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Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/

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Woops. I was driving sort of reckless today haha but no one got hurt! lol We sort of cleaned up in the morning then went out to buy Taco Bell for Jobee's lunch. We cleaned up some more at home. When Jo got home, we went to Wal-Mart to buy her notebook. I drove on the freeway. Gosh Jen being picky about my speed limit xD
Woke up early this morning, & happened to come up with so many theories for 24K's "Still 24K" MV LOL

Going rafting in Sac tomorrow! Coach asked about the bows, but I wasn't even close to done x'D Jim helped a bit, my slight OCD didn't allow me to let her do it LOL. After we finished the green set, I started on the yellow set while trying to finish Antique Bakery (K-drama). I did all 8 pew bows by myself. They all looked better than the green set that we finished, probably because I was on a roll~ & the 2nd glitter tulle I used wasn't as stiff and "sticky" as the 1st one I used; a lot softer. So the yellow bows definitely looked nicer. I finished in like 2hrs? Around 1am. Technically not done because I still need to tie the bows to the front; but I'll do that in the car tomorrow.

Welp. Jo is over here memorizing the 1st Amendment for journalism lol I will finish my drama finally~ while Robin is trying to figure out what to do because he wants to hangout before I go back to SJ. Lee needs to come by to pick up his keychain.... hm. Why do guys only take me to movies? LOLOL

--EDIT--
It's almost 3am right now & I just finished the drama! Omg the ending was really good~ well, better than the anime's ending. There was some explanation. Some translations that didn't really make sense in the anime, made sense in the movie (the scenes were pretty much identical).
I really like the café's interaction with each other when they found out he saved the kidnapped kid and he himself was fine; that was like some amazing friendship/acquaintance <3 Jinhyuk lets them have a group hug, but the group hug went on for too long that he pushed them off. As soon as he turned around, he ran! lol and the other 3 chased after him; that was so cute~
Apparently Jinhyuk was homophobic (as shown in the anime, since the drama didn't really say but hinted), and it's known that Sunwoo is afraid of women, and we also see that. At the end Sunwoo gave Jinhyuk a hug while greeting these 3 school girls who regularly come to the café; I really love how they both changed after going through everything together--Jinhyuk was less homophobic and Sunwoo was getting more comfortable around girls.
I think my favorite part was when they spent Christmas together; Jinhyuk says 'merry christmas' to them secretly outside the store & pretend to be all cool and stuff when they were celebrating. (Also when he went to make deliveries & he told them to be good boys & watch the store, Gibeom and Sunwoo gave him such cute smiles and waved him off <3)
It's crazy what a little makeup and new hairstyle could do. Seriously, when I watched the beginning, I was like these guys aren't cute & these aren't the same people... right?. After watching the ending, and they had school flashbacks, I realized the people were the same xD
Gibeom looked like Eric Nam when I first saw him; such a cutie. Guess who it was? Yoo Ah-in xD The child actor for young Jinhyuk was Yeo Jin-goo & wow, he's actually a pretty well-known actor now, too. (His wiki picture wasn't cute though) & Ju Ji-hoon, who played Jinhyuk reminds me of Road Boyz's Maca in some pics haha & Kim Jae-wook reminds me of Kangnam, especially at some angles in the movie.
Well, I shouldn't over-analyze or -comment about the drama. I think it was overall really good (except for some creepy/exorcisy effects... hehe...) <3 <3

Today I went out to Bon Mange with Jessica, Jessie, Steph, and Meimei. Afterward we went to Marshall's. There wasn't much to do so we eventually went home pretty soon.

School is starting soon; Jo is going to school tomorrow! So fast. I'm going soon too /cries. Guess no cover. Jim is coming home tomorrow nightttt~ (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
I stayed up a little too late saving and looking up info on Dynamic Chord, which of course would lead me to different stuff. I happened upon Eight of Triangle, and their song "Adagio" is my favorite. I found them on Spotify today, and when I pushed play, it was the first song played! :D On a side note, Dynamic Chord's BGM is really nice. I only heard one, but I'm pretty sure all the other BGM are up to par~ wonder if they'll release some kind of BGM soundtrack CD...
So many albums/singles I want, but seems like Hikarinoakari won't have it or will be slow with it (when I will forget about it). But yeah. I have such a wide range of music taste....

--EDIT-- 1am
I just finished watching "Antique Bakery" (anime) & damn. The cakes looked so yummy! I seriously love vintage cafés/coffee shops. Why is it so hard to find oneeeee? Anyway, it was supposed to be shounen ai, but it wasn't much too be honest. It was only a little bit in the beginning, then it turned to wow cakes story, then leading to a traumatic kidnapping lol Overall I think it was pretty good, though it was really slow. I'ma watch the K-drama, but apparently, the J-TV series focused mostly on the bakery and their traumatizing backstories, so I'm not watching that. Really love the OP & ED too 

I woke up kinda late today. Watched Massugu ni Ikou, both seasons. They're cute lil' episodes & I cried at some parts, especially at Gen's episodes. It really gives you a dog's perspective, but how accurate it is. Well, who can say. I think I'ma go watch DRAMAtical Murder later.

I don't even know where to start haha Lessee. Well, where I left off; Nancy came to pick me and Jo up for badminton at SF. It's been a while since I've played~ still getting those corner shots ;D but still missing my drops hmph. Afterward we ate thai food. It was too late for desserts and Tong was already so tired. We packed up the cats and we came home.  2 days later we ended up going back to SF with them for the weekend (which was Wed-Fri).

-The night of Wed, there wasn't much to do but Jen took us to Mr.T café for "dinner" lol It was really cold and we were wearing shorts. We had to grab my camcorder from the car so we had to fight the wind and climb uphill lol
-Thurs. we woke up early bc Mocha was being loud and hungry, smacking her crunchie bag so we were up around 9:30. Pitch black in the room & Jo thought it was 6am LOL we went to Mr.T café for breakfast and I got my sea salt iced coffee. Mmm~ at first it was very bitter, almost like black coffee. After mixing it and letting it sit, it didn't taste as bitter. The after taste still tasted like black coffee though. I have a thing for coffee... lol Then we played at the playground. First time on see-saws! Jobee fell off omg that was hilarious xD and we did "practice" covers. When Jen got off, we went to play badminton. We get to see Jim's favorite "Benjamin" coach lol. Bc it was only us 4, we were going a little crazy. Apparently when 3 of us fell on the floor laughing, he and his assistant coach ((correction: apparently not assistant coach lol)) laughed at us. *shrugs* He was bored teaching his lil' beginner students; we were his only entertainment. He stared after us when we left o.o We had sushi for dinner~ Mmm~ I could barely finish my udon. First time eating raw fish too. I think it was salmon? But it was thin slice. We also took out dessert from Sweet Indulgences~
-Friday we didn't wake up as early. Mr.T café wasn't open. Did we eat anything? I can't remember. I only remember we drank soup. Then we went out to film my "Emptiness" cover. It was kinda rushed. Jen got off work early and brought us boxed sushi and bibimbap. Eating while dancing keke. After we finished, we headed off to Japantown~ Rushed around to different stores, trying not to waste time. Didn't buy stuff in the beginning. Nothing to buy at Daiso... we tried the Dragon's Breath and was pretty disappointed with it. Other than tasting like Froot Loops, the fog didn't last very long. And it was hard for me to puff much fog like other people (bc I don't vape! lol) It was cool at first, but we didn't even finish half of it before the fog was all gone. Of course, other than the vape, that thing was probably not worth the 4.99 (we got the small one). We looked at Kinokuniya and Maido (really good felting set was $20! > <). Things were too $$$. I wanted a purikura but after taking a look inside, I had a 2nd thought bc it actually was "too much" I guess you could say. We also bought a crepé but we should've gotten the animal one instead of Sophie's crepé :p Next time. We went downstairs to Kinokuniya's manga/anime part of the store. I got... so... tempted... I spent around $30-40 on a box of Uta no Prince-sama's posters, 3 keychains - one from Tsukiuta and another from K-project. Eep. They were pretty much $8.99 each. The poster box included 2 posters (if you realize that most anime merchandise are limited edition, it was a pretty good deal!)

*[After opening them, I'm quite happy with what I got; except for the K-project one. And Jim chose that one. She wasn't having a very lucky day LOL my Uta no Prince-sama, I got Syo and Ranmaru. I really wanted Ai, but luckily Ranmaru was my #2~ lol. I think I'm destined for pink; for Tsukiuta, I didn't really have a favorite other than wanting Rui bc Shouta voiced him, but I got Koi~ he's pink-haired and born in Feb~ I kinda wished I got another poster box instead of the K-project keychain... but eep! I want more! >x<]

We drove to Oakland bc that's where Dad picked us up. I drove the rest of the way home when we hit Tracy. I think it's been awhile since I've sat in my dad's car; it was so jerky. I had fallen asleep on the ride home and I just know my head's been lolling in every which way. 
~
Jo's going back to school in like 2 days. Me, another a week or so. Kinda not ready? *shrug* Still debating over 12u or 15u. 4 ANI classes... I don't know if I can do it... It definitely means no job for me. I don't want to overestimate myself... I'm always thinking about my future... how it will be. I want it one way, but I always doubt that it'll happen. I surround myself with people who are really good and who are really into it to motivate me. Half the time, it just tells me I don't have the same passion as them; I can't do as well as them bc I don't have the talent & obviously too lazy to have the skill (well, it's just coming really slow). But since I chose this path, I guess I'll just have to see what lies at the end of the road. Just one day... I hope I get to realize all those lil' big dreams I have. Just one day... I hope all this money and time spent at school was worth it.
So little time but I need to meet up with POLARIS and gotta finish up Coach's stuff. She just messaged me today to ask me to felt her a penguin couple for her cake table. I also messaged Lee about his keychain & I guess he's picking it up some time. Another busy weekend ahead bc apparently I'm going rafting on Saturday. Still need to accept my finaid...
It's amazing I remembered so much still.

I don't want to be an adult yet... sigh
--
On a side note, I want to watch that J-drama Minar watched. I keep telling myself I need a good cry & I still haven't gotten it! I still need to watch Hachiko Monogatari. 

So apparently my hives were because I pretty much overheated? lol Steph took me to SJ yesterday & the weather was a lot cooler. By the end of the trip, all my hives disappeared. I woke up this morning & they were permanently gone.

Me and Steph were accidentally matching! <3 lol When we got to SJ, we set up her bed frame and stuff. Then we waited for KG & went to get crepes with Biri too. It was really filling; not too sweet. Then we went to catch Pokemon on the way when we went grocery shopping with Biri. Steph's sister came to pick us up and we went to iTea. I'm still pretty full lol. We went to the Great Mall. After Marshall's, we went to Daiso. I think I splurged again. It's already 9pm and we went to a plaza for dinner, had shawarma for the 1st time. I got a pita bread one and I had to eat slowly. They had to wait a little bit for me lol It was pretty good. Then we went to Honey Berry because her sister wanted roti buns. Dude, the place smelled so good~ My hair ended up soaking it up.

I ate so much that day. Since I've only been eating mostly congee, I think my stomach was slow at digesting. I was so full still. Fell asleep on the ride back. Woke up when we gassed up. Thought we were in Stockton, but nope lols.
Going to SF tomorrow for badminton, wheee! :D

Today I finished 3 more bows for Coach. I also want to start crocheting. I bought UV resin, crochet hook, and a letter set at Daiso yesterday lol Fought with moths again after we fixed the vacuum cleaner. We had to unscrew the back bc we weren't able to remove the hose bc it was really stuck. Mom vacuumed a glove so it was clogged. We vacuumed a lot of moths but when we finished, more appeared > > War pt3 tomorrow...

Well, okay. So the moths haven't avenged LOL It's really just hives (urticaria) that I got.

This is ridiculous. How am I supposed to manage these red bumps? Usually appearing for no reason... fading in less than a day... appearing where it wasn't minutes before. These things fade with no need for medication (usually within a few weeks) so there's really no medication for them. Also, you can't pinpoint exactly why hives break out. A lot of times it will just appear. Other times; well, there are a few factors depending on the type of hives. Acute urticaria lasts for less than six weeks and can be caused by chemical or allergic reaction by certain foods & medications, and/or sunlight exposure. While I don't think it was any foods I ate, I just recently had medications. Apparently, a drug that can cause hives include painkillers such as codeine. Specifically, the painkiller I had for my wisdom teeth extraction had codeine (I believe). There's also physical urticaria, which is direct physical stimulation of the skin. Heat, sun exposure, sweating, and exercise included. I list those because I got this the day after we went out to water front. (Also, that night, me & Jo exercised the hell out of the dances & I was sweating a lot. Not to mention, it was pretty hot in the house & I was waging war with a vacuum cleaner.) However, physical urticaria occurs right where the skin is affected, yet mine is all over the body.
As you can see, hard to pinpoint.

Hives are a response to histamine, chemical released from your blood vessels. And all those factors I mentioned will cause histamine release.

There's really no treatment so I have to wait it out. I hate thissss.

*info gathered at webmd.com

Forreals there's a ridiculous amount of these lil' moths flying in the back room. The other day I waged war on the moths & was vacuuming them up. I woke up to find myself full of red splotches? While the red areas on my stomach had receded, leaving only red spots that itch a lil', my arms have really itchy red spots. The kind that if you scratch it, it will spread into a bigger spot. I guess they avenged their fallen comrades last night... -.-
Only to find out a lot more has come back, but the vacuum cleaner broke so I couldn't wage the 2nd war. Jo says it might just be our bed... I dunno.

The other day Victor drove me & Jo to the waterfront to catch Pokémon. It was super hot. It was really awkward too... Jessie, Bea, & Kathy met with us. I felt kinda bad that I talked more with them than Victor and Rayven, but he knows how I am. We also saw Orion and Kong! I'm not as shy around Orion I guess? Aigoo~ we went to say hi to Kong, but it was awk... I didn't think it would be >x< Jo & Kathy went to get Starbucks~ Afterward it started to cool down and a lot more people were coming to the waterfront. He took us home bc I had told him I needed to be home before 8.

Omg. Someone needed to save me. Out of the blue the other night, Armand decides to message me on IG and MAN was it awkward. He was all like "we should all hang out one day" (meaning w/ Bea & other old friends, as he puts it). He wanted to "reconnect with old friends" but bruh... it's been like 5 years? And I've never talked to you... and then today the convo took a weird turn. I really didn't want to be rude but I didn't know what to say...? I didn't want to meet up 'cause bruh, that's awk. This made me scared to go on my IG ToT All bc I posted that pic...
Well, that pic on FB also got Lee commenting LOL I didn't think he would? Also, I kept telling myself I need to hit him up, but I can't bring myself to text him >///< When he commented, it sounded like another "time-to-hang-out" time. It kinda relieved me from my IG anxiety. Then I started thinking... I would probably have wanted to rant to him, kind of thing. If we were closer.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say lol On his comment, I still can't get over how he 'lols' so easily now. Forreal... he never really 'lol'ed when we first messaged xD It sure took a while...
~
Whee! Going to SJ w/ Steph tomorrow (today)~ I should really sleep or else I won't be up LOL I was gonna watch a short BL I found on YT this morning, only to find out it got taken down. And I didn't even get the name down ToT all I know is that it's Chinese... and that the whole movie is about this dude who dreams about his love relationship with his friend(?) but the end of the movie is that, that friend of his goes out with a girl. Wtfudgeeee it was only 30min or sooo. I hope whoever uploaded it re-ups it. Hmph.

Oops just finished Tokyo Ghoul. Wow. That 1st season ending though. Can't believe it's almost 4am *insert laughing crying emoji* Finishing that anime was pretty fast, or so it seems. Why do some anime feel like they take longer? lol I don't know why I'm still sweating. Why is it so hotttt > >
I really love Uta-san's voice~ Seiyuu being Takahiro Sakurai~ he voiced a lot of the animes on my to-watch list xD and a few BL animes too~ LOL

I used a blackhead strip on my chin... and now there are visible blackheads. How annoying.

I finished saving a lot of Park Jin photos.... crazy me. Now I can do ASTRO's and U10's, though I feel like I'll be lazy. I need to finish the bows tomorrow too, hope it doesn't take long. I also drove Jo to the library. After the library, we walked to the waterfront. There were so many trainers there LOL there was a cute Asian guy! He was "going on his journey" alone xD such a quiet dude...?

