If you read up on Zodiac readings (I am not sure what they're called), you'd know that this year is apparently fan tai sui (犯太歲) for the Ox-born people. I didn't know this, but fan tai sui happens at specific ages. Unfortunately for us, 24 is one of them LOL. How much of it is true, who knows. I didn't really look into it (I believe it also depends on time/star alignment when you were born--used to calculate how well you match with someone else in them olden days haha) I read it off here. While he's no expert, it was quite entertaining to look at.

As you can see, for the Ox, we got the short stick for the year. Y'all know it already, but wealth/career ain't happening this year! lol Though last Saturday (02/20/2021) was SHMCon, and I had a few sales which I am super grateful for. I knew a dry spell was going to happen after, though. Just because your Zodiac says it's going to be a bad year for you, doesn't mean you don't keep fighting. That first point said "Mooov them aside. Keep going." I think struggles are great in pushing ourselves to grow, though we may not enjoy/like them at all. While wealth/career are struggling, that's expected, let's hope health isn't bad, especially during this time in the pandemic...

But I guess what I wanted to say had to deal with relationships. Sure, I get one otter point out of five, but are we really going to let Zodiac/horoscope predictions define what we actually end up obtaining? It's like, if you let labels define you: though they weren't true, you started believing them, and you make them come true. You let the labels define you. I don't know if that made any sense. I haven't posted in a while because I hadn't the need to spill any tea. But I think the stress had built up, and I continued to keep everything in. It's not something I would blatantly complain to my sisters or friends, but in a way, I can spill tea to my blog. 

I can't remember if this happened last week, but just these past few days alone, we've fought. Saying the whole day would be incorrect, but it's a lot. One fight (I think it was last week?) almost ended with us breaking up. And if you didn't know, that was ~probably~ the third or fourth time we were close to breaking up LOL. It makes me think... how good it would be to be single again. At least you'll never be hurt :') I have nothing against romantic relationships though! I love love LOL but being in a relationship with someone who is not "you" will come with fights. They're not "you" in the sense that your habits, needs/wants, thought process-- just everything-- is not... "you." You and your partner may have that honeymoon phase where nothing either of you do will bother the other (we had quite a long one), but eventually, you will become comfortable with each other and each will have expectations of the other. Both of you will start "slacking" because there is no need to impress the other. In a good relationship, I think if that happens, neither of you would really mind. On the contrary, I think the changes will have negative effects and take a toll on the relationship.

...

And yet, when do you know it is time to part? 

I still cannot understand how anyone can part ways with a partner they spent years with. The same with, how can anyone who's been in a relationship bear to cheat on their partner. It doesn't make sense to me. I think I would understand if one has fallen out of love for their partner... (that still doesn't justify cheating; just cut it clean if that's how you really feel *rolls eyes*) Anyway, I digress.

So when/how would you know when one has become a hinderance to the other's growth? When/how would you know when you have become a negative influence on the other's life? Who defines these anyway? Also, how do you differentiate, not wanting to lose the way of life (you know, 'cause people hate changes) versus not wanting to lose material items versus not wanting to lose your partner... --ok this didn't make any sense. I don't know where I was trying to get at. ~ignore~

...

I think... that's where people break up for each other's good-- on mutual terms-- but in the worst case, heartbroken. (Did you know, I've felt my heartstrings break during one of our fights in the past? LOL like I really felt it. My chest did hurt... so much that I tried gripping it. Heh. I wonder if I posted about it... Even remembering all those times makes me sad... as someone who has pretty vivid memory...)

Even if we made it past those fights... what price did we have to pay for the rest of the time? How would it effect how we interact with each other? ... I dont' know.

~~

Nana, or any of you who read this, I don't want to discourage being in a relationship. I think being in one has their perks! Please just enjoy the time with your partner. In your dictionary, if they're worth the fight, I wish you stay strong and work things out. Ultimately, if you both agree it won't work out anymore, I wish you the best possible breakup (uh, that reads wrong LOL but I hope you understand my sentiment). Can a breakup happen with no heartbreak...? I guess that depends on the person. 

To be honest... if this relationship doesn't work out, I don't know if it'll work it out with another partner. I seem to be the catalyst pft. He's already patient with me as it is, but even he has a threshold for my "princess-tantrums." (Okay, it's not that I throw tantrums, but I get easily annoyed when things aren't done in a specific way, or if something is said that I don't like hearing-- it puts me in a really bad mood LOL and when I'm in a bad mood, I just don't want to talk. Let me simmer in my anger LOL but then that pisses him off.) Oop, no more details of my relationship lol.

