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Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/

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I don't even know where to start ^^;

I didn't really think anything was going to happen this weekend that I was coming home. (Since I got back to SJ, I was just getting myself back in to work mode, and trying to wrap my head over what happened the last couple of days).

Only Minar knows at this point. And my sisters lol
Uwah. I still have to finish the U10 concert recap. Why am I so lazyyyy lol I'm lazy to finish this too xD

Well let's see.
Tuesday, 07/03 I planned to go watch "Fireworks" in theaters. Original plan was at Eastridge, but plans changed when I decided to go home with Jim and them. (Oh, speaking of that, the Sunday after the concert, all 4 of us went to Round 1 and spent $$$ x'D It was fun though, not like we're gonna all go again. They had fun at the crane games. Spent a lot there, but we got a lot of toys. I got Jobee the Sumikko Gurashi tempura sushi in 1 try because the guy placed it really nicely & gave me a tip & I executed it nicely lol) None of the toys were mine though LOL
Anyway, so we were still talking & at some point the topic of movies came up & somehow ended up going together (originally was going to go alone if Jobee didn't want to come .-.) I was kinda nervous to be honest since I haven't seen him in so long. Before going, Jo and I went on an errand run for some food/treats for the pettos. Afterward, she wanted to go to Hobby Lobby, so we stopped by T4 and she grabbed a drink while I waited in the car. Jo told me she saw Arianne and Louegie and Arianne told her to tell me to text her. So I did, when we were at Hobby Lobby, and she came over to meet us. We chatted for a bit too, but then I had to go 'cause I was going to be late LOL We ended up just talking about Victor and stuff .-.
Anywayyy, so I ended up barely making it on time. I was joking with Jo that we'll get home and see him parking ahahaha. That's what happened .-. I left pretty much as soon as I got home. He gave me a friendly side-hug. I didn't think much then, but those side-hugs, I save for friends lol He usually doesn't give me that hug, so naturally, there goes my thought lol He paid for the tickets so I paid for food after the movies (we just ate In-n-Out LOL Boi was still hungry but didn't want to go eat anything more) This whole 'day out' gave me a deja-vu feeling from the last time I went to the movies with him ahahaha meaning, he was being him from high school again lol He chose such close seats, so we had to look up a bit lol Side note of a movie review, the movie was so confusing LOL and the end still didn't answer anything. Rating: 4/10. The quality of the animation kept distracting me as well.
Oh, and we were accidentally matching stripes LOL he wore a striped shirt & I wore a romper with striped shorts.

After In-n-Out, we went to visit Louegie and Rayven at PokeSalad. I don't know why lol Louegie gave me such a soft wave; he's so squishy. (Ah, he also saw me drive by in the afternoon since Arianne was dropping him off to work. So now he knows who I met with afterward LOL) Rayven also gave me such a nice greeting haha. I was kinda glad Victor wasn't closing because it probably would've been a lil' awkward... But we waited until they finished closing, and after saying bye to them, we went to a park LOL but the park by Winco ended up having people there so we didn't go out. Oh and starting from after the movie, he kept opening the car door for me lolol feels... weird... ^^;

We were in his car for about an hour maybe? And we just talked about a lot of stuff. Really, it was just him talking LOL Meanwhile, I was contemplating about how and whether to tell him. And then midway talking he said "I just told you my whole life. Tell me stuff" lol but I didn't have anything to tell him. Slowly, I started to get it out of my system. Though it was in between more of his stories LOL It was really late, 11:30pm, past his bedtime lol so he was really sleepy. [We talked a lot so a lot of stuff I didn't include here lol] I was literally dying. The worst confession ever LOL I just wanted to run away but there's nowhere to run away to. ALL I WANTED WAS A TEDDY BEAR BECAUSE I WAS SO NERVOUS. So I finally got to the part where I regretted what I said 2 years ago and he said "Don't regret it. It's not like I was heartbroken or anything. We're still friends" (he said this in a not-so-serious way). So at this point I was ready to give up lol. Before this he asked if I had any guys (like within the 2 years) or if I had a crush on anyone. Technically, no lol And then I asked him and he was like "I'm not gonna lie, there were a few girls" and he was saying something more but said he wouldn't tell me because I'm too innocent. Sorta can guess what he was talking about, but also, not sure? lol

So then he takes me home, but we stay in his car again for another hour. He brings it up again & asks me what I wanna do about it, and I'm still panicking and I say I don't know. In the end, he asked again LOL
~
Him: No?
Me: No~
Him: No? It's a no again?? *whines* Why you do dissss
Me: -laughs exasperatedly- Nooo~ it's not a no~
Him: So it's a yes?
Me: -mumbles- Mm. It's a yes before I run away.
~
And this whole time I couldn't even face him lol He kept asking for a kiss but I couldn't do it ALSKDJF I still wanna scream right now lol .^.
We hugged after, which I thought was goodbye hug? But I guess not? lolol I might've tried to give him a peck on the cheek, but he felt that I was? so he turned his head and that took me by surprise. So when I did give him a kiss, I was so embarrassed I could die. We were still in the hug so I just buried my face in his shoulder LOL and he chuckled at me alsdkjflkadjsf
And then he said "You're so innocent. What am I gonna do with you?"
He knows that was my first kiss >x< [I am dying writing this & then A Pink's "I Like That Kiss" is playing. WHY IS ITUNES LIKE THIS ALSKDFJ]
*sighs* Anyway, it was almost 1am and I probably said "I need to go" like 3 times but yet, there I was lol And he said, "Mm, it's not like I'm stopping you." And true. LOL I probably didn't want to go x'D please save me.
(When I told Jim I ended up saying yes she gave me the OoO look and...
Jim: You did!?
Me: -nods-
Jim: whyyyy he's weirdddd
Me: because you said YOLO!
Jim: I didn't know you were gonna SEE him!
Me: x'D
but she approves that he doesn't smoke or vape lol)
--
[I'll try to finish this up fast lol]
For July 4th, he said he'd come after "work" but it was getting really late and I figured he's gonna be too tired to come over. It was almost 11pm when he messaged me that he couldn't come over. Then he made plans to wake up at 5AM to see the sunrise. I wasn't even sure if I could wake up that early LOL I sorta asked my mom if I could. She said I was crazy pft but she didn't say no.

SO. I ended up waking up before my alarm this morning (because I was sleeping in the crack of the bed & for some reason it was getting really hot. There was room on the bed for Jim, Jo, and the BLANKET. but not me LOL) I jumped when my alarm rang because it was so freakin' loud xD And then I was just scrolling through Twitter/FB when he messaged me if I was awake. And then finally I got up to change lol Sneaking around is so hard LOL Later he tells me, he didn't want to wake up so he was low-key hoping I wasn't awake lol The moment I left the house, my mom woke up and I was like omg I need to go xD And when I opened the door it CREAKED. SO. LOUD. I was abouta faint. (I tried to show Jim how loud the door creaked but it was SILENT) I got out the gate and I heard the door open LOL My mom knew I went out xD My goodness, it wasn't like I was really sneaking out, dang x'D
We were going to light some sparklers so we went to buy a lighter (which is now sitting in my room & I have no idea what to do with it) and was going to find some place to light it but ended up back at the house LOL we lit 'em outside and when we finished he was like "okay, our July 4th is done" or something along those lines haha Afterward, we went to find a place to watch the sunrise. I kept thinking mountains LOL but we were driving downtown and I was just thinking I haven't been on the roof of the parking garage... ahhh. xD So we went to the parking garage and waited for the sun to rise. Feel free to not read the rest LOL might be too mushy x'D

We just hugged, me facing the sun, & he was facing the garage. Kissed a few times but I was still not used to it >//x\\< If he touched somewhere I wasn't comfortable with I just hit him & he'd stop lol We were probably there for an hour and a half. He even talked about the future LOL he said, "it might be too far ahead for you but..." -proceeds to talk about how many kids he wants and how he's not gonna spoil them lol-
I can tell he was really tired. And the way we were standing & him leaning on the wall, his back must've hurt lol his legs ended up getting numb too xD He gave me so many pecks I didn't know what to do >///<
At some point I happened to turn around and a security car is driving toward us. I get scared because first of all, this is embarrassing, second, I thought we were going to get in trouble for being on the rooftop. So I just looked away and I guess the car just kept driving, and I don't know if he's lying but he said "that guy just gave me a thumbs up, and I gave him a thumbs up back." And then apparently the security drove by again, and thumbs-up again. Also, he found out my ears are ticklish.

He also mentioned that he was really waiting, that he wasn't really into anyone else. But who knows? That might be sweet talk. A lot of times, I don't know if he's serious or trying to be cool ^^;

After a while, we left the garage. And he wanted to give me a piggyback ride but we were both tired and he couldn't make it to the next level haha and then he just drops me xD Again, he opens the door for me. He drops me off home and Reno is looking at me like "who are you" ALSDKFJ

I didn't have the key to get in so I had to sneak back in from the back. I thought of staying up, but I wasn't leaving 'til afternoon, so I went back to sleep.
Ah, at this point, I feel like I will be a bad girl > <
My mom told me she thought my aunt came in the morning but saw me leave. She didn't know who I went with, but she guessed who it was LOL
--

He's being pushy with, uh, "stuff" & apologized for being pushy but I'm sure he's gonna be dwelling on that again. Ah, I don't know what to do with him.
He's worried about the long distance too, but what can we do~
Also, we're probably in that stage where you know, everything is kinda new and we're all clingy and whatnot ^^; Aish, this is not good for my kokoro at all. After being official, there are some things I'm more comfortable sending (like cutesy, lovey stickers) and doing, like holding hands and hugging. Ah, & he's so cheesyyyy ALKSDFJ
But the bad thing is, now I miss him easily x'D please send halp.

I'll end this here. Before I die some more lol
My sisters are gonna kill me ^^;

It's hard for me to keep stuff in huh? I mean, I did for a while, but there are times when I just want to tell someone TuT I ended up telling Minar first, then Arlene, then Jo, then Jen & Jim x'D They were all quite... interesting convos (except Jo pft). Some surprising info too LOL I told Jen & Jim more than I did Jo lolol

Jim asked, why did you say no 2 years ago? And when I told her, she was like YOLO. And I was like, you couldn't tell me that before? Jim: well I didn't know all this. LOL
And I forgot who said this but: Mom said it's not dad who's gonna spend the rest of his life with him. That cracked me up. It true but x'D
I wish I had courage 2 years ago...

Ah, well yesterday, we went KBBQ with Leo. Jen came to pick me up & we shopped. Leo & Jim went hiking. We met up at Gen. After eating, we had iTea. We were leaving later than expected & Jen & Jim weren't going to get to work on time so I said to just take me to SF, and I can just go back after they get off work. I napped for 2 hours, woke up and then cleaned Jim's room, facetiming Jo and Mom. Mom kept laughing at my miseryyy. Isaac brought down chicken legs but I ended up not eating them ^^; I didn't get back to SJ 'til 2am & I was super tired so I knocked out pretty fast.
---

I was supposed to talk about the "progress." So, after talking to Minar, I stared at my phone for so long before I finally sent the Pusheen sticker. Ahh, I was dying. I was going crazy. I was just gonna sleep, but he replied me 10min later, but I didn't reply him 'til 30min later because I already put my phone aside. It took me a while to sleep. He didn't reply me until late afternoon the next day. I was super anxious, but we've been talking the past 2 days. There was only 1 time we were on at the same time. Other times, he leaves me on "Read" and doesn't reply until super late, like yesterday, he read my message from either the last night or morning, but didn't reply me until 12am. He replies me at odd times. When he reads my message but doesn't reply me, I kinda worry haha. (The last message with him ends off with something he can't reply to so that's my fault ^^; Arlene told me to say something else but I didn't what to say either)

I don't remember if I mentioned how much this bothered me (I probably did) but after being able to talk to him, I was more at ease, and wasn't as bothered as much. I feel like, even if I never brought it up, never got an answer, I'm fine with that. Maybe I just missed talking... -shrugs-
*I got distracted watching "Prince Wolf" lol but even this ep.8 had a lot of romance advice ALKSDFJK*
Well, either way...
--
Ooh! Also, I built my cart from Michael's today! With the wheels, it won't fit under my table, but Steph let me put it by the door under the light switch. I did organize stuff there (not exactly as I imagined how I would clean my room) but now it just looks crowded even though everything's in its place lol

Yesterday I finished "Ossan's Love" (2018) and uh, it's so cringey I can't, though I laughed a lot. I think it's comedy romance. But anyway, some parts do get intense. Last 2 episodes were a mess, though it ended on a happy note & I was satisfied with that. (Okay, but maybe I wished for a lil' bit longer of their lovey-dovey moments where Haruta finally accepts that he does like Maki and admits it.)
[The ending where Maki surprisingly forces a kiss on Haruta, which Haruta hates, but then he returns so sweetly KILLED ME. Haruta's (funny) confession to Maki hit me hard. My baby Maki finally gets his love returned.]

There were so many important points in the movie. And I hate how I keep relating it back to my situation right now (it's not really a situation???) But the end where Chizu-san told Maki that he should tell Haruta what he really thinks so he doesn't regret anything made me ponder...
Also, "running away before getting hurt"... the other party gets hurt just so you can be selfish you know?
最悪だ... that's why I don't have the courage to send him a message LOL I just thought, if I happen to see him over the summer I'll talk to him? But I highly doubt that's gonna happen ^^; I had a dream where I did happen to see him; he was working at a small coffee shop, Starbucks? I don't really remember what happened, but something like I waved? but all he had on was a poker face.

Ah, I'll blog a bit about my day yesterday later, but this morning I woke up at 8am. I think my biological clock is set ^^;
I woke up from a... weird dream. It felt like I had tears in my eyes? But it's not like they were falling. Maybe that's why I woke up... but also, when I woke up, my heart ached a bit. You know, it's really weird. This isn't the first time I felt a heartache of some sort (I think another one was because of a dream too...) But it just hurt a little bit. I don't even understand the dream. There was like a lover's quarrel, but he ended up being small like Mii-kun, even though he was a normal shortie at first. And then the boyfriend had to explain stuff? I don't know lolol

This morning was cool. The weather seems to have cooled down now. It's gonna be hot again. But I went to Academic Coffee, got a Dragon Pearl Green Tea (green tea + jasmine blend, it smelled good, wasn't too bitter but it wasn't sweet lol) and a churro custard muffin. After finishing, I asked to put up UP10TION posters and leave flyers. Afterward, I went home and watched Ossan's Love (2016). It's weird LOL so much cringe, but aww at the end xD so dumb lol Currently watching the drama series version. And, uh, also much cringe lol it's pretty comedic too. But so many love advice that so indirectly applies to me and I'm just like ALSKDFJ lol -sigh-

I don't know why it's bothering me so much...
And I don't have any courage ahahaha...haha..ha...

ANYWAY. I have work soon. I didn't even do anything for Jonathan x'D Oops.

Waking up early every day sure is taking a toll on me.

This was the first week for SOP. It's not like there's a lot for us to do, but I'm so tired after getting home. I literally napped every time I got home. Well, there's also the heat.
I didn't eat anything today, so I'm chilling at Tea Alley right now. Also, because I'm here to put up poster for U10. What am I to do with so many posterssss. I'm never joining a street team again OTL.

I went to the mall with Jessie after work. Technically, I left early since I wasn't even doing anything. Really there just to answer phone calls because they didn't want to answer. I got home so sleepy, that I accidentally fell asleep (again!) I slept for an hour, woke up, and went back to sleep again. I plan to make kimbap tonight... but what to have for dinner...

I'm still thinking about a cart for the room... maybe Michael's might barely fit... although I do want an iKEA one. I feel like, I'd have 2 carts anyway in the future LOL

Wow, I'm glad I decided to clean my room when the weather was cooler.

These past few days have been hitting 80 degrees +. I would not have survived in the apartment cleaning. I've been going out with Jessie a lot too, on top of going in to the office for SOP. I have work this weekend for Cinnaholic. Yesterday, I also accepted Jonathan's offer to work as an animator on his summer short. It was hard to make up an excuse to not accept it, but also, I want something worthy for my portfolio... I haven't gotten around to improving my technical skills. Mostly because I'm lazy :p
I've been napping a lot too because of the heat. Yesterday, it was so hot, I rolled out my yoga mat and slept on the floor. It barely helped.

Speaking of shopping with Jessie though, I got a few more supplies for my resin crafting. Though I didn't plan to get supplies at Michael's, it was too much of a hassle to be going to Target, Wal-mart, Home Depot, etc, since transportation is inconvenient, and I can't make Jessie my Uber LOL

I made my first resin prism. It came out better than I thought, but since I didn't pre-mix the resin & pastel, the prism came out more opaque than I wanted. I also found out, Daiso resin sucks at curing LOL I thought that my mini UV lamp just sucked, so I cured it like 3 times. The mold ended up being quite hot to the touch. There's a lot of bubbles on the top too because I let in too much air when I mixed. The last items I need are E600 glue & car wax for polishing LOL. While at Michael's, I also saw a 3-tier cart by Recollections. I wanted to get the Raskog cart from iKEA since it's better quality, but I think Raskog is a little bit too tall to fit under my desk. Since Michael's is a little shorter, it might just fit... also, I got's a coupon so it will be cheaper than iKEA's xD (otherwise, iKEA's would be cheaper by $5 lol) Ah, the inconvenience of no car.

I have just a little bit more to clean up in the room...

