with someone because you found out they go to some kind of adult café? Why is it that people think they have the right to criticize the things celebrities do? You sit behind a screen and hide in a room for goodness' sake. And if he did do something so criminally wrong, well, we don't have the right to judge; we'll let the Court decide that and his punishment. But before he's even confirmed guilty, what right do you have to say he is? It's like saying he is because he's accused as such, whether he's really done it or not. Where's the justice in that? I won't even go into most of what I was thinking while reading about GOT7's drama. But the thing is, death threats? Okay, death threats in general. Why? What right do you, behind a screen who don't even know the supposed person personally, have to tell someone to die or kill themselves? First of all, life shouldn't be treated so lightly. Once a life's gone, you can't bring it back. And people suiciding isn't a first where, whoever that cyber bully was, came out to apologize. It's just always too late. What good is it that you've apologized? We've lost a life; someone's lost a friend, a daughter/brother, a lover, a family member. You can't replace that for them. Never. Yet one can easily go on the internet to tell someone to die. Oh it's not hard to die, I mean you can try since you encourage it oh so often, so please watch your words carefully. This all comes down to my opinion on: what makes fans think they have all the right in the world to pretty much control what their favorite celebrities can do? Okay, maybe you wouldn't like seeing a public figure smoking/drinking or with tattoos, but those are all something a regular person would do. Is there a rule that says they have to give all that up if they want to become an idol? Who knows. I don't know.
Then there's the world. Ah, yes. Where's the little bit of humanity and hope left in these beings we call, human? The shootings were uncalled for. Just all of a sudden. Yes, every single person is entitled to their own opinion. And one who values their own opinion should understand the principle of valuing others' opinions. Why must we force one's own values on others? Then where would the idea that every SINGLE person is entitled to their OWN opinion be? That is just unfair. So you might hate the LGBTQIA community, but they are not doing anything that is directly affecting your freakin' life, so why can't you just leave them be? Racism should also be long gone, yet why are people still being racist? Everyone understands that people are different, yet some still claim that their race or something are far superior. Oh come on. Have you taken your history classes and passed? There is no one race that is superior nor inferior. If I had to say it, even animals are more civilized in recognizing that no matter what species they are, no matter how different they look from themselves, they can still be friends. Are humans too "wild" to understand that concept? Let me also add this: yes, you're entitled to your opinion, but when voicing your opinion, it shouldn't be in a way that's insulting or degrading, not even subtly. Babies don't know what is racism; it is taught and it is learned. What happened to the "Golden Rule" we learned as children? Were they just for show?
"do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
I may not be religious, but just seeing/reading about all these religious problems, and even during history classes, I always wonder... what would God say about this? Every religion claims that their God is THE God, but why can't they respect other religions? Because didn't that one God create an alias for each race and religion in which life would make sense for each? God never preached to fight to make him "the only one." I don't know how religious people feel, like how strongly toward their belief is. But... the one who's preaching... it's a human. And... is it strange for me to think some people manipulate the wordings or even 'teachings' of their God? Some people like to use the Bible as a ways of attacking something unorthodox, and I'm over here thinking "I'm pretty sure that's not what he meant." 

Of course, this rant cannot be used as a description for everyone in the fandom/on the internet/in the world/of a religion. I'm just sick of all these ignorant cowards who voice their opinions like what they say is the only truth etc. And they're too stubborn to accept anything contrary.
Humans...

Oops didn't realize I wrote such a long rant *merong*

I woke up early this morning only to get annoyed at my dad bc of some stupid request/promise he made to someone. I was up around 8 and didn't go back to sleep 'til around 10:30/11? I kept waking up and sleeping again. Ended up getting up around 3? Then we went out to pick up the CRV from the Honda place, then to Costco and Winco. Finally getting home.
I had this throbbing ache on my right temple. I napped with mom before she left for work, and then I napped on the couch bc dad needed to sleep before work. Still a throbbing ache and then Jo gave me cereal. I wanted to eat pizza but it's already late~ gotta get up and lose this fat but omg no motivation...
Hanging out with the crew tomorrow. So much to do though... I want pizza.