So last night I decided to take a look at my stitches, and they weren't as scary as I thought. They were pretty small, just a knot. I was rinsing with saltwater when I felt the left stitches come out. One side of it had come out and the other was still inside the gums. At first I was worried bc I thought it was supposed to "dissolve" so I hurriedly looked it up. Apparently, dissolvable stitches mean it will dissolve or just come out. However, I also read some other stuff which kinda made me nervous. Like how stitches usually last from a week to months, but mine came out less than a week. But if it comes out, it just means my gums are healing well. I tried to pull it out, but it was so far back and I was holding my phone for flashlight too. My heart was racing. So many things ran through my head, going wrong. When I finally pulled it out--I didn't feel anything--but I felt so relieved. But the pressure of having to enduring that "fright" suddenly let itself go. I started to feel my hands "pulse" (hard to explain) and feel heavy, my head started to feel heavy, my ears started to ring, and I was about to hyperventilate. I still had to brush my teeth so I had to endure it. I tried to hurriedly brush my teeth so I can get to bed. While brushing my teeth, my eyes started to cloud over. More like that moment when you get dizzy and see stars, except I didn't see stars. Everything had a slightly darker tint? but I could still see. I guess it feels the same way when I felt like I was gonna faint after taking two shots, one on each arm, except I think that was bc I was trying to brave the shots so much that I held in my breath or maybe it was the pressure. I don't even know anymore. Either way, after I finished my heavy body walked out to get a drink a water, and I just got in bed. Still breathing a bit too much, and slightly shaking(?), I had to do deep breathing to calm myself down. I was really pale after pulling out the stitch. And that's the first time I even think I look pale as a ghost.
I'm fine now, but the socket hasn't closed yet. There's still an ugly hole so I have to be careful food doesn't accumulate in there, so I'ma eat even less and drink more water 'til it's closed I guess. I've dropped so much weight... but I haven't exercised really. My right side still a little sore and tight.

Yesterday I watched Gymnasium Baby. Uhm, it reminded me of Free! and so you can imagine there wasn't much but a kiss. Still liked it, but it was really meh. lol

Well, I woke up early this morning but went back to sleep, so really, I woke up around 11. My jaw was sore but didn't think I really needed to eat my painkillers. Also, mom ate my congee, so there was nothing for me to eat. Ended up taking Jim's advice and ate soggy cereal LOL but mom woke up & made me fresh congee~ not duck congee yay~ Eventually I took a painkiller & felt pretty sleepy. So I finished my small bowl of congee and took a nap on the couch. Didn't feel like I slept, but I did have a really annoying dream. I was super angry in it o.o so weird.

Downloaded "To Be Continued" and "Click Your Heart." Tried to save some ASTRO pics, but I got lazy. Maybe I shouldn't. Anyway, I watched Animation Runner Kuromi & aww, it was a sort of motivation, not a lot, but it was good enough. The ending song is really slow & sounds sad but it's good~

Oh my gahhh, I am so hungry, but all I get to eat is congee > > & Jell-O/grass jelly... while Jo gets to eat char siu. Ugh, can't wait to go out to eat crepes or something...

Well, apparently I only have 3 wisdom teeth. I don't know why Dr. Huang said I had 4 hmph. Since the top one hasn't grown out yet, I only pulled the bottom 2. The right side was the one growing crooked so it was harder to take out. It was a lot of pushing and pulling. I wasn't put to sleep. Right now my right side of my jaw is sore. I got dissolvable stitches but I don't know if it's gone yet. I can't (at least, won't) open my mouth wide enough to see. I was starving yesterday since I didn't eat when I went to get it pulled and couldn't eat afterward. I have painkillers and antibiotics to eat bleh. So I went with 24hrs without food. I drank water by dripping it from a straw, since I can't sip in case the suction pulls on my stitches. After I took my painkiller, I went to sleep around 8, but woke up an hr after. Went back to sleep again & kept waking up randomly? I think it was the heat. Went to sleep after another painkiller at 1am I think and woke up around 7/7:30am. Mom reheated congee for me. A big bowl but I couldn't even finish it or even eat half of it. I'm craving for something sweet so I had Jen buy me Jell-O LOL. Swallowing hurts, like when you have a sore throat. I didn't even talk much. My mouth still swollen a bit. I kinda slept a lot? Well, only after I ate the painkiller. I didn't fall into REM sleep though. My body felt heavy after the painkiller, when I was moving during my nap.

Anywho, Jen just went back to SF. I can't really do much... and haven't the energy to do anything. And I can't stop thinking about Uncontrolled Love, so I'ma rewatch it lol while drinking some congee. I have to rinse my mouth with saltwater too; sometimes I forget.

EDIT: Noticed things I didn't notice the first time I watched UL lol. I watched Boys Love and I hate the ending x'D If y'alls cringe at naked bodies, I don't recommend y'all to watch it. There's this really sweet part, when he holds his hand and watches him sleep after his emotional breakdown. I also just nibbled French fries from BK, the soft ones. Only chewed with my middle teeth and swallowed. These painkillers are strong; takes effect pretty fast. I found this series called Takumi-Kun Series on KissAsian. I don't know why they weren't put in a series set; instead it's split into different movies. I think I'ma watch one more before I shower. ((Psst, Jo won't let me keke)) She's cutting pork into really tiny pieces lol

EDIT2: Just finished Soshite, Harukaze ni Sasayaite & it was pretty sweet~ Man, after watching that I want to play my violin again... ((the "famous violinist" reminds me of someone & is kinda cute keke)) There's a BL2~ wonder if the movies connect though... welp. My jaw/tongue is starting to hurt. Better shower! :D

Another BL run today since it was so peaceful at home lol Let's see what I finished today...
It looks like I only finished Junjou Pure Heart. Lol It was pretty cute but Kurata kinda annoyed me sometimes... Just finished Uncontrolled Love but can you believe it? I have to wait for Season 2 in Aug. ugh! and that's where all the cute parts areeeee! There's already released BTS for that; watched a bit before realizing. I ain't watching that yet! And I watched halfway through their really cute interview xD Wow... the actors and their personalities were opposite of their characters' LOL
They both sing too! Man, but stuff about them is so hard to look up....

Well, being on YT you look at all the recommendations. Woops, my list of movies to watch just got longer >x<

Anyway, gotta sleep bc tomorrow... gotta pull my wisdom teeth out ToT

Here's a little secret... I'm a ふじょし.
Hey, you might know it already xD I'm not into the hardcore BL, just the soft/innocent and pure ones keke but anyway, I just did a J-drama movie run (I realize I'm not really into drama. And the irony? It's because once it's over, it's over xD movies are just over faster LOL)

While looking for something short to watch, I happened upon 愛の言霊 (Can you tell I'm having fun with my Jap. input typing? lol) Ai no kotodama. I found the part 2, but there's actually a 1st version. So I went and watched that. It wasn't much, but wow. Their relationship was just soooo cute. Typical manga style, eh? (I mean, it is an adaptation xD) But I couldn't help squealing. I watched it on YT so expect recommendations lol and I found 禁断の恋 Kindan no koi. Wow... it was... weird lol such a twisted ending... besides that, the relationship was cute when they cleared up the misunderstandings~ Still, the movie made me cringe a few times. Reading the YT comments was funny.
Okay, y'all know I love love~ kisses are the cutest (okay not even me but Jo went and found a cute gay asian couple kiss compilation on YT LOL and I'm sorry but alotofthemweresupercute and then I came upon a compilation for cute pocky kisses and sorrythatwassupercutetoo *sparkly eyes*)

Desperately looking for English sub for Kimi no ita natsu zenhen > < This is probably really bad for me to watch on YT... bc I keep looking for more movies to watch! Sucks that a lot aren't on KissAsian. And of course not on Viki or DramaFever... Oh save me! I need to slow down on these videos xD
I actually have a lot of stuff to watch, but that doesn't seem like it'll happen lol I should though...

I'm a pretty random person lol. I was just reading through some old comments on this blog and I don't even remember half the things I wrote! ((and realized sometimes I didn't reply to the comments haha or maybe I did, on their blog xD)) but anyway, yesterday we tried to cook a Japanese styled omelette. It didn't go too well but it looked decent! At least I didn't burn down the kitchen lols. I want to make stuff now... how about desserts? keke
I had this dream today.. and it was weird because Robin was in it? or not...

I went to sleep "early" last night. I woke up when Jo climbed over me, and I believe it was like 5am? Well, that's what it seemed like. And when I opened my eyes, it felt like I hadn't slept. Then I woke up a few more times because we had early alarms. Eventually woke up around 10:30/11. I just caught up with ASC right now. ASTRO is so precious.

So many things I planned to do this summer... but only like 1/5 actually went through? Also I think it's because I have to do Coach's stuff... and when I'm delaying that, I'm sacrificing everything else I want to do haha... ha... Welp. Should really get goin'.
Did I mention my violin is still in tune? keke

Ugh I am so annoyed right now because I can't do one freakin' simple hairstyle. I'm already annoyed about not being able to braid my own hair. I was trying to do this hairstyle; it's just twisting! but NOO my stupid hair won't stop tangling itself. So I'm so annoyed right now and I pretty much took it out on my hair by combing through it with my hand so roughly that I'm pulling hair out. ((I don't know why but I've been kinda losing more hair than usual lately? Like when I'm showering...)) Anyway, that's not even the only problem. Why won't my hair freakin' grow already. and why the heck is it always so freakin' oily and smelly. UGH. So pissed right now... > >

On a side note, I finally keychain-ed my DOB "set" lols Used Mod Podge for the first time. It SMELLS. So I put like 2 layers of MP and then sprayed with fixative again. Hopefully the colors don't scratch off. I should use resin instead of MP. Resin is so much prettier~ and will definitely protect the charms. Too bad it's pretty $$, but I heard there's a 5g at Daiso. Just not at my Daiso... hopefully at the one in SF. The whole point of me making that DOB charm was because, yes 1. I really love Taeyeongie and DOB lol but 2. because I want to remind myself to do my best (aka, their name Do One's Best) and that they've done it; they've worked hard busking and finally get to debut. So that whatever I want to accomplish, I just need to do my best and eventually I'll make it.

Lately me and Jo have been dancing some hard songs so that the next day we are really tired/sore. Actually, it's usually just me because Jo doesn't even go all out. Tried working out but that didn't work. Plus waking up early to go to the park to exercise... well, when we get there we do some weak workouts so that didn't help. Pretty disappointed because I'm not losing weight or my belly fat. ((Well, WiiFit says I am. Just little by little. But I think I gained again :p )) Speaking of dancing, worries? Not really. Just been thinking about POLARIS. How can we hold this group up? We've all grown up and are hitting into reality. There's no time for petty things like doing covers... It's hard to meet up as is. Or am I the one overestimating the group? So I'm just wondering... will we never do any more covers but just to have a name to hold?
--
And a rant about the world. Which all started because of the recent news around the world, the drama in the K-world, and GOT7's controversy. Also, you might get angry from the following rant, and may even disagree with me. Feel free to skip this section :) 
((This applies to all fandoms and any other connections you can make, such as with friends etc.))
It's scary how one can claim to be a so-called fan, but the moment they're in some trouble, they're the first to turn their backs on them. How can one consider themselves a true fan if their first response would be to jump out of the fandom? So let's say your idol did something terribly wrong; wouldn't a true fan feel really saddened? Or maybe even anger, within themselves for liking someone who would do something wrong. And this anger is usually thrown back at the idol as hatred, but I guess it's case-by-case. Is it me or some fans, if not many, are still so delusional that their biases/idols are "perfect"? The question is: what human in this world is 10-10 perfect? Yes, let's not forget these celebrities are human, just like you and me. So what if Yoochun goes to an adult café? Is he not human? Is he not an adult? Sure, maybe he should've been more careful and maybe he should've made the choice of not doing such things because of his status as a public figure, but these humanly things he does should not be something to be criticized so harshly, to that degree at least. Would you stop being friends with someone because you found out they go to some kind of adult café? Why is it that people think they have the right to criticize the things celebrities do? You sit behind a screen and hide in a room for goodness' sake. And if he did do something so criminally wrong, well, we don't have the right to judge; we'll let the Court decide that and his punishment. But before he's even confirmed guilty, what right do you have to say he is? It's like saying he is because he's accused as such, whether he's really done it or not. Where's the justice in that? I won't even go into most of what I was thinking while reading about GOT7's drama. But the thing is, death threats? Okay, death threats in general. Why? What right do you, behind a screen who don't even know the supposed person personally, have to tell someone to die or kill themselves? First of all, life shouldn't be treated so lightly. Once a life's gone, you can't bring it back. And people suiciding isn't a first where, whoever that cyber bully was, came out to apologize. It's just always too late. What good is it that you've apologized? We've lost a life; someone's lost a friend, a daughter/brother, a lover, a family member. You can't replace that for them. Never. Yet one can easily go on the internet to tell someone to die. Oh it's not hard to die, I mean you can try since you encourage it oh so often, so please watch your words carefully. This all comes down to my opinion on: what makes fans think they have all the right in the world to pretty much control what their favorite celebrities can do? Okay, maybe you wouldn't like seeing a public figure smoking/drinking or with tattoos, but those are all something a regular person would do. Is there a rule that says they have to give all that up if they want to become an idol? Who knows. I don't know.
Then there's the world. Ah, yes. Where's the little bit of humanity and hope left in these beings we call, human? The shootings were uncalled for. Just all of a sudden. Yes, every single person is entitled to their own opinion. And one who values their own opinion should understand the principle of valuing others' opinions. Why must we force one's own values on others? Then where would the idea that every SINGLE person is entitled to their OWN opinion be? That is just unfair. So you might hate the LGBTQIA community, but they are not doing anything that is directly affecting your freakin' life, so why can't you just leave them be? Racism should also be long gone, yet why are people still being racist? Everyone understands that people are different, yet some still claim that their race or something are far superior. Oh come on. Have you taken your history classes and passed? There is no one race that is superior nor inferior. If I had to say it, even animals are more civilized in recognizing that no matter what species they are, no matter how different they look from themselves, they can still be friends. Are humans too "wild" to understand that concept? Let me also add this: yes, you're entitled to your opinion, but when voicing your opinion, it shouldn't be in a way that's insulting or degrading, not even subtly. Babies don't know what is racism; it is taught and it is learned. What happened to the "Golden Rule" we learned as children? Were they just for show?
"do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
I may not be religious, but just seeing/reading about all these religious problems, and even during history classes, I always wonder... what would God say about this? Every religion claims that their God is THE God, but why can't they respect other religions? Because didn't that one God create an alias for each race and religion in which life would make sense for each? God never preached to fight to make him "the only one." I don't know how religious people feel, like how strongly toward their belief is. But... the one who's preaching... it's a human. And... is it strange for me to think some people manipulate the wordings or even 'teachings' of their God? Some people like to use the Bible as a ways of attacking something unorthodox, and I'm over here thinking "I'm pretty sure that's not what he meant." 

Of course, this rant cannot be used as a description for everyone in the fandom/on the internet/in the world/of a religion. I'm just sick of all these ignorant cowards who voice their opinions like what they say is the only truth etc. And they're too stubborn to accept anything contrary.
Humans...

Oops didn't realize I wrote such a long rant *merong*

I woke up early this morning only to get annoyed at my dad bc of some stupid request/promise he made to someone. I was up around 8 and didn't go back to sleep 'til around 10:30/11? I kept waking up and sleeping again. Ended up getting up around 3? Then we went out to pick up the CRV from the Honda place, then to Costco and Winco. Finally getting home.
I had this throbbing ache on my right temple. I napped with mom before she left for work, and then I napped on the couch bc dad needed to sleep before work. Still a throbbing ache and then Jo gave me cereal. I wanted to eat pizza but it's already late~ gotta get up and lose this fat but omg no motivation...
Hanging out with the crew tomorrow. So much to do though... I want pizza.

Another year of fireworks. The dogs are still scared, but this year there wasn't as many (loud) ones so they were okay. Me & Jo sat with them for a while. We were gone for a few hours to drop off Jim at SF. They were happy to see us when we got back. Jo was getting out of the van and Reno came up; I thought he was just sniffing around until he tried to jump into the van! I had to sort of carry him off xD (only his front legs made it on) Then Bobby followed mom into the house omg XD my mom was mostly laughing instead of being mad since she knew they were scared of the fireworks lol.

I was really mad today. We were eating at my grandparents' place & like the typical dad he is, he starts to talk about the same stuff he always does. I ignore him. Eventually it just got on my nerves, (bc he kept saying to auntie that he didn't know we were going to eat at my grandparents') especially when he was talking to auntie about how he hold grudges and stuff. F*k that. I hold grudges too, you think you're all that? For goodness sake, why do you even bother to hold the grudges? I literally felt all my pent up anger about to explode; I really had the urge to hit him or something. I was about to get into a fight. So I just breathed until I felt dizzy. And then I just ignored him.

Uh ohs. I gained again. Hm. Sad. Jo said we shall run tomorrow, but who knows if we will? lol

"optimism in the face of insurmountable odds is a superpower we have" --Tablo@bornhaters/SC

Me & Jim were just talking about stuff regarding dad's way of thinking/expressing about/for our future. And I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea and also how I'm approaching life right now; and in the future.
~~
Today we went shopping & I got myself a watercolor paint set *insert laughing/crying emoji* It's one step to getting myself to practice using watercolor/calligraphy lols. Pretty happy with it, but kinda worried I won't use it either... 

I might enter SONAMOO's 1theK contest but I don't know lol the dance is... iyah, not too hard, but some tricky areas. Maybe I just need to practice more *shrugs*
Late nights are so bad for me... I really need to lose some weight; it fluctuates +/- 2-3 lbs (morning to night) Tonight is really cold~

I just found out I missed the freakin' cutest short film before Finding Dory. O.M.G. Piperrrrr. Man, now I gotta wait for someone to upload it... I also missed the ending after the credits *sigh*

HURRY & DO YOUR FREAKIN' TASKS YOU STUPID SHEEP! *sigh* I also really need to clear my windows (I have 4 open full of tabs, but all suspended) & clean my desktop... & edit some vids, organize etc.... wow so much to do. I should make a to-do list. I need to get my butt movin....

