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Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/
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: afeeqah azhar, 19 march, malaysian .+ follow | Email | twitter |
Parents man... -.-
written on Monday, January 26, 2015 @ 11:42 PM ✈
Sheeshus! So yesterday my parents got in a freakin' argument over nothing. My aunt happened to be here and you know what happens when a relative is over: bigger fights. My aunt kept yelling at my dad for "bullying" my mom (okay, this part of the whole argument was stupid from both sides, like ya'lls need to learn your definitions before you guys argue ugh) So my mom kept trying to force my aunt to go home but she wouldn't leave. These freakin' two people would not back down, I swear. So my dad yelled himself hoarse, I seriously do not understand how. [Forreals, he need to figure out why we all nag him so much. He finds no problem with his actions and/or speech.] So now, my parents are sleeping separate. My dad still as annoying as ever. Can't wait to leave this house. (I'm bound to come back but right now...) 0 comment[s] | back to topWhat is love?
written on @ 12:44 AM ✈
Things happened... well I guess not really haha just that I feel like I should write this down & get it outta my head.
Junior & Aliza are back together.
I don't really know what to think about that. I mean, I'm not like completely heartbroken or anything. I guess it "hurts" a little? But at the same time, not really. I never thought there could be a chance anyway; I'm just glad that we could be friends. I wouldn't even mind if he spent "more time" with me bc he needed someone; I'm just glad I could be of help, of some kind of support.
I mean, I ship them. So there's this weird conflict. Do I want them together? Or would I rather them stay apart? And this is where the guilt takes place...
I really didn't think too much when I noticed signs of them being back together. Before they dated, he was on my list of "cute guys" right? After they dated, I didn't think of anything more. Then after that day at the mall, after they had broken up, I started to have a crush on him. And I feel it was nothing more than a crush, that I had let myself to freely thinking about this crush now that there was no "restrictions" aka his gf.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've always had a habit of having some kind of crush to daydream about, like with Javi back in 5th-8th grade. It keeps me occupied. So it might feel weird now to let go of this habit now.
It was nice while it lasted. Now I just need to slowly let it go. It may take a few days, but I should be free then. (Which reminds me, I should design my phoenix now. I feel that it fits me: I could be reborn after every crush :') )
It's not like I'm crying, more like every time I think about them, I "force" myself to hurt a little, to ache a little... bc I want that "drama" feeling, those anime moments. And then I tell myself, why are you so stupid? If you don't hurt, don't force yourself. But then I'm lost: what do I really feel?
What is love?
I feel better now ^^ letting it all go~ Did I mention that Alena got jealous over me & Orion watching a vid on his iPhone... for a MESA project? It was pretty scary. Which is why I would never be a 3rd person in a relationship; I would never want to be responsible & feel all the guilt for ruining a perfectly good relatonship :p Just saying that was my 1st experience, that anyone, would get jealous over me & some guy. 0 comment[s] | back to topSleepy zzZ
written on Tuesday, January 20, 2015 @ 9:22 PM ✈
Tired from conditioning today > < My back hurts from the ab workout. Last Saturday we were at SF Bintang playing badminton. Barely got over my soreness today lol or yesterday. Other hangouts happened. Ricky made a GroupMe. So 'sticky sticky' LOL. I don't know what's up with him... Anyway I'm so sleepy right now. We moved out of grandpa's place and yesterday we were busy moving things and cleaning up. Still not done. I have so much trashhh and things I want to keep. So didn't start econ. hw til around 10 something at night. Finished around 2? But I was distracted by deviantart and adopting that I slept at 3. I can't find my sharpener TT The one I got from 99c. 0 comment[s] | back to topBowling & Late Nights
written on Sunday, January 11, 2015 @ 11:13 PM ✈
