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Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/

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Things happened haha but I don't know what's worth to remember... so many funny things though haha. Well, last night I slept around 5am fixing up my cube rendering and re-drawing my cylinder. Let's skip what I did last night lol

I accidentally took a nap yesterday afternoon when I didn't mean to. Oh yeah, my nap gave me a really weird dream! haha --which I will copy & paste from Kakao bc I'm too lazy to type it out again lol--
2/17 dream: "I just remembered my nap dream xD it was hyung nd his friend tht bea thinks is cute. We call him chingu. In summary, we were having dinner, w me sitting next to hyung nd bea sitting next to chingu. At the end chingu said he'll pay nd then bea had to write down smthing bout who was paying nd she didnt kno his name so she asked hyung.
Then it was just me sitting. Chingu came back and sat next to me. I think hyung was across? But idr seeing him. Then bea came back nd i was sitting so close to chingu nd asked if she wanted to squeeze in next to me. Scene skip. We were waiting somewhere. Bea sat somewhere else from me nd chingu was somewhere else. Then hyung came back and threw this bundle of clothes on me. It was blue nd pink reversible knit sweaters for me bea nd leann. We were surprised nd asked y nd he said he just wanted to give a gift. Nd we were like thanksss. Leanns was a cute blue sweater w jean parts while mine nd beas were plain knit sweaters. Somewhere in my dream was smthing bout a violin i think.... Oh in the beginning, i was thinking bout how bea was sitting rly close to him nd how she looked like his gf. Nd how weird it was tht we didnt even kno him but had dinner w him. Also when chingu sat next to me, i think i slept on his shoulder or smthing."

When I woke up after going to the DC, I was going to do homework, but didn't want to do art homework. So I typed up my Bio notes, after I drew my Flufferbuns. So I started on my homework really late. When I was about to shower, Becca knocked on my door asking for her rubber band. How awkward was it for me to put a towel over myself & open the door a crack to hand her her rubber band? >///< I spent a lot of time writing the notes for Mina, too. I watched Spirit again too while working out. Jo was figuring out her outfit for black and white formal. After working out and since Bea & LeAnn were outside, I danced old songs and sweated myself out in a sweater and sweats. Wow, haven't sweated in forever. Then of course, worked on my homework 'til 5am bc I had Blue Sky Studio presentation to go to today.


2/18-- "I was going to blue sky studio presentation nd there were ppl standing at places leading to the room. It was so awk bc they say hi nd ask me 'blue sky studio?' Nd i nod nd they tell me to go this way nd that. The first dude was shawn (awk moment-read in blog) so i was awk. Then it was 3 girls so i just said hi nd nod. When i was about to enter the room this cute 師兄 came out xD"
Blue Sky came all the way from Connecticut. Mike is so Asian and funny! haha he's kinda quiet but chill and he has such a cute laugh~ after presentation, I went with Elaine to go get ice cream since it's SHM's b-day~ and we got a free pin. I was late to class, and Inga was showing a book after her demo. So I came in & put my stuff down and joined them. Angela and Morgan were snickering at me lol and I asked Angle what'd I miss. She said I smelled like ice cream! haha I only took one bite. Then we went back to our seats and I quickly finished my ice cream and we worked on the grid 'til the end of class.
"Dugun dugun when my adorable TA passed back my cube nd said good job~"
"Hes so freakin nice ugh. LOL i opened the door nd would hav hit him if i swung my drawing board lol cuz he was kneeling down in front of his locker. My friend was like tht is so dangerous 😂"

He critiqued my cylinder, and he was just so nice~ he told me the corrections I needed and then said it looked pretty good~ I need that support haha 
I was going to use the restroom and I saw Wing. A lil' later I was going down to the DC and I bumped into him and an RA coming out of the elevator. He looked so innocent, like he was guilty-of-something look; he still gave me a hi and smile (a smile you'd give when you're tryna tell people you're fine but you're not kind) I think he got locked out.

Spent the morning doing homework. Later in the afternoon, Wing came in to ask for a fork, so Bea gave him one. I thought he left; I was going to throw something away and he was standing behind me. We kinda just looked at each other, and he "faked" to stab me with that plastic fork of his LOL
He was in John's room when I passed by & me in my PJs, he asked if I didn't have any classes today. I told him at 3. Jim also sent me my cover to "approve" but there were some places off haha

