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Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/

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ART: dA | tumblr | twitter | instagram

Mainly it's just about point break on last friday on the 24th. ahh.. theres not much to talk about. it was emotional. idk y i started to cry. i just felt like i NEED to.
i really dont kno how to summarize it all... i dont even kno how i felt...
it was weird bcuz my knee-to-knee partner was brandon her. [wat we said to each other is confidential]

in the end, there were the thanks to and sorry speeches.
if i did it, i would thank POLARIS~♥ john & robin (idk y for robin but... idk)
nd tht day [just to myself] i would thank sabreena nd aracely.
i would also say sorry to robin. just because. i guess cuz ppl always be "mean" to him bcuz of me. (nd other times, it's not even me :p)

and after that... idk. i figured nobody will rly stop judging ppl by their appearances. i mean, look at this generation -.-
it was a rly great experience tho. it made me like hugs more than b4. hugs are... somehow special sometimes. other times... hugs r just nice. ^^

still... problems continued, even tho it seemed tht there wont be n e. we're still hiding stuff no matter wat.
nd i'm sorry... just sorry... i can't do n e thing bcuz im not the type to be mean to one person, just to satisfy the other. i'm sorry... but if u hav n e problems w it, let's compromise, k?
i'm sorry for not knowing u more, even if i knew the gist of it. i'm sorry for not bothering to ask n e more. i'm sorry for not being there for u all the time. i'm sorry for hiding as much stuff as u.

i just can't say enuf sorries.
please forgive me.

and even wen u do, i probably won't be n e different. v.v
i don't go thru wat u do. i can't feel wat u do. so tell me. even if i cant help. tell me.
nd i kno most of the time im busy w lots of stuff. sorry...
there were LOTS of things tht i didnt kno about... until today...

.... wow. it was rly nice to rite out all this nd reread it. i kno im forgetting to sorry about something tho w so much on my mind... i just cant help change n e thing. TT

Wow so long ago that i haven't written.
For the most part i was too lazy. > <
And for the rest, i'm just too busy~
Well it has been about 2 months already.
Coming back soon? i don't kno. hope they're hanging in there.

DAY 17---62
(thats about 45 days. too much to list. xD)

GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

aiya. didn't write for a couple days but i still counted on twitter. ^^
BUTTT! i kept missing 11:11 TT for the past 2 days only.
well nothing much. it's been quite a while since they left...
DAY 12
DAY 13
DAY 14
DAY 15
DAY 16

GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

i guess he got shipped out now huh?

u kno wat? i need to release nd relax myself more :\
keep forgetting stuff nd not letting this burden go...
so today is prob michael's last call. they talked a long time.
he's getting shipped out 2moro afternoon.
idk bout anthony tho...
aiyah. been slacking off on exercise. TT
at least i finished my summer rding bk.
went to nancy's house today. they played mahjong.
we (rly just me) were (was) watching "alpha and omega" but didn't finish TT
too many comebacks.
omg nu'est & n-train! <3
nu'est is looking for fans to be their "sandy" for their new mv "SANDY". they'll play the leading role.
omg i want tooooo! xD
nd b2st (finally!) nd infinite~
DAY 10

GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

rawr! didn't write one yesterday. TT^TT
well.. nothing much yesterday n e way.
michael called today. i heard jim talking to him
saying tht it's going away nd i guess it's the bump from the TB shot.
guess he's okay. haha.
she sed tht it's gnna be his last call today or 2moro.
theyre being shipped to places but i think anthony is getting shipped after michael.
same place tho or something. they sound like packages. LOL
well wish them luck!
DAY 8
DAY9

GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

today went to pick jamie up from berkeley.

berkeley was cooooooold! TT
tracy was hotttttt! -.-
well gonna pick up jim 2moro at berk.
err... i was texting her nd she kept saying "shhhh" xD
nd for some reason it reminds me of michael haha. 
we ate at duran cafe at berk.
walkin' walkin' walkin' around berk.
it's gnna be so many days b4 the twins come back...
wonder if i can write tht many posts. xD
DAY 6


GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

Nothing much w the twins.
Michael reported having a bald/bold cut. Haha guess thts a style lol.
Made pancakes today.
My mickey mouse was a fail haha.
It had 1 mouse ear nd 1 cat ear xD
Err... Going berkeley 2moro.
Around 4/5 AM.
DAY 5


GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

yay! anthony finally caught up w/ michael! ^^

This morning michael left for Texas / Oklahoma.
anthony was left in CA cuz his paperwork got messed up. 
michael hopes that anthony can catch up w/ michael b4 training.
it's so sad just thinking bout the lost black goat. TT
my 11:11 wish was better today. 
hope they get back together soon.
DAY 3


GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

Jim said today was gonna be their last day at the Sac. hotel.
They're officially OFFICIALLY flying to their camp 2moro.
i made my first 11:11 wish today. it was pretty messy... i didn't rly kno wat to say.
pixlr-o-matic was so slow in saving the pic tht it was a bit past 11:11 already b4 i posted -.-
instagram is a mess now after being updated nd stuff. jim's still works -.-
my computer is still losing GB. can't w8 'til somehow i can get a new one. argh!
lose weight lose fat lose fat!! skinny down the thigh!! nd lower thigh!! -.-
so new cpu & fix the lumix camera. >.<
im forgetting something... o.o
i just noticed the titles r "TO THE TWINS" when it's rly just thoughts bout them nd stuff. xD
it still includes my stuff haha
DAY 2


GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

Today the twins officially left for their boot camp/army (still confused)
Everyone's sad and stuff :(
I wish them the best of luck. Hope they're safe.
They'll be back in 4-5 months. (But i thought they were leavin agin to JOIN the army for 4 years... idk)
They came to visit us before they left and to drop off some pics.
They gave us hugs before they left. [anthony is so skinny!! :o i think my arms almost went all the way around his waist. LOL] jamie gave michael an extra long hug. i thought it was really cute. she's really gnna miss him. but she aint gnna let tht bother her while he's gone.
they were rly fun. i nvr got the chance to get to kno them. or talk to them much.
i wonder how much they'll change...
how fast is 4 months....
i didnt think tht i would actually miss them... cuz u kno, im not tht close. who knew feelings can develop so fast, even wen u dont interact?
but i do miss them....
they're also basically my inspiration. ^^
DAY 1


GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

on summer break for a while. (did i mention? haha)
well need to start on my summer reading soon.
computer broke again. -.- fix tht later damn.
uh.. wat ive been doing...
err... i can tell u wat ive NOT been doing: saving pics.
rly i think i broke my habit. ^^ rly proud of myself. haha.
only some pics tht i want ya kno. ive controlled myself.
i mean, i dont rly do much... i just HAV them... i dont even edit much.
oh wells. like i dont even hav a VIXX folder. no more exo pics.
mostly only btob, JJ Project... & teen top.
others include comeback pics nd stuff.
i havnt even caught up on new songs. =p


i actually hav more blog posts to catch up w/ but im just so lazy! they're still on my memo on the comp. xDD
well bye for now... im gnna write another post :)

I haven't posted since hecka long. I still hav sticky notes to need to post about but I'm really lazy to. > <
School's out since Wed (06.06.12)
So... maybe there'll be more. I'm just lazy~