Another year of fireworks. The dogs are still scared, but this year there wasn't as many (loud) ones so they were okay. Me & Jo sat with them for a while. We were gone for a few hours to drop off Jim at SF. They were happy to see us when we got back. Jo was getting out of the van and Reno came up; I thought he was just sniffing around until he tried to jump into the van! I had to sort of carry him off xD (only his front legs made it on) Then Bobby followed mom into the house omg XD my mom was mostly laughing instead of being mad since she knew they were scared of the fireworks lol.

I was really mad today. We were eating at my grandparents' place & like the typical dad he is, he starts to talk about the same stuff he always does. I ignore him. Eventually it just got on my nerves, (bc he kept saying to auntie that he didn't know we were going to eat at my grandparents') especially when he was talking to auntie about how he hold grudges and stuff. F*k that. I hold grudges too, you think you're all that? For goodness sake, why do you even bother to hold the grudges? I literally felt all my pent up anger about to explode; I really had the urge to hit him or something. I was about to get into a fight. So I just breathed until I felt dizzy. And then I just ignored him.

Uh ohs. I gained again. Hm. Sad. Jo said we shall run tomorrow, but who knows if we will? lol

"optimism in the face of insurmountable odds is a superpower we have" --Tablo@bornhaters/SC

Me & Jim were just talking about stuff regarding dad's way of thinking/expressing about/for our future. And I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea and also how I'm approaching life right now; and in the future.
~~
Today we went shopping & I got myself a watercolor paint set *insert laughing/crying emoji* It's one step to getting myself to practice using watercolor/calligraphy lols. Pretty happy with it, but kinda worried I won't use it either... 

I might enter SONAMOO's 1theK contest but I don't know lol the dance is... iyah, not too hard, but some tricky areas. Maybe I just need to practice more *shrugs*
Late nights are so bad for me... I really need to lose some weight; it fluctuates +/- 2-3 lbs (morning to night) Tonight is really cold~

I just found out I missed the freakin' cutest short film before Finding Dory. O.M.G. Piperrrrr. Man, now I gotta wait for someone to upload it... I also missed the ending after the credits *sigh*

HURRY & DO YOUR FREAKIN' TASKS YOU STUPID SHEEP! *sigh* I also really need to clear my windows (I have 4 open full of tabs, but all suspended) & clean my desktop... & edit some vids, organize etc.... wow so much to do. I should make a to-do list. I need to get my butt movin....

There's something about posting really late at night... when your thoughts are collected and you start to think... Things that should have been done but haven't been... Hm, well that's everyday haha

The other day we had our first practice for ICC at Meimei's & it went pretty well. Everyone got the dance pretty fast. I had a great time, other than when I felt slightly flustered; when I really wanted to help them figure out a part of the dance, only to realize I don't know the dance as well as I thought. Like I know it, but only to the extent of following the video. Without the video, I'm pretty lost. But this practice, we jumped right into formation. And it didn't go too bad. Hopefully, next practice will be better, to the point where filming is within reach :)

Well, okay. So the moths haven't avenged LOL It's really just hives (urticaria) that I got.

This is ridiculous. How am I supposed to manage these red bumps? Usually appearing for no reason... fading in less than a day... appearing where it wasn't minutes before. These things fade with no need for medication (usually within a few weeks) so there's really no medication for them. Also, you can't pinpoint exactly why hives break out. A lot of times it will just appear. Other times; well, there are a few factors depending on the type of hives. Acute urticaria lasts for less than six weeks and can be caused by chemical or allergic reaction by certain foods & medications, and/or sunlight exposure. While I don't think it was any foods I ate, I just recently had medications. Apparently, a drug that can cause hives include painkillers such as codeine. Specifically, the painkiller I had for my wisdom teeth extraction had codeine (I believe). There's also physical urticaria, which is direct physical stimulation of the skin. Heat, sun exposure, sweating, and exercise included. I list those because I got this the day after we went out to water front. (Also, that night, me & Jo exercised the hell out of the dances & I was sweating a lot. Not to mention, it was pretty hot in the house & I was waging war with a vacuum cleaner.) However, physical urticaria occurs right where the skin is affected, yet mine is all over the body.
As you can see, hard to pinpoint.