There's something about posting really late at night... when your thoughts are collected and you start to think... Things that should have been done but haven't been... Hm, well that's everyday haha

The other day we had our first practice for ICC at Meimei's & it went pretty well. Everyone got the dance pretty fast. I had a great time, other than when I felt slightly flustered; when I really wanted to help them figure out a part of the dance, only to realize I don't know the dance as well as I thought. Like I know it, but only to the extent of following the video. Without the video, I'm pretty lost. But this practice, we jumped right into formation. And it didn't go too bad. Hopefully, next practice will be better, to the point where filming is within reach :)

-- Now playing: ROMEO - 삐딱해봤더니 (mama) --

Wow I'm sore. The other day me and Jo were playing Wii Fit. I also practiced "ICC". Then we did Tiffany's leg workout. My calves... guess I just gotta keep working on them & see what happens. I woke up early this morning bc originally me & Jo were gonna go run at the park, but even at 7:30am, it was hot, so we didn't go. I woke up at 9am, earliest this whole summer break I think lols
It's already the end of June... & I haven't finished Coach's stuff! Iyah... I also called for an appt for my wisdom teeth... *cries* but the lady sounded really nice.
It was really hot today... and I ended up napping on the single sofa. I also tried out "Monster," and it's the only EXO song, I think, that I picked up really fast; even though it's still sloppy. I think I'm getting better at remembering moves :D Once you get the chorus, everything else was easy. At first I was trippin' over it. Then I tried "Oh No" because I should do a girl song at some point lol. I should do "L.I.E" too... hm.
Right now I'ma finish "Nightmare" though.
I'm tired.

TO-DO:
1. Work on POLARIS intro cut
2. YT icon & header

I guess we're going somewhere. Monsta X's cover is finally done edited and up! Now what's the next one to work on... keke U10's cover still needs to be re-uploaded due to that ugly bass. I caught up with most of the shows (I think). Me and Jo are not as itchy, but there's still a bunch of bites; we just use this spray that we went out to buy yesterday. I guess it helps. I still need to call the dentist... sigh.

POLARIS come back; wheeee~ we're planning dates and stuff so hopefully we can actually come back. Wondering if we'll have a comeback with Dae though... but she's always too busy with work. And when she is off, I'm sure she'd rather hang out with her other friends than spend a few hours practicing with us... But anyway, I really want to do "Just you" with the group because they're so underrated there will hardly be any covers. This song/dance is so upbeat, I want it to be a full 5-member cover~

-- Now playing: AOA - Give Me Love --

Oops I leagued a little too much lately hehe. These bug bites are killing me fuhhh. So many... as long as it's not bed bugs... These red dots make it look like I'm contagious or something.
I plan to sleep early but that never happens.

Yesterday I played Wii Fit, and surprisingly, I beat a lot of my old scores in the games lol I also did yoga and actual strength training. As of right now, my shoulders hurt; probably from the push-ups/boxing. I also finally recorded my cover. It didn't go too bad but it got really hot. I was also able to do a one take but not without mistakes haha. Also saw the famous skateboarding bulldog Picasso! He so cute haha Anyway, I did it in the morning at Weber Point. There weren't a lot of people except for some elderly taking their morning walk, people walking their dogs, and some homeless who stopped by to compliment. This is one of the better covers--of my 3 lol-- because I actually remembered the dance and the process of it was pretty typical of filming haha. Moving on! to the next covers, that I don't know what yet. ((Monsta X released their practice the day AFTER I FILMED MY COVER. whyyyy lol)) Yesterday I also met up with Jessica, Arianne, and Louegie to watch "Finding Dory." Very cute and touching :') After the movie we dilly-dallied for an hour looking for a ride since Arianne's mom wasn't picking up. We called for Uber/Lyft, and cancelled when Arianne's mom came to pick us up. Afterward, we called Lyft again to take us to BJ's. It was getting late. I won't mention how awkward it was with them two; though Dae denies there's anything going on, I think they hit it off already. But oh wells, not my business.

I need to stop waking up so late bruh. I don't want to do anything... it got cold tonight and it smelled like rain. I need to hurry up and finish Coach's stuff. Also, I guess I'm working on this bad habit of mine? where I have short-term memory loss lol and then I get annoyed 'til I remember. Well, earlier on my phone (on either Twitter, FB, or IG) I read a comment on a post about someone's Japanese single and I'm like hey I didn't know that. But then I couldn't remember what group. Also my collection of music. I think it's gotten better? I don't feel too annoyed if I don't get all the releases. *shrugs*
--
Curious about the title? Some things just happened today and the other day (not too big) but it got me thinking about myself, what I've done/been doing/should be doing. I hate myself sometimes. The reason why I get mad at my dad is because he's annoying or I'm annoyed already, but usually it's because I hate how I can't explain something to him or I can't translate it in Chinese.
I don't remember what it was he saying to my mom, but I told him we need to get him a hearing aid because it's causing us problems (rough translation from Chinese). It wasn't until I spoke it when I realized it sounded rude. It sounded like a rude Chinese youngster complaining about the disabilities of an elder; even though I didn't mean it that way. I was just keeping in mind this article I read about a marriage almost ruined because the couples were always arguing bc the husband misheard the wife bc he was hard of hearing. I was just thinking how much quieter the house could be, bc lately, I've noticed that my replies to him have already accustomed to a sort of yelling bc he can't hear. Just earlier, I got heated bc my mom won't let me vacuum the porch at 1am. I don't even know why I was. Not that I argued back bc I knew she was right about waking neighbors (maybe?), but I got really annoyed (not to mention I couldn't figure out that Japanese single).
The other day was with Jo. It's probably just because she's my sister that I can react this way. I had her take a look at the rough edit Jim did of my cover. I already knew there were problems here and there, but Jo has a way of putting attitude (or at least that's what it sounds like) in her words, even though to her, it's probably not attitude. She kept saying you shouldn't have worn white; why is your bangs like that; why did you tie up your hair like that; don't be a wimp in the sun (bc we were talking about doing a black version, but that I didn't want to be wearing black in the heat (even though I was in the shade)) and comments like that. The last comment was not one I minded bc it was like a joke. I got really annoyed when she said those to me, even though I had already noted all those things. When I retorted her, that's when she started replying with an annoyed tone. She was just stating what she thought (but hey, she's a little too blunt?) and here I was, giving her an annoyed attitude. After she finished she didn't say anything and left. I thought about it after a while. First, it was her "unintentional" tone in her comments that annoyed me. 2, she had to verbally state the things I already didn't like about the video. and 3, I was pretty proud of this cover and she made it sound like it's the worse thing she saw (exaggerated). Then I thought, well, that's what we joke about with other people's covers. I wouldn't react that way if someone other than family had made those comments.
To be honest, this cover made me even more aware and conscious of my body. I really really dislike it... but I tried to tell myself it's alright... it's alright... at least for this cover.
I'm also guilty of not helping out at home. I just don't know how to, but mostly it's because I don't wake up early enough; mom already done the chores. And she doesn't tell us to do this or that, and sometimes she just does herself. I don't know if Jo even has this guilt conscious; my guilt conscious trips me out a lot.

But yeah, so many things I regret doing and saying.
That's why I hate myself sometimes.

--Now playing: Steelo - Still Love --

Hm, I was really sleepy the other day and didn't want to do anything. I did manage to force myself to make a D.O.B. based keychain with Taeyeongie the next day, though it's not baked yet. At first I wanted Park Jin with Taeyeongie but I did not like how he came out. He kinda looks like Kaneki... lol. Wow I cannot wait for their debut~~ <3

Wednesday I also hung out with POLARIS, of course Steph is in Canadaaaa. We tried the moffles... nothing interesting. Just a waffle with ice cream... meh. We spent like 2-3 hrs gossiping and just catching up with each other. (Not even bc we were talking about other people LOL) We message each other too often that we're already caught up with each other LOL *insert laughing-crying emoji* But Dae was telling me stuff about Lollipop & omg my poor puppyyyy. #CSSSCougars4ever no matter what, I'm on his side. *cross arms & nods*
Afterward we went to the mall, but Mina and Jessie went home early. There wasn't anything else for us to do. So after we went to Victoria's Secret & chilled, we went home. Good day still ^^
~
Dateu you ask? No, not really lol. Looks like it, but I just hung out with Lee today. He came to pick me up, & us 2 lost kids went to the theater on West Ln. There was a detour plus earlier we weren't sure which way we were going, so I was in the car alone with him longer than if we had gone straight to the theater lol I still don't know why we didn't just go to the theater downtown... maybe bc TMNT was only 3D in the downtown one. But anyway, we definitely caught up lots. He talks a lot hehe ^^' I won't even mention what we talked about bc we really talked about a bunch of topics. I seriously thought it was going to be awkward, but it really wasn't :D He paid for the tickets (he laughed at me when I said to him "we're paying separately right?") It was kinda weird going to the theaters alone with him haha kinda reminds me of the time I went to the mall with Junior alone. Now that was awkward as heck. Afterward we went to T4, but not without spilling popcorn in his car first, oops LOL. To be honest, I really thought I'd be super embarrassed and get red, but I didn't get really flustered, maybe for the first few seconds. I paid for the drinks (when I was putting away the mini menu, he turned and looked like he was about to get up and asked me if he was supposed to just sit there and I nodded and said mhm), but it looked like he didn't like his drink? bc we sat and talked but while I drank mine, he only sipped a few here and there. We talked a lot too, and he told me his plans for the future, being registered at Full Sail U. (is that even legit?) and stuff. Well, at least he's planning something. He also talked about his work schedule and his work.
When he dropped me off, he asked me when school was starting. I told him and also that I'm leaving for San Jose at the end of July. He said to me, "Aug 30th is my birthday though." I can't believe he brought that up xD I kinda laughed as I was getting out of the car and said to him "I know!~ It's not my fault school starts then."
This dude... still a mystery 'til the end.
I came back and I was in a good mood ^w^ but I got a slight headache. I don't know is it bc hanging out with him stressed me out LOL Mom gave me some fried rice to eat but I really didn't feel like eating. I ate like 2 spoonfuls but didn't feel well. So I didn't really eat when I got back.

Wow it's really late now. Getting up early to do my cover. Originally I was supposed to do it this morning, but Jim woke up an hour earlier to use the restroom, thinking it was 6:30, but really, my mom's clock is still an hour ahead (or was it behind) lol. I was also feeling tired (since I slept late) but also bc these 2 days I've been having a weird stomach ache. Not even the I-need-to-take-a-sh* stomach ache; it's this churning and something-squeezing-my-insides feeling. And because of that, I woke up at 6:30 in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep 'til 8am. It was really painful. I guess I'm also not eating much? Maybe this "stomach ache" is telling me to stop eating so much LOL
Update on that weight loss? I'm losing weight but not so much following what I said I'd do lol
So yup. Still gotta make-&-bake the keychains and do Coach's stuff. Omg I seriously need to finish those ribbons before July. Steph is coming back soon~ so hopefully we can get our cover done too ^^

--Now playing: Prop Game - Welcome to the Dragon Circus (VIP)--

The weather has been getting cooler lately, but it's still pretty warm. I still don't want to do much. Watched "Love Keeps Going" with mom, kyaa it's cute, but wow much drama it's crazy. I finally pulled myself to work on Coach's stuff. It came out okay? but I didn't like the outcome much. So I took it apart. I also caught up with all the music performances. Wow. It sure takes a lot of time and energy, so I don't know if I want to do that again. Heh. Bad habits.

I swear to goodness, Birdy is like my idol (@itsbirdy/IG). He has a cool car. He can draw. He can make music. He skates. He's cute. He's Canadian LOL but ohmygah. I want to be like him. Bruh, he's literally self-taught in everything, like wow *heart eyes* I want to too, but the determination is not as strong as his... I give up so easily. Too easily.
Nana asked about these "dreams" I speak of. Are there really a lot? Hm. When I start to really think about it, no. I just have a lot of things I want to do, so they're considered dreams? Who knows. Main dream/goal: get a good, if not, decent, job at a studio (hopefully DreamWorks or Pixar). Other small dreams are working on my hobbies. I want to make more comebacks with POLARIS. I want to make music; I want to do well in piano/violin/guitar. I want to do calligraphy. I want to code.
Hm. So maybe it wasn't much, but thinking all that at the same time made it seem like lots. Yeah, I have lots of time, but the time goes to waste...

I have time now since it's summer. I have all these things on a (sort-of) to-do list, yet I'm unwilling to do them. I have yet to watch the things I say I need to... like "To Be Continued" & "Click Your Heart". *sigh* I watched quite a few SNL with Jonghyun though. I'm dead xD Which reminds me, I need to watch AOMG on SNL omg xD I've also been looking into really underrated groups including Underdog, M.fect, and CRA'BEAT. It's so hard to find their stuffs, I'm really about to buy Underdog's and CRA'BEAT's (prev. known as Uncloud) old songs/albums. Halp.

--Now playing: K-tigers - Here For You--

When I read y'alls blogs, I really want to comment on your posts. But then again, I don't want to add any unnecessary pressure, and it feels like I'm butting in all the time. And it seems weird(?) for me to comment through my blog here...

I'm about 2 weeks into my summer break. Can't really say I did much, but I did watch Angry Birds with Victor and Jessica. During the 1st week, I guess I did hang out quite a bit? Hung out with badminton members from Jim's year. Michael's done with the army it seems ^^ But yeah, I didn't want to waste too much money either. Come on, I'm trying not to be freeloader here.

It's the last weekend here at SJ before the first summer as a college student. Wing and Lovepreet already left yesterday WITHOUT SAYING BYE. Even after I told him not to leave without saying bye hmph. Well, at least he still snapchat-messaged me to ask me where I was, only to message me an hour later, which meant he already went home. Wonder if he's coming back... even though he told me he will... Then I messaged Lovepreet because he didn't say byeeeee ToT He said he might stop bye. Hmph.

Omgee Michael though, this afternooon *insert laughing-crying emoji* I had to message him for rice~ after an hour though, he didn't reply me but Bea was getting impatient. I didn't want to be rude since we're the one asking. We waited in the common room. After a while, Bea heard his voice and said "Michael! Riiiiice!" xD and he gave us a very exasperated--jokingly--smirk and sigh and gave us his 3 microwavable rice and said "This is all my rice!" and he asked us if we were out of food and Bea said yes we were and he was like awww xDD

We also did our little "photoshoot" haha it was kind of awkward lol but pretty fun.
So tonight us, Biri, and John went to watch "Civil War." Then we went to Amor. When we got back, we were going to go down to the Village Market so Bea can buy noodles but then John gave her curry so we just went down to get water. Luis was on duty so he asked us if we could do him favor. So we refilled his water bottle. Then he asked if we had any more dining dollars. In the end I offered to buy him stuff. He was like ooh yeah, anything you want, maybe like sour patches watermelon. it doesn't matter. Then I asked if he wanted ice cream. He was like yesss and he wanted the strawberry shortcake one. When we got back he was so excited because we got him food *insert laughing-crying emoji* I should've gotten food for the other two RAs. We always labor for him when he's on duty xDD (But before-hand, LeAnn told me to give her the ice cream to "prank" him, but really she wanted to take credit for buying ice cream for him? Maybe I took that negatively, but I mean, anyone seeing us handing him food would've thought she bought it, but hey, I bought that hmph. I wanted to hand it to him, but she wouldn't give it back to meeeee. Also, she was being stingy WITH MY MONEY and telling me to just buy him one or the other, like what the heck? > >)

Anyway, I also finally got Michael's snapchat, hence the rice message. Whew, that took so much energy and dugun dugun to ask LOL I feel like I asked it really rudely? but of course I didn't mean it that way. Kinda ordered him to add me? haha Hm, still didn't get Andres's snapchat....
Oh yeah, I've also moved stuff into our apartment from Jim's apartment. It was a difficult night LOL

EDIT: Luis just came up, and he said "whattup fam." SO WE'RE FAM NOW.

It's insane how lazy I am to blog. So much stuff happened these past few days. So many things running through my mind. Yet I can't bring myself to write about them.
It's probably the clutter on my desk, the clutter of tabs on my 3 windows, and the clutter in my mind.

I do like to come back to read what I've written though; always interesting.
Right now, I'm hating my phone because in low light, I get these rainbow lines. I went to Pitch, Please's concert tonight, and the videos I recorded look like when an old VCR is played, and instead of black and white tracking lines, it's colorful. Ugh, I hate how Samsung said the camera's good and all when it's not. It's been like that since I got it. I think it got worse though. It needs a check-up because I really don't want to need to get a new phone (bc technically, I don't).