In ANI 14, I didn't manage to finish my cube gouache but at least the flat tones were done. Ulysses (I forgot what nickname he said we could call him by) did his first demo! He was so adorable xD So he was teaching, and then at one point he asked Inga if it was okay to rotate his drawing. She cringed at it, but she said she doesn't know what we do at home, so she can't stop that and then he said "okay, let's pretend Inga's not hereeee" and with an innocent smile, he turns his drawing. And then every time he needed to turn it, he gave the expression like he was doing something bad... innocently LOL. and he'd say quietly, "Inga's not here..." and we'd all laugh LOL
During his demo, he had to raise his drawing board and turn it so we could all see. One time he accidentally hit someone. He kept apologizing xD and we all kinda laughed with him. Omgeee such a cute dork~
I cleaned up late, so I rushed to dorms and back to class. I didn't get to get sushi~ ToT but I wasn't as hungry as last Tues. The last class went over time, so we waited outside. When we could go in, I held the door open for people. People went in but nobody said thanks, until Ulysses and Ashlyn came up. He looked at me and was slightly shocked? and then he said thanks with a smile, and so did Ashlyn ^^ both my favorite TAs~ haha and then this dude was going to let me in first, but I gestured that he could go first. He didn't seem quite happy about that o.o uhm. okay. lol
I sat in the same row as my TAs, with 2 other people b/t us though. I wasn't as nervous as my "first" day of class. Later, out of the corner of my eye, I saw quick motions. It was Ulysses, who was glancing up and down, drawing. I think he was drawing the girl next to me (well, I did wonder if he was drawing me LOL I tried to take a glance at his drawing but it was hard. It didn't look like me though) Sat in there for 2 hours. The chairs are uncomfortable after so long; my legs and butt was really numb. And it was cold; I kept getting goosebumps. After stretch break, he did attendance. When he said my name, he said something to me, but it was all mumbles to me. I just gave him a blank look. I assumed he said he got my e-mail?

After eating a bit at the DC, worked out in the room LOL just some core--some crunches, some planks. A few push-ups. Some obliques, leg lifts. I don't even know lol Originally was going to watch some stuff but it was laggy. Soon after, I lost motivation LOL
Gonna catch up on some Bio right now... or not. I might just sleep lol goodnights! Bea is live streaming Gaon Awards, and commentating on everything LOL So I guess I'ma sleep... feel like I'ma be late tomorrow lol
Bea fish-tail braided my hair last night, so it was pretty wavy when I took it off. Then she curled it; it looked like a tornado xD

So following up with Jen picking me up from SJ, we went to the Great Mall and Mom & Jen went shopping. They looked at clothes and got some dresses at Papaya; that's like $100+! It was a long walk to Ouchii. Me and Jo walked off to find Ouchii while they shopped at Papaya. It was like 30min before we got to Ouchii. The dude who was working there greeted us and gave us Ranako stickers. I got one last time keke. The first time he asked if we needed any help, we said we were just looking. We were waiting for Mom & Jen, but we soon realized... they were gonna take a long time shopping. We loitered some more, then he asked us if we were looking for something specific and we were like, no we're just looking and waiting for my mom/sister. He said okay, and after a while we walked off behind the store, and then just walked away xD
We found a shortcut to Papaya through Uniqlo. That took us 5min! After buying at Papaya, we walked back to Ouchi. We were still whining and pleading mom to let me buy the Anoki snapback but she said $30 hat is not worth it. The worker was watching us whine to mom and he was smile-laughing at us xD Jen decided to buy a shirt, we got 2 since there was a discount. We went up to checkout; he asked me if we wanted the snapback, and I said yes, the Anoki one. But I guess he didn't hear me? bc he just checked out Jen's 2 shirts. So we told him again & he was like, oh I didn't know you wanted it. And we also got Jobee the lanyard I wanted but tis okay. Mom still disapproved LOL but oh wells, but dang we spent so much.

We were in traffic for like 3 hours? And finally got home, but there was nothing to drink! So I ate jubes lol. Saturday we went to pick up Jamie, and also helped Jen move in. After picking up Jim, we went to Ikea to buy Jen's bed. After SF, we went back to Berk to get Jim's stuff and pick up Synequeen too.After dropping her off, we went to Winco to buy drinks and pizza for dinnaaaa.

Then Sunday me and Jo went to T4, Target, and the mall with Jessie, Jessica, Steph, and Kathy. It was an interesting walk through Target LOL. Afterward, me & Jo hurried home for family dinner before I had to go back to SJ, which I got home at 11:30?
Well, we had dinner at China Palace. I kinda ate a lot? and there was this dude that I don't recognize but Jim said he worked there before? but I guess we were caught up with the other workers LOL. but he was kinda cute? We had eye contact when we walked in, and then again when I just took a 2nd glance when I was about to sit. Anyway, I sat next to the table where busboys get napkins, boxes and water with my back towards it. I had to scoot my chair in so they can get to the table. He was behind me--according to Jim-- 80% of the time LOL. There was this one time he walked by our table back and forth and then back. He came to take some plates, and he came in b/t me and Jim a lot. Grandma asked him for boxes, but Grandpa claimed the busboys didn't know Chinese LOL he didn't really look Chinese I guess? but he did. and he brought us one box for like 4 dishes and we kinda laughed at him, bc he asked is this enough in Chinese, then glanced at our table. Auntie laughed and said of course not, give me another box. So he went to get another. He took the empty plates. One was a pot and he took it slowly. I was afraid it'd slip off balance bahaha but he got it. Afterward, we had oranges. There was one orange left on the plate; he came by to take it. When he was about to take it, he noticed the orange and said, oh sorry. LOL me & Jim laughed xD
And then he came back to clear the dishes. He was b/t us again and he took some plates, then he reached to the other side of me and in my head I'm like whyyy  LOL

Well Jim drove me back to SJ. Dad went up with me; Ashley was checking IDs. I saw Andres who just got back I guess, and he saw me? When Dad was about to sign in, Ashley was like he didn't need to check in bc he'll be quick. Andres was holding the elevator for me; d'awww lol. And when we got up, he held the door opened for us and Josh was sitting in the common room, and I had to say thanks to Andres then hey to Josh LOL.
It took a while to unpack, but afterward, I rewrote my whiteboard. and wow, there was a lot happening this week. I was printing out homework for ANI55 but the printer is out of yellow ink, so it's only pink/red & blues coming out > >
Anyway, it's late now & I has lots of homework due tomorrow, goodnight! The stupid cylinder took me about 2 hours to do, since I had to cut it out twice and do the little triangles too...