Hives are a response to histamine, chemical released from your blood vessels. And all those factors I mentioned will cause histamine release.

There's really no treatment so I have to wait it out. I hate thissss.

*info gathered at webmd.com

Forreals there's a ridiculous amount of these lil' moths flying in the back room. The other day I waged war on the moths & was vacuuming them up. I woke up to find myself full of red splotches? While the red areas on my stomach had receded, leaving only red spots that itch a lil', my arms have really itchy red spots. The kind that if you scratch it, it will spread into a bigger spot. I guess they avenged their fallen comrades last night... -.-
Only to find out a lot more has come back, but the vacuum cleaner broke so I couldn't wage the 2nd war. Jo says it might just be our bed... I dunno.

The other day Victor drove me & Jo to the waterfront to catch Pokémon. It was super hot. It was really awkward too... Jessie, Bea, & Kathy met with us. I felt kinda bad that I talked more with them than Victor and Rayven, but he knows how I am. We also saw Orion and Kong! I'm not as shy around Orion I guess? Aigoo~ we went to say hi to Kong, but it was awk... I didn't think it would be >x< Jo & Kathy went to get Starbucks~ Afterward it started to cool down and a lot more people were coming to the waterfront. He took us home bc I had told him I needed to be home before 8.

Omg. Someone needed to save me. Out of the blue the other night, Armand decides to message me on IG and MAN was it awkward. He was all like "we should all hang out one day" (meaning w/ Bea & other old friends, as he puts it). He wanted to "reconnect with old friends" but bruh... it's been like 5 years? And I've never talked to you... and then today the convo took a weird turn. I really didn't want to be rude but I didn't know what to say...? I didn't want to meet up 'cause bruh, that's awk. This made me scared to go on my IG ToT All bc I posted that pic...
Well, that pic on FB also got Lee commenting LOL I didn't think he would? Also, I kept telling myself I need to hit him up, but I can't bring myself to text him >///< When he commented, it sounded like another "time-to-hang-out" time. It kinda relieved me from my IG anxiety. Then I started thinking... I would probably have wanted to rant to him, kind of thing. If we were closer.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say lol On his comment, I still can't get over how he 'lols' so easily now. Forreal... he never really 'lol'ed when we first messaged xD It sure took a while...
~
Whee! Going to SJ w/ Steph tomorrow (today)~ I should really sleep or else I won't be up LOL I was gonna watch a short BL I found on YT this morning, only to find out it got taken down. And I didn't even get the name down ToT all I know is that it's Chinese... and that the whole movie is about this dude who dreams about his love relationship with his friend(?) but the end of the movie is that, that friend of his goes out with a girl. Wtfudgeeee it was only 30min or sooo. I hope whoever uploaded it re-ups it. Hmph.

Oops just finished Tokyo Ghoul. Wow. That 1st season ending though. Can't believe it's almost 4am *insert laughing crying emoji* Finishing that anime was pretty fast, or so it seems. Why do some anime feel like they take longer? lol I don't know why I'm still sweating. Why is it so hotttt > >
I really love Uta-san's voice~ Seiyuu being Takahiro Sakurai~ he voiced a lot of the animes on my to-watch list xD and a few BL animes too~ LOL

I used a blackhead strip on my chin... and now there are visible blackheads. How annoying.

I finished saving a lot of Park Jin photos.... crazy me. Now I can do ASTRO's and U10's, though I feel like I'll be lazy. I need to finish the bows tomorrow too, hope it doesn't take long. I also drove Jo to the library. After the library, we walked to the waterfront. There were so many trainers there LOL there was a cute Asian guy! He was "going on his journey" alone xD such a quiet dude...?