Oh, the past few days, I spent a lil' much on music ^^; but I couldn't help it~ I haven't been caught up with Bowen's releases, but he released another album sometime last year and I didn't know. It was $12.99 on iTunes because it was "partial album," which meant you had to buy each song separately. Plus, one song was an "Album Only" track. I found the album on Amazon Music for $8.99 for ALL 10 songs. BLESS. I didn't know they were going to give the "Album Only" track either.

Okay, gonna make kimbap tomorrow after work. Maybe after I stop by Tea Alley to put up poster...

I finally forced myself to clean up my room. Today wasn't too hot; actually it was pretty cloudy when I woke up.

My desk was super dusty, so that was what I tackled first. Dumped pretty much everything either on the floor or on my bed. Wiped down everything, then re-organized everything on it. Then I cleaned up under my bed as best as I could. I put away things ie. all my hobby/craft supplies in the boxes (I need new, better boxes x'D) Vacuumed and mopped. Moved a whole lot of my books out onto the living room table. It took me 2 hours+ to do, and then I had to go work. I was on a roll! x'D So I was almost late for work. I made it with 2 minutes left.
--work went well, though I was getting random headaches. Probably from the heat; & we were getting random rushes--
On my lunch break, I bumped into Genai at Boba Bar! So we chatted while I ate, & then she walked me back to work & I gave her my free roll lol The girl who works at Boba Bar is super nice! She always talks to me & she remembers me ahaha

After work, I came home & didn't even know where to start cleaning LOL I ended up putting everything back under my desk > < I really need a shelf...
Well, the room feels clean and organized... I still need to clean the closet shelf and my art supply "bag" in the closet. I have so much laundry this week, it's piling over. Since I did a thorough cleaning, I changed my bedsheets and pillow case, & flipped my bed (it's an old bed okay lolol) and re-organized my plushies. Everything feels neat now.
Tomorrow's my only day of break before I need to be up for SOP this summer, but guess how I'm spending it OTL

Gotta do laundry, probably 2 loads, and then gotta clean the closet and top shelf. I might as well move everything out of the closet, vacuum & mop too huh? OTL Time to let go and throw some things out too...

Oooh, since my credit card FINALLY works after so many issues, I went on a splurge & finally bought albums/songs from iTunes. Around $20. keke~ <3
Okay time to sleep!

Ahhh I'm thinking about it all again, I don't know why...
Everything's in the past. It's already been 3 years. Yet, here I am thinking about it again.
It was sorta floating in the back of my mind, but then Jessie *smh with a smile* She was teasing me when we were at Teahee. Not really teasing me, but she took a snap of me & showed me that she was gonna send it to him. Slightly shocked, I asked her why. She just devilishly smirked, shrugged, and said, "because he snapped me." ALSKDFJ lol
I spent the rest of the day at Jessie's watching random videos and clips 'til 12:30AM. Lying on the floor, at some point, I just started thinking too much ^^; The one moment I remember so clearly was, sophomore rally performance? I have a faint memory of having blogged about it.... but I don't know why. Maybe it was the pent-up stress and nervousness of the performance? After I finished I felt sick to the stomach. Instead of going back up to the bleachers, I sat on the floor near the open doors. I don't think anyone else noticed because I tried not to show it. But he came over to say that we did a great job. Maybe I gave too weak of a response, because he asked if I was okay. Of course, I'm gonna say I was fine. I think I told him I was just a lil' tired. He didn't ask further and just sat there with me.
I wish I can go back to the time.
Had I not been a coward in love, maybe things would've been different 3 years ago...

Currently listening to "The Truth Untold" by BTS. Ha. How true to how I feel right now...
I tried to sing along, but my voice is barely back. Where I can usually go falsetto, I can't even get a squeak out LOL

So speaking of getting better, work these past two days have been fun. I really missed going back to work. On Friday, the 1st day back at work, everyone kept asking if I'm feeling better. I'm feeling better, but I lost my voice LOL I did try to speak up, but it just wasn't working, so I resorted back to whispering. My co-workers were super cooperative and understanding of it. I couldn't call out the names, so whenever I finished an order, I'd get one of them to yell it out. I ended up being really quiet for my whole shift ^^; Towards the end of the day, Priscilla couldn't help but laugh at my whispering. She said it was funny that I had to go up to them to whisper a question etc, but that it wasn't funny that I was sick LOL When I was leaving, Liz and Elisa were like, hope you feel better xD and I tried to say bye to Daniel but of course he can't hear my whisper, & Liz & Elisa were like "BYE DANIEL" ahahahhaa
And then Saturday, my voice slowly started coming back. Still not loud enough, but I managed to do POS, though the customers had a hard time hearing me ^^; If it wasn't too loud I could manage a squeak of the name & they sometimes can hear me. Near the last few hours of work, Zeke came in. After some time, he came over & whispered "are you feeling better?" I couldn't help but laugh a little and told him yeah. He also worked with me at the toppings at some point, and the topping was banana but the writing was a lil' sloppy so he thought it was a different topping, but I told him it was just bananas. Another one was apples, & he never the cut the apple toppings before so I tried to explain it to him, but it was hard to explain it because first of all, I just kinda cut whatever. And that's also what I told him haha but not like I can talk that much anyway. He laughed a lil' & let me finish the order. Also, I was the one at the counter to call out orders, but he was working next to me & said "just let me know when you need me to call them out." One time, I didn't even say anything yet, and he already looked over the name & called it out. We also had a laugh because he pushed too hard & dropped the blueberries in the fridge x'D ahh, Zeke so funny.
Hmm, I don't work 'til Friday again.

Out of order, but today was really hot, so Jessie drove us to Wal-mart to escape the heat. and to buy stuff lol Afterward we went to Teahee for boba. Their uniforms are so cute~ Then we went to Eastridge because she didn't want to go home yet. We went to Round 1, and played some games (not a lot). She wanted a small Mamegoma so we tried for it. I got it on the first try, but it fell when the crane hit the top. Jessie was so shocked ahahaha And we tried a few more times & I forgot when but she just could not stop laughing lol. We were so close on like 3 tries. One time it was on its way to the hole, but dropped right before the hole. Knowing me, of course I came back to it and we tried some more. But then I pretty much ran out of credits ahaha no credit card so no refill for me :p At one of my retries, this dude suddenly plonked himself at the window ie. just slammed his palms onto the windows and stared at the crane. There goes my try ^^; He was like awww and walked away, his friends following him (I think 2 of them at the end were kinda cute but I only glanced at their faces). I just gave Jessie the what-the-heck-just-happened look and we just laughed.

Well, that's the day. I have training with Arlene tomorrow. I want to go out again already~ Can't wait 'til July 3/5 so I can watch "Fireworks" at Eastridge~

Looks like I'm recovering a bit? The coughing seemed to have lessen, but still persistent.

Today was Jobee's graduation. I dressed cute today! I wonder when's the next time I can dress up again... or maybe, when will I start actually putting some effort in how look when I go out LOLOL I can still only whisper. We were at Hot Topic and when I answered one of the staff, she whispered back "why are we whispering" lolol and jokingly called us the "Whisper Squad." And then we were in Macy's, at Finish Line, and one of the staff overheard me whispering to Jim and he whispered "why are we whispering?" and Jim explained to him it was because I was sick and lost my voice and then in his normal voice, he apologized LOLOL it aight though.

I had to meet up with Clarence to give him his ticket. Such an awkward exchange lol he's still precious. 

After grad, I was Jobee's photographer but she kept complaining about taking pictures. Psh, she actually wanted pictures. We ate at China Palace and afterward, Auntie had us go over to her place so she can give us massages (while we help Jacky with his job application) and make me eat that dried tangerine skin thingy. Bleh. We stayed a little long because I was too caught up with his VR set-up. I was tryna beat his archery score, but I also screw up at the 16th wave lolol I'm actually pretty good at aiming (sometimes). I love bow and arrows~ keke my go-to weapon. But anyway, I ended up leaving my phone at his place OTL and we leaving for Bay Area tomorrow. Hopefully, I'm better so I can go to work on Friday.
Man, my throat still itches so I want to keep coughing.

Oh, also, Jo's a fujoshi now LOLOL
Side note, I didn't know "History" had a season 2. I just finished the series today and omg~ I'm having post-webdrama feels. I'm glad it's all happy endings at the end, and it is a closure. I just want more because they're so cute~ <3 I wonder if there is more... I gotta go watch behind-the-scenes and fan lives etc LOL the guys are all cute, so time to find their instagrams and weibos (but not like I'ma follow them on there ahaha)

Labels: history 2

Uwah. 
I've been out sick for a while. Well, not totally. During the last 2 days of finals I was feeling lethargic. Ended up, I was running a fever ^^; & I took a final with it (& went to one probably with it). Since then, my fever's been on and off. I also had to skip work. Ahh, I'm still recovering... but I'd wake up very early because of coughs. It's better now; at least it's not every 3 hours. For that, I had to take Nyquil to be able to sleep. Doc at the health center said it's probably 'cause I caught something & that I'm not recovering from it because it's complicated by allergies. My dry coughing (sometimes) seems to have scratched up my throat, so it feels swollen right now. Othertimes, there's phlegm but I can't get it out. I just want to get better so I can go back to workkkkk.
Speaking of work, Arlene and Erin flew to Texas and the other 2 aren't coming in to work, nor are they answering e-mails. I'm too sick to be doing all this! (Also, because a lot of the stuff I don't know how to do) and I feel bad bothering Arlene/Erin while their on vacay. Currently, I'm answering whatever e-mails I can, though, I'm not even keeping track of my hours.

On a side note, I posted on my Snapchat about me getting sick and people were messaging me~ I figured Deilys would message me at some point lol then there's Nancy as well. Surprisingly John (Sinco) messaged me too. Awww, it's been a while since I talked to him. Heh.

Oh yeah, I had an interesting dream today. Something about solving puzzles, but all I wanted to do was go wash my hands? I think it was in a Wal-mart or something. Somehow I got split up with Jim, and then someone was already solving the riddles, so we just ran until we hit a riddle that hadn't been solved yet. While running, these 2 guys were behind me. They poked my pimple or something on my shoulder? And I held that area and turned around and looked at them like, excuse me? And then at the puzzle, we knelt down, and they were really close to me. The other dude wrapped his arms around my neck and I looked back at him and he just gave me a "what?" kind of look. And I just let him. And they were whispering to each other, saying something like I wasn't this girl they thought I was? So I guess they just mistook me for someone else. I wasn't too weirded out in the dream. It was comfy, I guess? He was cute too? I don't even know ahaha

Okay, gotta get back to work now. All these contacts to put in...

Well hello.
It's finally finals week. I only have 2 tests to study for. I finished one project, and I need to finish my forest painting. Not bad so far. Yesterday I drilled "Latata" & swung my arms too had. Also switched with my co-worker so I closed tonight. So soreeeee. We got a last minute rush at 8pm that went out the door. We didn't close until 9:20pm (we close at 9). It was still a good day. More soreness because I had to mix so much frosting.

I got both my paychecks today! Wow, almost $1000 x'D
And we are getting a raise at Cinnaholic woot woot~
It was so hot today though ToT

I already showered and my hand still smells like chocolate and cinnamon rolls lol
After work tomorrow, I'm going home~ Wheee~

It's been pretty hectic last week. I started training for Cinnaholic & hadn't had time to update. I had to skip Jeff's class for both Tues and Thur because of training, and I couldn't skip Owen's. Jeff was super lenient and supportive too haha I saw him on Thursday before class, & he asked how work was LOL

Well anyway, other than work, there's nothing else. (Except that Owen pretty much said I'm not "Vis Dev" material LOL OTL) I was really anxious about work, but our trainer Daryl was right: we really did learn everything in no time. Everyone who started off at the front of the house (FOH) did not learn back of the house (BOH) aka baking. However, on the 2nd day of training, FOH team did a brief "tutorial" of the baking procedures, but mainly, each team will be doing what they were trained for until we have some down time to swap and learn the other part. It's been super fun, but it's a lot of work. I get along well with my co-workers and I just love them??? I love the corporate team trainers Rachel, Cindy, and Daryl, too. They love to joke around which made training very smooth. They did a lot of positive reinforcement to encourage us. They were firm but weren't yelling at us or anything. Also, I love how for the past 2 days, they watched over us while we were working and jumping in to help whenever needed. Our bosses Liz & Zeke also worked by our side, so they were more "co-workers" than our bosses. I love the idea that everyone's equal. I found out Liz & Zeke weren't really familiar with the frosting and toppings abbreviations LOL and one time Liz asked me what one was & I answered her, and she was like "see, you guys are training me now" AWWW

Our manager Elisa as well. She's super nice! Today I clocked in and Zeke told me to take over for Elisa who was at register, but she was reluctant to go. At first she said she wanted to keep practicing lol and I was fine with that, I would just go find something else to do. But then she said nevermind and let me take register lolol Opening day was super crazy. Well, we had a taste of the busy-ness with VIP night on Thursday, and I invited Steph, Kune, and Jessie for a free cinnamon roll. Junior also messaged me suddenly because he needed to kill some time, but I couldn't eat with him since I had work. But when the event started, it was slow, and I was like, they'll never know how many people I invited LOL so I invited Junior to get a roll. I was working frostings but I saw him walk by the store. On my break I saw my text and he said someone told him it was VIP only & didn't let him LOL it was Daryl omg xD I felt bad but he was still chillin' on campus. So when he got here, we chatted a bit while waiting for his roll. The whole time waiting with him was my break, so after his roll, I had to say bye and didn't even get to eat my roll LOL he still sat around for an hour or so.
But anyway, the busy-ness. The line was never-ending for our $1 roll event. I was super tired. It got hot towards the middle. I was starting to feel maybe light-headed (because of heat and exertion and no fuel(?), and where the hat was on my forehead, I was sweating. I was dying. On my lunch, I went straight to Boba Bar to grab a quick snack. But I could not finish the popcorn chicken. Because Cinnaholic is a vegan store, policy is that employees cannot bring non-vegan food in. So instead of wasting the chicken, I asked the staff there if they could hold on to my food. They were really nice and held it for me. I got it back after work. The 2nd shift's staff was super nice too! The guy was funny haha. I also got dinner for myself and delivered food and milk tea from Gongcha to Arlene in the ART building (I sat with her helping her on her animation). Also bought Steph's food at Boba Bar. The Boba Bar staff started up a light conversation about the long line at work and stuff when I was on my lunch. And when me and Steph were leaving, this lady striked up a conversation about work and she said "See you around" and I'm like AWW. I love being neighbor employees :D

Well that was opening day. Today was post-opening. It didn't seem busy in the morning, but towards the afternoon, there was a rush.
I love the fact that our trainers were really proud of us: "They're ready. The Black Brigade, all in their black uniform." Like AWWW. That makes me really proud of ourselves as well. Our trainers literally disappeared lolol So today was mostly us. They popped in here and there towards the rush. During the rush, we were backed up on rolls so we had a lot of boxes ("clam shells") lined up and stacked up. As soon as the fresh rolls were out. They were placed in the boxes, frosted, and topped and sent out. I don't know how we did it, but our countertops cleared out. Everything happened in a blur it was like was there even a rush? lolol Zeke kept saying "good comeback" and in my head, I was agreeing. After seeing today, I'm sure we can manage anything that comes our way because of our teamwork :D
One thing was, because I did an 8-hour shift, we have to have our 30-minute lunch break, but my 2 10-minute breaks were given at such an odd time, and it was super busy, I didn't take my lunch. So I got in a little trouble with that ^^;
Side note, there was a very enthusiastic customer named Austin who straight up came to the register and said "WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE?" Me, so taken aback, lolol. He made me make the choice for him LOL I really was going to tell him my current favorite, but Daryl was like, just give him the Cookie Monster. In my head I was like, darn, lol. He was so eager he kept trying to give me his credit card LOL I also saw 2 of the upperclassmen. Gave them student discounts keke but I didn't want to be asking everyone whether they were SJSU students :p
I'm probably forgetting stuff, but this is the gist of this busy week.
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Steph actually got off of work around when I did, so we met up to grab some food. We were eating at Jack in the Box until some weird homeless came into the store. So we took our food to Gongcha where I got milk tea. After a while, I saw Andy walking across the street, and I knew where he was headed lolol And Steph being so weird xD greeted him, and introduced herself lol After he got his drink, he came over to join us. We started talking about a bunch of stuff. At some point, Steph went to grab Connect 4 to play. HE KEEPS WINNING ALDSKFJ lol I beat him ONCE x'D Steph went out to see if this one dude was someone she knew and I was saying to Andy how overly social she was, and he was like "it's not a bad thing" and he went to comparing himself, mentioning his depression and introverted-ness and how he's sometimes really social too, and I'm like aww :(
[I never thought he'd have depression, but once again, no matter how someone presents themselves, there's always a possibility that it's actually the opposite under the surface :( ]
He was actually in the PTL because he wasn't feeling well and wanted to be around people(?) I guess. So he ended up spending almost a little more than half an hour with us. I think him playing Connect 4 with us was good for a stress-relief :3
I still can't believe he's 4 years older LOLOL like, you still a kid ahahhaa
He headed back to PTL after one last game, because he "really liked this game" LOL
When we were leaving, Gongcha was closing. Despite being clocked out, Steph helped her co-workers. I ended up helping them too LOL because MIGHT AS WELL. We didn't do much, other than wipe down the tables and stack the chairs.