Wow, in just a short time--maybe like 2 weeks--so much stuff happened? This is probably gonna be all out of order, but the interactions is the important things right? lol

Well, finally finished with everything Bio. I got a good grade on the presentation~ even though I stayed up 'til like 4 to work on the PowerPoint. I was really proud on how neat and organized I made it. Oh yeah, that night I was out in the common room with Michael. Since we're talking about Michael, I'ma miss him~ To be honest we only talked like twice the first semester. We didn't start talking again 'til the floor meeting, when he brought up how it's so sad that we're all leaving and whatnot. And then another night, I was out working on my portfolio and Biri asked him to help her on math. So he sat on the couch to the left of me and I was working. At one point he just slid down the table and put his head on the table. OMG HIS ACTIONS >///< That was too cute... and then he asked me if I had a deviantArt. And I said, yeah but that I didn't want to show him bc he said what is it and got his phone ready to look it up. I was like nuuuuu bc my arts suck but he still wanted to see. Okay, my dA is like all kid drawings xD I ended up opening my dA on my laptop and let him look at it. He was so supportive though OMG I'm dead. He's so niceeee TuT Another day, I was working on my cool still life. He just got back and was supposed to be doing math hw but he took many "breaks" and then finally I finished, around 4am? And then I went to sleep. That painting passed the 1st day! Wheee~
Also, one day after gym he was in the common room and Megan, Lehlani, Kirsten, Sarah, and KG were just roasting him xD it was so funnyyyy. He was like "Wow did I miss a poster that said Roast Michael if you see him?" LOL Oh yeah, the Running Man challenge. Okay so after the meeting he brought up wanting to do the RM challenge with the floor, so I suggest to do it at the floor party. He was like naww. A few min. later he brought it up again, so I said "just do it at the party" and he was like 'okay, I'm down for it (if you are? I don't know if he said that, but he said something about me)' So then that day, "roast michael day," the song played & he & KG automatically did it. Then he called me out, saying that we should do it during the party (or that I wanted to do it). I was flustered to answer bc HE KNOWS MY NAME lolol but I was like "nu uhhhh you wanted to do it; I just suggested to do it at the party" and he said "bc you said it." HMPHHHH lol
Another time, a while back, me and Bea were coming back from the DC. He and a few other people were in the common room. My hands were full, so Bea opened the door for me but it rebounded from her toes and the door slightly hit my arm & I made this weird sound and he looked up like you good? lol and then me and Bea kinda laughed it off xD I only saw him pfft. Well, that pretty much rounds up him? haha

Oddly, I stayed up til like 4am 2 days in a row.... don't even know why. Painted outside yesterday for ANI14. Last day of class on Thursday~ :(
Over the weekend, I went to Jim's and met up w/ Jen & we had Korean fooood~ spicy chicken and tteokbokki w/ ramen. Then I stayed over at Jen's. Then we went home for a night and Jen was so sleepy when driving back omg she such a bad driver lol. We got back and started cleaning xD (also, I was lecturing Jen the whole way home haha) but yeah, when we left, I grabbed my camcorder. So these past days, we were recording lots. John even took it to film some people, but he's so bad at filming & he was asking about his first impressions *rolls eyes*
LeAnn also brought up hot pot with hyung. Hyung was like Oh yeahhh, I forgot. and mentioned how it's pretty $$ to hot pot, so we changed to pho I guess. He was like just let me know when since we didn't decide yet. He's moving out Friday and coming back Monday for his last final T^T man, everyone leavinggg I cry...

Also Steph is coming this Thursday~
I bought Los 5's EP omg I can't believe I did haha. I just messaged Juan Pablo on snapchat and asked him if their #NoMicTake1 series songs will be officially released and he said yes in the future! Wheee! Happy~ & yes, he does reply on SC msgs~ Omg Los 5 makes my day when they just play around on their SC.
Anyway, I should be finishing my painting and portfolio.... peace!

So I was sort of caught up, and now I'm not ahaha. Nothing new so far (I'm learning how to keep my posts short ;) be proud of me~)

It's almost 3am & I have class at 9. Keel me nowwww. I wasn't very productive over the weekends? Well, I did finish my bio but that was about it. I still have a bunch of stuff to do. I went to watch "The Boss" with Biri on Friday. Saturday I went out with Josue, and he treated me to Old Spaghetti Factory (his cute friend works there! haha) We also went to Muji before we dropped Biri off work & heading to OSF. Muji's hiring! I was pretty excited bc I was so down to work there lol. I even started on my resumé when I got back to the dorm. Writing one was harder than I thought...
I maybe should start stressing over ANI14? But I have been doing pretty well, I mean I never got lower than a 70. *shrugs* Still, the homework's about piling up now.

On Tues I really was in a sort of bad mood bc first off, I got some bad comments on my pear paintings (not like I never got bad comments, but that day, those comments really irked me) and then Steph tells me that the really nice 360Res unit was gone. And then I sorta started stressing? Not really... but anyway I was really down. Not to mention I had to get to ANI1 early bc we were having an extra credit screening before class. I got to class and there were a lot of people going in and out, so I just held the door open. When the 'masses' started thinning out, this dude stood in front of the entrance next to me and offered to hold the door but I said it was okay and that he could go first. So he went in but then turned back to ask if I was in the class. I nodded and he was like "ohhh! then come in come in!" (I don't really remember word for word, but he was really nice) He insisted on holding the door open--from the inside LOL so I scurried in so he didn't have to awkwardly hold it open. He said to me as I passed by something like wouldn't want you to be stuck outside if you have class. That kinda lifted my spirits. Oh yeah, there was also an Earth Day event with a petting zoo. Soft bunniessss~

On Wed, Jen & Jim came over and took me to do my observational lab field thingy. We made friends with a Canadian goose! It was right next to me keke. It was really hot that day. Afterward, we went to the mall & did some Mother's Day shopping. There was also a Brookstone! We spent a lil' over $200? I wonder if we're returning the massageeee thingies for cheaper on Amazon...

Haven't gone to the gym last week I don't think... LOL. Today I went to the library to study with KG, Biri, and Paola. To be honest, I didn't do anything really, so yeah, technically I wasted my time. But the fun thing was, when we were going there, we got a lift on the UPD cart. When we were leaving they wanted a lift but KG asked for an escort so we got a walking escort. He was pretty nice, pretty chill. It was kinda awkward walking back with him but he was chatting with KG. I didn't have much to eat today. I had my leftover chicken breast with canned ravioli for lunch at around 3? with Quickly. Spent time watching Qmentary--> Omg I died xD & was also Skyping with Jim. And then left for the library around 8:50pm.
At the library Meimei HAD to send me fantaken photos of FREAKIN' WEI WITH SMOKY MAKEUP. I ALMOST DIED. HE WAS WINKING TOOO WINKING I TELL YOUUU sigh. lol

Oops, falling behind again hehe.
This week went faster than I hoped I guess?
Well, for ANI14 homework we had to do 10 tonal drawings w/ our Tombow dual markers. I did them all the morning of class. Uli said it was good & he couldn't find anything to say to me & he said "I have to tell you at least one thing...." Other than drawings being off and reflected light is too light, he said I did really well ^w^ I think that made my day.
And then there was Jobee's talent show performance.... AT LUNCH. I still don't get it... *shakes my head*

One day I went down to eat sushi after class, and before my 6:30pm class. (When I got out of ANI14, I was going to take the elevator, but I saw Joey too late & I was so awkward avoiding the elevator--I walked out and back in after they left. phew. So I ended up taking the next elevator w/ "jawline"--this dude that has a really nice jawline according to Bea lol)
I was peacefully eating when this dude suddenly sits down in front of me and asks me about blind date advice. Uhm, ahaha, awkwardly we talked. I couldn't give him much advice that he didn't already know. He was really nice still I guess? He's a junior, but he talked so shy? Anyway I haven't seen him (& even if I did, I prob wouldn't even recognize LOL)

Amy and I also went back to hip hop for Jonny's workshop. Dude it was so scurry bc it was all his Syndicate friends TuT and it was super windy that day, my eyes were so dry & we were all freezing LOL

---
Yesterday was Admitted Spartans' Day & Steph came over w/ her mom, aunt, & sis. It was kinda awk? lol I kinda gave them a sort of tour but I think I failed LOL. Psh, Steph even left me w/ her mom & aunt alone (when I guided them to use the restroom). After ASD, we ate and went apartment scouting w/ Biri. I really like the one at 360 Res., though it's a lil' far by walking, but I think we'll get use to it. Also, Thirst Tea is hiring!? *sigh* I'm too scared to ToT but what's the worst?
We ate at Johnny Rockets; ate a lil' too much. I've been going to the gym w/ KG on Mon, Wed, & I guess Fri now too. And I just ate all that back... *sigh*

Also, I haven't had time for DTA's and stuff ToT
U10 comeback~ <3

*Right now I'm listening to my blog's music, listening to the piano version of Winter Blossom. Ah, memories. Can't wait for Season 4~*

Anyway, a lot of stuff's been happening I guess? This past weekend I stayed over at Jen's place in SF. I've been working out with KG, starting last Wed. Only Wed. though since I'm busy every other day. Maybe Friday... but I went with her this Monday too. She's training me ^^ I'm weak but at least when she's training me, I force myself to do it. It's not like it's unpleasant, but in the case with Bea, I won't force myself because, well, it's Bea! Lol.
Hyung also brought some bad news hmph. He's leaving SJ and going to a community college in Tracy. He wants to transfer to a UC, & it's easier from a community college... I was so sad :(( but I mean, he's doing what's best for him. He said he's been losing weight, about 6-7lbs since he was here. Poor hyung...

Yesterday my classmate took me & 3 other girls to Palo Alto Baylands for our field trip. It was pretty cool I guess. We saw a very pretty Annas Hummingbird ^^ Remember that funny (but not so funny) dude in my lab class? Nothing 'bout him really lol he's just taller than I thought LOL

Also, Luis. Omgee lol we've been kinda really, friendly? lately, I guess. He just casually comes into our room when our door is open haha just twice really; he came in last night. Kinda more comfortable with him now though so it's good. ^^

I wanted to sleep earlier lately... it almost worked? Uhm, but I slept late last night because I spent so much time after lab catching up on performances > < sheesh too many comebacks, & more to come! Then gym-ed. So when I got back to the dorm & showered, it was like 930? And when I started my homework, I ended up finishing around 230. I finished the rest this morning. I didn't wake up as early as I wanted to though.
Something that bothered me last night: Biri was going to get off work late, & she wanted a sandwich so asked LeAnn/Bea to get it. Bea kept dilly-dallying, asking if she'll make it in time since there's like 15min left. We said she could, but she just kept making excuses. In the end they said that actually, they would have already cleaned up. I was just thinking, what kind of friend wouldn't go get food for them? instead of making excuses -.- I know she can't really say no, I don't want to go get it because that's mean, but she could've just changed & attempted or something instead of making all these excuses. Sigh.

POLARIS is having a comeback this summer! Hopefully it actually goes through this time haha. I really want to comeback... <3

Thanks Minar! <3

Anyway, hyung hyung hyung.
Yesterday when I was going to class, I left at a time when there were only guys waiting for the elevator (luckily, Biri ended up coming too). So when I opened the door, I was really surprised. Hyung was the closest to the door & he boo-ed me; I was really taken aback x2 LOL. It was Travis, Josh & Andres, & Hyung waiting. When I got there, the elevator had just come. I held the door open for Biri & hyung starts saying to Andres & Josh about how I'm a junior standing academically omg hyung even I don't brag about myself LOL & when we were in the elevator he was like "her sisters go to like Berkeley and... Davis?" *looks at me* so I awkwardly nod LOL. I was kinda standing next him--not close (he's left of me)--& behind Andres with Josh next to him. Biri stood behind Josh & next to me (it's like a square, us 4. in my point of view can you imagine it? LOL)
Josh was the only one still listening to hyung LOL. Hyung also mentioned, I guess my major? but I didn't say anything. He said something like "....art.... that's talent." I wasn't really listening, all I saw was Josh nodding & with his usual smirk LOL I am so dead ahahaha all my favorite people in an elevator. Okay, he stops talking when we hit like the 9th floor I think.
That is just so awkward LOl does he have to bring up my standing everytime I'm with him & other people? pfft.
well I mean *shrug*

Originally I was going to write a pretty long post after thinking so long on the drive back to SJ (yes, I'm back in SJ), but my mood went up so now I don't feel the need to, though I guess I have a few things to share?

I think I should've had an "emo" phase.
To be honest, I'm very much a 'happy virus' ya know? I'm super optimistic & peppy, for the most part. But the con of that kind of personality is, once you're sad/depressed, it's extreme sadness. I mean, it balances right? Being extremely happy all the time just means being extremely sad when your mood drops. So I kinda wished I had an emo phase. I almost did, but I think it was very short & temporary. Once I'm feeling down, I just lose all motivation and just, desire to do nothing at all; including not going to school etc. (not to the point of not wanting to live though). There's just no more desire of anything... and I'm just spaced out for a while.

I was mad/sad/annoyed/lost all at the same time.
I wish I never found out... never found out that the black hard drive in our room was not ours. To find out that it's possible my dad returned OUR hard drive because he thought it was his. We're hoping for a possibility that maybe ours is placed elsewhere, but the chances are pretty low. It had all our backups to old memories and whatnot. Imagine not getting any of those back... I can't. Too many emotions spilled out at once. I didn't know how I should be feeling. What's the right emotion to feel? Yes, I'm always annoyed at my dad & I'm sure I've written posts about how much I disliked him (mostly his actions; "hate" is a strong word). Yes, everyone makes mistakes. And so what? Once it's done, it's done. There's nothing that can be done to bring it back. There's nothing arguments can do to bring it back. So why bother? I don't even know... He didn't do it on purpose, yet we want someone to take the blame. The way we treat him? It's not right, we know that. But in our standards, what he's saying. Doing. It's not right. Yet in his standards, it's all good. Who's correct? Or, he just doesn't know. [No, I did not have an argument with him over the hard drive.]

I usually don't know when I'm stressing.
Because I don't feel like I'm breaking down, or need to. And it's not like I keep things to myself; I let it all go in my blog. I'm not telling someone, but I'm telling something I guess you could say. Times when I know I'm stressing is when I suddenly feel like I won't get something done, or that I'm straining myself so much that I want to cry yet don't want to. It's also when I feel so overwhelmed that I don't know what to do. Lists of things to do is what keeps me straight, calm-minded, and clear. Kind of. But things just pile up and become really stressful. Sometimes, they're not important. Not important things that stress me out is keeping up with my favorite groups on music shows, special music shows etc, shows, SNS, V app etc. What used to stress me out was saving every single pic of my babs from tumblr (that means going through hundreds of pages on various tumblr fanpages), and I finally broke that bad habit, though it occasionally comes back when I get hooked to a new group--though I keep telling myself they're not needed. I think a new thing (not really) that is stressing me out is knowing if I have every released album/single/song from artists, sometimes going all the way back to their debut. To be honest, will I listen to the old albums? Most likely not. Maybe sometimes I would want to listen to an old song or two. I'm trying to break that bad habit right now. Important things that are stressing me out are everyday homework, apartments for next year, money, and jobs.

I don't even know.

--
Well there's my rant of the day... I should really find a good cry. 
I took the opportunity of LeAnn & Bea not back yet so I cleaned my table. I need to buy a bookshelf stand...? I love being in the dorm by myself~ So much freedom.

*A happy tidbit of the day: I got to eat crêpes with Steph, Mina, & Jessica. Then we had K-bbq. I was so full omg my tummy was sticking out so much (also bc I've been eating well at home).
Time to work out a lil' here & there. Time to go back to hip hop (soon). Time to learn all my babs' new dances~ (oi, I really cannot get stressed out bc I haven't watched a bajillion different shows and cuts of my babs ToT)

Well. It's time for me to sleep. My head is itchy > > Also, I'm typing in the dark. The cpu screen is gonna be sooo bad for my eyes >.<

Spring break has started for me! I've been too lazy to update though. Last week Wed, I had no class so Jim & them picked me up to go to Santa Cruz. Funny thing is, Hyung snapchat-messaged me when he found out I had gone to Santa Cruz; what a surprise! Haha he sent me a pic of him pouting & said 'cool invite' awwwh haha too cute. So I told him it was bc he was in class & he said he just got out -.- but too bad! xD Psh, it's not like he never goes :p PLUS it's not like I would've invited him on a family trip xD

Wow I am so lazy to update. I have homework due when I get back from break but I realllyyy have no motivation to work... I'll continue about Santa Cruz & SF later. I still have a week's or 2's worth of update but gahhh too much to write! Even though I think they're all worth remembering... I texted pretty much every encounter to Steph ahahaha but my messages might delete if they get too old...

Needing to keep up with my everyday moments... it does stress me out. I'm probably going to take a break from blogging... Don't know when I'll be back though. Hm.
Right now watching "Office Girls" with mom. Once again, started in the middle lol. So many dramas to watch, I can't. -sigh- Still need to catch up on last week's performances.
Well, peace out! Probably won't see me for a long time.

I just caught up with Minar's & Meimei's posts. I think I almost cried when I was read Minar's post about the package <3 I just really hope that it didn't give her any kind of pressure... 'cause I mean, I can think of 2 ways she can respond to it. *shrugs* I dunno.