So last night I decided to take a look at my stitches, and they weren't as scary as I thought. They were pretty small, just a knot. I was rinsing with saltwater when I felt the left stitches come out. One side of it had come out and the other was still inside the gums. At first I was worried bc I thought it was supposed to "dissolve" so I hurriedly looked it up. Apparently, dissolvable stitches mean it will dissolve or just come out. However, I also read some other stuff which kinda made me nervous. Like how stitches usually last from a week to months, but mine came out less than a week. But if it comes out, it just means my gums are healing well. I tried to pull it out, but it was so far back and I was holding my phone for flashlight too. My heart was racing. So many things ran through my head, going wrong. When I finally pulled it out--I didn't feel anything--but I felt so relieved. But the pressure of having to enduring that "fright" suddenly let itself go. I started to feel my hands "pulse" (hard to explain) and feel heavy, my head started to feel heavy, my ears started to ring, and I was about to hyperventilate. I still had to brush my teeth so I had to endure it. I tried to hurriedly brush my teeth so I can get to bed. While brushing my teeth, my eyes started to cloud over. More like that moment when you get dizzy and see stars, except I didn't see stars. Everything had a slightly darker tint? but I could still see. I guess it feels the same way when I felt like I was gonna faint after taking two shots, one on each arm, except I think that was bc I was trying to brave the shots so much that I held in my breath or maybe it was the pressure. I don't even know anymore. Either way, after I finished my heavy body walked out to get a drink a water, and I just got in bed. Still breathing a bit too much, and slightly shaking(?), I had to do deep breathing to calm myself down. I was really pale after pulling out the stitch. And that's the first time I even think I look pale as a ghost.
I'm fine now, but the socket hasn't closed yet. There's still an ugly hole so I have to be careful food doesn't accumulate in there, so I'ma eat even less and drink more water 'til it's closed I guess. I've dropped so much weight... but I haven't exercised really. My right side still a little sore and tight.

Yesterday I watched Gymnasium Baby. Uhm, it reminded me of Free! and so you can imagine there wasn't much but a kiss. Still liked it, but it was really meh. lol

Well, I woke up early this morning but went back to sleep, so really, I woke up around 11. My jaw was sore but didn't think I really needed to eat my painkillers. Also, mom ate my congee, so there was nothing for me to eat. Ended up taking Jim's advice and ate soggy cereal LOL but mom woke up & made me fresh congee~ not duck congee yay~ Eventually I took a painkiller & felt pretty sleepy. So I finished my small bowl of congee and took a nap on the couch. Didn't feel like I slept, but I did have a really annoying dream. I was super angry in it o.o so weird.

Downloaded "To Be Continued" and "Click Your Heart." Tried to save some ASTRO pics, but I got lazy. Maybe I shouldn't. Anyway, I watched Animation Runner Kuromi & aww, it was a sort of motivation, not a lot, but it was good enough. The ending song is really slow & sounds sad but it's good~

Oh my gahhh, I am so hungry, but all I get to eat is congee > > & Jell-O/grass jelly... while Jo gets to eat char siu. Ugh, can't wait to go out to eat crepes or something...

Well, apparently I only have 3 wisdom teeth. I don't know why Dr. Huang said I had 4 hmph. Since the top one hasn't grown out yet, I only pulled the bottom 2. The right side was the one growing crooked so it was harder to take out. It was a lot of pushing and pulling. I wasn't put to sleep. Right now my right side of my jaw is sore. I got dissolvable stitches but I don't know if it's gone yet. I can't (at least, won't) open my mouth wide enough to see. I was starving yesterday since I didn't eat when I went to get it pulled and couldn't eat afterward. I have painkillers and antibiotics to eat bleh. So I went with 24hrs without food. I drank water by dripping it from a straw, since I can't sip in case the suction pulls on my stitches. After I took my painkiller, I went to sleep around 8, but woke up an hr after. Went back to sleep again & kept waking up randomly? I think it was the heat. Went to sleep after another painkiller at 1am I think and woke up around 7/7:30am. Mom reheated congee for me. A big bowl but I couldn't even finish it or even eat half of it. I'm craving for something sweet so I had Jen buy me Jell-O LOL. Swallowing hurts, like when you have a sore throat. I didn't even talk much. My mouth still swollen a bit. I kinda slept a lot? Well, only after I ate the painkiller. I didn't fall into REM sleep though. My body felt heavy after the painkiller, when I was moving during my nap.