--Ah! I just remembered, after lab today I went down to DC & met up with Biri & Bea. I was eating a sandwich and when I looked up, I had eye contact with Luis who greeted me with a what-up nod. I was kinda shocked bc I mean, I looked weird--about to take a bite from my sandwich!--so I had a late reaction; I think I took the bite and waved with my other hand. He was about to look away, but he still saw my wave, and gave me a nod. Aiya!! >///< LOL--

I think I broke my habit of needing to update everyday, but I still write pretty long posts.
Well yesterday I stayed up late watching The Bad Seed for class, so I woke up late for class, but class ended up being cancelled! It was my lucky unlucky day.
This week I've been watching so much Pokémon. D'awww I really miss my game. Gah, I wanna do some fanart but I'm so lazy!
Next week Saturday I'm taking my WST omg I hate when they ask for official IDs bc like, who would want to take my test for me? Gahh -.-''
I also got my schedule fixed so I don't have to worry about the 12 units anymore~

(here's the story about David Steph xD)
So the class I was trying to add was ANI1, which was a Tuesday night class. It was a lecture hall, so I sat in the 3rd to last row, in the seat on the edge. People started coming in. Kendall and David were in the class, along with some other 2nd years I've seen around and a few 1st years. David sat right behind me, and I said "hey" of course, but I was so nervous bc while it was everyone's 2nd day of class, it was my 1st. Kendall and the rest sat in his row, but Jonathan (their friend that always comes into ANI12 last semester) asked him why he sat at the end and for him to sit closer. His reply was bc he wanted to sit at the edge seat. Being the Libra that I am, you can imagine what thoughts ran into my head LOL I mean, I still remember that text from this xD -sigh- I think too much... It was awkward when we were leaving bc I did't say bye to him, but I really just wanted to leaveeee

Oh yeah, I think Wed was the day I went out by myself and almost got lost LOL well, the bus I was going to take back to SJSU was actually going the opposite direction, so I ended up in far south SJ with only 20% battery life. Almost panicked, so it took me another hour to get to SJSU.

--
Well since I'm too lazy to summarize the week, here are some copy & pasted messages from Kakao xD

"Dude i was in the common rm nd michael (filipino/jap) was leaving nd i said "sup michael" loud LOL nd he said sup but i was laughing nd he was like wats so funny nd i was like nothing nothing. Bc i was thinking to how he doesnt say hiiii" - 02/09

"so i was the only girl in the elevator. how awk. when i got in the elevator somebody had clicked the 3rd floor > > so the elevator went down & this group of chinese dudes came in all talking. yes I'm listening LOL. but they might think that i clicked it. then another group of dudes came in, including the dude that i was tryna tell u guys about when y'all dropped me off (bea thinks he has a nice jawline). and one of the chinese dudes was saying sup to them and shook the 1st dude's hand, tried to shake the 2nd dude's hand but he turned around. awk for him. jawline saw him in that awk situation & extended his hand to shake his. the 2nd dude saw and shook his hand afterward. jawline so nice! haha when the elevator stopped on the 3rd floor, they were looking around for someone who was going to leave, but nobody moved LOL. leaving the elevator, the guys walked out, and the last chinese dude said to me "you first" & i said thanks. xD but i couldn't go anywhere bc there was trafficccc. so awk LOL. jawline looks like a korean actor….? oh and remember that chinese dude w/ the tat i keep seeing? well i c him again. nd he has a pretty heavy accent speaking in eng. i couldn't understand xD" - 02/11

--
So that just reminded me that there was this other dude the day before who was also like "after you" when we were leaving the elevator. How nice~ xD and then there's this asian guy that lives in Joe West, who I saw a few times last semester, who I saw consecutively this week from the elevator, dc, to the gym. Like seriously LOL

Waiting for Jen to pick me up now so I can go to Ouchii at the Great Mall & get my snapback~ and to go home to eat tong yoon~ ^^ Don't wanna do hw bc that means I have to be inside the room w/ the lamp. Naww, don't wanna be in the room.