So.. yesterday was fun~ ^^
I went to have pho w/ jamie & nancy, tong, anthony, michael, leo, (their cousins) michelle & matt, mai, melissa, bryan, johnmhar, alin, & kurt. [i don't think i missed n e one]
then we hung out at the twins's [michael & anthony] house. at first, everyone did their own thing.
then we had deep-fried oreos (yum!) i took a bite from matt's oreo. it's funny cuz he doesnt even kno me. lol
then we just ate dinner after watching the Fight b/t Manny & Bradley.
it was funny watching the guys get all hyped over manny's loss nd they were all shouting nd cussing. xD
then we watched Ju-on 2. it was hella scary. o.o
i was holding on to axl the whole time. (more like he was holding onto me the whole time)
he made me scream! xD
he watched the beginning so he was whispering to me wat's gnna happen.
he was so close :p nd i was suffocating. LOL
at times where it wasn't scary axl kept singsonging ~i just want to cuddle~
i couldn't NOT laugh. xD
he kept jumping/screaming at the scary parts.
(it was so scary tht wen axl got off the couch, matt took my pillow but i still had axl's sweater but i was like "u stole my pillow" nd he was like sorry nd we shared the pillow. axl jumped on him nd was holding on to both of us. xD)
[yeh 5 ppl on a couch. it was from left to right (facing us) me, axl, matt, michael, and jamie. it was so squishy. xD matt was like "i feel like the 5th wheel. xD i think it was nancy/tong/bryan tht was like "i thot axl was hugging a pillow but then i saw a moving head. LOL]
it was so like THRILLING nd scary nd stuff. i was suffocated. xP nd we were like sweating (we barely started nd axl had to take off his sweater after the 1st scream. xD) nd stuff. lol
some ppl didnt watch w/ us. like leo. he wore my blue sweater from coach. he looked like a stick! lol. i can't even say 'he stretched out my sweater' cuz he's too skinny! lol. well yeah he was wearing it the whole time when we were watching the Fight. some ppl were saying like ur still wearing tht sweater. nd he sed it's actually not tht bad cuz it's not that thick. he nd axl were teaching me how to solve a rubix cube. he was supposed to write down the algorithms or something like tht.
so we watched until 3 something. (did i tell u we were out of the house since 1PM? i woke up at 12:30 too. xD) at first we watched some other scary movie (chebyul diaries?) but we didn't get it. it was all dark nd stuff nd we just didn't kno wat was happening. so they stopped like half-way & watched ju-on 2. it's a jap movie. after finishing ju-on 2 we watched the legend of fists: the return of chen zhen. something like tht. 
we didnt finish tht one; we went home. (i was scared. >.<) leo was still wearing my sweater so i told jim to get it for me. she went inside to say bye to those ppl in the room. she sed we're going now. nd he was like ok bye. nd my sister was like uh the sweater? xD he liked tht sweater tht much? haha.
so like i got home, smelling like axl nd leo. LOL. i didnt give a hug to axl. :( i regret it~ he said ur welcome (or thank u?) for the protection. i just smiled nd left nd bumped into michael. xDD
i was like oh sorry. but then i noticed he was waiting for a hug. haha.
ill be sure to give ppl hugs cuz like they like hugs for some reason. lol.


well tht's a long post. i hope i didnt forget n e thing. 
nd i posted on FB bout it nd ppl liked it rite? this is funny. xD




^these 3 r brothers nd they're like all listed in a row. i find tht rly cool. lol


[UPDATE: i'm so itchyyy!! i can't stop scratching. TT nd my diet's not going very well. :p i want CHICKENNN! lol. i think i still smell like axl... LOLOL]

Mainly it's just about point break on last friday on the 24th. ahh.. theres not much to talk about. it was emotional. idk y i started to cry. i just felt like i NEED to.
i really dont kno how to summarize it all... i dont even kno how i felt...
it was weird bcuz my knee-to-knee partner was brandon her. [wat we said to each other is confidential]

in the end, there were the thanks to and sorry speeches.
if i did it, i would thank POLARIS~♥ john & robin (idk y for robin but... idk)
nd tht day [just to myself] i would thank sabreena nd aracely.
i would also say sorry to robin. just because. i guess cuz ppl always be "mean" to him bcuz of me. (nd other times, it's not even me :p)

and after that... idk. i figured nobody will rly stop judging ppl by their appearances. i mean, look at this generation -.-
it was a rly great experience tho. it made me like hugs more than b4. hugs are... somehow special sometimes. other times... hugs r just nice. ^^

still... problems continued, even tho it seemed tht there wont be n e. we're still hiding stuff no matter wat.
nd i'm sorry... just sorry... i can't do n e thing bcuz im not the type to be mean to one person, just to satisfy the other. i'm sorry... but if u hav n e problems w it, let's compromise, k?
i'm sorry for not knowing u more, even if i knew the gist of it. i'm sorry for not bothering to ask n e more. i'm sorry for not being there for u all the time. i'm sorry for hiding as much stuff as u.

i just can't say enuf sorries.
please forgive me.

and even wen u do, i probably won't be n e different. v.v
i don't go thru wat u do. i can't feel wat u do. so tell me. even if i cant help. tell me.
nd i kno most of the time im busy w lots of stuff. sorry...
there were LOTS of things tht i didnt kno about... until today...

.... wow. it was rly nice to rite out all this nd reread it. i kno im forgetting to sorry about something tho w so much on my mind... i just cant help change n e thing. TT

Wow so long ago that i haven't written.
For the most part i was too lazy. > <
And for the rest, i'm just too busy~
Well it has been about 2 months already.
Coming back soon? i don't kno. hope they're hanging in there.