Anywho, Jen just went back to SF. I can't really do much... and haven't the energy to do anything. And I can't stop thinking about Uncontrolled Love, so I'ma rewatch it lol while drinking some congee. I have to rinse my mouth with saltwater too; sometimes I forget.

EDIT: Noticed things I didn't notice the first time I watched UL lol. I watched Boys Love and I hate the ending x'D If y'alls cringe at naked bodies, I don't recommend y'all to watch it. There's this really sweet part, when he holds his hand and watches him sleep after his emotional breakdown. I also just nibbled French fries from BK, the soft ones. Only chewed with my middle teeth and swallowed. These painkillers are strong; takes effect pretty fast. I found this series called Takumi-Kun Series on KissAsian. I don't know why they weren't put in a series set; instead it's split into different movies. I think I'ma watch one more before I shower. ((Psst, Jo won't let me keke)) She's cutting pork into really tiny pieces lol

EDIT2: Just finished Soshite, Harukaze ni Sasayaite & it was pretty sweet~ Man, after watching that I want to play my violin again... ((the "famous violinist" reminds me of someone & is kinda cute keke)) There's a BL2~ wonder if the movies connect though... welp. My jaw/tongue is starting to hurt. Better shower! :D

Another BL run today since it was so peaceful at home lol Let's see what I finished today...
It looks like I only finished Junjou Pure Heart. Lol It was pretty cute but Kurata kinda annoyed me sometimes... Just finished Uncontrolled Love but can you believe it? I have to wait for Season 2 in Aug. ugh! and that's where all the cute parts areeeee! There's already released BTS for that; watched a bit before realizing. I ain't watching that yet! And I watched halfway through their really cute interview xD Wow... the actors and their personalities were opposite of their characters' LOL
They both sing too! Man, but stuff about them is so hard to look up....

Well, being on YT you look at all the recommendations. Woops, my list of movies to watch just got longer >x<

Anyway, gotta sleep bc tomorrow... gotta pull my wisdom teeth out ToT

Here's a little secret... I'm a ふじょし.
Hey, you might know it already xD I'm not into the hardcore BL, just the soft/innocent and pure ones keke but anyway, I just did a J-drama movie run (I realize I'm not really into drama. And the irony? It's because once it's over, it's over xD movies are just over faster LOL)

While looking for something short to watch, I happened upon 愛の言霊 (Can you tell I'm having fun with my Jap. input typing? lol) Ai no kotodama. I found the part 2, but there's actually a 1st version. So I went and watched that. It wasn't much, but wow. Their relationship was just soooo cute. Typical manga style, eh? (I mean, it is an adaptation xD) But I couldn't help squealing. I watched it on YT so expect recommendations lol and I found 禁断の恋 Kindan no koi. Wow... it was... weird lol such a twisted ending... besides that, the relationship was cute when they cleared up the misunderstandings~ Still, the movie made me cringe a few times. Reading the YT comments was funny.
Okay, y'all know I love love~ kisses are the cutest (okay not even me but Jo went and found a cute gay asian couple kiss compilation on YT LOL and I'm sorry but alotofthemweresupercute and then I came upon a compilation for cute pocky kisses and sorrythatwassupercutetoo *sparkly eyes*)

Desperately looking for English sub for Kimi no ita natsu zenhen > < This is probably really bad for me to watch on YT... bc I keep looking for more movies to watch! Sucks that a lot aren't on KissAsian. And of course not on Viki or DramaFever... Oh save me! I need to slow down on these videos xD
I actually have a lot of stuff to watch, but that doesn't seem like it'll happen lol I should though...