We are miles apart, but you guys will always be the closest to my heart 사탕해 POL☆RIS~ #110211

That was what I tweeted. Because it's our 5th anniversary! And of course, we're physically miles apart from each other, some of us at least haha. I always find it funny, what are we celebrating? It seems like we're celebrating our friendship, but our friendship was even way before that. We celebrated our "debut" of K-pop covering since CSSS in 8th grade and managed to continue with comebacks in all 4 years of SECA.
Almost... we almost didn't want to do it the last year.
Those years were worth celebrating. We've been on almost a year of hiatus. When are we coming back? It'll be hard to bc it's difficult to get together. Being together almost all the time made it easier to learn the dances together and block it together. But now, we're not together and sometimes, we're too busy to learn dances.
Our challenge now, is to learn the dances ourselves. Block it in a day or 2. And film it. Well, how is that going to go.

Anyways, happy 5th anniversary, celebrating our debut and our friendship. 

Hey y'alls! Happy Chinese New Year! It's the year of the monkey~

I didn't go home this weekend even though that was the plan. So on Friday, I went to SHM's 14F, after me, Bea, & Biri grabbed Thirst Tea. We watched Shaolin Soccer xD I wanna learn martial arts... LOL. I finally bought a beanie; I kinda almost bought every apparel? lol And there was no line; very few people came to 14F. I always go just to support. But yeah, I went to buy a beanie & Shawn/Sean/Shaun (I don't know how you spell his name ahaha) asked me for my name, saying he doesn't think he's seen me around. So I shook hands with him. And I had to also greet Sydney bc she was standing next to him. I almost forgot my change! LOL. At the end of the film was the raffle. I didn't expect to win something, but I won this square-ish Teen Titans Go backpack from San Diego Comic Con. This guy 3D printed Luxo Jr. & his ball. I wanted that! ahaha.

Saturday we went to the Great Mall. I wanted to go bc I knew Ouchii was gonna open their store there. The owner was really nice! I got my picture taken tooo x'D I spent $50+ on 2 t-shirts & a beanie. I didn't realize 'til after that girl t-shirts were more expensive than guy t-shirts; I got guy t-shirts bc I liked them more LOL. They didn't have the snapbacks in stock, but he told me they'll be in stock this week! I want everything Anoki! I'm getting an Anoki snapback, & Anoki backpack, hopefully. I also wanted a decal but naw... and a lanyard and a collector wood keychain. I also wanted a pair of clear glasses, but they're out of stock....(?) Their items are "unique" so once they cut the item, it might not come back again ToT
Jen also bought me a white sheep and white alpaca. I think I'm ending my sheep collection soon. Last one is probably getting one from that cute store in Irvine lol

Today, I did laundry but it took me like almost 2-3 hours to finish? bc I had to wait another hr for the broken dryer to finish. I wasn't sure if I could just open it, but I didn't want to risk it. After an hr, I went back down to switch dryers. After laundry was done, I went to 99c & Dollar Tree by myself to get some floss and envelopes. It was so warm today so I was sweating when I walked back from the bus station. I walked quite a lot.
I also tried Dazzling White's teeth whitening gel I got from Daiso (it turns out 99c & Dollar Tree had it too). I also found this other whitening gel with a plastic teeth mold. I'll see how Dazzling White turns out. If it's good enough, I'll just stick with that one.

Welp, time to do homework and eat.
[I tried to change the color, but the light brown text won't change to dark...]

I wonder if it's a good day today too...
Well, Bea's alarm was ringing for a very long time; why does it ring for 15min? My alarm turns off after a minute > >
Then I went to class. Omgeee so my whiteboard said Rm250, but it was actually 415 -facepalm- So I sat in that class, and no wonder the teacher already started and was already halfway through the syllabus. The syllabus said Chem1. I was like what the heck? So I checked my schedule and it was wrong room. It was so awkward when I walked out after barely sitting down for like 2min. I still made it in time for my actual class! Then I went for lab.
The class seemed fairly fun, though I don't know why I always happen to choose the class with oral presentationsssss. Still, the class seems like my ENVS class, a little like my Geog. class but that's okay. When we did introductions, I thought I was the only 1st year, but there was one other 1st year. Phew.

After eating, I went to check my mail but I couldn't open my mailbox. I texted Bea for help lol but Wing happened to walk by. He saw me & asked if I had stamps, which I did. He said he'll buy them off of me x'D Then he asked if he just give the mail to the mailroom, but they don't send out mail, so I told him to drop it off in the blue mailboxes. He was like okay, and seemed to be edging away, but I said I can't open it or Can you open it, pointing to my mailbox. He said he's never opened his. But he one-try opened mine like magic! Yays for hyung xD
We took the elevator back together. When we got into my room, it was so warm. Too warm.
So he took the "stickers" (he called them sticker-things at first ahaha) and left~ and I got my earphones~ wheeee

I went to the Student Union with Bea and when we were leaving, this dude said nice shirt as we passed by. Since Bea was closer to him, I thought he was saying it to her, but she didn't respond. Then I remembered what shirt I was wearing (Pokémon) & quickly said thanks xD He was wearing a beanie with a Pokéball xD

Well anyway, I haven't figured out my schedule... and I probably messed up big time. So now I have to go talk to John tomorrow... it's gonna be awkward 'cause he failed me in ANI12... ahaha..haha.. ha.