I am so tired this weekend. I think I still have last week to post about... anyway it was a crazy weekend! haha I really need to do homework.. presentation tomorrow, test Wed. Lots of stuff due for ANI14... Not too bad. But I want cup noodle right now LOL

Well, I gotta work on the other posts some other time, by then I'd probably forget all the details (though I don't want to forget the interactions hehe)

Woops. I was driving sort of reckless today haha but no one got hurt! lol We sort of cleaned up in the morning then went out to buy Taco Bell for Jobee's lunch. We cleaned up some more at home. When Jo got home, we went to Wal-Mart to buy her notebook. I drove on the freeway. Gosh Jen being picky about my speed limit xD
Woke up early this morning, & happened to come up with so many theories for 24K's "Still 24K" MV LOL

Going rafting in Sac tomorrow! Coach asked about the bows, but I wasn't even close to done x'D Jim helped a bit, my slight OCD didn't allow me to let her do it LOL. After we finished the green set, I started on the yellow set while trying to finish Antique Bakery (K-drama). I did all 8 pew bows by myself. They all looked better than the green set that we finished, probably because I was on a roll~ & the 2nd glitter tulle I used wasn't as stiff and "sticky" as the 1st one I used; a lot softer. So the yellow bows definitely looked nicer. I finished in like 2hrs? Around 1am. Technically not done because I still need to tie the bows to the front; but I'll do that in the car tomorrow.

Welp. Jo is over here memorizing the 1st Amendment for journalism lol I will finish my drama finally~ while Robin is trying to figure out what to do because he wants to hangout before I go back to SJ. Lee needs to come by to pick up his keychain.... hm. Why do guys only take me to movies? LOLOL

--EDIT--
It's almost 3am right now & I just finished the drama! Omg the ending was really good~ well, better than the anime's ending. There was some explanation. Some translations that didn't really make sense in the anime, made sense in the movie (the scenes were pretty much identical).
I really like the café's interaction with each other when they found out he saved the kidnapped kid and he himself was fine; that was like some amazing friendship/acquaintance <3 Jinhyuk lets them have a group hug, but the group hug went on for too long that he pushed them off. As soon as he turned around, he ran! lol and the other 3 chased after him; that was so cute~
Apparently Jinhyuk was homophobic (as shown in the anime, since the drama didn't really say but hinted), and it's known that Sunwoo is afraid of women, and we also see that. At the end Sunwoo gave Jinhyuk a hug while greeting these 3 school girls who regularly come to the café; I really love how they both changed after going through everything together--Jinhyuk was less homophobic and Sunwoo was getting more comfortable around girls.
I think my favorite part was when they spent Christmas together; Jinhyuk says 'merry christmas' to them secretly outside the store & pretend to be all cool and stuff when they were celebrating. (Also when he went to make deliveries & he told them to be good boys & watch the store, Gibeom and Sunwoo gave him such cute smiles and waved him off <3)
It's crazy what a little makeup and new hairstyle could do. Seriously, when I watched the beginning, I was like these guys aren't cute & these aren't the same people... right?. After watching the ending, and they had school flashbacks, I realized the people were the same xD
Gibeom looked like Eric Nam when I first saw him; such a cutie. Guess who it was? Yoo Ah-in xD The child actor for young Jinhyuk was Yeo Jin-goo & wow, he's actually a pretty well-known actor now, too. (His wiki picture wasn't cute though) & Ju Ji-hoon, who played Jinhyuk reminds me of Road Boyz's Maca in some pics haha & Kim Jae-wook reminds me of Kangnam, especially at some angles in the movie.
Well, I shouldn't over-analyze or -comment about the drama. I think it was overall really good (except for some creepy/exorcisy effects... hehe...) <3 <3

Today I went out to Bon Mange with Jessica, Jessie, Steph, and Meimei. Afterward we went to Marshall's. There wasn't much to do so we eventually went home pretty soon.

School is starting soon; Jo is going to school tomorrow! So fast. I'm going soon too /cries. Guess no cover. Jim is coming home tomorrow nightttt~ (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
I stayed up a little too late saving and looking up info on Dynamic Chord, which of course would lead me to different stuff. I happened upon Eight of Triangle, and their song "Adagio" is my favorite. I found them on Spotify today, and when I pushed play, it was the first song played! :D On a side note, Dynamic Chord's BGM is really nice. I only heard one, but I'm pretty sure all the other BGM are up to par~ wonder if they'll release some kind of BGM soundtrack CD...
So many albums/singles I want, but seems like Hikarinoakari won't have it or will be slow with it (when I will forget about it). But yeah. I have such a wide range of music taste....

--EDIT-- 1am
I just finished watching "Antique Bakery" (anime) & damn. The cakes looked so yummy! I seriously love vintage cafés/coffee shops. Why is it so hard to find oneeeee? Anyway, it was supposed to be shounen ai, but it wasn't much too be honest. It was only a little bit in the beginning, then it turned to wow cakes story, then leading to a traumatic kidnapping lol Overall I think it was pretty good, though it was really slow. I'ma watch the K-drama, but apparently, the J-TV series focused mostly on the bakery and their traumatizing backstories, so I'm not watching that. Really love the OP & ED too 

I woke up kinda late today. Watched Massugu ni Ikou, both seasons. They're cute lil' episodes & I cried at some parts, especially at Gen's episodes. It really gives you a dog's perspective, but how accurate it is. Well, who can say. I think I'ma go watch DRAMAtical Murder later.

I don't even know where to start haha Lessee. Well, where I left off; Nancy came to pick me and Jo up for badminton at SF. It's been a while since I've played~ still getting those corner shots ;D but still missing my drops hmph. Afterward we ate thai food. It was too late for desserts and Tong was already so tired. We packed up the cats and we came home.  2 days later we ended up going back to SF with them for the weekend (which was Wed-Fri).

-The night of Wed, there wasn't much to do but Jen took us to Mr.T café for "dinner" lol It was really cold and we were wearing shorts. We had to grab my camcorder from the car so we had to fight the wind and climb uphill lol
-Thurs. we woke up early bc Mocha was being loud and hungry, smacking her crunchie bag so we were up around 9:30. Pitch black in the room & Jo thought it was 6am LOL we went to Mr.T café for breakfast and I got my sea salt iced coffee. Mmm~ at first it was very bitter, almost like black coffee. After mixing it and letting it sit, it didn't taste as bitter. The after taste still tasted like black coffee though. I have a thing for coffee... lol Then we played at the playground. First time on see-saws! Jobee fell off omg that was hilarious xD and we did "practice" covers. When Jen got off, we went to play badminton. We get to see Jim's favorite "Benjamin" coach lol. Bc it was only us 4, we were going a little crazy. Apparently when 3 of us fell on the floor laughing, he and his assistant coach ((correction: apparently not assistant coach lol)) laughed at us. *shrugs* He was bored teaching his lil' beginner students; we were his only entertainment. He stared after us when we left o.o We had sushi for dinner~ Mmm~ I could barely finish my udon. First time eating raw fish too. I think it was salmon? But it was thin slice. We also took out dessert from Sweet Indulgences~
-Friday we didn't wake up as early. Mr.T café wasn't open. Did we eat anything? I can't remember. I only remember we drank soup. Then we went out to film my "Emptiness" cover. It was kinda rushed. Jen got off work early and brought us boxed sushi and bibimbap. Eating while dancing keke. After we finished, we headed off to Japantown~ Rushed around to different stores, trying not to waste time. Didn't buy stuff in the beginning. Nothing to buy at Daiso... we tried the Dragon's Breath and was pretty disappointed with it. Other than tasting like Froot Loops, the fog didn't last very long. And it was hard for me to puff much fog like other people (bc I don't vape! lol) It was cool at first, but we didn't even finish half of it before the fog was all gone. Of course, other than the vape, that thing was probably not worth the 4.99 (we got the small one). We looked at Kinokuniya and Maido (really good felting set was $20! > <). Things were too $$$. I wanted a purikura but after taking a look inside, I had a 2nd thought bc it actually was "too much" I guess you could say. We also bought a crepé but we should've gotten the animal one instead of Sophie's crepé :p Next time. We went downstairs to Kinokuniya's manga/anime part of the store. I got... so... tempted... I spent around $30-40 on a box of Uta no Prince-sama's posters, 3 keychains - one from Tsukiuta and another from K-project. Eep. They were pretty much $8.99 each. The poster box included 2 posters (if you realize that most anime merchandise are limited edition, it was a pretty good deal!)

*[After opening them, I'm quite happy with what I got; except for the K-project one. And Jim chose that one. She wasn't having a very lucky day LOL my Uta no Prince-sama, I got Syo and Ranmaru. I really wanted Ai, but luckily Ranmaru was my #2~ lol. I think I'm destined for pink; for Tsukiuta, I didn't really have a favorite other than wanting Rui bc Shouta voiced him, but I got Koi~ he's pink-haired and born in Feb~ I kinda wished I got another poster box instead of the K-project keychain... but eep! I want more! >x<]

We drove to Oakland bc that's where Dad picked us up. I drove the rest of the way home when we hit Tracy. I think it's been awhile since I've sat in my dad's car; it was so jerky. I had fallen asleep on the ride home and I just know my head's been lolling in every which way. 
~
Jo's going back to school in like 2 days. Me, another a week or so. Kinda not ready? *shrug* Still debating over 12u or 15u. 4 ANI classes... I don't know if I can do it... It definitely means no job for me. I don't want to overestimate myself... I'm always thinking about my future... how it will be. I want it one way, but I always doubt that it'll happen. I surround myself with people who are really good and who are really into it to motivate me. Half the time, it just tells me I don't have the same passion as them; I can't do as well as them bc I don't have the talent & obviously too lazy to have the skill (well, it's just coming really slow). But since I chose this path, I guess I'll just have to see what lies at the end of the road. Just one day... I hope I get to realize all those lil' big dreams I have. Just one day... I hope all this money and time spent at school was worth it.
So little time but I need to meet up with POLARIS and gotta finish up Coach's stuff. She just messaged me today to ask me to felt her a penguin couple for her cake table. I also messaged Lee about his keychain & I guess he's picking it up some time. Another busy weekend ahead bc apparently I'm going rafting on Saturday. Still need to accept my finaid...
It's amazing I remembered so much still.

I don't want to be an adult yet... sigh
--
On a side note, I want to watch that J-drama Minar watched. I keep telling myself I need a good cry & I still haven't gotten it! I still need to watch Hachiko Monogatari. 

So apparently my hives were because I pretty much overheated? lol Steph took me to SJ yesterday & the weather was a lot cooler. By the end of the trip, all my hives disappeared. I woke up this morning & they were permanently gone.

Me and Steph were accidentally matching! <3 lol When we got to SJ, we set up her bed frame and stuff. Then we waited for KG & went to get crepes with Biri too. It was really filling; not too sweet. Then we went to catch Pokemon on the way when we went grocery shopping with Biri. Steph's sister came to pick us up and we went to iTea. I'm still pretty full lol. We went to the Great Mall. After Marshall's, we went to Daiso. I think I splurged again. It's already 9pm and we went to a plaza for dinner, had shawarma for the 1st time. I got a pita bread one and I had to eat slowly. They had to wait a little bit for me lol It was pretty good. Then we went to Honey Berry because her sister wanted roti buns. Dude, the place smelled so good~ My hair ended up soaking it up.

I ate so much that day. Since I've only been eating mostly congee, I think my stomach was slow at digesting. I was so full still. Fell asleep on the ride back. Woke up when we gassed up. Thought we were in Stockton, but nope lols.
Going to SF tomorrow for badminton, wheee! :D

Today I finished 3 more bows for Coach. I also want to start crocheting. I bought UV resin, crochet hook, and a letter set at Daiso yesterday lol Fought with moths again after we fixed the vacuum cleaner. We had to unscrew the back bc we weren't able to remove the hose bc it was really stuck. Mom vacuumed a glove so it was clogged. We vacuumed a lot of moths but when we finished, more appeared > > War pt3 tomorrow...

Well, okay. So the moths haven't avenged LOL It's really just hives (urticaria) that I got.

This is ridiculous. How am I supposed to manage these red bumps? Usually appearing for no reason... fading in less than a day... appearing where it wasn't minutes before. These things fade with no need for medication (usually within a few weeks) so there's really no medication for them. Also, you can't pinpoint exactly why hives break out. A lot of times it will just appear. Other times; well, there are a few factors depending on the type of hives. Acute urticaria lasts for less than six weeks and can be caused by chemical or allergic reaction by certain foods & medications, and/or sunlight exposure. While I don't think it was any foods I ate, I just recently had medications. Apparently, a drug that can cause hives include painkillers such as codeine. Specifically, the painkiller I had for my wisdom teeth extraction had codeine (I believe). There's also physical urticaria, which is direct physical stimulation of the skin. Heat, sun exposure, sweating, and exercise included. I list those because I got this the day after we went out to water front. (Also, that night, me & Jo exercised the hell out of the dances & I was sweating a lot. Not to mention, it was pretty hot in the house & I was waging war with a vacuum cleaner.) However, physical urticaria occurs right where the skin is affected, yet mine is all over the body.
As you can see, hard to pinpoint.

Hives are a response to histamine, chemical released from your blood vessels. And all those factors I mentioned will cause histamine release.

There's really no treatment so I have to wait it out. I hate thissss.

*info gathered at webmd.com

Forreals there's a ridiculous amount of these lil' moths flying in the back room. The other day I waged war on the moths & was vacuuming them up. I woke up to find myself full of red splotches? While the red areas on my stomach had receded, leaving only red spots that itch a lil', my arms have really itchy red spots. The kind that if you scratch it, it will spread into a bigger spot. I guess they avenged their fallen comrades last night... -.-
Only to find out a lot more has come back, but the vacuum cleaner broke so I couldn't wage the 2nd war. Jo says it might just be our bed... I dunno.

The other day Victor drove me & Jo to the waterfront to catch Pokémon. It was super hot. It was really awkward too... Jessie, Bea, & Kathy met with us. I felt kinda bad that I talked more with them than Victor and Rayven, but he knows how I am. We also saw Orion and Kong! I'm not as shy around Orion I guess? Aigoo~ we went to say hi to Kong, but it was awk... I didn't think it would be >x< Jo & Kathy went to get Starbucks~ Afterward it started to cool down and a lot more people were coming to the waterfront. He took us home bc I had told him I needed to be home before 8.

Omg. Someone needed to save me. Out of the blue the other night, Armand decides to message me on IG and MAN was it awkward. He was all like "we should all hang out one day" (meaning w/ Bea & other old friends, as he puts it). He wanted to "reconnect with old friends" but bruh... it's been like 5 years? And I've never talked to you... and then today the convo took a weird turn. I really didn't want to be rude but I didn't know what to say...? I didn't want to meet up 'cause bruh, that's awk. This made me scared to go on my IG ToT All bc I posted that pic...
Well, that pic on FB also got Lee commenting LOL I didn't think he would? Also, I kept telling myself I need to hit him up, but I can't bring myself to text him >///< When he commented, it sounded like another "time-to-hang-out" time. It kinda relieved me from my IG anxiety. Then I started thinking... I would probably have wanted to rant to him, kind of thing. If we were closer.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say lol On his comment, I still can't get over how he 'lols' so easily now. Forreal... he never really 'lol'ed when we first messaged xD It sure took a while...
~
Whee! Going to SJ w/ Steph tomorrow (today)~ I should really sleep or else I won't be up LOL I was gonna watch a short BL I found on YT this morning, only to find out it got taken down. And I didn't even get the name down ToT all I know is that it's Chinese... and that the whole movie is about this dude who dreams about his love relationship with his friend(?) but the end of the movie is that, that friend of his goes out with a girl. Wtfudgeeee it was only 30min or sooo. I hope whoever uploaded it re-ups it. Hmph.

Oops just finished Tokyo Ghoul. Wow. That 1st season ending though. Can't believe it's almost 4am *insert laughing crying emoji* Finishing that anime was pretty fast, or so it seems. Why do some anime feel like they take longer? lol I don't know why I'm still sweating. Why is it so hotttt > >
I really love Uta-san's voice~ Seiyuu being Takahiro Sakurai~ he voiced a lot of the animes on my to-watch list xD and a few BL animes too~ LOL

I used a blackhead strip on my chin... and now there are visible blackheads. How annoying.

I finished saving a lot of Park Jin photos.... crazy me. Now I can do ASTRO's and U10's, though I feel like I'll be lazy. I need to finish the bows tomorrow too, hope it doesn't take long. I also drove Jo to the library. After the library, we walked to the waterfront. There were so many trainers there LOL there was a cute Asian guy! He was "going on his journey" alone xD such a quiet dude...?