So yesterday we went bowling from 10-12:45PM with Qi, Alin, Tong, Nancy, Connie, & Brandan. Ricky came later, ready for the 2nd round. After bowling, we went to Jack in the Box, grabbed some "breakfast." Jim rode in Ricky's car. The funny thing was Ricky, Brandan, & Tong ran into Alin's car, ordered with them, & ran out LOL. The other funny thing was, when we went to Nancy's, I noticed all the cars were boy+girl except for me & Jen LOL. At Nancy's we ate and then played Taboo. After Taboo (around 3:15AM) we were messing around & they were betting on squatting while carrying Alin LOL. That was funny. Qi said she'll treat us to breakfast if we stay up past 5/ 5:30AM lol. After that, we sat around telling stories bc it started w Alin saying he saw something in our condo on the first night. *shivers* Then we just kept talking about random topics: ghosts, dogs, rats, superstitious stuff, high school memories, love letters in middle school (Tong's popularity+drama), Ricky showing off his body to a drunk girl so she would leave (LOLOLOLOLOLOL I'm dying), relationships-ish, funny/scary memories.... We were up til 8AM-ish. Everyone was lazy to get up. Liang texted Qi so we were like let's go visit him~ so we went to 8 Mile Road's McD in the Walmart. Liang served us & gave us free drinks~ kekeke. I got a Mocha Frap. so I was up after we got home. Everyone was tired so we all went home after saying bye to Liang. Tong & Brandan had to go cut up some pig or something. It was crazyyy I was up til 7:45PM, took a 30 min nap, got up. Slept around 11-12 after putting on masks~ 0 comment[s] | back to top3 Day Trip!
written on Saturday, January 10, 2015 @ 3:34 PM ✈
You wanna know all about it? Well I wanna remember it. lol 01.07.15 So we got ready in the morning on Wednesday, Jan 7. Liang came to pick me and Jim up to go to Sacramento to meet up with Ricky and Jen. But we had to wait for Brandan and Connie so we went to iHop since they were hungry. We ate at iHop and waited for Brandan & Connie but they were hecka late so we just packed some pancakes for them and were going to meet them at Nancy's house. We still had to wait for them after we got to Nancy's. Jim was getting annoyed waiting for them. When they finally got here, we packed up everything in Brandan's truck and drove to Sac. When we got there we had to wait for Ricky like 5-ish min. for him to get back from checking his car. Finally everyone was at Ricky's and when everything was ready, we headed out to Tahoe. Me, Jen, Jim, and Liang rode in Ricky's car. Alin, Tong, Nancy, and Connie rode in Brandan's truck. The ride was long. Our speed limit was slow bc we had to wait for Brandan's safe-driving; he was following our car & every time we turned around, we'd lose his car xD We took a pit stop at this gas station. And then back on the road. I think I fell asleep a little on the way but nothing happened. We finally got to Tahoe. It was around 5PM. Alin and the guys went to check-in for us. Then we moved into our little condo. It was so nice~ Then I think we went down to the lobby to play. We played ping-pong & billiard. They also hopped into the pool. When we played ping-pong, Ricky & Brandan played a game against this father & son who were from Maryland. They looked Chinese but we don't know. We went back to our apt. & prepared to eat dinna. Connie, Jim, Alin, & Nancy baked chicken wings in the oven while others took turn showering. They baked 3 thin crust pizzas but nobody really ate them. Nancy cooked rice that was dry xD Brandan & someone bought Smirnoff, raspberry taste. It smelled pretty good. He wanted to do a group "gan bei" with shots (red shot cup). (I tried some too but like 2 drops mixed w Sunny D. It wasn't that bad, but probably cause I can hardly taste it. The aftertaste burned my throat for like 20 sec.) We were playing Cards Against Humanities and Ricky was a little high and crazy bc of the shots xD His face was red. Man, I was dying of laughter, & he was loud and everyone kept shushing him LOL. When we finally went to sleep, it was like a little after 2AM I think? and we were vlogging. Ricky was texting Jen/Jim, saying Alin & Liang were snoring so loud, so we invited him to sleep in our room. He came into our room with his bolsters and slept on the floor next to the bed, in front of the nightstand, under the window. 