My Friday class was really fun! Although it was pretty dreadful getting up in the morning lol It was a 6 hour class, and we didn't do much, other than like 20min. of gesture drawing? and then Sheldon, our teacher, just kept talking and talking. And showed us his sketchbooks, and did a few demos for us. He also related music to art, saying art is music. Like, wow. Okay.
He also told us a few things about himself. He's totally cool, alright? Like he jokes a lot, cusses a lot. Pfft.

He owns an art store; sponsored by an art company; solves homicide cases bc he's a blood splatter expert? LOL His TA, or other teacher, is Ally, whom he's known since she's 14, and she's been teaching since 14 or 15y/o. She's pretty chill. He talked a lot about passion/motivation/love of drawing. He cover our grades for us ;) so grades don't really matter in the class.

Well, I don't want to ramble since I have to go to sleep. I'ma go to Jim's tomorrow. Alone. :o Will I make it? bahaha.
I still have to figure out my classes omgeeee. Gonna need to find a filler class...

Today was the first day back at school, and well, it's a mess. The first class I went to, I can't take it anymore since I didn't take prerequisites, so now I have to look for another class.
ANI14 was pretty fun~ our TA looks nerdy bc he wears glasses, but he seems pretty cool though.
Bought my ANI14 kit too, but if I'm taking ANI50, I have to buy a kit for that too gah. (Arlene was saying how she's glad she passed ANI12 'cause she was stressing in that class, and I'm like > <)

I showered early, and I was on my bed catching up on performances and trying to look up stuff on IMFACT, trying to find the original songs of Casino, Fakin', and Make Me Smile. Meimei found Fakin' for me; it was an English song. And Make Me Smile was by ZE:A's Dongjun for his web drama. He only sang a minute of that song while IMFACT sang the whole song :I
Still nothing on Casino, so I hope it's an original song? ToT even though it's not in their 'Lollipop' single.
Well yeah, I was searching up stuff, and then there was a fire alarm. Aigoo, so we walked the stairs down. I was snapchatting us walking & this dude who came out of the door from a different door was like "we're about to die and you're snapchatting? you got your priorities straight." He said it jokingly of course, but so weird xD

Gotta save pics, gotta download songs, gotta find that one song. So much to doooo.
Gotta worry about class... and more supplies.
Welp, I has a early Friday class, probably gonna sleep nows~

I was on the search for that missing song of mine... through K-ballad/indie search on Youtube. But no luck. It just led me to finding other groups that I wouldn't listen to, but their songs happened to be good. The closest was Jung Jun Il's Hug Me but I think it's bc V & J-hope sang it, so it just sounded familiar but I'm not sure. Aiya. Anyway, I still gotta try that black hard drive & my Sony Xperia (in SJ)... 

Then I watched dance covers on YT & came across Dazzling. Looking through their channel, I found their "show." The editing was on point though! Makes me want to make our own to haha but no ideas, like what would we film? And anyway, we too shy to even talk to the camera & we have no fans ahaha. I still want to use After Effects to create our logo effect, something simple... but school is starting soon. I'll be heading back to SJ in 2 days. Played lots of Blade & Soul, but I can't keep waking up late!
Ugh, I don't wanna deal with school yet... I still have to deal with the cat ears omg.

U10T all the way! Aiyo, I wasted so much time looking for fantaken pics. I can't save for ASTRO or IMFACT or else I'm dead; my U10T phase has not passed yet... must resist. But my ASTRO cutiesss ;n; And yeah, I couldn't help fangirling for IMFACT when I watched their teasers on V app. ASTRO debut in February! "Puss in Boots" better be in their album~

(Oh yeah, I was sore after "Catch Me" for a good two days, my shoulders especially.)

Today I woke up around 11. Didn't know what to do or actually, I didn't really want to do any chores. So I laid in bed watching 30th Golden Disk Awards on V app. Monsta X~ <3 Minhyuk wasn't there :( I'm not sure who else is supposed to be on there, but not a lot of performances... yet. Is it over? Then mom told me to shower the dogs since it was a sunny day. So I showered them by myself. It wasn't very thorough because it's so hard to keep their fur wet & get the shampoo. Why their fur dry so fast~ and they either keep shaking before I let them. Did I miss some spots? bleh. They'll need a thorough-er shower next time. After combing them, I washed my shoes. Finally. Now they're nice & white & ready for school~

Aigoo. School is next week~ > <

[oh, it's only Day 1 of 30th GDA xD aiyah! I think I'll save for Monsta X & ASTRO :'( ]

Look at my laziness over the break. Aiya. Still watching a bunch of Taiwanese dramas; still haven't finished Fall in Love with Me. Finished Inborn Pair though.

Gahh, it's been awhile--that I haven't danced intensely. And here, I give it my all for U10T's "Catch Me". Aigoo, the dance kept me on the balls of my feet. Aish, I think I even got a few blisters (or about-to-be-blister sore spots); I didn't want to walk anymoreeee.
I was dancing in a sweater & sweats; I sweated sooo much, it was like it rained on me. Seriously.
I did learn their dance in a day; memorizing it is a different story. I wonder if I'll be sore tomorrow... doubt it? The heat got to me though. I thought I was going to get sick.