So last night I decided to take a look at my stitches, and they weren't as scary as I thought. They were pretty small, just a knot. I was rinsing with saltwater when I felt the left stitches come out. One side of it had come out and the other was still inside the gums. At first I was worried bc I thought it was supposed to "dissolve" so I hurriedly looked it up. Apparently, dissolvable stitches mean it will dissolve or just come out. However, I also read some other stuff which kinda made me nervous. Like how stitches usually last from a week to months, but mine came out less than a week. But if it comes out, it just means my gums are healing well. I tried to pull it out, but it was so far back and I was holding my phone for flashlight too. My heart was racing. So many things ran through my head, going wrong. When I finally pulled it out--I didn't feel anything--but I felt so relieved. But the pressure of having to enduring that "fright" suddenly let itself go. I started to feel my hands "pulse" (hard to explain) and feel heavy, my head started to feel heavy, my ears started to ring, and I was about to hyperventilate. I still had to brush my teeth so I had to endure it. I tried to hurriedly brush my teeth so I can get to bed. While brushing my teeth, my eyes started to cloud over. More like that moment when you get dizzy and see stars, except I didn't see stars. Everything had a slightly darker tint? but I could still see. I guess it feels the same way when I felt like I was gonna faint after taking two shots, one on each arm, except I think that was bc I was trying to brave the shots so much that I held in my breath or maybe it was the pressure. I don't even know anymore. Either way, after I finished my heavy body walked out to get a drink a water, and I just got in bed. Still breathing a bit too much, and slightly shaking(?), I had to do deep breathing to calm myself down. I was really pale after pulling out the stitch. And that's the first time I even think I look pale as a ghost.
I'm fine now, but the socket hasn't closed yet. There's still an ugly hole so I have to be careful food doesn't accumulate in there, so I'ma eat even less and drink more water 'til it's closed I guess. I've dropped so much weight... but I haven't exercised really. My right side still a little sore and tight.

Yesterday I watched Gymnasium Baby. Uhm, it reminded me of Free! and so you can imagine there wasn't much but a kiss. Still liked it, but it was really meh. lol

Well, I woke up early this morning but went back to sleep, so really, I woke up around 11. My jaw was sore but didn't think I really needed to eat my painkillers. Also, mom ate my congee, so there was nothing for me to eat. Ended up taking Jim's advice and ate soggy cereal LOL but mom woke up & made me fresh congee~ not duck congee yay~ Eventually I took a painkiller & felt pretty sleepy. So I finished my small bowl of congee and took a nap on the couch. Didn't feel like I slept, but I did have a really annoying dream. I was super angry in it o.o so weird.

Downloaded "To Be Continued" and "Click Your Heart." Tried to save some ASTRO pics, but I got lazy. Maybe I shouldn't. Anyway, I watched Animation Runner Kuromi & aww, it was a sort of motivation, not a lot, but it was good enough. The ending song is really slow & sounds sad but it's good~

Oh my gahhh, I am so hungry, but all I get to eat is congee > > & Jell-O/grass jelly... while Jo gets to eat char siu. Ugh, can't wait to go out to eat crepes or something...

Well, apparently I only have 3 wisdom teeth. I don't know why Dr. Huang said I had 4 hmph. Since the top one hasn't grown out yet, I only pulled the bottom 2. The right side was the one growing crooked so it was harder to take out. It was a lot of pushing and pulling. I wasn't put to sleep. Right now my right side of my jaw is sore. I got dissolvable stitches but I don't know if it's gone yet. I can't (at least, won't) open my mouth wide enough to see. I was starving yesterday since I didn't eat when I went to get it pulled and couldn't eat afterward. I have painkillers and antibiotics to eat bleh. So I went with 24hrs without food. I drank water by dripping it from a straw, since I can't sip in case the suction pulls on my stitches. After I took my painkiller, I went to sleep around 8, but woke up an hr after. Went back to sleep again & kept waking up randomly? I think it was the heat. Went to sleep after another painkiller at 1am I think and woke up around 7/7:30am. Mom reheated congee for me. A big bowl but I couldn't even finish it or even eat half of it. I'm craving for something sweet so I had Jen buy me Jell-O LOL. Swallowing hurts, like when you have a sore throat. I didn't even talk much. My mouth still swollen a bit. I kinda slept a lot? Well, only after I ate the painkiller. I didn't fall into REM sleep though. My body felt heavy after the painkiller, when I was moving during my nap.

Anywho, Jen just went back to SF. I can't really do much... and haven't the energy to do anything. And I can't stop thinking about Uncontrolled Love, so I'ma rewatch it lol while drinking some congee. I have to rinse my mouth with saltwater too; sometimes I forget.

EDIT: Noticed things I didn't notice the first time I watched UL lol. I watched Boys Love and I hate the ending x'D If y'alls cringe at naked bodies, I don't recommend y'all to watch it. There's this really sweet part, when he holds his hand and watches him sleep after his emotional breakdown. I also just nibbled French fries from BK, the soft ones. Only chewed with my middle teeth and swallowed. These painkillers are strong; takes effect pretty fast. I found this series called Takumi-Kun Series on KissAsian. I don't know why they weren't put in a series set; instead it's split into different movies. I think I'ma watch one more before I shower. ((Psst, Jo won't let me keke)) She's cutting pork into really tiny pieces lol

EDIT2: Just finished Soshite, Harukaze ni Sasayaite & it was pretty sweet~ Man, after watching that I want to play my violin again... ((the "famous violinist" reminds me of someone & is kinda cute keke)) There's a BL2~ wonder if the movies connect though... welp. My jaw/tongue is starting to hurt. Better shower! :D

Another BL run today since it was so peaceful at home lol Let's see what I finished today...
It looks like I only finished Junjou Pure Heart. Lol It was pretty cute but Kurata kinda annoyed me sometimes... Just finished Uncontrolled Love but can you believe it? I have to wait for Season 2 in Aug. ugh! and that's where all the cute parts areeeee! There's already released BTS for that; watched a bit before realizing. I ain't watching that yet! And I watched halfway through their really cute interview xD Wow... the actors and their personalities were opposite of their characters' LOL
They both sing too! Man, but stuff about them is so hard to look up....

Well, being on YT you look at all the recommendations. Woops, my list of movies to watch just got longer >x<

Anyway, gotta sleep bc tomorrow... gotta pull my wisdom teeth out ToT

Here's a little secret... I'm a ふじょし.
Hey, you might know it already xD I'm not into the hardcore BL, just the soft/innocent and pure ones keke but anyway, I just did a J-drama movie run (I realize I'm not really into drama. And the irony? It's because once it's over, it's over xD movies are just over faster LOL)

While looking for something short to watch, I happened upon 愛の言霊 (Can you tell I'm having fun with my Jap. input typing? lol) Ai no kotodama. I found the part 2, but there's actually a 1st version. So I went and watched that. It wasn't much, but wow. Their relationship was just soooo cute. Typical manga style, eh? (I mean, it is an adaptation xD) But I couldn't help squealing. I watched it on YT so expect recommendations lol and I found 禁断の恋 Kindan no koi. Wow... it was... weird lol such a twisted ending... besides that, the relationship was cute when they cleared up the misunderstandings~ Still, the movie made me cringe a few times. Reading the YT comments was funny.
Okay, y'all know I love love~ kisses are the cutest (okay not even me but Jo went and found a cute gay asian couple kiss compilation on YT LOL and I'm sorry but alotofthemweresupercute and then I came upon a compilation for cute pocky kisses and sorrythatwassupercutetoo *sparkly eyes*)

Desperately looking for English sub for Kimi no ita natsu zenhen > < This is probably really bad for me to watch on YT... bc I keep looking for more movies to watch! Sucks that a lot aren't on KissAsian. And of course not on Viki or DramaFever... Oh save me! I need to slow down on these videos xD
I actually have a lot of stuff to watch, but that doesn't seem like it'll happen lol I should though...

I'm a pretty random person lol. I was just reading through some old comments on this blog and I don't even remember half the things I wrote! ((and realized sometimes I didn't reply to the comments haha or maybe I did, on their blog xD)) but anyway, yesterday we tried to cook a Japanese styled omelette. It didn't go too well but it looked decent! At least I didn't burn down the kitchen lols. I want to make stuff now... how about desserts? keke
I had this dream today.. and it was weird because Robin was in it? or not...

I went to sleep "early" last night. I woke up when Jo climbed over me, and I believe it was like 5am? Well, that's what it seemed like. And when I opened my eyes, it felt like I hadn't slept. Then I woke up a few more times because we had early alarms. Eventually woke up around 10:30/11. I just caught up with ASC right now. ASTRO is so precious.

So many things I planned to do this summer... but only like 1/5 actually went through? Also I think it's because I have to do Coach's stuff... and when I'm delaying that, I'm sacrificing everything else I want to do haha... ha... Welp. Should really get goin'.
Did I mention my violin is still in tune? keke

Ugh I am so annoyed right now because I can't do one freakin' simple hairstyle. I'm already annoyed about not being able to braid my own hair. I was trying to do this hairstyle; it's just twisting! but NOO my stupid hair won't stop tangling itself. So I'm so annoyed right now and I pretty much took it out on my hair by combing through it with my hand so roughly that I'm pulling hair out. ((I don't know why but I've been kinda losing more hair than usual lately? Like when I'm showering...)) Anyway, that's not even the only problem. Why won't my hair freakin' grow already. and why the heck is it always so freakin' oily and smelly. UGH. So pissed right now... > >

On a side note, I finally keychain-ed my DOB "set" lols Used Mod Podge for the first time. It SMELLS. So I put like 2 layers of MP and then sprayed with fixative again. Hopefully the colors don't scratch off. I should use resin instead of MP. Resin is so much prettier~ and will definitely protect the charms. Too bad it's pretty $$, but I heard there's a 5g at Daiso. Just not at my Daiso... hopefully at the one in SF. The whole point of me making that DOB charm was because, yes 1. I really love Taeyeongie and DOB lol but 2. because I want to remind myself to do my best (aka, their name Do One's Best) and that they've done it; they've worked hard busking and finally get to debut. So that whatever I want to accomplish, I just need to do my best and eventually I'll make it.

Lately me and Jo have been dancing some hard songs so that the next day we are really tired/sore. Actually, it's usually just me because Jo doesn't even go all out. Tried working out but that didn't work. Plus waking up early to go to the park to exercise... well, when we get there we do some weak workouts so that didn't help. Pretty disappointed because I'm not losing weight or my belly fat. ((Well, WiiFit says I am. Just little by little. But I think I gained again :p )) Speaking of dancing, worries? Not really. Just been thinking about POLARIS. How can we hold this group up? We've all grown up and are hitting into reality. There's no time for petty things like doing covers... It's hard to meet up as is. Or am I the one overestimating the group? So I'm just wondering... will we never do any more covers but just to have a name to hold?
--
And a rant about the world. Which all started because of the recent news around the world, the drama in the K-world, and GOT7's controversy. Also, you might get angry from the following rant, and may even disagree with me. Feel free to skip this section :) 
((This applies to all fandoms and any other connections you can make, such as with friends etc.))
It's scary how one can claim to be a so-called fan, but the moment they're in some trouble, they're the first to turn their backs on them. How can one consider themselves a true fan if their first response would be to jump out of the fandom? So let's say your idol did something terribly wrong; wouldn't a true fan feel really saddened? Or maybe even anger, within themselves for liking someone who would do something wrong. And this anger is usually thrown back at the idol as hatred, but I guess it's case-by-case. Is it me or some fans, if not many, are still so delusional that their biases/idols are "perfect"? The question is: what human in this world is 10-10 perfect? Yes, let's not forget these celebrities are human, just like you and me. So what if Yoochun goes to an adult café? Is he not human? Is he not an adult? Sure, maybe he should've been more careful and maybe he should've made the choice of not doing such things because of his status as a public figure, but these humanly things he does should not be something to be criticized so harshly, to that degree at least. Would you stop being friends with someone because you found out they go to some kind of adult café? Why is it that people think they have the right to criticize the things celebrities do? You sit behind a screen and hide in a room for goodness' sake. And if he did do something so criminally wrong, well, we don't have the right to judge; we'll let the Court decide that and his punishment. But before he's even confirmed guilty, what right do you have to say he is? It's like saying he is because he's accused as such, whether he's really done it or not. Where's the justice in that? I won't even go into most of what I was thinking while reading about GOT7's drama. But the thing is, death threats? Okay, death threats in general. Why? What right do you, behind a screen who don't even know the supposed person personally, have to tell someone to die or kill themselves? First of all, life shouldn't be treated so lightly. Once a life's gone, you can't bring it back. And people suiciding isn't a first where, whoever that cyber bully was, came out to apologize. It's just always too late. What good is it that you've apologized? We've lost a life; someone's lost a friend, a daughter/brother, a lover, a family member. You can't replace that for them. Never. Yet one can easily go on the internet to tell someone to die. Oh it's not hard to die, I mean you can try since you encourage it oh so often, so please watch your words carefully. This all comes down to my opinion on: what makes fans think they have all the right in the world to pretty much control what their favorite celebrities can do? Okay, maybe you wouldn't like seeing a public figure smoking/drinking or with tattoos, but those are all something a regular person would do. Is there a rule that says they have to give all that up if they want to become an idol? Who knows. I don't know.
Then there's the world. Ah, yes. Where's the little bit of humanity and hope left in these beings we call, human? The shootings were uncalled for. Just all of a sudden. Yes, every single person is entitled to their own opinion. And one who values their own opinion should understand the principle of valuing others' opinions. Why must we force one's own values on others? Then where would the idea that every SINGLE person is entitled to their OWN opinion be? That is just unfair. So you might hate the LGBTQIA community, but they are not doing anything that is directly affecting your freakin' life, so why can't you just leave them be? Racism should also be long gone, yet why are people still being racist? Everyone understands that people are different, yet some still claim that their race or something are far superior. Oh come on. Have you taken your history classes and passed? There is no one race that is superior nor inferior. If I had to say it, even animals are more civilized in recognizing that no matter what species they are, no matter how different they look from themselves, they can still be friends. Are humans too "wild" to understand that concept? Let me also add this: yes, you're entitled to your opinion, but when voicing your opinion, it shouldn't be in a way that's insulting or degrading, not even subtly. Babies don't know what is racism; it is taught and it is learned. What happened to the "Golden Rule" we learned as children? Were they just for show?
"do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
I may not be religious, but just seeing/reading about all these religious problems, and even during history classes, I always wonder... what would God say about this? Every religion claims that their God is THE God, but why can't they respect other religions? Because didn't that one God create an alias for each race and religion in which life would make sense for each? God never preached to fight to make him "the only one." I don't know how religious people feel, like how strongly toward their belief is. But... the one who's preaching... it's a human. And... is it strange for me to think some people manipulate the wordings or even 'teachings' of their God? Some people like to use the Bible as a ways of attacking something unorthodox, and I'm over here thinking "I'm pretty sure that's not what he meant." 

Of course, this rant cannot be used as a description for everyone in the fandom/on the internet/in the world/of a religion. I'm just sick of all these ignorant cowards who voice their opinions like what they say is the only truth etc. And they're too stubborn to accept anything contrary.
Humans...

Oops didn't realize I wrote such a long rant *merong*

I woke up early this morning only to get annoyed at my dad bc of some stupid request/promise he made to someone. I was up around 8 and didn't go back to sleep 'til around 10:30/11? I kept waking up and sleeping again. Ended up getting up around 3? Then we went out to pick up the CRV from the Honda place, then to Costco and Winco. Finally getting home.
I had this throbbing ache on my right temple. I napped with mom before she left for work, and then I napped on the couch bc dad needed to sleep before work. Still a throbbing ache and then Jo gave me cereal. I wanted to eat pizza but it's already late~ gotta get up and lose this fat but omg no motivation...
Hanging out with the crew tomorrow. So much to do though... I want pizza.

Another year of fireworks. The dogs are still scared, but this year there wasn't as many (loud) ones so they were okay. Me & Jo sat with them for a while. We were gone for a few hours to drop off Jim at SF. They were happy to see us when we got back. Jo was getting out of the van and Reno came up; I thought he was just sniffing around until he tried to jump into the van! I had to sort of carry him off xD (only his front legs made it on) Then Bobby followed mom into the house omg XD my mom was mostly laughing instead of being mad since she knew they were scared of the fireworks lol.

I was really mad today. We were eating at my grandparents' place & like the typical dad he is, he starts to talk about the same stuff he always does. I ignore him. Eventually it just got on my nerves, (bc he kept saying to auntie that he didn't know we were going to eat at my grandparents') especially when he was talking to auntie about how he hold grudges and stuff. F*k that. I hold grudges too, you think you're all that? For goodness sake, why do you even bother to hold the grudges? I literally felt all my pent up anger about to explode; I really had the urge to hit him or something. I was about to get into a fight. So I just breathed until I felt dizzy. And then I just ignored him.

Uh ohs. I gained again. Hm. Sad. Jo said we shall run tomorrow, but who knows if we will? lol

"optimism in the face of insurmountable odds is a superpower we have" --Tablo@bornhaters/SC

Me & Jim were just talking about stuff regarding dad's way of thinking/expressing about/for our future. And I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea and also how I'm approaching life right now; and in the future.
~~
Today we went shopping & I got myself a watercolor paint set *insert laughing/crying emoji* It's one step to getting myself to practice using watercolor/calligraphy lols. Pretty happy with it, but kinda worried I won't use it either... 

I might enter SONAMOO's 1theK contest but I don't know lol the dance is... iyah, not too hard, but some tricky areas. Maybe I just need to practice more *shrugs*
Late nights are so bad for me... I really need to lose some weight; it fluctuates +/- 2-3 lbs (morning to night) Tonight is really cold~

I just found out I missed the freakin' cutest short film before Finding Dory. O.M.G. Piperrrrr. Man, now I gotta wait for someone to upload it... I also missed the ending after the credits *sigh*

HURRY & DO YOUR FREAKIN' TASKS YOU STUPID SHEEP! *sigh* I also really need to clear my windows (I have 4 open full of tabs, but all suspended) & clean my desktop... & edit some vids, organize etc.... wow so much to do. I should make a to-do list. I need to get my butt movin....