01.08.15 We woke up the next morning, pretty early. Liang called Jim at 6:50AM, and Ricky popped up hecka fast when she picked up. Jim went over to Alin & Liang's room, across from us, to say good morning & got ready in our master bedroom. I have a slight memory of seeing Jim walk by and waking me but I was too tired so I told her I didn't want to go. Liang, Ricky, & Jim walked over to the lobby to the gym, from 7:15-8AM-ish. They came back and sat in the living room to kill time since no one else was awake. I woke up around 8ish, when they came back, & me and Jen went out to them. They decided to cook breakfast. Brandan & Connie who were sleeping in the living room's murphy bed (in-wall bed) got up. Ricky cooked rice & said "who cooked rice yesterdy? It was dry." It was the same thing Jim said LOL. They cooked a lot of bacon. Ricky cooked 2 eggs for Liang. Jim did the dishes. I came out of the room with the camera & ate some bacon. Alin woke up, a lil sick, & asked Jim if he should go wake up Nancy & Tong. She said yah, then she started cooking hash browns. I think Connie made pancakes afterward & made me a chocolate chip pancake; her pancakes were so floofy~ Then I think I went to play the Monopoly deal card game with Tong, Ricky, and Liang. Afterward we went to the lake, playing snowball fights along the way. It was a long walk. We had to go down the icy trail, & we took a pic there. We had to walk through this soft sand to reach the lakeside. We took lots of pictures and took a group one, which was difficult to take LOL Nancy & Jen left the camera on a stump up a slight rise, facing the lake. Then Ricky had to run down from there, after clicking the timer so we could take a pic of us looking out into the lake. We also met a fluffy dog named Ruby. So soft~ We trekked back around 1 or 2? I don't remember. On the way back we met a 12 week old puppy. It was so happy & loveddd attention. The owner was nice too. Me, Jen, & Jim stopped on the way to build a small snowman while the others went back first. We got back & I ate a pancake. They were watching Walking Dead & Jen and Jim were inside the room. Soon after went out to the city. The group that rode in Ricky's car hopped onto the back of Brandan's truck to get dropped off at Ricky's car, parked in the parking lot across the lodge. We drove to the city & parked in the casino's parking lot. We walked through the casino & arcade & when we got outside, we came out right next to the horse carriages/city tour. We went to meet the biggo horsie, named Duke! lol. I got to pet it. It was tooooo cute~ Then we just walked through shops. We were pretty bored though. We went to Starbucks after they bought candy at a store. I guess Ricky saw us look tired so he offered to drive us back. We walked back to the casino, but then they wanted to gamble for a while I guess so me, Jen, & Jim went down to the casino. We went a little crazy playing games. xD The rest came to see us when we barely just started to play. Ricky left us his keys and they went back up to the casino. After an hour or two, Alin, Liang, & Nancy joined us. We got around 700 points to redeem when the rest were done gambling so we redeemed a raccoon plush + 3 airplane kits. We drove back but they went back out to gamble, only me, Jen, Jim, Alin, & Nancy stayed. We were watching 2 Broke Girls; Jim fell asleep. Alin, Nancy, & Jen went out to buy stuff. The others came back before Jen did, so we waited. When everyone came back, some showered earlier while others prepared KBBQ stuff. We ate and watched The Giver. Afterward everyone went to sleep. Ricky slept in our room again. Ricky was talking a lot so when it was quiet, I thought they were done, so I fell asleep. I guess I fell asleep pretty fast bc apparently, Ricky and Jim talked til like 5:30AM before falling asleep. 01.09.15 Last day of the trip! The crew woke up around 9-10ish. We cleaned up and packed everything, moved everything to the cars. Alin checked us out around noon. I think we went to eat Thai food at MyThai after that. After eating we drove back to go to the icy lake (was it lake tahoe? 'cause maybe the 1st lake on day 2 was nevada beach ahaha) Anyway we played on ice and Ricky and them so "bak yeem", jumping on floating ice. They would step & jump on them and the water would come up onto the ice. We took lots of pics, selfies, & vids. Afterwards we were done, we went back to find some snow. We found a snowy slope & played for about 2 hours or so. We finally built an actual snowman. When I was at the bottom of the slope, Ricky threw a snowball at me unawares. It hit my ear & it hurt, real bad. We also built our own snowy slide. All that's on video! :D Our shoes & butt got wet so we towelled the car seats, changed our shoes, & went to McD to eat & change our clothes. Whew. That's a lot of writing! But it's 3 days. I don't know if I missed anything but it was fun! Everyone got back to Ricky's in Sacramento. Then everyone's tired so we all went home. Labels: lake tahoe 0 comment[s] | back to topWhoops.