I'm still looking for that one song... I swear it was during freshman year. Back then, I had songs on an SD card, so I hope I didn't completely delete the song... Still have one more hard drive to check, but I have a feeling it's not in there since the white Seagate should have the oldest songs downloaded...
I remember that I had a thought, that since the music only I listen to are already in my phone, I'd delete the file from the computer, but I don't remember was it during then or not... It's so annoying because I can't find it. It was a long title all in Hangul. I only remember in the YT video, the image was of a tan letter, which I think could be the album cover... I'm not sure how old or new it is, even though I feel like it should be 2012? I remember I Google translated it into English just to know what it meant, but I forgot already; vague memory of it meaning something with afternoon and eomma. It's by someone (or group or collab) that I would usually not listen to...

I came across Kiss & X-Japan while I was searching through a YT channel (ClassicKpop427). Kiss's "Because I'm a Girl" piano version started playing. I always think Kiss is a Japanese group... X-Japan is an actual Japanese group right? lol Anyway, although there are a lot of old songs, there was no luck finding my song ToT
On a side note, I have only one more week left before school .-.

Happy New Year everyone! It's 2016! One year closer to our possible graduation date!! ....
Well. Nothing seems to be any different as another chapter of our life has ended, and a new one begins.
Yeah... nothing's different... haha

Today, I binge-saved BTS photos; I can't help it! I don't even know why I'm saving photos again, but I told myself after BTS, no more. don't even get me started on VIXX Dx
And also watched KBS & MBC end-of-year shows.

But I was bothered by my slight OCD(?) on music and dancing. Er, it's hard to explain, but when I dl-ed all the music albums, we transferred the files into a black hard drive. We kinda "lost it" but found one, however, the wire is faulty & we can't check if it's our hard drive, with all our stuff.
So the problem is, when I get caught up with a group or something, for example, Boys Republic or HALO, I have an urge to get all their released singles/albums, even though I vaguely remember I already have them. But I needed to get it to satisfy me. Even if I don't listen to the album.
Then the deal with the dance practices. Sometime it's hard to find every released practice video, so when I'm on Amy D's or mirrorHD's channel & they mirrored some rookie's or underrated group's practice videos, it leads me to fancam/album searching. It does get tiring but I can't help it...?
Sometimes, suggested videos or related videos lead me on even farther searches & down memory lane, like it did today to finding Twi-light, New-Us, & Demion.

Underrated groups are easily forgotten when they don't have any recent comebacks or news. Sometimes not even knowing the groups disbanded because they're not popular enough to be on the news. So when I see the practice videos, I kinda miss them...
And so, when I realized there are so many rookie/underrated groups that I've forgotten, it gets me wondering what other groups have gotten hidden under all the more popular and larger groups.

Ogawd, don't even get me started on New-Us. Member changes? ToT Plus, it's like impossible to find their singles Right Now & Love Panic and the songs are really good tooooo! I can only scavenge for their title tracks, & I'll have to deal with that...

Ah, it's late right now. I just had a long, weird talk with Victor. I've had 2 weird talks about love and relationships with 2 Hmong guys, what the heck xD
Anyway, I don't know how I'll phrase my '2016 New Year's Resolutions' but we'll see. Goodnight!

I haven't opened my own laptop in a while & just caught up on Bunnie's & Sharkie's blogs.

A comment. It's always been running through my mind every time I read their posts. I realize just how much I don't know about my friends. No matter how close, there are some things that cannot be talked about.
Their struggles. Their thoughts.
Sometimes it makes me want to cry because I can't do anything that can possibly help them. Mina's posts are always really philosophical. Deep in thought. So deep... that it gets me wondering too.
Wondering if I ever have such problems, thinking about such things, but that it never bothered me enough to be, well, in my mind all the time. The same goes for Meimei... them two are actually quite similar haha.
Mina's writing has always been awesome. Her recent post "Christmas morning" was written so much like the beginning of a chapter in a book. A monologue.

I started blogging because I wanted to keep some sort of "online diary." I'll have you know, when I started blogging about 9 years ago, I already kept a physical diary too. I don't keep one anymore really... not a personal one at least.
My writing and even thoughts have really changed (of course, the earliest posts were short & simple, that of a ~10 year old). Some time during high school, I believe, I changed how I posted things. I even stopped using my other blog links & focused everything in one link instead.
Oops, I ranted too much about my blogs.

For me, I think blogging is a great way to write things down, to let things out, and to get things off your mind. Yeah, you can definitely do this in a diary too, but this "diary" of mine, I am sharing out, whether you care about it or want to read about it, or not, it's your choice. Originally, this "online diary" was never meant to be shared, but then I felt like there were some things I wrote that I wanted to share... so yeah. I write in a way that's kind of like a story, written as if it's a conversation, but I refrain from censoring anything just because I'm conscious of my readers. I try to keep it as original as possible, with no influence--if you know what I mean.
Also comparing the blogs, I realize that our personality, our tastes, are very different from each other's and shows quite a lot in how we layout our blog and edit our posts.