There's something about posting really late at night... when your thoughts are collected and you start to think... Things that should have been done but haven't been... Hm, well that's everyday haha

The other day we had our first practice for ICC at Meimei's & it went pretty well. Everyone got the dance pretty fast. I had a great time, other than when I felt slightly flustered; when I really wanted to help them figure out a part of the dance, only to realize I don't know the dance as well as I thought. Like I know it, but only to the extent of following the video. Without the video, I'm pretty lost. But this practice, we jumped right into formation. And it didn't go too bad. Hopefully, next practice will be better, to the point where filming is within reach :)

-- Now playing: ROMEO - 삐딱해봤더니 (mama) --

Wow I'm sore. The other day me and Jo were playing Wii Fit. I also practiced "ICC". Then we did Tiffany's leg workout. My calves... guess I just gotta keep working on them & see what happens. I woke up early this morning bc originally me & Jo were gonna go run at the park, but even at 7:30am, it was hot, so we didn't go. I woke up at 9am, earliest this whole summer break I think lols
It's already the end of June... & I haven't finished Coach's stuff! Iyah... I also called for an appt for my wisdom teeth... *cries* but the lady sounded really nice.
It was really hot today... and I ended up napping on the single sofa. I also tried out "Monster," and it's the only EXO song, I think, that I picked up really fast; even though it's still sloppy. I think I'm getting better at remembering moves :D Once you get the chorus, everything else was easy. At first I was trippin' over it. Then I tried "Oh No" because I should do a girl song at some point lol. I should do "L.I.E" too... hm.
Right now I'ma finish "Nightmare" though.
I'm tired.

TO-DO:
1. Work on POLARIS intro cut
2. YT icon & header

I guess we're going somewhere. Monsta X's cover is finally done edited and up! Now what's the next one to work on... keke U10's cover still needs to be re-uploaded due to that ugly bass. I caught up with most of the shows (I think). Me and Jo are not as itchy, but there's still a bunch of bites; we just use this spray that we went out to buy yesterday. I guess it helps. I still need to call the dentist... sigh.

POLARIS come back; wheeee~ we're planning dates and stuff so hopefully we can actually come back. Wondering if we'll have a comeback with Dae though... but she's always too busy with work. And when she is off, I'm sure she'd rather hang out with her other friends than spend a few hours practicing with us... But anyway, I really want to do "Just you" with the group because they're so underrated there will hardly be any covers. This song/dance is so upbeat, I want it to be a full 5-member cover~

-- Now playing: AOA - Give Me Love --

Oops I leagued a little too much lately hehe. These bug bites are killing me fuhhh. So many... as long as it's not bed bugs... These red dots make it look like I'm contagious or something.
I plan to sleep early but that never happens.

Yesterday I played Wii Fit, and surprisingly, I beat a lot of my old scores in the games lol I also did yoga and actual strength training. As of right now, my shoulders hurt; probably from the push-ups/boxing. I also finally recorded my cover. It didn't go too bad but it got really hot. I was also able to do a one take but not without mistakes haha. Also saw the famous skateboarding bulldog Picasso! He so cute haha Anyway, I did it in the morning at Weber Point. There weren't a lot of people except for some elderly taking their morning walk, people walking their dogs, and some homeless who stopped by to compliment. This is one of the better covers--of my 3 lol-- because I actually remembered the dance and the process of it was pretty typical of filming haha. Moving on! to the next covers, that I don't know what yet. ((Monsta X released their practice the day AFTER I FILMED MY COVER. whyyyy lol)) Yesterday I also met up with Jessica, Arianne, and Louegie to watch "Finding Dory." Very cute and touching :') After the movie we dilly-dallied for an hour looking for a ride since Arianne's mom wasn't picking up. We called for Uber/Lyft, and cancelled when Arianne's mom came to pick us up. Afterward, we called Lyft again to take us to BJ's. It was getting late. I won't mention how awkward it was with them two; though Dae denies there's anything going on, I think they hit it off already. But oh wells, not my business.

I need to stop waking up so late bruh. I don't want to do anything... it got cold tonight and it smelled like rain. I need to hurry up and finish Coach's stuff. Also, I guess I'm working on this bad habit of mine? where I have short-term memory loss lol and then I get annoyed 'til I remember. Well, earlier on my phone (on either Twitter, FB, or IG) I read a comment on a post about someone's Japanese single and I'm like hey I didn't know that. But then I couldn't remember what group. Also my collection of music. I think it's gotten better? I don't feel too annoyed if I don't get all the releases. *shrugs*
--
Curious about the title? Some things just happened today and the other day (not too big) but it got me thinking about myself, what I've done/been doing/should be doing. I hate myself sometimes. The reason why I get mad at my dad is because he's annoying or I'm annoyed already, but usually it's because I hate how I can't explain something to him or I can't translate it in Chinese.
I don't remember what it was he saying to my mom, but I told him we need to get him a hearing aid because it's causing us problems (rough translation from Chinese). It wasn't until I spoke it when I realized it sounded rude. It sounded like a rude Chinese youngster complaining about the disabilities of an elder; even though I didn't mean it that way. I was just keeping in mind this article I read about a marriage almost ruined because the couples were always arguing bc the husband misheard the wife bc he was hard of hearing. I was just thinking how much quieter the house could be, bc lately, I've noticed that my replies to him have already accustomed to a sort of yelling bc he can't hear. Just earlier, I got heated bc my mom won't let me vacuum the porch at 1am. I don't even know why I was. Not that I argued back bc I knew she was right about waking neighbors (maybe?), but I got really annoyed (not to mention I couldn't figure out that Japanese single).
The other day was with Jo. It's probably just because she's my sister that I can react this way. I had her take a look at the rough edit Jim did of my cover. I already knew there were problems here and there, but Jo has a way of putting attitude (or at least that's what it sounds like) in her words, even though to her, it's probably not attitude. She kept saying you shouldn't have worn white; why is your bangs like that; why did you tie up your hair like that; don't be a wimp in the sun (bc we were talking about doing a black version, but that I didn't want to be wearing black in the heat (even though I was in the shade)) and comments like that. The last comment was not one I minded bc it was like a joke. I got really annoyed when she said those to me, even though I had already noted all those things. When I retorted her, that's when she started replying with an annoyed tone. She was just stating what she thought (but hey, she's a little too blunt?) and here I was, giving her an annoyed attitude. After she finished she didn't say anything and left. I thought about it after a while. First, it was her "unintentional" tone in her comments that annoyed me. 2, she had to verbally state the things I already didn't like about the video. and 3, I was pretty proud of this cover and she made it sound like it's the worse thing she saw (exaggerated). Then I thought, well, that's what we joke about with other people's covers. I wouldn't react that way if someone other than family had made those comments.
To be honest, this cover made me even more aware and conscious of my body. I really really dislike it... but I tried to tell myself it's alright... it's alright... at least for this cover.
I'm also guilty of not helping out at home. I just don't know how to, but mostly it's because I don't wake up early enough; mom already done the chores. And she doesn't tell us to do this or that, and sometimes she just does herself. I don't know if Jo even has this guilt conscious; my guilt conscious trips me out a lot.

But yeah, so many things I regret doing and saying.
That's why I hate myself sometimes.

--Now playing: Steelo - Still Love --

Hm, I was really sleepy the other day and didn't want to do anything. I did manage to force myself to make a D.O.B. based keychain with Taeyeongie the next day, though it's not baked yet. At first I wanted Park Jin with Taeyeongie but I did not like how he came out. He kinda looks like Kaneki... lol. Wow I cannot wait for their debut~~ <3

Wednesday I also hung out with POLARIS, of course Steph is in Canadaaaa. We tried the moffles... nothing interesting. Just a waffle with ice cream... meh. We spent like 2-3 hrs gossiping and just catching up with each other. (Not even bc we were talking about other people LOL) We message each other too often that we're already caught up with each other LOL *insert laughing-crying emoji* But Dae was telling me stuff about Lollipop & omg my poor puppyyyy. #CSSSCougars4ever no matter what, I'm on his side. *cross arms & nods*
Afterward we went to the mall, but Mina and Jessie went home early. There wasn't anything else for us to do. So after we went to Victoria's Secret & chilled, we went home. Good day still ^^
~
Dateu you ask? No, not really lol. Looks like it, but I just hung out with Lee today. He came to pick me up, & us 2 lost kids went to the theater on West Ln. There was a detour plus earlier we weren't sure which way we were going, so I was in the car alone with him longer than if we had gone straight to the theater lol I still don't know why we didn't just go to the theater downtown... maybe bc TMNT was only 3D in the downtown one. But anyway, we definitely caught up lots. He talks a lot hehe ^^' I won't even mention what we talked about bc we really talked about a bunch of topics. I seriously thought it was going to be awkward, but it really wasn't :D He paid for the tickets (he laughed at me when I said to him "we're paying separately right?") It was kinda weird going to the theaters alone with him haha kinda reminds me of the time I went to the mall with Junior alone. Now that was awkward as heck. Afterward we went to T4, but not without spilling popcorn in his car first, oops LOL. To be honest, I really thought I'd be super embarrassed and get red, but I didn't get really flustered, maybe for the first few seconds. I paid for the drinks (when I was putting away the mini menu, he turned and looked like he was about to get up and asked me if he was supposed to just sit there and I nodded and said mhm), but it looked like he didn't like his drink? bc we sat and talked but while I drank mine, he only sipped a few here and there. We talked a lot too, and he told me his plans for the future, being registered at Full Sail U. (is that even legit?) and stuff. Well, at least he's planning something. He also talked about his work schedule and his work.
When he dropped me off, he asked me when school was starting. I told him and also that I'm leaving for San Jose at the end of July. He said to me, "Aug 30th is my birthday though." I can't believe he brought that up xD I kinda laughed as I was getting out of the car and said to him "I know!~ It's not my fault school starts then."
This dude... still a mystery 'til the end.
I came back and I was in a good mood ^w^ but I got a slight headache. I don't know is it bc hanging out with him stressed me out LOL Mom gave me some fried rice to eat but I really didn't feel like eating. I ate like 2 spoonfuls but didn't feel well. So I didn't really eat when I got back.

Wow it's really late now. Getting up early to do my cover. Originally I was supposed to do it this morning, but Jim woke up an hour earlier to use the restroom, thinking it was 6:30, but really, my mom's clock is still an hour ahead (or was it behind) lol. I was also feeling tired (since I slept late) but also bc these 2 days I've been having a weird stomach ache. Not even the I-need-to-take-a-sh* stomach ache; it's this churning and something-squeezing-my-insides feeling. And because of that, I woke up at 6:30 in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep 'til 8am. It was really painful. I guess I'm also not eating much? Maybe this "stomach ache" is telling me to stop eating so much LOL
Update on that weight loss? I'm losing weight but not so much following what I said I'd do lol
So yup. Still gotta make-&-bake the keychains and do Coach's stuff. Omg I seriously need to finish those ribbons before July. Steph is coming back soon~ so hopefully we can get our cover done too ^^

--Now playing: Prop Game - Welcome to the Dragon Circus (VIP)--

The weather has been getting cooler lately, but it's still pretty warm. I still don't want to do much. Watched "Love Keeps Going" with mom, kyaa it's cute, but wow much drama it's crazy. I finally pulled myself to work on Coach's stuff. It came out okay? but I didn't like the outcome much. So I took it apart. I also caught up with all the music performances. Wow. It sure takes a lot of time and energy, so I don't know if I want to do that again. Heh. Bad habits.

I swear to goodness, Birdy is like my idol (@itsbirdy/IG). He has a cool car. He can draw. He can make music. He skates. He's cute. He's Canadian LOL but ohmygah. I want to be like him. Bruh, he's literally self-taught in everything, like wow *heart eyes* I want to too, but the determination is not as strong as his... I give up so easily. Too easily.
Nana asked about these "dreams" I speak of. Are there really a lot? Hm. When I start to really think about it, no. I just have a lot of things I want to do, so they're considered dreams? Who knows. Main dream/goal: get a good, if not, decent, job at a studio (hopefully DreamWorks or Pixar). Other small dreams are working on my hobbies. I want to make more comebacks with POLARIS. I want to make music; I want to do well in piano/violin/guitar. I want to do calligraphy. I want to code.
Hm. So maybe it wasn't much, but thinking all that at the same time made it seem like lots. Yeah, I have lots of time, but the time goes to waste...

I have time now since it's summer. I have all these things on a (sort-of) to-do list, yet I'm unwilling to do them. I have yet to watch the things I say I need to... like "To Be Continued" & "Click Your Heart". *sigh* I watched quite a few SNL with Jonghyun though. I'm dead xD Which reminds me, I need to watch AOMG on SNL omg xD I've also been looking into really underrated groups including Underdog, M.fect, and CRA'BEAT. It's so hard to find their stuffs, I'm really about to buy Underdog's and CRA'BEAT's (prev. known as Uncloud) old songs/albums. Halp.

--Now playing: K-tigers - Here For You--

When I read y'alls blogs, I really want to comment on your posts. But then again, I don't want to add any unnecessary pressure, and it feels like I'm butting in all the time. And it seems weird(?) for me to comment through my blog here...

I'm about 2 weeks into my summer break. Can't really say I did much, but I did watch Angry Birds with Victor and Jessica. During the 1st week, I guess I did hang out quite a bit? Hung out with badminton members from Jim's year. Michael's done with the army it seems ^^ But yeah, I didn't want to waste too much money either. Come on, I'm trying not to be freeloader here.

It's the last weekend here at SJ before the first summer as a college student. Wing and Lovepreet already left yesterday WITHOUT SAYING BYE. Even after I told him not to leave without saying bye hmph. Well, at least he still snapchat-messaged me to ask me where I was, only to message me an hour later, which meant he already went home. Wonder if he's coming back... even though he told me he will... Then I messaged Lovepreet because he didn't say byeeeee ToT He said he might stop bye. Hmph.

Omgee Michael though, this afternooon *insert laughing-crying emoji* I had to message him for rice~ after an hour though, he didn't reply me but Bea was getting impatient. I didn't want to be rude since we're the one asking. We waited in the common room. After a while, Bea heard his voice and said "Michael! Riiiiice!" xD and he gave us a very exasperated--jokingly--smirk and sigh and gave us his 3 microwavable rice and said "This is all my rice!" and he asked us if we were out of food and Bea said yes we were and he was like awww xDD

We also did our little "photoshoot" haha it was kind of awkward lol but pretty fun.
So tonight us, Biri, and John went to watch "Civil War." Then we went to Amor. When we got back, we were going to go down to the Village Market so Bea can buy noodles but then John gave her curry so we just went down to get water. Luis was on duty so he asked us if we could do him favor. So we refilled his water bottle. Then he asked if we had any more dining dollars. In the end I offered to buy him stuff. He was like ooh yeah, anything you want, maybe like sour patches watermelon. it doesn't matter. Then I asked if he wanted ice cream. He was like yesss and he wanted the strawberry shortcake one. When we got back he was so excited because we got him food *insert laughing-crying emoji* I should've gotten food for the other two RAs. We always labor for him when he's on duty xDD (But before-hand, LeAnn told me to give her the ice cream to "prank" him, but really she wanted to take credit for buying ice cream for him? Maybe I took that negatively, but I mean, anyone seeing us handing him food would've thought she bought it, but hey, I bought that hmph. I wanted to hand it to him, but she wouldn't give it back to meeeee. Also, she was being stingy WITH MY MONEY and telling me to just buy him one or the other, like what the heck? > >)

Anyway, I also finally got Michael's snapchat, hence the rice message. Whew, that took so much energy and dugun dugun to ask LOL I feel like I asked it really rudely? but of course I didn't mean it that way. Kinda ordered him to add me? haha Hm, still didn't get Andres's snapchat....
Oh yeah, I've also moved stuff into our apartment from Jim's apartment. It was a difficult night LOL

EDIT: Luis just came up, and he said "whattup fam." SO WE'RE FAM NOW.

It's insane how lazy I am to blog. So much stuff happened these past few days. So many things running through my mind. Yet I can't bring myself to write about them.
It's probably the clutter on my desk, the clutter of tabs on my 3 windows, and the clutter in my mind.

I do like to come back to read what I've written though; always interesting.
Right now, I'm hating my phone because in low light, I get these rainbow lines. I went to Pitch, Please's concert tonight, and the videos I recorded look like when an old VCR is played, and instead of black and white tracking lines, it's colorful. Ugh, I hate how Samsung said the camera's good and all when it's not. It's been like that since I got it. I think it got worse though. It needs a check-up because I really don't want to need to get a new phone (bc technically, I don't).