written on Tuesday, January 6, 2015 @ 9:58 PM ✈
So earlier Friday (1/2) I went to hang w Meimei & Jessica. Mina couldn't make it. We went to Hobby Lobby and got stuff. I got my Sakura gelly roll and Shrinky Dinks! *swoon* But it took us forever to find the Shrinky Dinks, & when we did, there was only one left bc somebody decided to steal all the plastics from the other packet. So at night, I called mom to come pick me up. She didn't bring her phone so she couldn't call me to tell me she was out there. So she waited about an hr. And I was talking with Jessica about Junior bc she doesn't know LOL. Anyway, got out there & mom was pissed. The next day was fine. The End :p 0 comment[s] | back to topMovie Date!
written on @ 9:20 PM ✈
Today went on a movie date with Jessica~ we were both late xD I had a tight schedule~ in the morning me & Jo went back to school for yearbook stuff & I had a headache. Then at 2:15 I went to badminton preconditiong (but got there early). Conditioned but felt sick afterward. Then I rushed home to shower & meet up with Jessica. We were 20 min. late. The West Ln. theater was comfy & warm. We watched Penguins of Madagacar. Junior & Deilys were supposed to come but they flaked lol jkay one is sick & the other couldn't come. After the movies, me and Jessica played the gatchas. We went for the Birthstone Bears. Luckily I got mine! Keke & it's pink~ Jessica got a purple one (June) Yesterday I asked Deilys for what time & he told me he couldn't go. So then I go ask Junior if he's still going & he said he's too sick to go, but maybe. Today he said he couldn't make it. To be honest, I didn't have much hope for him to say yes. Even though I felt like he didn't want to go any more after I said Deilys wasn't going? But, I don't wanna overthink things. 0 comment[s] | back to topRollerblading~
written on Monday, December 29, 2014 @ 12:41 AM ✈
Whee! Today we went rollerblading with Ricky, Liang, Alin, Connie, Linda, & Weicheng. It's too much to say but in summary, we went rollerblading at the rink. Tong was there too but he didn't skate. Leo and Mai came too. They were playing. And they did the 'Red Light Green Light' game lol Weicheng played in-line skating before but he went too fast I guess and slipped. Owie. He was like 2ft in the air. We also did choo-choo train. xD He had to pull me, jim, nd jen. The 1st time, I was at the end and every time we turned, I'd swerve out of line. lol. The 2nd time I was holding onto him but I didn't know how to hold on to him. xD (I held on to Jen by her pants xD) so I was pulling so hard on his sweater that it was going to rip (not really) haha At the end when we were stopping we ended up crashing & I almost fell but Weicheng was holding me up LOL Ricky was choo-choo train-ing w/ Liang and I was gonna grab onto Ricky, but Ricky let go-ed. The next second Liang slipped and fell back. Oh goodness xD Afterward we went to In 'n Out ('cause I wanted In 'n Out) & we ate~ yumyumyum~ We ate outside bc there was no more room inside. It was so coldddd. After we were done eating we had to wait for Nancy, but it took them so long to get to us. Then we had to wait for their order of food (we were all done eating, just sitting/standing outside) but their food took too long & we had to leave to see grandpa (me & Jo went to hotpot at Auntie's w/ Gonggong & PoPo). Now me is going to finish Free! :D Man.. this winter break is not long enough... I have to do stuff for colleges/scholarships but I don't know what. Ughhh 0 comment[s] | back to topMerry Christmas!