I did late night laundry, and I'm sad my new oversized Coca-Cola sweater got dirty in the dryer :(
After my laundry, we went over to Kuni's and I got to play with Luna. She was so softtttt~ Kuni's roommate Chelsea's friend Kelan/Kellin/Kellen(?) was there and he was really nice. Kuni's other roommate Alyssa offered me cheesecake~ We were watching "Spiderman: Homecoming" but didn't finish the movie. Everyone was fading away, as in, they just disappeared from the living room LOL and Steph was tired from drinking (she didn't drink too much, and I can't tell if she's drunk, but she always seems drunk or about to be drunk when she's whiny and becomes seemingly lethargic lol)
Well that was my week/day. I'm so tired because I actually woke up 2 hours before my alarm as in, around 7 something AM. because for some odd reason, I was paranoid about being late to work.
Work hours are a little off because the app was glitchy for a day or 2. Also, I turned in my timecard for the other job (with Arlene) and somehow got 28 hours (because she told me to also include the other hours for before the paperwork lol).

Ahh, I'ma shower and sleep. Not even gonna wash my hair LOL goodnight

Hello!
Failed gamjajeon ToT that was depressing. Made me not want to cook anymore ^^; I'm pretty tired of eating curry... lolol I was eating the frozen chicken wings from Costco & I felt like throwing up as I took a bite out of it. I don't know why...

Anywho, I turned in my new hire paperwork so I'm officially official lol Also, Cinnaholic called today about training for Monday. OTL so many things to do already. Can I handle it? haha (hopefully)

Meeting the U10 SJ street crew tomorrow to pick up posters/flyers~
The fan project was so.... SIGH. Slightly annoying. I question the age of the organizer... at least we're going somewhere now... now we'll just see if this will be successful.
I'm so excited for the concert! I can't wait for Pick-a-Pose event O' lawd. I almost decided to take a lot of pictures, but it's $10 per photo, & each member had 3 poses. Before, I was just gonna take photos with Wooshin, Xiao, Kogyeol, and Wei, but after seeing the poses, HNGGG I'ma take 1 photo with each member, but 3 with Wooshin (because his poses were actually nice & not cringy at all LOL)

Ah, despite my failed cooking yesterday, made me happy that I made my own iced vanilla latte today ^^ I also made "cheese rolls" (quesadilla, but instead, rolled lol), cut them in half and packed them in my bento for snacking at the library. I finished my essay at the library, but didn't realize there were no extended study hours, so I had to leave soon. Then I went to Safeway to buy more groceries. It was hot today. I got home and cleaned a bit, then finished the Physics modules for next week. Afterward I took a break and watched Sanrio Danshi and ate dinner. I cried for the backstory episodes of the characters homygawd. lol I need to finish my homework to balance work and school now... OTL
But let me finish Sanrio Danshi LOL

Oh! Also, I miraculously fixed my tablet pen! Don't know how x'D but when I realized the nib doesn't go too far in anymore & when I shook the pen it didn't sound like something's loose inside, so I took the nib out & pushed the pen down on the table & snapped the 2 pieces together again (there was a slight gap between them).

I've been posting very infrequently, mostly because I've been busy.
Last week was quite hectic as I had so many deadlines. I almost thought I wouldn't survive. But I did whew. Thursday was the work day all day because of my meerkat model pack (I managed but I don't really like the artwork) & then it was Bea's late birthday party after. I was mainly photographer, but I ended up drinking a small bottle & taking 2 shots & got an alcohol rash. LeAnn and I got home pretty late, and because I was tired, I thought I'd sleep in. Nope, I woke up around 9:30 and then 11am with no alarm.

I spent the weekend at my sisters'. It was cherry blossom festival! So we dressed nicely--matching pink and black OOTD--and was feeling ourselves so much we took so many selfies lol I totally forgot there'd be artists' booths. Yuumei was there and I finally gave in to buying prints from her; also got a charm & 2 gold and silver foil washi tapes from another artist. We had 2 crepes and took pics. Doggos! Akitas and shibas! We also went to Daiso but the line was long, so we didn't buy anything. (At Serramonte's Daiso we found everything we were going to get, except for the new sakura stationery. I guess it's a good thing LOL) It was pretty hot. We left soon after because Jim had to be home for her friend to pick her up for KBBQ. Meanwhile, me and Jen went shopping. Uhh, we spent too much on clothes & food LOL they were cute rompers, but maybe one would've been enough... but I got a nice backpack at Ross for $15! Now what to do with the other backpack that costs $49.99 ...

I was supposed to get home earlier today since I was going to meet up with the rest of SJ's U10 street crew, but they changed the date so I stayed longer. I also cooked, but nothing came out the way I wanted it too ToT *determined to actually make good food*
Jim and I went to a cafe to do homework. While I was packing my stuff, my tablet pen slipped out and fell on the floor. I thought it'd be fine, until we were at the café and I took a closer look; the nib looked oddly shorter. At some point, I realized the impact may have pushed the nib further in. After more research, it seemed likely that the impact had loosened something inside. I have yet to figure out how to disassemble the pen... At first I thought it couldn't write, but after unplugging and plugging the tablet again, the pen worked. Instead of risking breaking the pen, I'ma attempt to fix it after my projects LOL
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Last week, I took a nap Tues night, and woke up with a mosquito bite on my eyelid. The next day I went to school with a swollen eye, which I had to hide while walking lol AWK. It looked like I was a victim of domestic violence *eye roll emoji*
Oh. And. The day Arlene and I were filming our stop motion (you can watch here) was the day U10 tickets were released. She had to wait for me while I panicked to buy tickets. There wasn't any reason for me to rush anyway. Nothing sold out (bittersweet). But I got VIP tickets, 1st row of that section, but not center center. Instead we chose aisle seat lol (what if they walked down the aisle?) I can't wait until Studio Pav releases info about Pick-a-Pose event omg I'm so ALKSDJF depending on the price, I may or may not take pictures with all 10 of them. EEE so exciteddd. And yes, I'm on the San Jose street crew for their concert. There's only like 6 of us :( They're really nice though~
Also, on Amino, I'm part of the fan project group. Excited to meet and help one of the people who are making and passing out banners and fans~

Okay, time to sleep. Goodnight.

What a busy day today.

I woke up way too early today. Why though ^^;
Finally had class with Owen after having cancelled classes all week before Spring Break. I didn't know it was Owen's birthday today until Dave Chai came in with his class(?) to give him a gift. Students and staff kept stopping by to say happy birthday. Aww, I love my department~ (Side note, Dave Chai asked the class if any of us were going to 14F. I sit in the back, and I nodded quite clearly, and in the corner of my eye, I saw Andy raise his hand. Dave pointed at me and imitated my nod and said something like "just two?" lolol) Also found out, I'll be co-workers with Leti at Cinnaholic! lol (Oh, I guess I didn't mention this? but work called and told me opening will be pushed back to next week)
Afterward I headed to the English department to start on work while waiting for Arlene. We worked until we had to go to class. She shared sushi~ After class we went back to work again, until class.

114 was... ToT I don't want to pose and acttttt ahahaha it was really fun though but just ughhh I don't know how to be a firefighter? Also, we have so much due next week for 114 ToT
I went back to work after class. Arlene had asked Monique, Camila, and this other girl Alex, to help out, so we managed to finish packing the envelopes!
Oh yeah, officially hired because in the afternoon, Dr. Lovell stopped by. And Arlene asked him if I still needed an interview LOL and he just laughed. Seems like he forgot? He jokingly asked "So what do you think you can give to the program?" I was shocked that he threw that question at me I thought I had to answer lol but he was like, no because he was gonna hire me, "no doubt about it" lol So I just need to submit the paperwork. He also decided to pay me for this week's hours, but he suddenly asked me, that I couldn't math lol And I also forgot about Tuesday's hours. But Arlene said just keep track of what wasn't paid to me.
The dang labels wouldn't print after I took the time to figure out how to make the labels. Every time I clicked print, it always would say pending but the bar would complete, and I check the printer jobs and it said 0 pending ALKSDF so I had to print from PDF. At least it worked though but why Microsoft Word, Labels so complicated -.-
It was getting late and Arlene had to go, so I walked her to the lightrail. We made it just in time as the lightrail was just pulling up.

I went back to get Starbucks, and these 2 black dudes (I hate saying this because it always sounds racist lol but it's really for visual purposes ^^; ) followed me into Starbucks too. I wasn't sure what I was getting yet so I told them they could go first, but A kept insisting I go? But I told them that I was still thinking but he kept insisting until like the 3rd time, where he laughed and went ahead. B followed behind A and said to me, "You look cute. You're really beautiful/gorgeous." I was so shocked that all I managed was a really monotone "thank you." (Also, so shocked that I barely recalled the exchange, I just remember the convo along those lines.) After I ordered, they just got their waters, so we passed each other again, and now A said "I like your shirt [sweater]. It's really cute" (was it cute or nice? I don't even know) but I also just said "thank you" ^^; They were pretty polite about it and wasn't trying to chat me up or anything, otherwise my danger radar would be going off lol

Currently at the library with Steph and Jessie. Too bad Alan can't join haha U10 tickets go on sale TOMORROW. Dayum. Gotta fight for tickets HNG. Also, gotta go back into work with Arlene tomorrow too and shoot our stop motion OTL. Aight, gotta head out with Jessie to buy her some food. I am so sore and tired today.

Sadly, Spring Break went by really fast.

To be honest, I didn't really do much. It took a while to get into "break" mode. Halfway through the week, I started Blade & Soul again. Woot! I missed it~ Also, I thought I forgot how to fight, but dayum, I got meself like 3 amazing combos in my first few battles I've never done in my Blade Dancer career. Regrets. But I didn't dance over break ahahaha too hot. Too lazy.

I did end up meeting up with everyone, though we couldn't meet all together. So funny, but I met up with one half, and the other half xD I also hung out with Deilys for a bit. I had milk tea way too often ^^; Also saw Mike and Johnmhar when I was at Quickly with Mina and Meimei. Went to eat Korean food with Jessica and Arianne. Felt just maybe a lil' awkward? Wasn't really sure what to talk about? We gossiped a bit ^^;

Jen also stopped by home for a bit yesterday. And Mike brought Jim back after badminton and hanging out at Coach's. Jim drove me back, but the fam stopped by Old Mission Park to take pictures, but they didn't come out as "model" as Jonny's LOL his photographer friend too pro x'D

Got home and it was too warm ToT it feels so much better right now. Love the cool nights after a hot day. I immediately did an unboxing of UP10TION'S "Invitation" and I got WOOSHIN *0* but then the other 3 cards were Kuhn lol I put him up for trade x'D (Sorry Kuhn! Let me have my biasessss) My bed is a mess... haha time to clean. Gah, need to do work :p I did do like 3 fanarts and working on my chibi style and just doodling. Because since school, I haven't really done art for fun... well I'm off xD

Also, "How to Keep a Mummy" ended cutely ^^ except, I still ship Sora & Tazuki LOL

I've been home for 2 days! Not much done. Uhm, I just know I haven't had any water LOLOL I had milk tea :p
Speaking of milk tea, yesterday I picked up Jo from school and we got cake slices from the Dutch Bakery, shopped at Sakura, and then went to Superfish. Bumped into Carmen, Rain, Victor, and Kimberly. Awkward because I was dressed so sloppily, plus I tied my hair up messily. The owner, I guess, was at the register. He seemed chill. We talked a bit because he asked if I went to Edison (because I wore my badminton hoodie). I told him I just played for them. And he told me he played too, a long time ago. I asked him what school and he was like Stagg, so I was like oh rivals~ and he just chuckled. Me and Jo took a seat while waiting for our drinks. I think Jo saw that they were almost done, so she made me get up so we stood by the counter for the drinks. I was on my phone, and the next thing I knew was, Jo was like "oh!" and going away from the counter. Confused, I looked up and he had come out from behind the counter to "deliver" the drinks to us. He told Jo, "Oh, I was gonna look for you guys." But... we were standing... RIGHT THERE. lolol and he even handed me a straw. Me in my head: I can get it myself >///< LOL He kept asking us how it tasted, while he was talking to Jo, I was trying to poke through the cap, and it kept spilling out. He saw and said, "oh yeah, it gets a little too full" and I got flustered again like, stop watching meeee lol and I turned away to use the table. When I turned back, he was talking to another customer and I thought it was rude to just leave without giving him an answer, so me and Jo waited at the entrance. I finally got eye contact with him, and he was like "good?" and I nodded and returned his thumbs up and quickly left LOL He was really too nice xD I told Jim this and she was like, "why you flustered? he talks to everyone!" LOL

I've been sleeping late because of Jo _(:3_)Z
My hair gets really bad when I come home.
Ice cream~
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We showered the dogs today but Bob had a hard time standing so we couldn't really clean him well. Afterward, we had to go to grandparents' to help them fix the TV. From there, we went to Quickly for milk tea. Jessica left at 5 though, so we were 30 minutes too late haha. Then we stopped by a park because I saw some nice trees~ and we did a spontaneous photoshoot. I made Jo do random poses for future reference lol It's been a while since we were at park.

I've been drawing a lot and been very active on the U10 amino~ such nice people~
Speaking of U10, their ASC schedule was cancelled; well, this week their schedules were cancelled because of 100%'s Minwoo's sudden passing ToT I was not ready for another idol's passing... It's still too soon since Jonghyun's... Me and Jo were so shocked. I may not have as much feelings as with Jonghyun, but the thought that we'll never see Minwoo with 100%... damn.
Rest in Peace Minwoo... </3 032518

Labels: 100%, Seo Minwoo

Went out with Arlene today! Was supposed to meet up with Celine, but she ended up getting sick, so it was just me and Arlene. We met at the Student Union's Starbucks, and I tried their new drink, Crystal Ball Frappucino. I got purple sprinkles, so I'm supposed to have a magical day. Uhm, the day turned out to be very much bad luck LOL

We were going to have a sketchventure but that didn't happen LOL We bussed to Eastridge after we checked out the Kaleid Art Gallery. I found my wish stick on the wagon! :D They hung it up lol We got to the mall, shopped around at Forever 21 (I always end up buying something if I go with her to F21? LOL I got lots of cute socks :3 ) I think we went to Daiso afterward and then we ate at the food court. Oh we also took a photo booth photo. She really likes those ahaha Also my 1st one? Hm, I wish I could take ones at J-town with Polaris (because those probably aren't broken :p) I was super full? And I was feeling uncomfortably full, like I wanted to throw up. But I had one more bite. Must be because I've been eating very little these few days. After we finished eating, we just chilled and talked about a lot of random stuff about school and classmates.

Then we went to Round 1. And this is where the "bad luck" happened. First of all, I met this rude employee? This Asian dude. I got credit refill and then I asked if someone could adjust the toy in the crane, and he gave me an exasperated "ugh" expression? He turned to ask someone I guess? But Arlene and I walked away and I looked at her and said "What the heck? He was so annoyed or something!" We waited a while, and we turned back towards the counter. HE WAS WALKING AWAY. TOWARD THE BOWLING ALLEY. I was so done with him. Luckily, this other dude that I see often (does he remember me? haha) adjusted the toy. After like 3 tries, I gave up and we went to play time play for an hour-ish. Though now that I think about it, I wonder if the girl gave me the right amount? Because we should've gotten 80 minutes, but it felt like we only got 60 minutes? Anyway, we played a lot of the arcade time plays. We ranked in the Jurassic Park one! haha 12th place. Afterward our time play ran out, we went to try the cat again. IT HATES ME. I gave up again and Arlene said I should try this other cat one (it wasn't as cute lol) but it seemed like she liked it, so I was like ok. I wasn't even really thinking about the strategies... guess who got the squishy cat in ONE TRY. I got even more mad about that ahahaha (when I say mad, I wasn't really "mad" lol) so I had to go get the other cat LOL and I told Arlene she could have the cat haha.
So the dude who adjusted it earlier, I had to keep calling him over, to the point where he asked how many times we tried. I told him probably over 20. He said, if you try over 20 times, we get the toy as consolation. So he checked, and yes I played over 20 times, and so he gave it to me. (Also, before that I avoided the rude dude -.-)
Then we headed over to the photo booth. Only one worked, so we took the photos with our cats xD We were gonna go decorate them, but my side of the screen was all glitchy and didn't respond to my pen so I was sad ToT but Arlene decorated them so yay~ Need to learn Japanese to read the screens ahaha We were supposed to have a free photo session because it was given with time play, but we checked and saw that it took my credits, and that I didn't have any more privileges aka my previous time play photo session with Steph. So we asked at the counter, and they had to call over the manager. He explained that it was because our time play ended, but I asked like, wasn't it available for whenever since it showed up before we took the photo. He said he actually wasn't sure, but he still refunded me anyway. Lol We then got milk tea at Quickly, and I got agar boba. IT'S COOL TEA BALLS. lolol

Arlene's Words of Wisdom: Don't keep investing in something just because you had already invested so much in it.
*mindblown*
But she was choking on her laughter at my misery she couldn't tell me LOLOL I was too determined anyway.

We took the bus back to school, and she drove us to get pizza but the Pieology was closed (so probably all locations are closed?) So we went to get Mod Pizza instead. She treated~ probably because I was so salty about the cat LOL I talked to her a lot about relationships LOL We kept going from topic to topic so that was funny. Indirectly told her about Robin and stuff. I don't even remember if I told her his name lol but yeah~ So relaxing and fun talking to Arlene.