DAY 17---62
(thats about 45 days. too much to list. xD)

GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

aiya. didn't write for a couple days but i still counted on twitter. ^^
BUTTT! i kept missing 11:11 TT for the past 2 days only.
well nothing much. it's been quite a while since they left...
DAY 12
DAY 13
DAY 14
DAY 15
DAY 16

GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

i guess he got shipped out now huh?

u kno wat? i need to release nd relax myself more :\
keep forgetting stuff nd not letting this burden go...
so today is prob michael's last call. they talked a long time.
he's getting shipped out 2moro afternoon.
idk bout anthony tho...
aiyah. been slacking off on exercise. TT
at least i finished my summer rding bk.
went to nancy's house today. they played mahjong.
we (rly just me) were (was) watching "alpha and omega" but didn't finish TT
too many comebacks.
omg nu'est & n-train! <3
nu'est is looking for fans to be their "sandy" for their new mv "SANDY". they'll play the leading role.
omg i want tooooo! xD
nd b2st (finally!) nd infinite~
DAY 10

GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

rawr! didn't write one yesterday. TT^TT
well.. nothing much yesterday n e way.
michael called today. i heard jim talking to him
saying tht it's going away nd i guess it's the bump from the TB shot.
guess he's okay. haha.
she sed tht it's gnna be his last call today or 2moro.
theyre being shipped to places but i think anthony is getting shipped after michael.
same place tho or something. they sound like packages. LOL
well wish them luck!
DAY 8
DAY9

GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

today went to pick jamie up from berkeley.

berkeley was cooooooold! TT
tracy was hotttttt! -.-
well gonna pick up jim 2moro at berk.
err... i was texting her nd she kept saying "shhhh" xD
nd for some reason it reminds me of michael haha. 
we ate at duran cafe at berk.
walkin' walkin' walkin' around berk.
it's gnna be so many days b4 the twins come back...
wonder if i can write tht many posts. xD
DAY 6


GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

Nothing much w the twins.
Michael reported having a bald/bold cut. Haha guess thts a style lol.
Made pancakes today.
My mickey mouse was a fail haha.
It had 1 mouse ear nd 1 cat ear xD
Err... Going berkeley 2moro.
Around 4/5 AM.
DAY 5


GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

yay! anthony finally caught up w/ michael! ^^

This morning michael left for Texas / Oklahoma.
anthony was left in CA cuz his paperwork got messed up. 
michael hopes that anthony can catch up w/ michael b4 training.
it's so sad just thinking bout the lost black goat. TT
my 11:11 wish was better today. 
hope they get back together soon.
DAY 3


GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

Jim said today was gonna be their last day at the Sac. hotel.
They're officially OFFICIALLY flying to their camp 2moro.
i made my first 11:11 wish today. it was pretty messy... i didn't rly kno wat to say.
pixlr-o-matic was so slow in saving the pic tht it was a bit past 11:11 already b4 i posted -.-
instagram is a mess now after being updated nd stuff. jim's still works -.-
my computer is still losing GB. can't w8 'til somehow i can get a new one. argh!
lose weight lose fat lose fat!! skinny down the thigh!! nd lower thigh!! -.-
so new cpu & fix the lumix camera. >.<
im forgetting something... o.o
i just noticed the titles r "TO THE TWINS" when it's rly just thoughts bout them nd stuff. xD
it still includes my stuff haha
DAY 2


GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

Today the twins officially left for their boot camp/army (still confused)
Everyone's sad and stuff :(
I wish them the best of luck. Hope they're safe.
They'll be back in 4-5 months. (But i thought they were leavin agin to JOIN the army for 4 years... idk)
They came to visit us before they left and to drop off some pics.
They gave us hugs before they left. [anthony is so skinny!! :o i think my arms almost went all the way around his waist. LOL] jamie gave michael an extra long hug. i thought it was really cute. she's really gnna miss him. but she aint gnna let tht bother her while he's gone.
they were rly fun. i nvr got the chance to get to kno them. or talk to them much.
i wonder how much they'll change...
how fast is 4 months....
i didnt think tht i would actually miss them... cuz u kno, im not tht close. who knew feelings can develop so fast, even wen u dont interact?
but i do miss them....
they're also basically my inspiration. ^^
DAY 1