written on Friday, December 26, 2014 @ 1:45 AM ✈
It's been another year! 2014 went by very fast, especially first semester. Things happened since Winter Break started. Uhm, YeYe had to go to the hospital. He was at St. Joseph's ICU for a day or 2? Then he moved to the regular patient room. This week's gone by so fast and all we've done is doing our errands and visiting him. We stay at the hospital for quite a while. Today we had a Christmas hotpot, drop off gifts, and stayed at YeYe's again. Hm. I don't know why it has to be during Christmas. Not to mention I got a slight fever on Christmas Eve lol. But only for a day. It'd suck to be sick on Christmas. I've been lazy on my art too. Sigh I dunnooo~ I'm getting fat too TT and a sore throat; too much chocolate, candy, and I just ate chips. ugh. Gotta start winter workout for Coach. /dies Nothing else worth mentioning sooo I guess I'll sleep :) 0 comment[s] | back to topAww...
written on Sunday, December 21, 2014 @ 2:03 AM ✈
So Junior messaged me, and we were just chatting. Apparently something's bothering him, and I can't help him with that... Even though it hasn't been "solved" yet, he sounded cheerful when he was talking to me. I hope whatever it is works itself out... Sounds serious though. We were too "hak hei" to each other lol. Like he said, "We so polite and nice ~" LOL 1 comment[s] | back to topMoot court
written on Tuesday, December 16, 2014 @ 12:52 AM ✈
So after school we went to B&N Starbucks to work on our moot court. Then we just started talking about guys and gossiping about couples at school. Then we got to who I like, I don't even know how LOL Afterward we went to Stephanie's house. The whole time they were just teasing me about him. xD And Steph wouldn't tell us who she likes. *a lot of stuff happened but that'll take too long to say. and it's too cold to type. and I have to go finish up hw* Another burden lifted. I feel better. Then I came home and skyped Jen & Jim. And then they got me thinking about stuff again. Like I daydream about stuff happening; in reality I know it won't; I'm 50/50 on wanting something to happen; and I wouldn't know what to say if something did happen-do I want to say yes or no? Either way, it's senior year and I don't think anything's gonna happen :p 0 comment[s] | back to topFinals Week
written on Monday, December 15, 2014 @ 12:02 AM ✈
Today spent almost the whole day at Jessie's working on the moot court but we were distracted by Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior lol. They were looking through winter formal pics. Junior & Roberto took a pic and d'awww they so cute~ hehe. Man, he's still on FB. I wanted to chat w/ him, but naw. Doing EOP but kind of gave up :p Proud of doing Christmas cards~ ^^ Finishing them up and having mom send them tomorrow~ Then I gotta do the ones for my friends before Friday... Actually have to sleep since I gotta get up early to buy a blue book tomorrow... ugh. One final tomorrow. I actually don't even know what to dooo~ Anyway, nights! Can't wait til this week is ovah~ 0 comment[s] | back to topFinals~
written on Wednesday, December 10, 2014 @ 1:20 AM ✈
Tomorrow (today) is going to be my first college final of this year. Bleh. Com St 7. But woot! Then I don't have to worry about that class anymore~ Studying for it now. Was working on the Anthro paper today. 3-ish hours and only got 2 paragraphs done -.- Weellll I mean I guess. Was talking to Min-E & she suddenly brought up how everytime she sees him, it reminds her of me. LOL. O gosh. xD (Huh. I seem to avoid using his name now lol I don't even know why >3>) Badminton pre-conditioning on Mon, Wed, & Fri. Why. On. Every. Day. I. Have. P.E. -__- I mean, extra exercise. Yay (sarcasm) I'm just really lazy to go lol. I think that's the day... and Yay! Lake Tahoe at the end of winter break! Let's bring Olaf to lifeeee! ^^ 0 comment[s] | back to topLove is an open door~
written on Sunday, December 7, 2014 @ 9:41 PM ✈
What have you done to meeee? lol I don't regret meeting you, though :) However, you're killing me right now (not to be dramatic/extreme), but I need to stop daydreaming... I need to stop thinking about you because you're distracting~ ♥ You make my heart skip a beat when I see you online... 0 comment[s] | back to topLonely?