Sometimes I would like to be left to myself...
love hurts, love anyway

If you read up on Zodiac readings (I am not sure what they're called), you'd know that this year is apparently fan tai sui (犯太歲) for the Ox-born people. I didn't know this, but fan tai sui happens at specific ages. Unfortunately for us, 24 is one of them LOL. How much of it is true, who knows. I didn't really look into it (I believe it also depends on time/star alignment when you were born--used to calculate how well you match with someone else in them olden days haha) I read it off here. While he's no expert, it was quite entertaining to look at.

As you can see, for the Ox, we got the short stick for the year. Y'all know it already, but wealth/career ain't happening this year! lol Though last Saturday (02/20/2021) was SHMCon, and I had a few sales which I am super grateful for. I knew a dry spell was going to happen after, though. Just because your Zodiac says it's going to be a bad year for you, doesn't mean you don't keep fighting. That first point said "Mooov them aside. Keep going." I think struggles are great in pushing ourselves to grow, though we may not enjoy/like them at all. While wealth/career are struggling, that's expected, let's hope health isn't bad, especially during this time in the pandemic...

But I guess what I wanted to say had to deal with relationships. Sure, I get one otter point out of five, but are we really going to let Zodiac/horoscope predictions define what we actually end up obtaining? It's like, if you let labels define you: though they weren't true, you started believing them, and you make them come true. You let the labels define you. I don't know if that made any sense. I haven't posted in a while because I hadn't the need to spill any tea. But I think the stress had built up, and I continued to keep everything in. It's not something I would blatantly complain to my sisters or friends, but in a way, I can spill tea to my blog. 

I can't remember if this happened last week, but just these past few days alone, we've fought. Saying the whole day would be incorrect, but it's a lot. One fight (I think it was last week?) almost ended with us breaking up. And if you didn't know, that was ~probably~ the third or fourth time we were close to breaking up LOL. It makes me think... how good it would be to be single again. At least you'll never be hurt :') I have nothing against romantic relationships though! I love love LOL but being in a relationship with someone who is not "you" will come with fights. They're not "you" in the sense that your habits, needs/wants, thought process-- just everything-- is not... "you." You and your partner may have that honeymoon phase where nothing either of you do will bother the other (we had quite a long one), but eventually, you will become comfortable with each other and each will have expectations of the other. Both of you will start "slacking" because there is no need to impress the other. In a good relationship, I think if that happens, neither of you would really mind. On the contrary, I think the changes will have negative effects and take a toll on the relationship.

...

And yet, when do you know it is time to part? 

I still cannot understand how anyone can part ways with a partner they spent years with. The same with, how can anyone who's been in a relationship bear to cheat on their partner. It doesn't make sense to me. I think I would understand if one has fallen out of love for their partner... (that still doesn't justify cheating; just cut it clean if that's how you really feel *rolls eyes*) Anyway, I digress.

So when/how would you know when one has become a hinderance to the other's growth? When/how would you know when you have become a negative influence on the other's life? Who defines these anyway? Also, how do you differentiate, not wanting to lose the way of life (you know, 'cause people hate changes) versus not wanting to lose material items versus not wanting to lose your partner... --ok this didn't make any sense. I don't know where I was trying to get at. ~ignore~

...

I think... that's where people break up for each other's good-- on mutual terms-- but in the worst case, heartbroken. (Did you know, I've felt my heartstrings break during one of our fights in the past? LOL like I really felt it. My chest did hurt... so much that I tried gripping it. Heh. I wonder if I posted about it... Even remembering all those times makes me sad... as someone who has pretty vivid memory...)

Even if we made it past those fights... what price did we have to pay for the rest of the time? How would it effect how we interact with each other? ... I dont' know.

~~

Nana, or any of you who read this, I don't want to discourage being in a relationship. I think being in one has their perks! Please just enjoy the time with your partner. In your dictionary, if they're worth the fight, I wish you stay strong and work things out. Ultimately, if you both agree it won't work out anymore, I wish you the best possible breakup (uh, that reads wrong LOL but I hope you understand my sentiment). Can a breakup happen with no heartbreak...? I guess that depends on the person. 

To be honest... if this relationship doesn't work out, I don't know if it'll work it out with another partner. I seem to be the catalyst pft. He's already patient with me as it is, but even he has a threshold for my "princess-tantrums." (Okay, it's not that I throw tantrums, but I get easily annoyed when things aren't done in a specific way, or if something is said that I don't like hearing-- it puts me in a really bad mood LOL and when I'm in a bad mood, I just don't want to talk. Let me simmer in my anger LOL but then that pisses him off.) Oop, no more details of my relationship lol.

Sometimes I would like to be left to myself...
love hurts, love anyway