I'm a pretty random person lol. I was just reading through some old comments on this blog and I don't even remember half the things I wrote! ((and realized sometimes I didn't reply to the comments haha or maybe I did, on their blog xD)) but anyway, yesterday we tried to cook a Japanese styled omelette. It didn't go too well but it looked decent! At least I didn't burn down the kitchen lols. I want to make stuff now... how about desserts? keke
I had this dream today.. and it was weird because Robin was in it? or not...

I went to sleep "early" last night. I woke up when Jo climbed over me, and I believe it was like 5am? Well, that's what it seemed like. And when I opened my eyes, it felt like I hadn't slept. Then I woke up a few more times because we had early alarms. Eventually woke up around 10:30/11. I just caught up with ASC right now. ASTRO is so precious.

So many things I planned to do this summer... but only like 1/5 actually went through? Also I think it's because I have to do Coach's stuff... and when I'm delaying that, I'm sacrificing everything else I want to do haha... ha... Welp. Should really get goin'.
Did I mention my violin is still in tune? keke

Ugh I am so annoyed right now because I can't do one freakin' simple hairstyle. I'm already annoyed about not being able to braid my own hair. I was trying to do this hairstyle; it's just twisting! but NOO my stupid hair won't stop tangling itself. So I'm so annoyed right now and I pretty much took it out on my hair by combing through it with my hand so roughly that I'm pulling hair out. ((I don't know why but I've been kinda losing more hair than usual lately? Like when I'm showering...)) Anyway, that's not even the only problem. Why won't my hair freakin' grow already. and why the heck is it always so freakin' oily and smelly. UGH. So pissed right now... > >

On a side note, I finally keychain-ed my DOB "set" lols Used Mod Podge for the first time. It SMELLS. So I put like 2 layers of MP and then sprayed with fixative again. Hopefully the colors don't scratch off. I should use resin instead of MP. Resin is so much prettier~ and will definitely protect the charms. Too bad it's pretty $$, but I heard there's a 5g at Daiso. Just not at my Daiso... hopefully at the one in SF. The whole point of me making that DOB charm was because, yes 1. I really love Taeyeongie and DOB lol but 2. because I want to remind myself to do my best (aka, their name Do One's Best) and that they've done it; they've worked hard busking and finally get to debut. So that whatever I want to accomplish, I just need to do my best and eventually I'll make it.