written on Saturday, December 6, 2014 @ 6:07 PM ✈
Is it weird that sometimes I feel left out?
Yet I don't think I'm the only one...
Huh. I tend to think about this stuff when I'm in a group and I don't talk. Happens in ASL all the time.
Actually, naw. I don't want to mention anything I guess. It wasn't intentional so whatever.
Once again reaffirms Victor's reasoning in not having a group. hehe
0 comment[s] | back to topMint-teh~
written on @ 12:48 AM ✈
Came home after FNL to find my Mac accessories awaiting me~! So I quickly put them on. The bottom case didn't snap on all the way tho -3- close enough I guess. Now I can safely put them away~ <3 *now that I look at it, it looks more like turquoise. Oh wells. it looked more mint the first time I saw it! lol Gotta make the decals now. Tomorrow maybe? Whee~ 0 comment[s] | back to topAnother good day~ ^^
written on Thursday, December 4, 2014 @ 8:37 PM ✈
Huh. I wonder why this week is going so well~ Good days~ and on such happy days, I treat myself (Quickly, as of now haha) When I'm stress-free, I guess I get really happy. ^^ 0 comment[s] | back to topAll told~
written on @ 12:51 AM ✈
So I finally told Min-E about my "crush" (I guess) lol And I also told Samantha over FB. It was fun talking to her ahaha. I told her most of the details. I don't know why but I felt like I had to tell someone about it. Now I can stop thinking about it. Maybe. *sigh* Anyway, I was also trying to deal with Mac stuff. It wasn't working -_- I'm so done with Mac. :p 0 comment[s] | back to topStupid Ass
written on Tuesday, November 25, 2014 @ 6:23 PM ✈
Omy freakin' GOD. How can Richard be so god damn stupid. Like SHUT UP. GOD. Why does he gotta be a freakin' damn kid. NOBODY wants to tell you anything because you always forget. Both just to tell you and to tell you to do something. You freakin' forget EVERYTHING we tell you. NOBODY wants to tell you anything because you always want it your goddamn way. NOBODY freakin' cares about what/how you want something. Like the freakin damn thing is for auntie or whoever, not for you. This is why I'm starting to not bother with your permission for anything. I am switching my major away from pre-pharm whether you freakin' like it or not. I'm gonna go get a boyfriend, whether he's Chinese or freakin' not. I DON'T EVEN CARE WHAT YOU THINK ANYMORE. 0 comment[s] | back to topStop stop it~
written on @ 6:10 PM ✈
I wonder why I even agree to those phone calls xD Like, I seriously hesitate to talk to people on the phone, only a few people talk to me on the phone. lol.
But for some reason, I readily agreed with it?
No talking for one day, and I feel like I miss him... which is weird. /slaps self.
I'm starting to overthink. But I keep reminding myself that it's nothing more. (Even though I may be wishing for something more...) but then I'm also wishing that there's nothing. I'm being torn apart that I'm soon going to have a split personality...
Omgee noooo I can't! > <
Sigh... Why must I be a darn Libraaaaa~
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