Wow I spent all day with her. Steph was volunteering at Zion.T's concert. When I got home, I tried to film "Candyland" for ASC, but I faileedddd. Even though I was cramming the dance this morning, and I got it. But trying to do it from memory with little practice was hard. So I guess I'm only sending in the good 2 parts LOL I'ma try to do fanart? But I only have 3 hours before the deadline LOL
Peace! I'ma try anyway. Also, parents are picking me up tomorrow wheeee

Yes! So yesterday I had my interview with Cinnaholic. I was super nervous, also because I didn't have a formal attire. Thank goodness it wasn't required. I was 10 minutes early. I wasn't sure how to enter because the store was still under construction. I waited for 5 minutes. The door opened because some construction workers needed to go in, and the lady who opened the door turned to me. She guessed who I was haha. She told me there was one other girl, so I thought we were going to wait for her, but we started talking and I guess we started the interview? ahaha afterward she told me that if they "decided to hire [me]... but technically you're in. let me just ask the owner" and she goes and talks to the owner. She came back to me saying "Ok so yeah, you're in" and then she tells to fill out some forms. I also met both the owners and they kept asking me if I had any questions but I didn't ^^; Nice! So I landed the job right then and there.

Also, yesterday morning I found out UP10TION IS COMING TO SAN JOSE. I couldn't sleep the night before that, but even though I woke up around 9am, I still stayed awake because I saw that news lol I am so down for hi-touch. ALSKDJF a funny message with Jo. Because I was like whatever with my outfit, Jo said she thought I'd "go tryhard" for U10 but she guesses not lol after I told them I got hired, Jo was surprised haha guess who's gonna be saving up for hi-touch. Steph though: "if you get the tickets" ToT
It was a good day because that morning was my first figure drawing session, and it was featuring the Wushu club. They posed for it. It was really fun~ I hadn't figure drawn in forever, but Arlene and Jewlinna were so supportive, I didn't even care how bad it was. I just joked around about it with them. The gestures didn't even come out that bad? Still maybe a little stiff, but hey, better than I ever could in the past years.

I finished the last of my meerkats this afternoon. I also finished my animatic for 114, though I need to do some more timing. I used Opentoonz, which is a free animation software from Ghibli. I heard it crashes a lot, but what program doesn't? lol I had install ffmpeg because the default outputs doesn't have video output. So I had to download ffmpeg through Homebrew. Ah, I really need to do a factory reset on my Mac, but not until I have everything I need on a new harddrive, which I'm hopefully getting over spring break or so... I hate how Mac has this "Other" in storage. It's like over 100gb for me and I don't know what it is! I probably won't clear my Mac until after this semester though...

Meanwhile, I've been slacking with workouts and even stretches. The weather's been weird lately too. Ah, I seem to be productive only on weekends OTL lol Still need to clean, but now I don't think it's the right time? sigh, when would it be ^^;
Speaking of productivity, this making of Your Name is a really great watch. I really love watching the behind-the-scenes ~

Ahh, HnA is very likely going to shut down soon. I'm super sad because Dynamic Chord is releasing stuff soon and TsukiPro still has season 2. I mean, I shouldn't even have had access to the music, but when you get a taste of something good, it sucks to go back, right? lol It's probably for the best. But that means I might buy more CDs...

Which brings me to the topic of materialistic wants.
I have a lot of stuff. I want to own a lot of stuff too. Can't be helped.
I mean it can lol It just takes a lot of determination and willpower to not buy things. And yeah, to be honest, I can definitely live with what I have, and less, even.
But I'm gonna try harder not to buy stuff in the future. Ah, I still need to do a thorough declutter... and it's the perfect time right? Spring cleaning!
I want to feel free ~ lol
Speaking of which, with HnA down, it means one less thing I'm keeping up with ^^; I would need to make an effort to keep up with DynaChord...
--

Ah, I really didn't feel like doing homework. Wow. Procrastinated since after class. (By the way, I wonder how bad I did on that test? ^^; ) Class is "optional" tomorrow lol but I think I'ma skip. Ugh, I still need to draw my meerkats...

I was feeling bloated... and I didn't even eat a lot? Nyaaa my belly came back ToT I was changing and looked in the mirror, and I'm like "what is thaaaat" lol I have been keeping up with my morning and night stretches. I'm still sore from this Sunday. I think I'll do abs tomorrow... (was gonna do them tonight, but I'ma do some work ^^; )

I just don't get it.

I guess it's hard for someone who never actually has depression to understand someone who does. Slumps and depression are just different. But why... why do you self-deprecate? Like, what purpose? What makes you think that in the first place? I can go on and on using my roommate as an example (because she's been extremely self-deprecating lately. I don't know is it because of guys? I mean, she has been drinking more than usual -.- ) Even I noticed she cussed more than usual, she asks if she's ugly more often than usual. I feel like it's because she's been talking to guys... O.O And then she gets pretty anxious when they don't talk to her or reply her. Dude, it's just boys. Like she said, "boys ain't shit," so why is she so riled up? This happened too often in too short of a time. I feel like I'm running out of patience, tolerance, compassion etc for her. It's draining. I barely just got myself back together. Maybe that's why I have less tolerance than usual.
I woke up from my nap just slightly bothered by some recent events.

--
"The Little Prince" Review
I just finished the short novel. This was quite an interesting read because it felt like nothing was answered. I think it actually makes you think a lot. The ending was pretty sad. It was hard to decide whether the ending was this or that because it just felt so open-ended. I think it makes you question many things because since the beginning, the Little Prince questioned everything. Look at that, the novel felt so unsure, I wrote "I think" a lot for this short paragraph haha
I thought I had lots to say about it, but it's pretty hard to put into words.

--
I stayed up 'til 4:30am last night painting my dang tree. It didn't come out good, but in class, my critique wasn't even that bad. The main thing Owen said was "do the little shapes" (and other changes) and I felt quite relieved. It was a good day because I enjoyed the light morning rain. Also, Genai sat next to me today so I had a nice chat with her ^^ We got let out early so I went to the Pencil Test Lab to finish my animation. I didn't want to think about it anymore so I just did it. I finished about an hour-ish earlier. It looked bad. And I really liked my other classmates' works ToT But Jef said it looked good (though no one liked it LOL that awkward silence... haha). And I was really glad I went up to get a critique from him. At first I didn't want to because it's just so bad. But Hsiu Hsiu's right: the critique is good for future reference. And Jef was fun ahaha I can't get over how he kept meowing my goodness. Anyway, the critique was fun. I also enjoyed chatting with my group mates, Hsiu Hsiu and Emerson. We researched 'glitter bomb' because it was going to be in Hsiu's animation, and we wanted to know how it worked xD Meanwhile, Emerson didn't want to do thumbnails for the next project LOL Even though I really thought about skipping class, I knew I was gonna miss out on a fun day. I really love Hsiu Hsiu (& her style lol) and I told her I wanted to draw Moonbyul & she was like "do it!" xD I love my A/I friendssss why are they so carefree and supportiveee ToT

And then I came home and napped.
I'm also still super sore from my 10 min workout Sunday morning? Like, whyyyy x'D (okay, it's because I hadn't exercised in forever)
OH. I also got a call from Cinnaholic for an interview on Friday. I'M NERVOUS.

Labels: The Little Prince

I am dying ^^;
I did a lot of work today, and I'm feeling pretty good, though drained. I was off schedule a lot, but I still managed to finish all my tasks, except one. Who knew just watching YT videos about productivity and getting their lives together would motivate me so much haha.

I was also listening to Lavendaire's podcast. Amazingly, I wasn't stressing out while animating. I just didn't think when I was drawing my frames, because when I overthink, I tend to not get anything done. Also, Andy came in to the PTL. Surprisingly, I had a comfortable chat with him. Usually I get nervous or something and say it strains me to reply, but I just talked to him like I was talking to Genai or someone. Anyway, I managed to work a bit on everything this weekend. Not sure if that's actually good or not lol

I'm really making an effort to sort of make better habits.
I plan to wake up early tomorrow for a run. And then attempt to eat breakfast, but there really isn't anything to eat lol
I will go do my stretches now before I sleep.

Hey! Just wanted to check in on my day of trying to be more productive.

Step 1 was, I turned off most of my notifications! Which I found to be pretty helpful. I got a lot of Kakao and Snapchat messages but I didn't check them 'til after. I also attempted Tide. I think it helped, it's just that, I set the timer for too long for the first round, which drained much of concentration and I wanted to be distracted. I made sure I took my break away from my chair.

Overall, it's been a good day! I watched Ted Talks and other organizational/studying videos on Youtube. I finished my Physics term paper and worked on my animation. Though as I started working on my animation, I really didn't want to keep going ^^; (in my previous post, I mention a Lavendaire video that hit the bull's eye. And one of her points was, you procrastinate because you don't want to do something because you know it's difficult. Or something along those line) I tried to not think too much when working, which meant my work looked more loose.
Arlene said my animation felt stiff. And that's understandable because I really overthought about them and made them too clean.

Anyway, I will keep trying to change my habits and will continue to productivity day 2 tomorrow! Tonight at 2am, we'll jump ahead an hour ToT

A few of my favorite videos from Lavendaire :3


Purpose in Life
Take Control
Finding Meaning in Life
Plan Your Life
3 Things All Creatives Need to Start Doing (More Of) - I really love this video because every single point in this video was a bull's-eye.

Time Management
Stop Procrastinating
The Power of NOW.
Just DO.

Last night, I took some steps to be more productive. I downloaded two apps, one called Bright Todo which is a to-do app with tasks for daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly and another called Tide, which is a focus timer. I'm still not very good with planning my day and actually going through it, but baby steps. I'm trying to find something comfortable for me.
For another to-do app, Aileen (Lavendaire) likes to use Wunderlust. I didn't because I was lazy to make an account lol If you use, let me know how you like it!

Labels: Lavendaire

Currently watching Lavendaire. Found out she released an EP called "Honestly"! The songs are really good. You can stream on Soundcloud~ you can buy it on bandcamp or iTunes :3
She's been my current inspiration, like, she's so cool. I have her podcast on iTunes, so I'ma listen to them soon~ She also gives a lot of free worksheets to get your life together LOL

Oh yeah, also applied for Cinnaholic LOL I'm so glad I worked at Snowman Hot Chocolate x')

Spent the day at SF with Steph. We went to Studio Ghibli's pop-up store and I spent over $300. Sadly, they ran out of the limited edition tote bags for spending over $100 ToT Anyway, I love everything I bought today~ Planned for a vlog, so I videoed the whole day :3 Gotta edit that (also didn't do my Monsta X one haha) Anyway, it's been a long day. Not to mention, we're gonna lose an hour on Sunday *cries* so I have to do as much homework as I can... *sigh*

Favorite song recently: Star Wind Flower Sun; Starry Night
Also, a throbbing headache suddenly? I hope it's not because of my ear... can't say it's an infection though ^^;

Hm, confidence huh?
Minar and I were just talking about being confident (in a different scenario). But I just wanna talk about being confident.

I lack confidence.
In so many aspects.
But one, definitely, is in my work. I'm always afraid to show my work because everyone sees it. Everyone judges it. It's never personal, and I understand that it's all beneficial, but it's still difficult y'know? I'm slowly getting better with accepting that I gotta show my work. I just gotta stop comparing and degrading myself.

My professors say, don't degrade yourself. Don't pre-judge yourself (like with your portfolio for jobs etc.) & let them judge you. Don't apologize for your work. It's like, don't point out your mistakes because it's very possible they hadn't seen it or even thought it was a mistake.

I know the anxiety increases even more when I know for a fact that I didn't put all my effort in the work. I mention this because today, I barely finished my meerkat turnaround, and I just stopped thinking to just do it. I knew we were gonna critique it. It was bad, I thought. Compared to my classmates'. At the same time, I did better than I thought. I did better than I thought, but I still thought it looked bad. During my critique though, my professor said "these look good but... -critique-" and I was so relieved at the same time thinking, how. It's not the first instance where I thought my work looked really bad, but my professor would critique it & say it looked good.

So yeah, a lesson that I need to really remind myself: it may look bad, but to someone else, it could look really good.

--
Side note, I spent a lil' over $30 buying this artbook series of 3 at Flecks Book Sale. Also, we were waiting for them to finish setting up. I was standing between Arlene and Angeline. Andy comes over and greets Stephen and Jing, who were across from us, but they were preoccupied watching something on her phone. I don't even know if they greeted him back ^^; and then he turns to us, and greets me. By name. And I did greet him back. Afterward he just stood there on his phone next to Arlene, and it was sorta awkward (for my part). He left a little bit later, and Arlene does the nudge-nudge to me, and I'm like there wasn't anything to talk about because I saw him in class this morning. lolol. Later she tells me that she had waved to him, but he didn't wave back LOL he must not have seen her xD

I am quite sleepy. I'm glad I got over this week of school. I skipped hip hop for 2 weeks.
Also, going to start listening to Lavendaire's podcast on iTunes. Not to mention UP10TION DROPPED THE MV TEASER THIS MORNING and visual image teaser. And I was almost late to class. And I almost cried because WOOSHIN. I was so hyped. And then during my late class, they dropped the freakin' visual image teaser solo shot, of WOOSHIN. Like, he looks SO GOOD in his photo, and you can tell it's "different" from the other ones, so far. Yo, I'm so ready for them.
Should I buy their album?

Currently in the Pencil Test Lab, waiting for club meeting. I have work to do! but there's a lot of people in the lab .-. My stomach is growling. Waiting for pizzaaaa

Earlier I was at my locker, and Ray passed by and I had looked up. Usually we wouldn't greet each other, but we made eye contact lol also, because I was wearing SHM sweater. Why he seem down...?
I just opened the door for Andy LOL
Wow it's dangerous to blog here ahaha
What was I gonna post about... haha

Hm, is it because it's spring...?
会いたい?---
I had insomnia a few nights ago. I don't remember when haha did I ever mention it? But anyway, I couldn't sleep, and it could be because I had a large milk tea, but I just suddenly started having these thoughts. It was really weird o.o Like, I surprised myself lol Just random thoughts about Robin. Why suddenly? I don't even know. And now, if my brain isn't too preoccupied, I tend to get these infrequent thoughts. Daydreams... Message me privately if you're really curious haha but it's kinda embarrassing :p

Since I've moved in to this apartment, a lot of things have piled up, from on my desk to on my shelf to in my closet. One day, when I have my own permanent place (or you know, another apartment) where I at least have my own room, I can't wait to really organize and just decorate how I want.

Living with sisters mean we always have a shared space. Not that I mind LOL but that means 4 times the amount of stuff. I think we all have a bad habit of "I will need this later" or "This will come in handy in the future" and often times, that's probably like 3/10 times.

Watching all these organized desk tours on YT makes me want to keep myself organized. I don't know... I feel like just fixing myself up. While I'm still working on my sleeping schedule (can't really do much due to workload, but hey, that's something -procrastination- that I need to deal with first), I'm taking baby steps: drinking more water, waking up earlier, showering earlier, eating dinner early, snacking less, and spending less. And to be honest, I've felt a lot better, despite the stress from school. I feel like I can enjoy more things. Right now, the thing I really need is a shelf and/or drawers LOL
How to organize my art supplies, is the question... they're too big. I mean, they're fine in the closet but they stick out... hm...

Meanwhile, I found a new Youtuber, Lavendaire, to watch~
I think this video (12 Habits of Successful Creatives) is something that I really needed.

// 12 HABITS OF SUCCESSFUL CREATIVES
1. Create consistently
2. Don't wait for inspiration
3. Understand that perfection is the enemy
4. Follow their intuition
5. Love to learn
6. Willing to take risks
7. Have a sacred space to create
8. Give themselves space to daydream, be aimless, be bored
9. Fill their inner creative well
10. Meditate or practice mindfulness
11. Practice self care
12. Reinvent themselves

Take care of yourself! (The camera is cool lol)
Also guys, make sure you manage your stress!

Song recommendation: iONE - I Don't Love You
Wow, for once I don't want to blog haha

Anyway, yesterday Steph and I spent our day at Eastridge. Of course, we're not on time because she didn't get up 'til 1pm and also, she had other stuff to do before we went. It was raining when we were out. Ugh, I'm too lazy to repeat anything (ranted to friends and twitter) but there were kids on the bus & one of them gave me an attitude and the chaperone dared to say "They're only 3rd, 4th graders. At least they're better than adults." Uhm... WTactualF. She got me pissed all the way to mall.
[Also, what. I can't believe they broke up. Uhm, I know I didn't really know Cheng, but my impression of him was, he was a nice guy. He really didn't look like the cheating type... you really can't judge a book by its cover. I wonder if Victor knew... I hope Jessica's okay... I don't know what kind of support Arianne's giving her... lolol]

At the mall, we got our tickets to Black Panther, and then we automatically went to Round 1 LOL Steph didn't want to spend but I bought some credits, and got a toy in 4 tries ^^ Had I done it right, I could've gotten it in 2, or even 1, tries lol I felt pretty accomplished hehe. Then we shared a crepe because I was craving. And of course, we had to do a stop at Daiso lol

The movie was really good; I ended up crying towards the middle/end. My eyes were slightly puffy after the movie. At home, my eyes were really tired. I was tired. lolol

Overall, I spent about $60 (which was my guess before after Round 1 lol) but after work today, I'm back down to having spent only rent money haha That's not the correct way of thinking though lol Work was fun today like usual. Jessie helped out again, and we also ate food~ free food & $60 haha Jessie also thought Qiwen was a lot like Samantha LOLOL

Afterward, I went with Arlene to the art building so she could finish her reel for midterm. She rushed because it was snowing in Milpitas lol did I mention there was snow in Stockton/Sacramento a few days ago? LOL but yeah, she got back, and there was only a layer of hail. I went to the Pencil Test Lab to work, though I didn't get much done. First of all, I was very distracted. Plus, I was very reluctant to work. Second, I kept erasing and re-drawing and erasing and re-drawing. So I'm back at square 1. -sigh- I actually have quite a lot to do... OTL.