Lately me and Jo have been dancing some hard songs so that the next day we are really tired/sore. Actually, it's usually just me because Jo doesn't even go all out. Tried working out but that didn't work. Plus waking up early to go to the park to exercise... well, when we get there we do some weak workouts so that didn't help. Pretty disappointed because I'm not losing weight or my belly fat. ((Well, WiiFit says I am. Just little by little. But I think I gained again :p )) Speaking of dancing, worries? Not really. Just been thinking about POLARIS. How can we hold this group up? We've all grown up and are hitting into reality. There's no time for petty things like doing covers... It's hard to meet up as is. Or am I the one overestimating the group? So I'm just wondering... will we never do any more covers but just to have a name to hold?
--
And a rant about the world. Which all started because of the recent news around the world, the drama in the K-world, and GOT7's controversy. Also, you might get angry from the following rant, and may even disagree with me. Feel free to skip this section :) 
((This applies to all fandoms and any other connections you can make, such as with friends etc.))
It's scary how one can claim to be a so-called fan, but the moment they're in some trouble, they're the first to turn their backs on them. How can one consider themselves a true fan if their first response would be to jump out of the fandom? So let's say your idol did something terribly wrong; wouldn't a true fan feel really saddened? Or maybe even anger, within themselves for liking someone who would do something wrong. And this anger is usually thrown back at the idol as hatred, but I guess it's case-by-case. Is it me or some fans, if not many, are still so delusional that their biases/idols are "perfect"? The question is: what human in this world is 10-10 perfect? Yes, let's not forget these celebrities are human, just like you and me. So what if Yoochun goes to an adult café? Is he not human? Is he not an adult? Sure, maybe he should've been more careful and maybe he should've made the choice of not doing such things because of his status as a public figure, but these humanly things he does should not be something to be criticized so harshly, to that degree at least. Would you stop being friends with someone because you found out they go to some kind of adult café? Why is it that people think they have the right to criticize the things celebrities do? You sit behind a screen and hide in a room for goodness' sake. And if he did do something so criminally wrong, well, we don't have the right to judge; we'll let the Court decide that and his punishment. But before he's even confirmed guilty, what right do you have to say he is? It's like saying he is because he's accused as such, whether he's really done it or not. Where's the justice in that? I won't even go into most of what I was thinking while reading about GOT7's drama. But the thing is, death threats? Okay, death threats in general. Why? What right do you, behind a screen who don't even know the supposed person personally, have to tell someone to die or kill themselves? First of all, life shouldn't be treated so lightly. Once a life's gone, you can't bring it back. And people suiciding isn't a first where, whoever that cyber bully was, came out to apologize. It's just always too late. What good is it that you've apologized? We've lost a life; someone's lost a friend, a daughter/brother, a lover, a family member. You can't replace that for them. Never. Yet one can easily go on the internet to tell someone to die. Oh it's not hard to die, I mean you can try since you encourage it oh so often, so please watch your words carefully. This all comes down to my opinion on: what makes fans think they have all the right in the world to pretty much control what their favorite celebrities can do? Okay, maybe you wouldn't like seeing a public figure smoking/drinking or with tattoos, but those are all something a regular person would do. Is there a rule that says they have to give all that up if they want to become an idol? Who knows. I don't know.
Then there's the world. Ah, yes. Where's the little bit of humanity and hope left in these beings we call, human? The shootings were uncalled for. Just all of a sudden. Yes, every single person is entitled to their own opinion. And one who values their own opinion should understand the principle of valuing others' opinions. Why must we force one's own values on others? Then where would the idea that every SINGLE person is entitled to their OWN opinion be? That is just unfair. So you might hate the LGBTQIA community, but they are not doing anything that is directly affecting your freakin' life, so why can't you just leave them be? Racism should also be long gone, yet why are people still being racist? Everyone understands that people are different, yet some still claim that their race or something are far superior. Oh come on. Have you taken your history classes and passed? There is no one race that is superior nor inferior. If I had to say it, even animals are more civilized in recognizing that no matter what species they are, no matter how different they look from themselves, they can still be friends. Are humans too "wild" to understand that concept? Let me also add this: yes, you're entitled to your opinion, but when voicing your opinion, it shouldn't be in a way that's insulting or degrading, not even subtly. Babies don't know what is racism; it is taught and it is learned. What happened to the "Golden Rule" we learned as children? Were they just for show?
"do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
I may not be religious, but just seeing/reading about all these religious problems, and even during history classes, I always wonder... what would God say about this? Every religion claims that their God is THE God, but why can't they respect other religions? Because didn't that one God create an alias for each race and religion in which life would make sense for each? God never preached to fight to make him "the only one." I don't know how religious people feel, like how strongly toward their belief is. But... the one who's preaching... it's a human. And... is it strange for me to think some people manipulate the wordings or even 'teachings' of their God? Some people like to use the Bible as a ways of attacking something unorthodox, and I'm over here thinking "I'm pretty sure that's not what he meant." 

Of course, this rant cannot be used as a description for everyone in the fandom/on the internet/in the world/of a religion. I'm just sick of all these ignorant cowards who voice their opinions like what they say is the only truth etc. And they're too stubborn to accept anything contrary.
Humans...

Oops didn't realize I wrote such a long rant *merong*

I woke up early this morning only to get annoyed at my dad bc of some stupid request/promise he made to someone. I was up around 8 and didn't go back to sleep 'til around 10:30/11? I kept waking up and sleeping again. Ended up getting up around 3? Then we went out to pick up the CRV from the Honda place, then to Costco and Winco. Finally getting home.
I had this throbbing ache on my right temple. I napped with mom before she left for work, and then I napped on the couch bc dad needed to sleep before work. Still a throbbing ache and then Jo gave me cereal. I wanted to eat pizza but it's already late~ gotta get up and lose this fat but omg no motivation...
Hanging out with the crew tomorrow. So much to do though... I want pizza.