Ahh, back to my commenting/thoughts from their blogs. Reading so many of Mina's posts, it always makes me evaluate myself & how I approach things. Yes, I do mark myself as a pretty optimistic person. No matter how dire the situation, ahem academic work, I always believe I can do it. If I can't, well then, I can't; but I didn't give up on it. I did as much as I could & let the consequences happen.
Because it's not the end of the world. 
And yes, I do have moments when I break down. And when I break down, well, I don't know actually. Depending on the situation, different thoughts run through my head. But I can't turn back time, and well, I just have to deal with it. Sometimes, I go through the days, weeks, and even months being "strong." But there's always that moment when the stress/pressure is too much & I become weak. But after that, that's when you pick yourself up again, and life goes on.

Sometimes I wonder, "Is a pep talk enough? Is motivation or inspiration enough?"
It most definitely is not enough to help solve any problems one might be facing, but I think it's enough to get one thinking about what they can possibly do in their life choices. I at least hope it's motivation enough. It's a pep talk to myself too. Like Meimei said, we can't be lumps on a log forever; whether it be a good or bad choice, a choice must be made either way.
Just know that family and friends are always by your side (or only a text/message away, in our case).

~Live life happily. Enjoy the present~
with love.

... on my winter break.

When was my last update? Wow I've been super busy (or lazy, but mostly busy) & haven't had time to blog about the week, so I of course can't remember weeks of events, though there are a lot worth remembering; but meh.

Anyway, it's finals week! Well, I had my first final last Tues (12/8) -- what's worth remembering is Dr. Jay is awesome~ he's more than just our professor :') It's his first time teaching at SJSU & we were his first class, bc we started school on Thur & we're his morning class -- anyway, that final was easy, though I did an all-nighter, doing what I don't know. It was like 6am or so when I finished the study guide for ENVS, so I didn't want to risk not being able to wake up so I dilly-dallied 'til class time. It's crazy. Who even takes a final without sleep? X'D (This cute innocent graphic design major talked to me a bit, not really talking but yeah. He's so innocenttttt~ *squeee* & shy)

I haven't had a lot of sleep due to all these stuff happening. After the last classes on Tues though, the following days I had awesome sleep--sleeping early & waking up early. It's really refreshing & I'm always like super happy when I wake up bahaha. But since LeAnn & Bea are still sleeping, I have to take my homework out into the common room, so I'm usually there all day. And I end up being the "common room greeter" xD
One time banjjak banjjak's roommate went in & out the lobby like 3 times. And then he was leaving w/ banjjak banjjak & I greeted him for the 4th time & he was like "you're out here all morning" & I just gave him a laugh. Then banjjak banjjak appeared from behind the wall & we greeted each other (I think). I was literally up early the rest of the week, 'til Sunday, in which I did an all-nighter to finish ANI12 & ANI24 projects. I finished both of them, but didn't really like the outcome of either... oh wells.
Another time banjjak banjjak was leaving w/ him again, & I had said hey to his roommate, & then banjjak banjjak sees me and says "what's goooood?" & I just very quietly said hey bc I have no idea how to answer that LOL
Then another time, I was working & when someone came in from the elevator, I didn't look up 'til a few sec later. I thought the person had already left, but I look up, & it was banjjak banjjak. He had dropped something right before passing the wall. He picked it up, saw me, & we had to greet each other xDD
Okay, I'ma stop with banjjak banjjak xD

Wing came back Saturday night, which is early for him. Later that night, I was going to sleep early, but Bea was using my laptop to submit her essay but she was having troubles with the scans at one point. I think I may have already fallen asleep, but I got up? I don't know if she called me or what... I was pretty drowsy. So I went down to help her. She was panicking, & I was tryna calm her down while I figured it out, when he came in & BOO-ed us really loud. Bea got kinda scared. Then he was like "Didja miss me?" & without thinking, kinda, I said "yes, yes I did" the same time Bea said "NO" w/ that "attitude" of hers xDD & then she said just kidding & asked him if he was leaving next semester...? His answer didn't fit...? bc he said he wasn't or something? Maybe he's staying next semester~ but yah, hyung is weird :p

Oh yah, yesterday I had quite an interesting short convo w/ Michael. xD So I saw him w/ a jacket walk toward our side of the floor & he never came back, so I assumed he took the stairs down. Later he came back in from the elevator. I did a double take, kind of, & asked him didn't he just go there (points to the stairs). And he laughed & said yeah. I actually thought that was the end of the convo, but he felt the need to tell me that it was easier to go down the stairs instead. We just laughed & then we were like see ya. He didn't have his jacket when he came back up, just saying LOL
So today, me & Bea were in the common room after eating after our finals. He was carrying a bag on his back. Without thinking I asked him where he was going (as soon as I asked, I knew it was a stupid question. I don't even know why I wanted to strike up a convo w/ him...? lol) He was like "to my room..." And then I said something that didn't make any sense x'D And he was like "oh, yeah I came from there (points to stairs)" He had that smile that said he was referencing to yesterday's convo. Thank goodness Bea followed up w/ the question about his bag, which he said was his laundry. Bea told him he looked like he went camping. We had a good laugh, & then I said see ya. At first Michael had a very stoic expression, so he seemed scary to talk to, but he's actually really nice~ ^^