I don't even know where to start ^^;

I didn't really think anything was going to happen this weekend that I was coming home. (Since I got back to SJ, I was just getting myself back in to work mode, and trying to wrap my head over what happened the last couple of days).

Only Minar knows at this point. And my sisters lol
Uwah. I still have to finish the U10 concert recap. Why am I so lazyyyy lol I'm lazy to finish this too xD

Well let's see.
Tuesday, 07/03 I planned to go watch "Fireworks" in theaters. Original plan was at Eastridge, but plans changed when I decided to go home with Jim and them. (Oh, speaking of that, the Sunday after the concert, all 4 of us went to Round 1 and spent $$$ x'D It was fun though, not like we're gonna all go again. They had fun at the crane games. Spent a lot there, but we got a lot of toys. I got Jobee the Sumikko Gurashi tempura sushi in 1 try because the guy placed it really nicely & gave me a tip & I executed it nicely lol) None of the toys were mine though LOL
Anyway, so we were still talking & at some point the topic of movies came up & somehow ended up going together (originally was going to go alone if Jobee didn't want to come .-.) I was kinda nervous to be honest since I haven't seen him in so long. Before going, Jo and I went on an errand run for some food/treats for the pettos. Afterward, she wanted to go to Hobby Lobby, so we stopped by T4 and she grabbed a drink while I waited in the car. Jo told me she saw Arianne and Louegie and Arianne told her to tell me to text her. So I did, when we were at Hobby Lobby, and she came over to meet us. We chatted for a bit too, but then I had to go 'cause I was going to be late LOL We ended up just talking about Victor and stuff .-.
Anywayyy, so I ended up barely making it on time. I was joking with Jo that we'll get home and see him parking ahahaha. That's what happened .-. I left pretty much as soon as I got home. He gave me a friendly side-hug. I didn't think much then, but those side-hugs, I save for friends lol He usually doesn't give me that hug, so naturally, there goes my thought lol He paid for the tickets so I paid for food after the movies (we just ate In-n-Out LOL Boi was still hungry but didn't want to go eat anything more) This whole 'day out' gave me a deja-vu feeling from the last time I went to the movies with him ahahaha meaning, he was being him from high school again lol He chose such close seats, so we had to look up a bit lol Side note of a movie review, the movie was so confusing LOL and the end still didn't answer anything. Rating: 4/10. The quality of the animation kept distracting me as well.
Oh, and we were accidentally matching stripes LOL he wore a striped shirt & I wore a romper with striped shorts.

After In-n-Out, we went to visit Louegie and Rayven at PokeSalad. I don't know why lol Louegie gave me such a soft wave; he's so squishy. (Ah, he also saw me drive by in the afternoon since Arianne was dropping him off to work. So now he knows who I met with afterward LOL) Rayven also gave me such a nice greeting haha. I was kinda glad Victor wasn't closing because it probably would've been a lil' awkward... But we waited until they finished closing, and after saying bye to them, we went to a park LOL but the park by Winco ended up having people there so we didn't go out. Oh and starting from after the movie, he kept opening the car door for me lolol feels... weird... ^^;

We were in his car for about an hour maybe? And we just talked about a lot of stuff. Really, it was just him talking LOL Meanwhile, I was contemplating about how and whether to tell him. And then midway talking he said "I just told you my whole life. Tell me stuff" lol but I didn't have anything to tell him. Slowly, I started to get it out of my system. Though it was in between more of his stories LOL It was really late, 11:30pm, past his bedtime lol so he was really sleepy. [We talked a lot so a lot of stuff I didn't include here lol] I was literally dying. The worst confession ever LOL I just wanted to run away but there's nowhere to run away to. ALL I WANTED WAS A TEDDY BEAR BECAUSE I WAS SO NERVOUS. So I finally got to the part where I regretted what I said 2 years ago and he said "Don't regret it. It's not like I was heartbroken or anything. We're still friends" (he said this in a not-so-serious way). So at this point I was ready to give up lol. Before this he asked if I had any guys (like within the 2 years) or if I had a crush on anyone. Technically, no lol And then I asked him and he was like "I'm not gonna lie, there were a few girls" and he was saying something more but said he wouldn't tell me because I'm too innocent. Sorta can guess what he was talking about, but also, not sure? lol

So then he takes me home, but we stay in his car again for another hour. He brings it up again & asks me what I wanna do about it, and I'm still panicking and I say I don't know. In the end, he asked again LOL
~
Him: No?
Me: No~
Him: No? It's a no again?? *whines* Why you do dissss
Me: -laughs exasperatedly- Nooo~ it's not a no~
Him: So it's a yes?
Me: -mumbles- Mm. It's a yes before I run away.
~
And this whole time I couldn't even face him lol He kept asking for a kiss but I couldn't do it ALSKDJF I still wanna scream right now lol .^.
We hugged after, which I thought was goodbye hug? But I guess not? lolol I might've tried to give him a peck on the cheek, but he felt that I was? so he turned his head and that took me by surprise. So when I did give him a kiss, I was so embarrassed I could die. We were still in the hug so I just buried my face in his shoulder LOL and he chuckled at me alsdkjflkadjsf
And then he said "You're so innocent. What am I gonna do with you?"
He knows that was my first kiss >x< [I am dying writing this & then A Pink's "I Like That Kiss" is playing. WHY IS ITUNES LIKE THIS ALSKDFJ]
*sighs* Anyway, it was almost 1am and I probably said "I need to go" like 3 times but yet, there I was lol And he said, "Mm, it's not like I'm stopping you." And true. LOL I probably didn't want to go x'D please save me.
(When I told Jim I ended up saying yes she gave me the OoO look and...
Jim: You did!?
Me: -nods-
Jim: whyyyy he's weirdddd
Me: because you said YOLO!
Jim: I didn't know you were gonna SEE him!
Me: x'D
but she approves that he doesn't smoke or vape lol)
--
[I'll try to finish this up fast lol]
For July 4th, he said he'd come after "work" but it was getting really late and I figured he's gonna be too tired to come over. It was almost 11pm when he messaged me that he couldn't come over. Then he made plans to wake up at 5AM to see the sunrise. I wasn't even sure if I could wake up that early LOL I sorta asked my mom if I could. She said I was crazy pft but she didn't say no.

SO. I ended up waking up before my alarm this morning (because I was sleeping in the crack of the bed & for some reason it was getting really hot. There was room on the bed for Jim, Jo, and the BLANKET. but not me LOL) I jumped when my alarm rang because it was so freakin' loud xD And then I was just scrolling through Twitter/FB when he messaged me if I was awake. And then finally I got up to change lol Sneaking around is so hard LOL Later he tells me, he didn't want to wake up so he was low-key hoping I wasn't awake lol The moment I left the house, my mom woke up and I was like omg I need to go xD And when I opened the door it CREAKED. SO. LOUD. I was abouta faint. (I tried to show Jim how loud the door creaked but it was SILENT) I got out the gate and I heard the door open LOL My mom knew I went out xD My goodness, it wasn't like I was really sneaking out, dang x'D
We were going to light some sparklers so we went to buy a lighter (which is now sitting in my room & I have no idea what to do with it) and was going to find some place to light it but ended up back at the house LOL we lit 'em outside and when we finished he was like "okay, our July 4th is done" or something along those lines haha Afterward, we went to find a place to watch the sunrise. I kept thinking mountains LOL but we were driving downtown and I was just thinking I haven't been on the roof of the parking garage... ahhh. xD So we went to the parking garage and waited for the sun to rise. Feel free to not read the rest LOL might be too mushy x'D

We just hugged, me facing the sun, & he was facing the garage. Kissed a few times but I was still not used to it >//x\\< If he touched somewhere I wasn't comfortable with I just hit him & he'd stop lol We were probably there for an hour and a half. He even talked about the future LOL he said, "it might be too far ahead for you but..." -proceeds to talk about how many kids he wants and how he's not gonna spoil them lol-
I can tell he was really tired. And the way we were standing & him leaning on the wall, his back must've hurt lol his legs ended up getting numb too xD He gave me so many pecks I didn't know what to do >///<
At some point I happened to turn around and a security car is driving toward us. I get scared because first of all, this is embarrassing, second, I thought we were going to get in trouble for being on the rooftop. So I just looked away and I guess the car just kept driving, and I don't know if he's lying but he said "that guy just gave me a thumbs up, and I gave him a thumbs up back." And then apparently the security drove by again, and thumbs-up again. Also, he found out my ears are ticklish.

He also mentioned that he was really waiting, that he wasn't really into anyone else. But who knows? That might be sweet talk. A lot of times, I don't know if he's serious or trying to be cool ^^;

After a while, we left the garage. And he wanted to give me a piggyback ride but we were both tired and he couldn't make it to the next level haha and then he just drops me xD Again, he opens the door for me. He drops me off home and Reno is looking at me like "who are you" ALSDKFJ

I didn't have the key to get in so I had to sneak back in from the back. I thought of staying up, but I wasn't leaving 'til afternoon, so I went back to sleep.
Ah, at this point, I feel like I will be a bad girl > <
My mom told me she thought my aunt came in the morning but saw me leave. She didn't know who I went with, but she guessed who it was LOL
--

He's being pushy with, uh, "stuff" & apologized for being pushy but I'm sure he's gonna be dwelling on that again. Ah, I don't know what to do with him.
He's worried about the long distance too, but what can we do~
Also, we're probably in that stage where you know, everything is kinda new and we're all clingy and whatnot ^^; Aish, this is not good for my kokoro at all. After being official, there are some things I'm more comfortable sending (like cutesy, lovey stickers) and doing, like holding hands and hugging. Ah, & he's so cheesyyyy ALKSDFJ
But the bad thing is, now I miss him easily x'D please send halp.

I'll end this here. Before I die some more lol
My sisters are gonna kill me ^^;

It's hard for me to keep stuff in huh? I mean, I did for a while, but there are times when I just want to tell someone TuT I ended up telling Minar first, then Arlene, then Jo, then Jen & Jim x'D They were all quite... interesting convos (except Jo pft). Some surprising info too LOL I told Jen & Jim more than I did Jo lolol

Jim asked, why did you say no 2 years ago? And when I told her, she was like YOLO. And I was like, you couldn't tell me that before? Jim: well I didn't know all this. LOL
And I forgot who said this but: Mom said it's not dad who's gonna spend the rest of his life with him. That cracked me up. It true but x'D
I wish I had courage 2 years ago...

Ah, well yesterday, we went KBBQ with Leo. Jen came to pick me up & we shopped. Leo & Jim went hiking. We met up at Gen. After eating, we had iTea. We were leaving later than expected & Jen & Jim weren't going to get to work on time so I said to just take me to SF, and I can just go back after they get off work. I napped for 2 hours, woke up and then cleaned Jim's room, facetiming Jo and Mom. Mom kept laughing at my miseryyy. Isaac brought down chicken legs but I ended up not eating them ^^; I didn't get back to SJ 'til 2am & I was super tired so I knocked out pretty fast.
---

I was supposed to talk about the "progress." So, after talking to Minar, I stared at my phone for so long before I finally sent the Pusheen sticker. Ahh, I was dying. I was going crazy. I was just gonna sleep, but he replied me 10min later, but I didn't reply him 'til 30min later because I already put my phone aside. It took me a while to sleep. He didn't reply me until late afternoon the next day. I was super anxious, but we've been talking the past 2 days. There was only 1 time we were on at the same time. Other times, he leaves me on "Read" and doesn't reply until super late, like yesterday, he read my message from either the last night or morning, but didn't reply me until 12am. He replies me at odd times. When he reads my message but doesn't reply me, I kinda worry haha. (The last message with him ends off with something he can't reply to so that's my fault ^^; Arlene told me to say something else but I didn't what to say either)

I don't remember if I mentioned how much this bothered me (I probably did) but after being able to talk to him, I was more at ease, and wasn't as bothered as much. I feel like, even if I never brought it up, never got an answer, I'm fine with that. Maybe I just missed talking... -shrugs-
*I got distracted watching "Prince Wolf" lol but even this ep.8 had a lot of romance advice ALKSDFJK*
Well, either way...
--
Ooh! Also, I built my cart from Michael's today! With the wheels, it won't fit under my table, but Steph let me put it by the door under the light switch. I did organize stuff there (not exactly as I imagined how I would clean my room) but now it just looks crowded even though everything's in its place lol

Yesterday I finished "Ossan's Love" (2018) and uh, it's so cringey I can't, though I laughed a lot. I think it's comedy romance. But anyway, some parts do get intense. Last 2 episodes were a mess, though it ended on a happy note & I was satisfied with that. (Okay, but maybe I wished for a lil' bit longer of their lovey-dovey moments where Haruta finally accepts that he does like Maki and admits it.)
[The ending where Maki surprisingly forces a kiss on Haruta, which Haruta hates, but then he returns so sweetly KILLED ME. Haruta's (funny) confession to Maki hit me hard. My baby Maki finally gets his love returned.]

There were so many important points in the movie. And I hate how I keep relating it back to my situation right now (it's not really a situation???) But the end where Chizu-san told Maki that he should tell Haruta what he really thinks so he doesn't regret anything made me ponder...
Also, "running away before getting hurt"... the other party gets hurt just so you can be selfish you know?
最悪だ... that's why I don't have the courage to send him a message LOL I just thought, if I happen to see him over the summer I'll talk to him? But I highly doubt that's gonna happen ^^; I had a dream where I did happen to see him; he was working at a small coffee shop, Starbucks? I don't really remember what happened, but something like I waved? but all he had on was a poker face.

Ah, I'll blog a bit about my day yesterday later, but this morning I woke up at 8am. I think my biological clock is set ^^;
I woke up from a... weird dream. It felt like I had tears in my eyes? But it's not like they were falling. Maybe that's why I woke up... but also, when I woke up, my heart ached a bit. You know, it's really weird. This isn't the first time I felt a heartache of some sort (I think another one was because of a dream too...) But it just hurt a little bit. I don't even understand the dream. There was like a lover's quarrel, but he ended up being small like Mii-kun, even though he was a normal shortie at first. And then the boyfriend had to explain stuff? I don't know lolol

This morning was cool. The weather seems to have cooled down now. It's gonna be hot again. But I went to Academic Coffee, got a Dragon Pearl Green Tea (green tea + jasmine blend, it smelled good, wasn't too bitter but it wasn't sweet lol) and a churro custard muffin. After finishing, I asked to put up UP10TION posters and leave flyers. Afterward, I went home and watched Ossan's Love (2016). It's weird LOL so much cringe, but aww at the end xD so dumb lol Currently watching the drama series version. And, uh, also much cringe lol it's pretty comedic too. But so many love advice that so indirectly applies to me and I'm just like ALSKDFJ lol -sigh-

I don't know why it's bothering me so much...
And I don't have any courage ahahaha...haha..ha...

ANYWAY. I have work soon. I didn't even do anything for Jonathan x'D Oops.

Waking up early every day sure is taking a toll on me.

This was the first week for SOP. It's not like there's a lot for us to do, but I'm so tired after getting home. I literally napped every time I got home. Well, there's also the heat.
I didn't eat anything today, so I'm chilling at Tea Alley right now. Also, because I'm here to put up poster for U10. What am I to do with so many posterssss. I'm never joining a street team again OTL.

I went to the mall with Jessie after work. Technically, I left early since I wasn't even doing anything. Really there just to answer phone calls because they didn't want to answer. I got home so sleepy, that I accidentally fell asleep (again!) I slept for an hour, woke up, and went back to sleep again. I plan to make kimbap tonight... but what to have for dinner...

I'm still thinking about a cart for the room... maybe Michael's might barely fit... although I do want an iKEA one. I feel like, I'd have 2 carts anyway in the future LOL

Wow, I'm glad I decided to clean my room when the weather was cooler.

These past few days have been hitting 80 degrees +. I would not have survived in the apartment cleaning. I've been going out with Jessie a lot too, on top of going in to the office for SOP. I have work this weekend for Cinnaholic. Yesterday, I also accepted Jonathan's offer to work as an animator on his summer short. It was hard to make up an excuse to not accept it, but also, I want something worthy for my portfolio... I haven't gotten around to improving my technical skills. Mostly because I'm lazy :p
I've been napping a lot too because of the heat. Yesterday, it was so hot, I rolled out my yoga mat and slept on the floor. It barely helped.

Speaking of shopping with Jessie though, I got a few more supplies for my resin crafting. Though I didn't plan to get supplies at Michael's, it was too much of a hassle to be going to Target, Wal-mart, Home Depot, etc, since transportation is inconvenient, and I can't make Jessie my Uber LOL

I made my first resin prism. It came out better than I thought, but since I didn't pre-mix the resin & pastel, the prism came out more opaque than I wanted. I also found out, Daiso resin sucks at curing LOL I thought that my mini UV lamp just sucked, so I cured it like 3 times. The mold ended up being quite hot to the touch. There's a lot of bubbles on the top too because I let in too much air when I mixed. The last items I need are E600 glue & car wax for polishing LOL. While at Michael's, I also saw a 3-tier cart by Recollections. I wanted to get the Raskog cart from iKEA since it's better quality, but I think Raskog is a little bit too tall to fit under my desk. Since Michael's is a little shorter, it might just fit... also, I got's a coupon so it will be cheaper than iKEA's xD (otherwise, iKEA's would be cheaper by $5 lol) Ah, the inconvenience of no car.

I have just a little bit more to clean up in the room...