Another year of fireworks. The dogs are still scared, but this year there wasn't as many (loud) ones so they were okay. Me & Jo sat with them for a while. We were gone for a few hours to drop off Jim at SF. They were happy to see us when we got back. Jo was getting out of the van and Reno came up; I thought he was just sniffing around until he tried to jump into the van! I had to sort of carry him off xD (only his front legs made it on) Then Bobby followed mom into the house omg XD my mom was mostly laughing instead of being mad since she knew they were scared of the fireworks lol.

I was really mad today. We were eating at my grandparents' place & like the typical dad he is, he starts to talk about the same stuff he always does. I ignore him. Eventually it just got on my nerves, (bc he kept saying to auntie that he didn't know we were going to eat at my grandparents') especially when he was talking to auntie about how he hold grudges and stuff. F*k that. I hold grudges too, you think you're all that? For goodness sake, why do you even bother to hold the grudges? I literally felt all my pent up anger about to explode; I really had the urge to hit him or something. I was about to get into a fight. So I just breathed until I felt dizzy. And then I just ignored him.

Uh ohs. I gained again. Hm. Sad. Jo said we shall run tomorrow, but who knows if we will? lol

"optimism in the face of insurmountable odds is a superpower we have" --Tablo@bornhaters/SC

Me & Jim were just talking about stuff regarding dad's way of thinking/expressing about/for our future. And I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea and also how I'm approaching life right now; and in the future.
~~
Today we went shopping & I got myself a watercolor paint set *insert laughing/crying emoji* It's one step to getting myself to practice using watercolor/calligraphy lols. Pretty happy with it, but kinda worried I won't use it either... 

I might enter SONAMOO's 1theK contest but I don't know lol the dance is... iyah, not too hard, but some tricky areas. Maybe I just need to practice more *shrugs*
Late nights are so bad for me... I really need to lose some weight; it fluctuates +/- 2-3 lbs (morning to night) Tonight is really cold~

I just found out I missed the freakin' cutest short film before Finding Dory. O.M.G. Piperrrrr. Man, now I gotta wait for someone to upload it... I also missed the ending after the credits *sigh*

HURRY & DO YOUR FREAKIN' TASKS YOU STUPID SHEEP! *sigh* I also really need to clear my windows (I have 4 open full of tabs, but all suspended) & clean my desktop... & edit some vids, organize etc.... wow so much to do. I should make a to-do list. I need to get my butt movin....

There's something about posting really late at night... when your thoughts are collected and you start to think... Things that should have been done but haven't been... Hm, well that's everyday haha

The other day we had our first practice for ICC at Meimei's & it went pretty well. Everyone got the dance pretty fast. I had a great time, other than when I felt slightly flustered; when I really wanted to help them figure out a part of the dance, only to realize I don't know the dance as well as I thought. Like I know it, but only to the extent of following the video. Without the video, I'm pretty lost. But this practice, we jumped right into formation. And it didn't go too bad. Hopefully, next practice will be better, to the point where filming is within reach :)

Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts or at least we are getting there.

I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^

February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 March 2012 June 2012 July 2012 September 2012 November 2012 September 2013 October 2013 December 2013 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 June 2015 July 2015 August 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 March 2017 April 2017 May 2017 June 2017 July 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 March 2018 April 2018 May 2018 June 2018 July 2018 August 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 January 2019 February 2019 March 2019 April 2019 June 2019 July 2019 August 2019 September 2019 October 2019 November 2019 December 2019 January 2020 February 2020 March 2020 April 2020 May 2020 June 2020 July 2020 August 2020 September 2020 October 2020 November 2020 December 2020 January 2021 February 2021 March 2021 April 2021 May 2021 June 2021 July 2021 November 2021 December 2021 January 2022 February 2022 April 2022 August 2022 October 2022 December 2022 March 2023 May 2023 September 2023 February 2024 March 2024 June 2024 September 2024 October 2024 December 2024 January 2025 February 2025 June 2025 January 2026 April 2026 August 2026