Wow, in just a short time--maybe like 2 weeks--so much stuff happened? This is probably gonna be all out of order, but the interactions is the important things right? lol

Well, finally finished with everything Bio. I got a good grade on the presentation~ even though I stayed up 'til like 4 to work on the PowerPoint. I was really proud on how neat and organized I made it. Oh yeah, that night I was out in the common room with Michael. Since we're talking about Michael, I'ma miss him~ To be honest we only talked like twice the first semester. We didn't start talking again 'til the floor meeting, when he brought up how it's so sad that we're all leaving and whatnot. And then another night, I was out working on my portfolio and Biri asked him to help her on math. So he sat on the couch to the left of me and I was working. At one point he just slid down the table and put his head on the table. OMG HIS ACTIONS >///< That was too cute... and then he asked me if I had a deviantArt. And I said, yeah but that I didn't want to show him bc he said what is it and got his phone ready to look it up. I was like nuuuuu bc my arts suck but he still wanted to see. Okay, my dA is like all kid drawings xD I ended up opening my dA on my laptop and let him look at it. He was so supportive though OMG I'm dead. He's so niceeee TuT Another day, I was working on my cool still life. He just got back and was supposed to be doing math hw but he took many "breaks" and then finally I finished, around 4am? And then I went to sleep. That painting passed the 1st day! Wheee~
Also, one day after gym he was in the common room and Megan, Lehlani, Kirsten, Sarah, and KG were just roasting him xD it was so funnyyyy. He was like "Wow did I miss a poster that said Roast Michael if you see him?" LOL Oh yeah, the Running Man challenge. Okay so after the meeting he brought up wanting to do the RM challenge with the floor, so I suggest to do it at the floor party. He was like naww. A few min. later he brought it up again, so I said "just do it at the party" and he was like 'okay, I'm down for it (if you are? I don't know if he said that, but he said something about me)' So then that day, "roast michael day," the song played & he & KG automatically did it. Then he called me out, saying that we should do it during the party (or that I wanted to do it). I was flustered to answer bc HE KNOWS MY NAME lolol but I was like "nu uhhhh you wanted to do it; I just suggested to do it at the party" and he said "bc you said it." HMPHHHH lol
Another time, a while back, me and Bea were coming back from the DC. He and a few other people were in the common room. My hands were full, so Bea opened the door for me but it rebounded from her toes and the door slightly hit my arm & I made this weird sound and he looked up like you good? lol and then me and Bea kinda laughed it off xD I only saw him pfft. Well, that pretty much rounds up him? haha

Oddly, I stayed up til like 4am 2 days in a row.... don't even know why. Painted outside yesterday for ANI14. Last day of class on Thursday~ :(
Over the weekend, I went to Jim's and met up w/ Jen & we had Korean fooood~ spicy chicken and tteokbokki w/ ramen. Then I stayed over at Jen's. Then we went home for a night and Jen was so sleepy when driving back omg she such a bad driver lol. We got back and started cleaning xD (also, I was lecturing Jen the whole way home haha) but yeah, when we left, I grabbed my camcorder. So these past days, we were recording lots. John even took it to film some people, but he's so bad at filming & he was asking about his first impressions *rolls eyes*
LeAnn also brought up hot pot with hyung. Hyung was like Oh yeahhh, I forgot. and mentioned how it's pretty $$ to hot pot, so we changed to pho I guess. He was like just let me know when since we didn't decide yet. He's moving out Friday and coming back Monday for his last final T^T man, everyone leavinggg I cry...

Also Steph is coming this Thursday~
I bought Los 5's EP omg I can't believe I did haha. I just messaged Juan Pablo on snapchat and asked him if their #NoMicTake1 series songs will be officially released and he said yes in the future! Wheee! Happy~ & yes, he does reply on SC msgs~ Omg Los 5 makes my day when they just play around on their SC.
Anyway, I should be finishing my painting and portfolio.... peace!

So I was sort of caught up, and now I'm not ahaha. Nothing new so far (I'm learning how to keep my posts short ;) be proud of me~)

It's almost 3am & I have class at 9. Keel me nowwww. I wasn't very productive over the weekends? Well, I did finish my bio but that was about it. I still have a bunch of stuff to do. I went to watch "The Boss" with Biri on Friday. Saturday I went out with Josue, and he treated me to Old Spaghetti Factory (his cute friend works there! haha) We also went to Muji before we dropped Biri off work & heading to OSF. Muji's hiring! I was pretty excited bc I was so down to work there lol. I even started on my resumé when I got back to the dorm. Writing one was harder than I thought...
I maybe should start stressing over ANI14? But I have been doing pretty well, I mean I never got lower than a 70. *shrugs* Still, the homework's about piling up now.

On Tues I really was in a sort of bad mood bc first off, I got some bad comments on my pear paintings (not like I never got bad comments, but that day, those comments really irked me) and then Steph tells me that the really nice 360Res unit was gone. And then I sorta started stressing? Not really... but anyway I was really down. Not to mention I had to get to ANI1 early bc we were having an extra credit screening before class. I got to class and there were a lot of people going in and out, so I just held the door open. When the 'masses' started thinning out, this dude stood in front of the entrance next to me and offered to hold the door but I said it was okay and that he could go first. So he went in but then turned back to ask if I was in the class. I nodded and he was like "ohhh! then come in come in!" (I don't really remember word for word, but he was really nice) He insisted on holding the door open--from the inside LOL so I scurried in so he didn't have to awkwardly hold it open. He said to me as I passed by something like wouldn't want you to be stuck outside if you have class. That kinda lifted my spirits. Oh yeah, there was also an Earth Day event with a petting zoo. Soft bunniessss~

On Wed, Jen & Jim came over and took me to do my observational lab field thingy. We made friends with a Canadian goose! It was right next to me keke. It was really hot that day. Afterward, we went to the mall & did some Mother's Day shopping. There was also a Brookstone! We spent a lil' over $200? I wonder if we're returning the massageeee thingies for cheaper on Amazon...

Haven't gone to the gym last week I don't think... LOL. Today I went to the library to study with KG, Biri, and Paola. To be honest, I didn't do anything really, so yeah, technically I wasted my time. But the fun thing was, when we were going there, we got a lift on the UPD cart. When we were leaving they wanted a lift but KG asked for an escort so we got a walking escort. He was pretty nice, pretty chill. It was kinda awkward walking back with him but he was chatting with KG. I didn't have much to eat today. I had my leftover chicken breast with canned ravioli for lunch at around 3? with Quickly. Spent time watching Qmentary--> Omg I died xD & was also Skyping with Jim. And then left for the library around 8:50pm.
At the library Meimei HAD to send me fantaken photos of FREAKIN' WEI WITH SMOKY MAKEUP. I ALMOST DIED. HE WAS WINKING TOOO WINKING I TELL YOUUU sigh. lol

Oops, falling behind again hehe.
This week went faster than I hoped I guess?
Well, for ANI14 homework we had to do 10 tonal drawings w/ our Tombow dual markers. I did them all the morning of class. Uli said it was good & he couldn't find anything to say to me & he said "I have to tell you at least one thing...." Other than drawings being off and reflected light is too light, he said I did really well ^w^ I think that made my day.
And then there was Jobee's talent show performance.... AT LUNCH. I still don't get it... *shakes my head*

One day I went down to eat sushi after class, and before my 6:30pm class. (When I got out of ANI14, I was going to take the elevator, but I saw Joey too late & I was so awkward avoiding the elevator--I walked out and back in after they left. phew. So I ended up taking the next elevator w/ "jawline"--this dude that has a really nice jawline according to Bea lol)
I was peacefully eating when this dude suddenly sits down in front of me and asks me about blind date advice. Uhm, ahaha, awkwardly we talked. I couldn't give him much advice that he didn't already know. He was really nice still I guess? He's a junior, but he talked so shy? Anyway I haven't seen him (& even if I did, I prob wouldn't even recognize LOL)

Amy and I also went back to hip hop for Jonny's workshop. Dude it was so scurry bc it was all his Syndicate friends TuT and it was super windy that day, my eyes were so dry & we were all freezing LOL

---
Yesterday was Admitted Spartans' Day & Steph came over w/ her mom, aunt, & sis. It was kinda awk? lol I kinda gave them a sort of tour but I think I failed LOL. Psh, Steph even left me w/ her mom & aunt alone (when I guided them to use the restroom). After ASD, we ate and went apartment scouting w/ Biri. I really like the one at 360 Res., though it's a lil' far by walking, but I think we'll get use to it. Also, Thirst Tea is hiring!? *sigh* I'm too scared to ToT but what's the worst?
We ate at Johnny Rockets; ate a lil' too much. I've been going to the gym w/ KG on Mon, Wed, & I guess Fri now too. And I just ate all that back... *sigh*

Also, I haven't had time for DTA's and stuff ToT
U10 comeback~ <3

*Right now I'm listening to my blog's music, listening to the piano version of Winter Blossom. Ah, memories. Can't wait for Season 4~*

Anyway, a lot of stuff's been happening I guess? This past weekend I stayed over at Jen's place in SF. I've been working out with KG, starting last Wed. Only Wed. though since I'm busy every other day. Maybe Friday... but I went with her this Monday too. She's training me ^^ I'm weak but at least when she's training me, I force myself to do it. It's not like it's unpleasant, but in the case with Bea, I won't force myself because, well, it's Bea! Lol.
Hyung also brought some bad news hmph. He's leaving SJ and going to a community college in Tracy. He wants to transfer to a UC, & it's easier from a community college... I was so sad :(( but I mean, he's doing what's best for him. He said he's been losing weight, about 6-7lbs since he was here. Poor hyung...

Yesterday my classmate took me & 3 other girls to Palo Alto Baylands for our field trip. It was pretty cool I guess. We saw a very pretty Annas Hummingbird ^^ Remember that funny (but not so funny) dude in my lab class? Nothing 'bout him really lol he's just taller than I thought LOL

Also, Luis. Omgee lol we've been kinda really, friendly? lately, I guess. He just casually comes into our room when our door is open haha just twice really; he came in last night. Kinda more comfortable with him now though so it's good. ^^

I wanted to sleep earlier lately... it almost worked? Uhm, but I slept late last night because I spent so much time after lab catching up on performances > < sheesh too many comebacks, & more to come! Then gym-ed. So when I got back to the dorm & showered, it was like 930? And when I started my homework, I ended up finishing around 230. I finished the rest this morning. I didn't wake up as early as I wanted to though.
Something that bothered me last night: Biri was going to get off work late, & she wanted a sandwich so asked LeAnn/Bea to get it. Bea kept dilly-dallying, asking if she'll make it in time since there's like 15min left. We said she could, but she just kept making excuses. In the end they said that actually, they would have already cleaned up. I was just thinking, what kind of friend wouldn't go get food for them? instead of making excuses -.- I know she can't really say no, I don't want to go get it because that's mean, but she could've just changed & attempted or something instead of making all these excuses. Sigh.

POLARIS is having a comeback this summer! Hopefully it actually goes through this time haha. I really want to comeback... <3

Thanks Minar! <3

Anyway, hyung hyung hyung.
Yesterday when I was going to class, I left at a time when there were only guys waiting for the elevator (luckily, Biri ended up coming too). So when I opened the door, I was really surprised. Hyung was the closest to the door & he boo-ed me; I was really taken aback x2 LOL. It was Travis, Josh & Andres, & Hyung waiting. When I got there, the elevator had just come. I held the door open for Biri & hyung starts saying to Andres & Josh about how I'm a junior standing academically omg hyung even I don't brag about myself LOL & when we were in the elevator he was like "her sisters go to like Berkeley and... Davis?" *looks at me* so I awkwardly nod LOL. I was kinda standing next him--not close (he's left of me)--& behind Andres with Josh next to him. Biri stood behind Josh & next to me (it's like a square, us 4. in my point of view can you imagine it? LOL)
Josh was the only one still listening to hyung LOL. Hyung also mentioned, I guess my major? but I didn't say anything. He said something like "....art.... that's talent." I wasn't really listening, all I saw was Josh nodding & with his usual smirk LOL I am so dead ahahaha all my favorite people in an elevator. Okay, he stops talking when we hit like the 9th floor I think.
That is just so awkward LOl does he have to bring up my standing everytime I'm with him & other people? pfft.
well I mean *shrug*

Originally I was going to write a pretty long post after thinking so long on the drive back to SJ (yes, I'm back in SJ), but my mood went up so now I don't feel the need to, though I guess I have a few things to share?

I think I should've had an "emo" phase.
To be honest, I'm very much a 'happy virus' ya know? I'm super optimistic & peppy, for the most part. But the con of that kind of personality is, once you're sad/depressed, it's extreme sadness. I mean, it balances right? Being extremely happy all the time just means being extremely sad when your mood drops. So I kinda wished I had an emo phase. I almost did, but I think it was very short & temporary. Once I'm feeling down, I just lose all motivation and just, desire to do nothing at all; including not going to school etc. (not to the point of not wanting to live though). There's just no more desire of anything... and I'm just spaced out for a while.

I was mad/sad/annoyed/lost all at the same time.
I wish I never found out... never found out that the black hard drive in our room was not ours. To find out that it's possible my dad returned OUR hard drive because he thought it was his. We're hoping for a possibility that maybe ours is placed elsewhere, but the chances are pretty low. It had all our backups to old memories and whatnot. Imagine not getting any of those back... I can't. Too many emotions spilled out at once. I didn't know how I should be feeling. What's the right emotion to feel? Yes, I'm always annoyed at my dad & I'm sure I've written posts about how much I disliked him (mostly his actions; "hate" is a strong word). Yes, everyone makes mistakes. And so what? Once it's done, it's done. There's nothing that can be done to bring it back. There's nothing arguments can do to bring it back. So why bother? I don't even know... He didn't do it on purpose, yet we want someone to take the blame. The way we treat him? It's not right, we know that. But in our standards, what he's saying. Doing. It's not right. Yet in his standards, it's all good. Who's correct? Or, he just doesn't know. [No, I did not have an argument with him over the hard drive.]

I usually don't know when I'm stressing.
Because I don't feel like I'm breaking down, or need to. And it's not like I keep things to myself; I let it all go in my blog. I'm not telling someone, but I'm telling something I guess you could say. Times when I know I'm stressing is when I suddenly feel like I won't get something done, or that I'm straining myself so much that I want to cry yet don't want to. It's also when I feel so overwhelmed that I don't know what to do. Lists of things to do is what keeps me straight, calm-minded, and clear. Kind of. But things just pile up and become really stressful. Sometimes, they're not important. Not important things that stress me out is keeping up with my favorite groups on music shows, special music shows etc, shows, SNS, V app etc. What used to stress me out was saving every single pic of my babs from tumblr (that means going through hundreds of pages on various tumblr fanpages), and I finally broke that bad habit, though it occasionally comes back when I get hooked to a new group--though I keep telling myself they're not needed. I think a new thing (not really) that is stressing me out is knowing if I have every released album/single/song from artists, sometimes going all the way back to their debut. To be honest, will I listen to the old albums? Most likely not. Maybe sometimes I would want to listen to an old song or two. I'm trying to break that bad habit right now. Important things that are stressing me out are everyday homework, apartments for next year, money, and jobs.

I don't even know.

--
Well there's my rant of the day... I should really find a good cry. 
I took the opportunity of LeAnn & Bea not back yet so I cleaned my table. I need to buy a bookshelf stand...? I love being in the dorm by myself~ So much freedom.

*A happy tidbit of the day: I got to eat crêpes with Steph, Mina, & Jessica. Then we had K-bbq. I was so full omg my tummy was sticking out so much (also bc I've been eating well at home).
Time to work out a lil' here & there. Time to go back to hip hop (soon). Time to learn all my babs' new dances~ (oi, I really cannot get stressed out bc I haven't watched a bajillion different shows and cuts of my babs ToT)

Well. It's time for me to sleep. My head is itchy > > Also, I'm typing in the dark. The cpu screen is gonna be sooo bad for my eyes >.<

Spring break has started for me! I've been too lazy to update though. Last week Wed, I had no class so Jim & them picked me up to go to Santa Cruz. Funny thing is, Hyung snapchat-messaged me when he found out I had gone to Santa Cruz; what a surprise! Haha he sent me a pic of him pouting & said 'cool invite' awwwh haha too cute. So I told him it was bc he was in class & he said he just got out -.- but too bad! xD Psh, it's not like he never goes :p PLUS it's not like I would've invited him on a family trip xD

Wow I am so lazy to update. I have homework due when I get back from break but I realllyyy have no motivation to work... I'll continue about Santa Cruz & SF later. I still have a week's or 2's worth of update but gahhh too much to write! Even though I think they're all worth remembering... I texted pretty much every encounter to Steph ahahaha but my messages might delete if they get too old...

Needing to keep up with my everyday moments... it does stress me out. I'm probably going to take a break from blogging... Don't know when I'll be back though. Hm.
Right now watching "Office Girls" with mom. Once again, started in the middle lol. So many dramas to watch, I can't. -sigh- Still need to catch up on last week's performances.
Well, peace out! Probably won't see me for a long time.

I just caught up with Minar's & Meimei's posts. I think I almost cried when I was read Minar's post about the package <3 I just really hope that it didn't give her any kind of pressure... 'cause I mean, I can think of 2 ways she can respond to it. *shrugs* I dunno.

I am so tired this weekend. I think I still have last week to post about... anyway it was a crazy weekend! haha I really need to do homework.. presentation tomorrow, test Wed. Lots of stuff due for ANI14... Not too bad. But I want cup noodle right now LOL

Well, I gotta work on the other posts some other time, by then I'd probably forget all the details (though I don't want to forget the interactions hehe)

Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts or at least we are getting there.

I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^

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