Oh, the past few days, I spent a lil' much on music ^^; but I couldn't help it~ I haven't been caught up with Bowen's releases, but he released another album sometime last year and I didn't know. It was $12.99 on iTunes because it was "partial album," which meant you had to buy each song separately. Plus, one song was an "Album Only" track. I found the album on Amazon Music for $8.99 for ALL 10 songs. BLESS. I didn't know they were going to give the "Album Only" track either.

Okay, gonna make kimbap tomorrow after work. Maybe after I stop by Tea Alley to put up poster...

I finally forced myself to clean up my room. Today wasn't too hot; actually it was pretty cloudy when I woke up.

My desk was super dusty, so that was what I tackled first. Dumped pretty much everything either on the floor or on my bed. Wiped down everything, then re-organized everything on it. Then I cleaned up under my bed as best as I could. I put away things ie. all my hobby/craft supplies in the boxes (I need new, better boxes x'D) Vacuumed and mopped. Moved a whole lot of my books out onto the living room table. It took me 2 hours+ to do, and then I had to go work. I was on a roll! x'D So I was almost late for work. I made it with 2 minutes left.
--work went well, though I was getting random headaches. Probably from the heat; & we were getting random rushes--
On my lunch break, I bumped into Genai at Boba Bar! So we chatted while I ate, & then she walked me back to work & I gave her my free roll lol The girl who works at Boba Bar is super nice! She always talks to me & she remembers me ahaha

After work, I came home & didn't even know where to start cleaning LOL I ended up putting everything back under my desk > < I really need a shelf...
Well, the room feels clean and organized... I still need to clean the closet shelf and my art supply "bag" in the closet. I have so much laundry this week, it's piling over. Since I did a thorough cleaning, I changed my bedsheets and pillow case, & flipped my bed (it's an old bed okay lolol) and re-organized my plushies. Everything feels neat now.
Tomorrow's my only day of break before I need to be up for SOP this summer, but guess how I'm spending it OTL

Gotta do laundry, probably 2 loads, and then gotta clean the closet and top shelf. I might as well move everything out of the closet, vacuum & mop too huh? OTL Time to let go and throw some things out too...

Oooh, since my credit card FINALLY works after so many issues, I went on a splurge & finally bought albums/songs from iTunes. Around $20. keke~ <3
Okay time to sleep!

Ahhh I'm thinking about it all again, I don't know why...
Everything's in the past. It's already been 3 years. Yet, here I am thinking about it again.
It was sorta floating in the back of my mind, but then Jessie *smh with a smile* She was teasing me when we were at Teahee. Not really teasing me, but she took a snap of me & showed me that she was gonna send it to him. Slightly shocked, I asked her why. She just devilishly smirked, shrugged, and said, "because he snapped me." ALSKDFJ lol
I spent the rest of the day at Jessie's watching random videos and clips 'til 12:30AM. Lying on the floor, at some point, I just started thinking too much ^^; The one moment I remember so clearly was, sophomore rally performance? I have a faint memory of having blogged about it.... but I don't know why. Maybe it was the pent-up stress and nervousness of the performance? After I finished I felt sick to the stomach. Instead of going back up to the bleachers, I sat on the floor near the open doors. I don't think anyone else noticed because I tried not to show it. But he came over to say that we did a great job. Maybe I gave too weak of a response, because he asked if I was okay. Of course, I'm gonna say I was fine. I think I told him I was just a lil' tired. He didn't ask further and just sat there with me.
I wish I can go back to the time.
Had I not been a coward in love, maybe things would've been different 3 years ago...

Currently listening to "The Truth Untold" by BTS. Ha. How true to how I feel right now...
I tried to sing along, but my voice is barely back. Where I can usually go falsetto, I can't even get a squeak out LOL

So speaking of getting better, work these past two days have been fun. I really missed going back to work. On Friday, the 1st day back at work, everyone kept asking if I'm feeling better. I'm feeling better, but I lost my voice LOL I did try to speak up, but it just wasn't working, so I resorted back to whispering. My co-workers were super cooperative and understanding of it. I couldn't call out the names, so whenever I finished an order, I'd get one of them to yell it out. I ended up being really quiet for my whole shift ^^; Towards the end of the day, Priscilla couldn't help but laugh at my whispering. She said it was funny that I had to go up to them to whisper a question etc, but that it wasn't funny that I was sick LOL When I was leaving, Liz and Elisa were like, hope you feel better xD and I tried to say bye to Daniel but of course he can't hear my whisper, & Liz & Elisa were like "BYE DANIEL" ahahahhaa
And then Saturday, my voice slowly started coming back. Still not loud enough, but I managed to do POS, though the customers had a hard time hearing me ^^; If it wasn't too loud I could manage a squeak of the name & they sometimes can hear me. Near the last few hours of work, Zeke came in. After some time, he came over & whispered "are you feeling better?" I couldn't help but laugh a little and told him yeah. He also worked with me at the toppings at some point, and the topping was banana but the writing was a lil' sloppy so he thought it was a different topping, but I told him it was just bananas. Another one was apples, & he never the cut the apple toppings before so I tried to explain it to him, but it was hard to explain it because first of all, I just kinda cut whatever. And that's also what I told him haha but not like I can talk that much anyway. He laughed a lil' & let me finish the order. Also, I was the one at the counter to call out orders, but he was working next to me & said "just let me know when you need me to call them out." One time, I didn't even say anything yet, and he already looked over the name & called it out. We also had a laugh because he pushed too hard & dropped the blueberries in the fridge x'D ahh, Zeke so funny.
Hmm, I don't work 'til Friday again.

Out of order, but today was really hot, so Jessie drove us to Wal-mart to escape the heat. and to buy stuff lol Afterward we went to Teahee for boba. Their uniforms are so cute~ Then we went to Eastridge because she didn't want to go home yet. We went to Round 1, and played some games (not a lot). She wanted a small Mamegoma so we tried for it. I got it on the first try, but it fell when the crane hit the top. Jessie was so shocked ahahaha And we tried a few more times & I forgot when but she just could not stop laughing lol. We were so close on like 3 tries. One time it was on its way to the hole, but dropped right before the hole. Knowing me, of course I came back to it and we tried some more. But then I pretty much ran out of credits ahaha no credit card so no refill for me :p At one of my retries, this dude suddenly plonked himself at the window ie. just slammed his palms onto the windows and stared at the crane. There goes my try ^^; He was like awww and walked away, his friends following him (I think 2 of them at the end were kinda cute but I only glanced at their faces). I just gave Jessie the what-the-heck-just-happened look and we just laughed.

Well, that's the day. I have training with Arlene tomorrow. I want to go out again already~ Can't wait 'til July 3/5 so I can watch "Fireworks" at Eastridge~

Looks like I'm recovering a bit? The coughing seemed to have lessen, but still persistent.

Today was Jobee's graduation. I dressed cute today! I wonder when's the next time I can dress up again... or maybe, when will I start actually putting some effort in how look when I go out LOLOL I can still only whisper. We were at Hot Topic and when I answered one of the staff, she whispered back "why are we whispering" lolol and jokingly called us the "Whisper Squad." And then we were in Macy's, at Finish Line, and one of the staff overheard me whispering to Jim and he whispered "why are we whispering?" and Jim explained to him it was because I was sick and lost my voice and then in his normal voice, he apologized LOLOL it aight though.

I had to meet up with Clarence to give him his ticket. Such an awkward exchange lol he's still precious. 

After grad, I was Jobee's photographer but she kept complaining about taking pictures. Psh, she actually wanted pictures. We ate at China Palace and afterward, Auntie had us go over to her place so she can give us massages (while we help Jacky with his job application) and make me eat that dried tangerine skin thingy. Bleh. We stayed a little long because I was too caught up with his VR set-up. I was tryna beat his archery score, but I also screw up at the 16th wave lolol I'm actually pretty good at aiming (sometimes). I love bow and arrows~ keke my go-to weapon. But anyway, I ended up leaving my phone at his place OTL and we leaving for Bay Area tomorrow. Hopefully, I'm better so I can go to work on Friday.
Man, my throat still itches so I want to keep coughing.

Oh, also, Jo's a fujoshi now LOLOL
Side note, I didn't know "History" had a season 2. I just finished the series today and omg~ I'm having post-webdrama feels. I'm glad it's all happy endings at the end, and it is a closure. I just want more because they're so cute~ <3 I wonder if there is more... I gotta go watch behind-the-scenes and fan lives etc LOL the guys are all cute, so time to find their instagrams and weibos (but not like I'ma follow them on there ahaha)

Labels: history 2

Uwah. 
I've been out sick for a while. Well, not totally. During the last 2 days of finals I was feeling lethargic. Ended up, I was running a fever ^^; & I took a final with it (& went to one probably with it). Since then, my fever's been on and off. I also had to skip work. Ahh, I'm still recovering... but I'd wake up very early because of coughs. It's better now; at least it's not every 3 hours. For that, I had to take Nyquil to be able to sleep. Doc at the health center said it's probably 'cause I caught something & that I'm not recovering from it because it's complicated by allergies. My dry coughing (sometimes) seems to have scratched up my throat, so it feels swollen right now. Othertimes, there's phlegm but I can't get it out. I just want to get better so I can go back to workkkkk.
Speaking of work, Arlene and Erin flew to Texas and the other 2 aren't coming in to work, nor are they answering e-mails. I'm too sick to be doing all this! (Also, because a lot of the stuff I don't know how to do) and I feel bad bothering Arlene/Erin while their on vacay. Currently, I'm answering whatever e-mails I can, though, I'm not even keeping track of my hours.

On a side note, I posted on my Snapchat about me getting sick and people were messaging me~ I figured Deilys would message me at some point lol then there's Nancy as well. Surprisingly John (Sinco) messaged me too. Awww, it's been a while since I talked to him. Heh.

Oh yeah, I had an interesting dream today. Something about solving puzzles, but all I wanted to do was go wash my hands? I think it was in a Wal-mart or something. Somehow I got split up with Jim, and then someone was already solving the riddles, so we just ran until we hit a riddle that hadn't been solved yet. While running, these 2 guys were behind me. They poked my pimple or something on my shoulder? And I held that area and turned around and looked at them like, excuse me? And then at the puzzle, we knelt down, and they were really close to me. The other dude wrapped his arms around my neck and I looked back at him and he just gave me a "what?" kind of look. And I just let him. And they were whispering to each other, saying something like I wasn't this girl they thought I was? So I guess they just mistook me for someone else. I wasn't too weirded out in the dream. It was comfy, I guess? He was cute too? I don't even know ahaha

Okay, gotta get back to work now. All these contacts to put in...

Well hello.
It's finally finals week. I only have 2 tests to study for. I finished one project, and I need to finish my forest painting. Not bad so far. Yesterday I drilled "Latata" & swung my arms too had. Also switched with my co-worker so I closed tonight. So soreeeee. We got a last minute rush at 8pm that went out the door. We didn't close until 9:20pm (we close at 9). It was still a good day. More soreness because I had to mix so much frosting.

I got both my paychecks today! Wow, almost $1000 x'D
And we are getting a raise at Cinnaholic woot woot~
It was so hot today though ToT

I already showered and my hand still smells like chocolate and cinnamon rolls lol
After work tomorrow, I'm going home~ Wheee~

It's been pretty hectic last week. I started training for Cinnaholic & hadn't had time to update. I had to skip Jeff's class for both Tues and Thur because of training, and I couldn't skip Owen's. Jeff was super lenient and supportive too haha I saw him on Thursday before class, & he asked how work was LOL

Well anyway, other than work, there's nothing else. (Except that Owen pretty much said I'm not "Vis Dev" material LOL OTL) I was really anxious about work, but our trainer Daryl was right: we really did learn everything in no time. Everyone who started off at the front of the house (FOH) did not learn back of the house (BOH) aka baking. However, on the 2nd day of training, FOH team did a brief "tutorial" of the baking procedures, but mainly, each team will be doing what they were trained for until we have some down time to swap and learn the other part. It's been super fun, but it's a lot of work. I get along well with my co-workers and I just love them??? I love the corporate team trainers Rachel, Cindy, and Daryl, too. They love to joke around which made training very smooth. They did a lot of positive reinforcement to encourage us. They were firm but weren't yelling at us or anything. Also, I love how for the past 2 days, they watched over us while we were working and jumping in to help whenever needed. Our bosses Liz & Zeke also worked by our side, so they were more "co-workers" than our bosses. I love the idea that everyone's equal. I found out Liz & Zeke weren't really familiar with the frosting and toppings abbreviations LOL and one time Liz asked me what one was & I answered her, and she was like "see, you guys are training me now" AWWW

Our manager Elisa as well. She's super nice! Today I clocked in and Zeke told me to take over for Elisa who was at register, but she was reluctant to go. At first she said she wanted to keep practicing lol and I was fine with that, I would just go find something else to do. But then she said nevermind and let me take register lolol Opening day was super crazy. Well, we had a taste of the busy-ness with VIP night on Thursday, and I invited Steph, Kune, and Jessie for a free cinnamon roll. Junior also messaged me suddenly because he needed to kill some time, but I couldn't eat with him since I had work. But when the event started, it was slow, and I was like, they'll never know how many people I invited LOL so I invited Junior to get a roll. I was working frostings but I saw him walk by the store. On my break I saw my text and he said someone told him it was VIP only & didn't let him LOL it was Daryl omg xD I felt bad but he was still chillin' on campus. So when he got here, we chatted a bit while waiting for his roll. The whole time waiting with him was my break, so after his roll, I had to say bye and didn't even get to eat my roll LOL he still sat around for an hour or so.
But anyway, the busy-ness. The line was never-ending for our $1 roll event. I was super tired. It got hot towards the middle. I was starting to feel maybe light-headed (because of heat and exertion and no fuel(?), and where the hat was on my forehead, I was sweating. I was dying. On my lunch, I went straight to Boba Bar to grab a quick snack. But I could not finish the popcorn chicken. Because Cinnaholic is a vegan store, policy is that employees cannot bring non-vegan food in. So instead of wasting the chicken, I asked the staff there if they could hold on to my food. They were really nice and held it for me. I got it back after work. The 2nd shift's staff was super nice too! The guy was funny haha. I also got dinner for myself and delivered food and milk tea from Gongcha to Arlene in the ART building (I sat with her helping her on her animation). Also bought Steph's food at Boba Bar. The Boba Bar staff started up a light conversation about the long line at work and stuff when I was on my lunch. And when me and Steph were leaving, this lady striked up a conversation about work and she said "See you around" and I'm like AWW. I love being neighbor employees :D

Well that was opening day. Today was post-opening. It didn't seem busy in the morning, but towards the afternoon, there was a rush.
I love the fact that our trainers were really proud of us: "They're ready. The Black Brigade, all in their black uniform." Like AWWW. That makes me really proud of ourselves as well. Our trainers literally disappeared lolol So today was mostly us. They popped in here and there towards the rush. During the rush, we were backed up on rolls so we had a lot of boxes ("clam shells") lined up and stacked up. As soon as the fresh rolls were out. They were placed in the boxes, frosted, and topped and sent out. I don't know how we did it, but our countertops cleared out. Everything happened in a blur it was like was there even a rush? lolol Zeke kept saying "good comeback" and in my head, I was agreeing. After seeing today, I'm sure we can manage anything that comes our way because of our teamwork :D
One thing was, because I did an 8-hour shift, we have to have our 30-minute lunch break, but my 2 10-minute breaks were given at such an odd time, and it was super busy, I didn't take my lunch. So I got in a little trouble with that ^^;
Side note, there was a very enthusiastic customer named Austin who straight up came to the register and said "WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE?" Me, so taken aback, lolol. He made me make the choice for him LOL I really was going to tell him my current favorite, but Daryl was like, just give him the Cookie Monster. In my head I was like, darn, lol. He was so eager he kept trying to give me his credit card LOL I also saw 2 of the upperclassmen. Gave them student discounts keke but I didn't want to be asking everyone whether they were SJSU students :p
I'm probably forgetting stuff, but this is the gist of this busy week.
--
Steph actually got off of work around when I did, so we met up to grab some food. We were eating at Jack in the Box until some weird homeless came into the store. So we took our food to Gongcha where I got milk tea. After a while, I saw Andy walking across the street, and I knew where he was headed lolol And Steph being so weird xD greeted him, and introduced herself lol After he got his drink, he came over to join us. We started talking about a bunch of stuff. At some point, Steph went to grab Connect 4 to play. HE KEEPS WINNING ALDSKFJ lol I beat him ONCE x'D Steph went out to see if this one dude was someone she knew and I was saying to Andy how overly social she was, and he was like "it's not a bad thing" and he went to comparing himself, mentioning his depression and introverted-ness and how he's sometimes really social too, and I'm like aww :(
[I never thought he'd have depression, but once again, no matter how someone presents themselves, there's always a possibility that it's actually the opposite under the surface :( ]
He was actually in the PTL because he wasn't feeling well and wanted to be around people(?) I guess. So he ended up spending almost a little more than half an hour with us. I think him playing Connect 4 with us was good for a stress-relief :3
I still can't believe he's 4 years older LOLOL like, you still a kid ahahhaa
He headed back to PTL after one last game, because he "really liked this game" LOL
When we were leaving, Gongcha was closing. Despite being clocked out, Steph helped her co-workers. I ended up helping them too LOL because MIGHT AS WELL. We didn't do much, other than wipe down the tables and stack the chairs.