GOOD LUCK & BE SAFE!! MICHAEL & ANTHONY ZAPANTA!
MISS & LOVE U GUYS! :')

on summer break for a while. (did i mention? haha)
well need to start on my summer reading soon.
computer broke again. -.- fix tht later damn.
uh.. wat ive been doing...
err... i can tell u wat ive NOT been doing: saving pics.
rly i think i broke my habit. ^^ rly proud of myself. haha.
only some pics tht i want ya kno. ive controlled myself.
i mean, i dont rly do much... i just HAV them... i dont even edit much.
oh wells. like i dont even hav a VIXX folder. no more exo pics.
mostly only btob, JJ Project... & teen top.
others include comeback pics nd stuff.
i havnt even caught up on new songs. =p


i actually hav more blog posts to catch up w/ but im just so lazy! they're still on my memo on the comp. xDD
well bye for now... im gnna write another post :)

I haven't posted since hecka long. I still hav sticky notes to need to post about but I'm really lazy to. > <
School's out since Wed (06.06.12)
So... maybe there'll be more. I'm just lazy~


So.. yesterday was fun~ ^^
I went to have pho w/ jamie & nancy, tong, anthony, michael, leo, (their cousins) michelle & matt, mai, melissa, bryan, johnmhar, alin, & kurt. [i don't think i missed n e one]
then we hung out at the twins's [michael & anthony] house. at first, everyone did their own thing.
then we had deep-fried oreos (yum!) i took a bite from matt's oreo. it's funny cuz he doesnt even kno me. lol
then we just ate dinner after watching the Fight b/t Manny & Bradley.
it was funny watching the guys get all hyped over manny's loss nd they were all shouting nd cussing. xD
then we watched Ju-on 2. it was hella scary. o.o
i was holding on to axl the whole time. (more like he was holding onto me the whole time)
he made me scream! xD
he watched the beginning so he was whispering to me wat's gnna happen.
he was so close :p nd i was suffocating. LOL
at times where it wasn't scary axl kept singsonging ~i just want to cuddle~
i couldn't NOT laugh. xD
he kept jumping/screaming at the scary parts.
(it was so scary tht wen axl got off the couch, matt took my pillow but i still had axl's sweater but i was like "u stole my pillow" nd he was like sorry nd we shared the pillow. axl jumped on him nd was holding on to both of us. xD)
[yeh 5 ppl on a couch. it was from left to right (facing us) me, axl, matt, michael, and jamie. it was so squishy. xD matt was like "i feel like the 5th wheel. xD i think it was nancy/tong/bryan tht was like "i thot axl was hugging a pillow but then i saw a moving head. LOL]
it was so like THRILLING nd scary nd stuff. i was suffocated. xP nd we were like sweating (we barely started nd axl had to take off his sweater after the 1st scream. xD) nd stuff. lol
some ppl didnt watch w/ us. like leo. he wore my blue sweater from coach. he looked like a stick! lol. i can't even say 'he stretched out my sweater' cuz he's too skinny! lol. well yeah he was wearing it the whole time when we were watching the Fight. some ppl were saying like ur still wearing tht sweater. nd he sed it's actually not tht bad cuz it's not that thick. he nd axl were teaching me how to solve a rubix cube. he was supposed to write down the algorithms or something like tht.
so we watched until 3 something. (did i tell u we were out of the house since 1PM? i woke up at 12:30 too. xD) at first we watched some other scary movie (chebyul diaries?) but we didn't get it. it was all dark nd stuff nd we just didn't kno wat was happening. so they stopped like half-way & watched ju-on 2. it's a jap movie. after finishing ju-on 2 we watched the legend of fists: the return of chen zhen. something like tht. 
we didnt finish tht one; we went home. (i was scared. >.<) leo was still wearing my sweater so i told jim to get it for me. she went inside to say bye to those ppl in the room. she sed we're going now. nd he was like ok bye. nd my sister was like uh the sweater? xD he liked tht sweater tht much? haha.
so like i got home, smelling like axl nd leo. LOL. i didnt give a hug to axl. :( i regret it~ he said ur welcome (or thank u?) for the protection. i just smiled nd left nd bumped into michael. xDD
i was like oh sorry. but then i noticed he was waiting for a hug. haha.
ill be sure to give ppl hugs cuz like they like hugs for some reason. lol.


well tht's a long post. i hope i didnt forget n e thing. 
nd i posted on FB bout it nd ppl liked it rite? this is funny. xD




^these 3 r brothers nd they're like all listed in a row. i find tht rly cool. lol


[UPDATE: i'm so itchyyy!! i can't stop scratching. TT nd my diet's not going very well. :p i want CHICKENNN! lol. i think i still smell like axl... LOLOL]

Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts or at least we are getting there.

I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^

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