I did late night laundry, and I'm sad my new oversized Coca-Cola sweater got dirty in the dryer :(
After my laundry, we went over to Kuni's and I got to play with Luna. She was so softtttt~ Kuni's roommate Chelsea's friend Kelan/Kellin/Kellen(?) was there and he was really nice. Kuni's other roommate Alyssa offered me cheesecake~ We were watching "Spiderman: Homecoming" but didn't finish the movie. Everyone was fading away, as in, they just disappeared from the living room LOL and Steph was tired from drinking (she didn't drink too much, and I can't tell if she's drunk, but she always seems drunk or about to be drunk when she's whiny and becomes seemingly lethargic lol)
Well that was my week/day. I'm so tired because I actually woke up 2 hours before my alarm as in, around 7 something AM. because for some odd reason, I was paranoid about being late to work.
Work hours are a little off because the app was glitchy for a day or 2. Also, I turned in my timecard for the other job (with Arlene) and somehow got 28 hours (because she told me to also include the other hours for before the paperwork lol).

Ahh, I'ma shower and sleep. Not even gonna wash my hair LOL goodnight

Hello!
Failed gamjajeon ToT that was depressing. Made me not want to cook anymore ^^; I'm pretty tired of eating curry... lolol I was eating the frozen chicken wings from Costco & I felt like throwing up as I took a bite out of it. I don't know why...

Anywho, I turned in my new hire paperwork so I'm officially official lol Also, Cinnaholic called today about training for Monday. OTL so many things to do already. Can I handle it? haha (hopefully)

Meeting the U10 SJ street crew tomorrow to pick up posters/flyers~
The fan project was so.... SIGH. Slightly annoying. I question the age of the organizer... at least we're going somewhere now... now we'll just see if this will be successful.
I'm so excited for the concert! I can't wait for Pick-a-Pose event O' lawd. I almost decided to take a lot of pictures, but it's $10 per photo, & each member had 3 poses. Before, I was just gonna take photos with Wooshin, Xiao, Kogyeol, and Wei, but after seeing the poses, HNGGG I'ma take 1 photo with each member, but 3 with Wooshin (because his poses were actually nice & not cringy at all LOL)

Ah, despite my failed cooking yesterday, made me happy that I made my own iced vanilla latte today ^^ I also made "cheese rolls" (quesadilla, but instead, rolled lol), cut them in half and packed them in my bento for snacking at the library. I finished my essay at the library, but didn't realize there were no extended study hours, so I had to leave soon. Then I went to Safeway to buy more groceries. It was hot today. I got home and cleaned a bit, then finished the Physics modules for next week. Afterward I took a break and watched Sanrio Danshi and ate dinner. I cried for the backstory episodes of the characters homygawd. lol I need to finish my homework to balance work and school now... OTL
But let me finish Sanrio Danshi LOL

Oh! Also, I miraculously fixed my tablet pen! Don't know how x'D but when I realized the nib doesn't go too far in anymore & when I shook the pen it didn't sound like something's loose inside, so I took the nib out & pushed the pen down on the table & snapped the 2 pieces together again (there was a slight gap between them).

I've been posting very infrequently, mostly because I've been busy.
Last week was quite hectic as I had so many deadlines. I almost thought I wouldn't survive. But I did whew. Thursday was the work day all day because of my meerkat model pack (I managed but I don't really like the artwork) & then it was Bea's late birthday party after. I was mainly photographer, but I ended up drinking a small bottle & taking 2 shots & got an alcohol rash. LeAnn and I got home pretty late, and because I was tired, I thought I'd sleep in. Nope, I woke up around 9:30 and then 11am with no alarm.

I spent the weekend at my sisters'. It was cherry blossom festival! So we dressed nicely--matching pink and black OOTD--and was feeling ourselves so much we took so many selfies lol I totally forgot there'd be artists' booths. Yuumei was there and I finally gave in to buying prints from her; also got a charm & 2 gold and silver foil washi tapes from another artist. We had 2 crepes and took pics. Doggos! Akitas and shibas! We also went to Daiso but the line was long, so we didn't buy anything. (At Serramonte's Daiso we found everything we were going to get, except for the new sakura stationery. I guess it's a good thing LOL) It was pretty hot. We left soon after because Jim had to be home for her friend to pick her up for KBBQ. Meanwhile, me and Jen went shopping. Uhh, we spent too much on clothes & food LOL they were cute rompers, but maybe one would've been enough... but I got a nice backpack at Ross for $15! Now what to do with the other backpack that costs $49.99 ...

I was supposed to get home earlier today since I was going to meet up with the rest of SJ's U10 street crew, but they changed the date so I stayed longer. I also cooked, but nothing came out the way I wanted it too ToT *determined to actually make good food*
Jim and I went to a cafe to do homework. While I was packing my stuff, my tablet pen slipped out and fell on the floor. I thought it'd be fine, until we were at the café and I took a closer look; the nib looked oddly shorter. At some point, I realized the impact may have pushed the nib further in. After more research, it seemed likely that the impact had loosened something inside. I have yet to figure out how to disassemble the pen... At first I thought it couldn't write, but after unplugging and plugging the tablet again, the pen worked. Instead of risking breaking the pen, I'ma attempt to fix it after my projects LOL
--

Last week, I took a nap Tues night, and woke up with a mosquito bite on my eyelid. The next day I went to school with a swollen eye, which I had to hide while walking lol AWK. It looked like I was a victim of domestic violence *eye roll emoji*
Oh. And. The day Arlene and I were filming our stop motion (you can watch here) was the day U10 tickets were released. She had to wait for me while I panicked to buy tickets. There wasn't any reason for me to rush anyway. Nothing sold out (bittersweet). But I got VIP tickets, 1st row of that section, but not center center. Instead we chose aisle seat lol (what if they walked down the aisle?) I can't wait until Studio Pav releases info about Pick-a-Pose event omg I'm so ALKSDJF depending on the price, I may or may not take pictures with all 10 of them. EEE so exciteddd. And yes, I'm on the San Jose street crew for their concert. There's only like 6 of us :( They're really nice though~
Also, on Amino, I'm part of the fan project group. Excited to meet and help one of the people who are making and passing out banners and fans~

Okay, time to sleep. Goodnight.

What a busy day today.

I woke up way too early today. Why though ^^;
Finally had class with Owen after having cancelled classes all week before Spring Break. I didn't know it was Owen's birthday today until Dave Chai came in with his class(?) to give him a gift. Students and staff kept stopping by to say happy birthday. Aww, I love my department~ (Side note, Dave Chai asked the class if any of us were going to 14F. I sit in the back, and I nodded quite clearly, and in the corner of my eye, I saw Andy raise his hand. Dave pointed at me and imitated my nod and said something like "just two?" lolol) Also found out, I'll be co-workers with Leti at Cinnaholic! lol (Oh, I guess I didn't mention this? but work called and told me opening will be pushed back to next week)
Afterward I headed to the English department to start on work while waiting for Arlene. We worked until we had to go to class. She shared sushi~ After class we went back to work again, until class.

114 was... ToT I don't want to pose and acttttt ahahaha it was really fun though but just ughhh I don't know how to be a firefighter? Also, we have so much due next week for 114 ToT
I went back to work after class. Arlene had asked Monique, Camila, and this other girl Alex, to help out, so we managed to finish packing the envelopes!
Oh yeah, officially hired because in the afternoon, Dr. Lovell stopped by. And Arlene asked him if I still needed an interview LOL and he just laughed. Seems like he forgot? He jokingly asked "So what do you think you can give to the program?" I was shocked that he threw that question at me I thought I had to answer lol but he was like, no because he was gonna hire me, "no doubt about it" lol So I just need to submit the paperwork. He also decided to pay me for this week's hours, but he suddenly asked me, that I couldn't math lol And I also forgot about Tuesday's hours. But Arlene said just keep track of what wasn't paid to me.
The dang labels wouldn't print after I took the time to figure out how to make the labels. Every time I clicked print, it always would say pending but the bar would complete, and I check the printer jobs and it said 0 pending ALKSDF so I had to print from PDF. At least it worked though but why Microsoft Word, Labels so complicated -.-
It was getting late and Arlene had to go, so I walked her to the lightrail. We made it just in time as the lightrail was just pulling up.

I went back to get Starbucks, and these 2 black dudes (I hate saying this because it always sounds racist lol but it's really for visual purposes ^^; ) followed me into Starbucks too. I wasn't sure what I was getting yet so I told them they could go first, but A kept insisting I go? But I told them that I was still thinking but he kept insisting until like the 3rd time, where he laughed and went ahead. B followed behind A and said to me, "You look cute. You're really beautiful/gorgeous." I was so shocked that all I managed was a really monotone "thank you." (Also, so shocked that I barely recalled the exchange, I just remember the convo along those lines.) After I ordered, they just got their waters, so we passed each other again, and now A said "I like your shirt [sweater]. It's really cute" (was it cute or nice? I don't even know) but I also just said "thank you" ^^; They were pretty polite about it and wasn't trying to chat me up or anything, otherwise my danger radar would be going off lol

Currently at the library with Steph and Jessie. Too bad Alan can't join haha U10 tickets go on sale TOMORROW. Dayum. Gotta fight for tickets HNG. Also, gotta go back into work with Arlene tomorrow too and shoot our stop motion OTL. Aight, gotta head out with Jessie to buy her some food. I am so sore and tired today.

Sadly, Spring Break went by really fast.

To be honest, I didn't really do much. It took a while to get into "break" mode. Halfway through the week, I started Blade & Soul again. Woot! I missed it~ Also, I thought I forgot how to fight, but dayum, I got meself like 3 amazing combos in my first few battles I've never done in my Blade Dancer career. Regrets. But I didn't dance over break ahahaha too hot. Too lazy.

I did end up meeting up with everyone, though we couldn't meet all together. So funny, but I met up with one half, and the other half xD I also hung out with Deilys for a bit. I had milk tea way too often ^^; Also saw Mike and Johnmhar when I was at Quickly with Mina and Meimei. Went to eat Korean food with Jessica and Arianne. Felt just maybe a lil' awkward? Wasn't really sure what to talk about? We gossiped a bit ^^;

Jen also stopped by home for a bit yesterday. And Mike brought Jim back after badminton and hanging out at Coach's. Jim drove me back, but the fam stopped by Old Mission Park to take pictures, but they didn't come out as "model" as Jonny's LOL his photographer friend too pro x'D

Got home and it was too warm ToT it feels so much better right now. Love the cool nights after a hot day. I immediately did an unboxing of UP10TION'S "Invitation" and I got WOOSHIN *0* but then the other 3 cards were Kuhn lol I put him up for trade x'D (Sorry Kuhn! Let me have my biasessss) My bed is a mess... haha time to clean. Gah, need to do work :p I did do like 3 fanarts and working on my chibi style and just doodling. Because since school, I haven't really done art for fun... well I'm off xD

Also, "How to Keep a Mummy" ended cutely ^^ except, I still ship Sora & Tazuki LOL

I've been home for 2 days! Not much done. Uhm, I just know I haven't had any water LOLOL I had milk tea :p
Speaking of milk tea, yesterday I picked up Jo from school and we got cake slices from the Dutch Bakery, shopped at Sakura, and then went to Superfish. Bumped into Carmen, Rain, Victor, and Kimberly. Awkward because I was dressed so sloppily, plus I tied my hair up messily. The owner, I guess, was at the register. He seemed chill. We talked a bit because he asked if I went to Edison (because I wore my badminton hoodie). I told him I just played for them. And he told me he played too, a long time ago. I asked him what school and he was like Stagg, so I was like oh rivals~ and he just chuckled. Me and Jo took a seat while waiting for our drinks. I think Jo saw that they were almost done, so she made me get up so we stood by the counter for the drinks. I was on my phone, and the next thing I knew was, Jo was like "oh!" and going away from the counter. Confused, I looked up and he had come out from behind the counter to "deliver" the drinks to us. He told Jo, "Oh, I was gonna look for you guys." But... we were standing... RIGHT THERE. lolol and he even handed me a straw. Me in my head: I can get it myself >///< LOL He kept asking us how it tasted, while he was talking to Jo, I was trying to poke through the cap, and it kept spilling out. He saw and said, "oh yeah, it gets a little too full" and I got flustered again like, stop watching meeee lol and I turned away to use the table. When I turned back, he was talking to another customer and I thought it was rude to just leave without giving him an answer, so me and Jo waited at the entrance. I finally got eye contact with him, and he was like "good?" and I nodded and returned his thumbs up and quickly left LOL He was really too nice xD I told Jim this and she was like, "why you flustered? he talks to everyone!" LOL

I've been sleeping late because of Jo _(:3_)Z
My hair gets really bad when I come home.
Ice cream~
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We showered the dogs today but Bob had a hard time standing so we couldn't really clean him well. Afterward, we had to go to grandparents' to help them fix the TV. From there, we went to Quickly for milk tea. Jessica left at 5 though, so we were 30 minutes too late haha. Then we stopped by a park because I saw some nice trees~ and we did a spontaneous photoshoot. I made Jo do random poses for future reference lol It's been a while since we were at park.

I've been drawing a lot and been very active on the U10 amino~ such nice people~
Speaking of U10, their ASC schedule was cancelled; well, this week their schedules were cancelled because of 100%'s Minwoo's sudden passing ToT I was not ready for another idol's passing... It's still too soon since Jonghyun's... Me and Jo were so shocked. I may not have as much feelings as with Jonghyun, but the thought that we'll never see Minwoo with 100%... damn.
Rest in Peace Minwoo... </3 032518

Labels: 100%, Seo Minwoo

Went out with Arlene today! Was supposed to meet up with Celine, but she ended up getting sick, so it was just me and Arlene. We met at the Student Union's Starbucks, and I tried their new drink, Crystal Ball Frappucino. I got purple sprinkles, so I'm supposed to have a magical day. Uhm, the day turned out to be very much bad luck LOL

We were going to have a sketchventure but that didn't happen LOL We bussed to Eastridge after we checked out the Kaleid Art Gallery. I found my wish stick on the wagon! :D They hung it up lol We got to the mall, shopped around at Forever 21 (I always end up buying something if I go with her to F21? LOL I got lots of cute socks :3 ) I think we went to Daiso afterward and then we ate at the food court. Oh we also took a photo booth photo. She really likes those ahaha Also my 1st one? Hm, I wish I could take ones at J-town with Polaris (because those probably aren't broken :p) I was super full? And I was feeling uncomfortably full, like I wanted to throw up. But I had one more bite. Must be because I've been eating very little these few days. After we finished eating, we just chilled and talked about a lot of random stuff about school and classmates.

Then we went to Round 1. And this is where the "bad luck" happened. First of all, I met this rude employee? This Asian dude. I got credit refill and then I asked if someone could adjust the toy in the crane, and he gave me an exasperated "ugh" expression? He turned to ask someone I guess? But Arlene and I walked away and I looked at her and said "What the heck? He was so annoyed or something!" We waited a while, and we turned back towards the counter. HE WAS WALKING AWAY. TOWARD THE BOWLING ALLEY. I was so done with him. Luckily, this other dude that I see often (does he remember me? haha) adjusted the toy. After like 3 tries, I gave up and we went to play time play for an hour-ish. Though now that I think about it, I wonder if the girl gave me the right amount? Because we should've gotten 80 minutes, but it felt like we only got 60 minutes? Anyway, we played a lot of the arcade time plays. We ranked in the Jurassic Park one! haha 12th place. Afterward our time play ran out, we went to try the cat again. IT HATES ME. I gave up again and Arlene said I should try this other cat one (it wasn't as cute lol) but it seemed like she liked it, so I was like ok. I wasn't even really thinking about the strategies... guess who got the squishy cat in ONE TRY. I got even more mad about that ahahaha (when I say mad, I wasn't really "mad" lol) so I had to go get the other cat LOL and I told Arlene she could have the cat haha.
So the dude who adjusted it earlier, I had to keep calling him over, to the point where he asked how many times we tried. I told him probably over 20. He said, if you try over 20 times, we get the toy as consolation. So he checked, and yes I played over 20 times, and so he gave it to me. (Also, before that I avoided the rude dude -.-)
Then we headed over to the photo booth. Only one worked, so we took the photos with our cats xD We were gonna go decorate them, but my side of the screen was all glitchy and didn't respond to my pen so I was sad ToT but Arlene decorated them so yay~ Need to learn Japanese to read the screens ahaha We were supposed to have a free photo session because it was given with time play, but we checked and saw that it took my credits, and that I didn't have any more privileges aka my previous time play photo session with Steph. So we asked at the counter, and they had to call over the manager. He explained that it was because our time play ended, but I asked like, wasn't it available for whenever since it showed up before we took the photo. He said he actually wasn't sure, but he still refunded me anyway. Lol We then got milk tea at Quickly, and I got agar boba. IT'S COOL TEA BALLS. lolol

Arlene's Words of Wisdom: Don't keep investing in something just because you had already invested so much in it.
*mindblown*
But she was choking on her laughter at my misery she couldn't tell me LOLOL I was too determined anyway.

We took the bus back to school, and she drove us to get pizza but the Pieology was closed (so probably all locations are closed?) So we went to get Mod Pizza instead. She treated~ probably because I was so salty about the cat LOL I talked to her a lot about relationships LOL We kept going from topic to topic so that was funny. Indirectly told her about Robin and stuff. I don't even remember if I told her his name lol but yeah~ So relaxing and fun talking to Arlene.

Wow I spent all day with her. Steph was volunteering at Zion.T's concert. When I got home, I tried to film "Candyland" for ASC, but I faileedddd. Even though I was cramming the dance this morning, and I got it. But trying to do it from memory with little practice was hard. So I guess I'm only sending in the good 2 parts LOL I'ma try to do fanart? But I only have 3 hours before the deadline LOL
Peace! I'ma try anyway. Also, parents are picking me up tomorrow wheeee

Yes! So yesterday I had my interview with Cinnaholic. I was super nervous, also because I didn't have a formal attire. Thank goodness it wasn't required. I was 10 minutes early. I wasn't sure how to enter because the store was still under construction. I waited for 5 minutes. The door opened because some construction workers needed to go in, and the lady who opened the door turned to me. She guessed who I was haha. She told me there was one other girl, so I thought we were going to wait for her, but we started talking and I guess we started the interview? ahaha afterward she told me that if they "decided to hire [me]... but technically you're in. let me just ask the owner" and she goes and talks to the owner. She came back to me saying "Ok so yeah, you're in" and then she tells to fill out some forms. I also met both the owners and they kept asking me if I had any questions but I didn't ^^; Nice! So I landed the job right then and there.

Also, yesterday morning I found out UP10TION IS COMING TO SAN JOSE. I couldn't sleep the night before that, but even though I woke up around 9am, I still stayed awake because I saw that news lol I am so down for hi-touch. ALSKDJF a funny message with Jo. Because I was like whatever with my outfit, Jo said she thought I'd "go tryhard" for U10 but she guesses not lol after I told them I got hired, Jo was surprised haha guess who's gonna be saving up for hi-touch. Steph though: "if you get the tickets" ToT
It was a good day because that morning was my first figure drawing session, and it was featuring the Wushu club. They posed for it. It was really fun~ I hadn't figure drawn in forever, but Arlene and Jewlinna were so supportive, I didn't even care how bad it was. I just joked around about it with them. The gestures didn't even come out that bad? Still maybe a little stiff, but hey, better than I ever could in the past years.

I finished the last of my meerkats this afternoon. I also finished my animatic for 114, though I need to do some more timing. I used Opentoonz, which is a free animation software from Ghibli. I heard it crashes a lot, but what program doesn't? lol I had install ffmpeg because the default outputs doesn't have video output. So I had to download ffmpeg through Homebrew. Ah, I really need to do a factory reset on my Mac, but not until I have everything I need on a new harddrive, which I'm hopefully getting over spring break or so... I hate how Mac has this "Other" in storage. It's like over 100gb for me and I don't know what it is! I probably won't clear my Mac until after this semester though...

Meanwhile, I've been slacking with workouts and even stretches. The weather's been weird lately too. Ah, I seem to be productive only on weekends OTL lol Still need to clean, but now I don't think it's the right time? sigh, when would it be ^^;
Speaking of productivity, this making of Your Name is a really great watch. I really love watching the behind-the-scenes ~

Ahh, HnA is very likely going to shut down soon. I'm super sad because Dynamic Chord is releasing stuff soon and TsukiPro still has season 2. I mean, I shouldn't even have had access to the music, but when you get a taste of something good, it sucks to go back, right? lol It's probably for the best. But that means I might buy more CDs...

Which brings me to the topic of materialistic wants.
I have a lot of stuff. I want to own a lot of stuff too. Can't be helped.
I mean it can lol It just takes a lot of determination and willpower to not buy things. And yeah, to be honest, I can definitely live with what I have, and less, even.
But I'm gonna try harder not to buy stuff in the future. Ah, I still need to do a thorough declutter... and it's the perfect time right? Spring cleaning!
I want to feel free ~ lol
Speaking of which, with HnA down, it means one less thing I'm keeping up with ^^; I would need to make an effort to keep up with DynaChord...
--

Ah, I really didn't feel like doing homework. Wow. Procrastinated since after class. (By the way, I wonder how bad I did on that test? ^^; ) Class is "optional" tomorrow lol but I think I'ma skip. Ugh, I still need to draw my meerkats...

I was feeling bloated... and I didn't even eat a lot? Nyaaa my belly came back ToT I was changing and looked in the mirror, and I'm like "what is thaaaat" lol I have been keeping up with my morning and night stretches. I'm still sore from this Sunday. I think I'll do abs tomorrow... (was gonna do them tonight, but I'ma do some work ^^; )

I just don't get it.

I guess it's hard for someone who never actually has depression to understand someone who does. Slumps and depression are just different. But why... why do you self-deprecate? Like, what purpose? What makes you think that in the first place? I can go on and on using my roommate as an example (because she's been extremely self-deprecating lately. I don't know is it because of guys? I mean, she has been drinking more than usual -.- ) Even I noticed she cussed more than usual, she asks if she's ugly more often than usual. I feel like it's because she's been talking to guys... O.O And then she gets pretty anxious when they don't talk to her or reply her. Dude, it's just boys. Like she said, "boys ain't shit," so why is she so riled up? This happened too often in too short of a time. I feel like I'm running out of patience, tolerance, compassion etc for her. It's draining. I barely just got myself back together. Maybe that's why I have less tolerance than usual.
I woke up from my nap just slightly bothered by some recent events.

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"The Little Prince" Review
I just finished the short novel. This was quite an interesting read because it felt like nothing was answered. I think it actually makes you think a lot. The ending was pretty sad. It was hard to decide whether the ending was this or that because it just felt so open-ended. I think it makes you question many things because since the beginning, the Little Prince questioned everything. Look at that, the novel felt so unsure, I wrote "I think" a lot for this short paragraph haha
I thought I had lots to say about it, but it's pretty hard to put into words.

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I stayed up 'til 4:30am last night painting my dang tree. It didn't come out good, but in class, my critique wasn't even that bad. The main thing Owen said was "do the little shapes" (and other changes) and I felt quite relieved. It was a good day because I enjoyed the light morning rain. Also, Genai sat next to me today so I had a nice chat with her ^^ We got let out early so I went to the Pencil Test Lab to finish my animation. I didn't want to think about it anymore so I just did it. I finished about an hour-ish earlier. It looked bad. And I really liked my other classmates' works ToT But Jef said it looked good (though no one liked it LOL that awkward silence... haha). And I was really glad I went up to get a critique from him. At first I didn't want to because it's just so bad. But Hsiu Hsiu's right: the critique is good for future reference. And Jef was fun ahaha I can't get over how he kept meowing my goodness. Anyway, the critique was fun. I also enjoyed chatting with my group mates, Hsiu Hsiu and Emerson. We researched 'glitter bomb' because it was going to be in Hsiu's animation, and we wanted to know how it worked xD Meanwhile, Emerson didn't want to do thumbnails for the next project LOL Even though I really thought about skipping class, I knew I was gonna miss out on a fun day. I really love Hsiu Hsiu (& her style lol) and I told her I wanted to draw Moonbyul & she was like "do it!" xD I love my A/I friendssss why are they so carefree and supportiveee ToT

And then I came home and napped.
I'm also still super sore from my 10 min workout Sunday morning? Like, whyyyy x'D (okay, it's because I hadn't exercised in forever)
OH. I also got a call from Cinnaholic for an interview on Friday. I'M NERVOUS.

Labels: The Little Prince

I am dying ^^;
I did a lot of work today, and I'm feeling pretty good, though drained. I was off schedule a lot, but I still managed to finish all my tasks, except one. Who knew just watching YT videos about productivity and getting their lives together would motivate me so much haha.

I was also listening to Lavendaire's podcast. Amazingly, I wasn't stressing out while animating. I just didn't think when I was drawing my frames, because when I overthink, I tend to not get anything done. Also, Andy came in to the PTL. Surprisingly, I had a comfortable chat with him. Usually I get nervous or something and say it strains me to reply, but I just talked to him like I was talking to Genai or someone. Anyway, I managed to work a bit on everything this weekend. Not sure if that's actually good or not lol

I'm really making an effort to sort of make better habits.
I plan to wake up early tomorrow for a run. And then attempt to eat breakfast, but there really isn't anything to eat lol
I will go do my stretches now before I sleep.

Hey! Just wanted to check in on my day of trying to be more productive.

Step 1 was, I turned off most of my notifications! Which I found to be pretty helpful. I got a lot of Kakao and Snapchat messages but I didn't check them 'til after. I also attempted Tide. I think it helped, it's just that, I set the timer for too long for the first round, which drained much of concentration and I wanted to be distracted. I made sure I took my break away from my chair.

Overall, it's been a good day! I watched Ted Talks and other organizational/studying videos on Youtube. I finished my Physics term paper and worked on my animation. Though as I started working on my animation, I really didn't want to keep going ^^; (in my previous post, I mention a Lavendaire video that hit the bull's eye. And one of her points was, you procrastinate because you don't want to do something because you know it's difficult. Or something along those line) I tried to not think too much when working, which meant my work looked more loose.
Arlene said my animation felt stiff. And that's understandable because I really overthought about them and made them too clean.

Anyway, I will keep trying to change my habits and will continue to productivity day 2 tomorrow! Tonight at 2am, we'll jump ahead an hour ToT

A few of my favorite videos from Lavendaire :3


Purpose in Life
Take Control
Finding Meaning in Life
Plan Your Life
3 Things All Creatives Need to Start Doing (More Of) - I really love this video because every single point in this video was a bull's-eye.

Time Management
Stop Procrastinating
The Power of NOW.
Just DO.

Last night, I took some steps to be more productive. I downloaded two apps, one called Bright Todo which is a to-do app with tasks for daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly and another called Tide, which is a focus timer. I'm still not very good with planning my day and actually going through it, but baby steps. I'm trying to find something comfortable for me.
For another to-do app, Aileen (Lavendaire) likes to use Wunderlust. I didn't because I was lazy to make an account lol If you use, let me know how you like it!

Labels: Lavendaire

Currently watching Lavendaire. Found out she released an EP called "Honestly"! The songs are really good. You can stream on Soundcloud~ you can buy it on bandcamp or iTunes :3
She's been my current inspiration, like, she's so cool. I have her podcast on iTunes, so I'ma listen to them soon~ She also gives a lot of free worksheets to get your life together LOL

Oh yeah, also applied for Cinnaholic LOL I'm so glad I worked at Snowman Hot Chocolate x')

Spent the day at SF with Steph. We went to Studio Ghibli's pop-up store and I spent over $300. Sadly, they ran out of the limited edition tote bags for spending over $100 ToT Anyway, I love everything I bought today~ Planned for a vlog, so I videoed the whole day :3 Gotta edit that (also didn't do my Monsta X one haha) Anyway, it's been a long day. Not to mention, we're gonna lose an hour on Sunday *cries* so I have to do as much homework as I can... *sigh*

Favorite song recently: Star Wind Flower Sun; Starry Night
Also, a throbbing headache suddenly? I hope it's not because of my ear... can't say it's an infection though ^^;

Hm, confidence huh?
Minar and I were just talking about being confident (in a different scenario). But I just wanna talk about being confident.

I lack confidence.
In so many aspects.
But one, definitely, is in my work. I'm always afraid to show my work because everyone sees it. Everyone judges it. It's never personal, and I understand that it's all beneficial, but it's still difficult y'know? I'm slowly getting better with accepting that I gotta show my work. I just gotta stop comparing and degrading myself.

My professors say, don't degrade yourself. Don't pre-judge yourself (like with your portfolio for jobs etc.) & let them judge you. Don't apologize for your work. It's like, don't point out your mistakes because it's very possible they hadn't seen it or even thought it was a mistake.

I know the anxiety increases even more when I know for a fact that I didn't put all my effort in the work. I mention this because today, I barely finished my meerkat turnaround, and I just stopped thinking to just do it. I knew we were gonna critique it. It was bad, I thought. Compared to my classmates'. At the same time, I did better than I thought. I did better than I thought, but I still thought it looked bad. During my critique though, my professor said "these look good but... -critique-" and I was so relieved at the same time thinking, how. It's not the first instance where I thought my work looked really bad, but my professor would critique it & say it looked good.

So yeah, a lesson that I need to really remind myself: it may look bad, but to someone else, it could look really good.

--
Side note, I spent a lil' over $30 buying this artbook series of 3 at Flecks Book Sale. Also, we were waiting for them to finish setting up. I was standing between Arlene and Angeline. Andy comes over and greets Stephen and Jing, who were across from us, but they were preoccupied watching something on her phone. I don't even know if they greeted him back ^^; and then he turns to us, and greets me. By name. And I did greet him back. Afterward he just stood there on his phone next to Arlene, and it was sorta awkward (for my part). He left a little bit later, and Arlene does the nudge-nudge to me, and I'm like there wasn't anything to talk about because I saw him in class this morning. lolol. Later she tells me that she had waved to him, but he didn't wave back LOL he must not have seen her xD

I am quite sleepy. I'm glad I got over this week of school. I skipped hip hop for 2 weeks.
Also, going to start listening to Lavendaire's podcast on iTunes. Not to mention UP10TION DROPPED THE MV TEASER THIS MORNING and visual image teaser. And I was almost late to class. And I almost cried because WOOSHIN. I was so hyped. And then during my late class, they dropped the freakin' visual image teaser solo shot, of WOOSHIN. Like, he looks SO GOOD in his photo, and you can tell it's "different" from the other ones, so far. Yo, I'm so ready for them.
Should I buy their album?

Currently in the Pencil Test Lab, waiting for club meeting. I have work to do! but there's a lot of people in the lab .-. My stomach is growling. Waiting for pizzaaaa

Earlier I was at my locker, and Ray passed by and I had looked up. Usually we wouldn't greet each other, but we made eye contact lol also, because I was wearing SHM sweater. Why he seem down...?
I just opened the door for Andy LOL
Wow it's dangerous to blog here ahaha
What was I gonna post about... haha

Hm, is it because it's spring...?
会いたい?---
I had insomnia a few nights ago. I don't remember when haha did I ever mention it? But anyway, I couldn't sleep, and it could be because I had a large milk tea, but I just suddenly started having these thoughts. It was really weird o.o Like, I surprised myself lol Just random thoughts about Robin. Why suddenly? I don't even know. And now, if my brain isn't too preoccupied, I tend to get these infrequent thoughts. Daydreams... Message me privately if you're really curious haha but it's kinda embarrassing :p

Since I've moved in to this apartment, a lot of things have piled up, from on my desk to on my shelf to in my closet. One day, when I have my own permanent place (or you know, another apartment) where I at least have my own room, I can't wait to really organize and just decorate how I want.

Living with sisters mean we always have a shared space. Not that I mind LOL but that means 4 times the amount of stuff. I think we all have a bad habit of "I will need this later" or "This will come in handy in the future" and often times, that's probably like 3/10 times.

Watching all these organized desk tours on YT makes me want to keep myself organized. I don't know... I feel like just fixing myself up. While I'm still working on my sleeping schedule (can't really do much due to workload, but hey, that's something -procrastination- that I need to deal with first), I'm taking baby steps: drinking more water, waking up earlier, showering earlier, eating dinner early, snacking less, and spending less. And to be honest, I've felt a lot better, despite the stress from school. I feel like I can enjoy more things. Right now, the thing I really need is a shelf and/or drawers LOL
How to organize my art supplies, is the question... they're too big. I mean, they're fine in the closet but they stick out... hm...

Meanwhile, I found a new Youtuber, Lavendaire, to watch~
I think this video (12 Habits of Successful Creatives) is something that I really needed.

// 12 HABITS OF SUCCESSFUL CREATIVES
1. Create consistently
2. Don't wait for inspiration
3. Understand that perfection is the enemy
4. Follow their intuition
5. Love to learn
6. Willing to take risks
7. Have a sacred space to create
8. Give themselves space to daydream, be aimless, be bored
9. Fill their inner creative well
10. Meditate or practice mindfulness
11. Practice self care
12. Reinvent themselves

Take care of yourself! (The camera is cool lol)
Also guys, make sure you manage your stress!

Song recommendation: iONE - I Don't Love You
Wow, for once I don't want to blog haha

Anyway, yesterday Steph and I spent our day at Eastridge. Of course, we're not on time because she didn't get up 'til 1pm and also, she had other stuff to do before we went. It was raining when we were out. Ugh, I'm too lazy to repeat anything (ranted to friends and twitter) but there were kids on the bus & one of them gave me an attitude and the chaperone dared to say "They're only 3rd, 4th graders. At least they're better than adults." Uhm... WTactualF. She got me pissed all the way to mall.
[Also, what. I can't believe they broke up. Uhm, I know I didn't really know Cheng, but my impression of him was, he was a nice guy. He really didn't look like the cheating type... you really can't judge a book by its cover. I wonder if Victor knew... I hope Jessica's okay... I don't know what kind of support Arianne's giving her... lolol]

At the mall, we got our tickets to Black Panther, and then we automatically went to Round 1 LOL Steph didn't want to spend but I bought some credits, and got a toy in 4 tries ^^ Had I done it right, I could've gotten it in 2, or even 1, tries lol I felt pretty accomplished hehe. Then we shared a crepe because I was craving. And of course, we had to do a stop at Daiso lol

The movie was really good; I ended up crying towards the middle/end. My eyes were slightly puffy after the movie. At home, my eyes were really tired. I was tired. lolol

Overall, I spent about $60 (which was my guess before after Round 1 lol) but after work today, I'm back down to having spent only rent money haha That's not the correct way of thinking though lol Work was fun today like usual. Jessie helped out again, and we also ate food~ free food & $60 haha Jessie also thought Qiwen was a lot like Samantha LOLOL

Afterward, I went with Arlene to the art building so she could finish her reel for midterm. She rushed because it was snowing in Milpitas lol did I mention there was snow in Stockton/Sacramento a few days ago? LOL but yeah, she got back, and there was only a layer of hail. I went to the Pencil Test Lab to work, though I didn't get much done. First of all, I was very distracted. Plus, I was very reluctant to work. Second, I kept erasing and re-drawing and erasing and re-drawing. So I'm back at square 1. -sigh- I actually have quite a lot to do... OTL.

Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts or at least we are getting there.

I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^

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