So today's finals were okay. I felt guilty in ANI12 though bc everyone was so proud of their notebooks & I had a hella shitty one (it's not even complete). Oh, & Andy also has AxentWear~ the red one, & it seems like it works fine for him > >
TAs Yuki & Colton got us doughnuts for ANI24 final~ <3 <3
After both ANI class/finals, I can finally relax~ last final on Wed. bleh. Geography. Gotta study lots... then I get to go home!!! :'D

I'm a Jeffreak! <3 JeffreyFever~ his videos are a great destresser ;D

Well, we finished Mulan. And I was doing hw. We talked a bit w/ Cameron, Caleb's brother. LeAnn though, still as exaggerated in her gestures aiyah.

Then I went down to DC to get a sandwich & coffee. My coffee tasted like warm milk w/ a hint of caramel -.- I was ranting to Bea (mainly) about Mina's problems. Dayum, her roommates are so freakin' annoying, I wanna smack them. After my long rant, I took my stuff & went outside. The hallway smelled like smoke. I was going back into the room to get something, & I heard spraying. Whoever it was sprayed some out the door, & I was like woah, stop! bc I was going into the room. Then Wing popped his head out, and did small spritzs of Febreeze. He kept wanting to spray so I told him to spray the hallway. He goes out & you hear this continuous spray as he came back. He sprayed too much x_X
So I went out, & I think I got a slight headache. Anyway, I was on my laptop (starting on hw or scrolling through FB) & Luis came back from RA on Duty. My cpu was on Canvas. He was like JuSTIna. What are you still doing up? and I was like homeworkkk~ & he walked to the hallway opposite our side & then back to his room. Then I was on my FB/Twit and he was coming back & I switched back to Canvas(?). And he said goodnight to me--he was leaving again w/ his skateboard.

I BS-ed my replies for ENVS hw; late anyway :p
Then Michael came back. After going to his room, he came back w/ food xD I think I took one glance too many lol He turned on the TV & I was watching (& I was blogging this) & he asked me if I needed it turned off, but no I didn't lol. I couldn't sit out in the common room w/ just him so I asked Bea to come out lol. After he finished eating, he came back w/ candy & he asked us if we wanted any~
:p this dude doesn't even talk very much to us

Damn, I had that sandwich & coffee at 1am; so unhealthy in college. My body is dyinggggg. I can feel my belly very uncomfortable lately.

I actually woke up this morning~ Was going to skip class but couldn't...
I really needed coffee so even though it was already 9 & I was going to be late. But I had to grab something to eat since I can't have coffee on an empty stomach. CB swiped me in xD
When I got to class, some dude had taken my seat (the table right in front of the door), so I had to take a seat in the 2nd to last row. I paid attention only half-heartedly, rewriting notes from my phone. My eyes were dryingggg. Well it hurt.
After leaving class, I went straight to the dorms to take a nap. I was planning to wake up to do hw, but then decided not to. I packed up & went to class. On the way there, Flora called me from behind so I walked w/ her to class & we talked. Man, every time I talk to someone who seriously works hard on their assignments, I always feel so bad...
John was still kinda sick so he said we were only going to do lecture. So we did the lecture but I was almost going to sleep. We ended class really early, I mean, he gave us so much info. He said if we wanted critique on our ships, go ahead & bring it up to him; if not, dat's cool too. He looked through the rendering & yaaaas, finally passed my cylinder though I gotta touch up on my core shadow. He looked at my ellipse cubes & said not yet.
7. HOURS. NO PASS. that's devastating :'D well at least, I can finally do my sphere. Class was good though~ ^^

I grabbed a sandwich from the DC & came back to the dorms. I didn't even realize Bea was sleeping on her bed. I moved things outside to do hw but Toy Story 2 & Finding Nemo was playing; I was also busy trying to write my super long blog so I was too distracted to do hw -.-
I didn't do hw the whole day & my tummy hurt but I couldn't gooooo

So right now, a lot of us r out here watching Mulan.

Wow. Did an all-nighter today. Waiting for shower & is it hyung? I unno.
--it's not hyung xD it was Josh lolol he cleaned up after himself--

I've been so busy this weekend that I didn't do hw (& when I did have time, I didn't want to do it)
Stephanie came to visit again today~ we didn't know what to do haha so we went to Muji's to shop. Saw Kendall there xD awk... LOL Then we decided for a very long time what to do. Walked around a bit & decided to go to Thirst Tea & eat their honey toast omgeee it was so goood~
The cute guy there (not Jonny; the shorter one) was so nice~ So he greeted us when we came in & we were looking at the menu. We let other people order first since we were still choosing. When they were done ordering, we were standing close to the cash register. It might've looked like we were ready to order? bc he stood there waiting, and said hello or something. At that same moment a guy walked in so I turned to look, thinking that he was just saying hi to that guy. Then I looked at him & he was like hi or something & Steph responded. I don't know if I did bc I was just thinking about how awkward that was, 'cause he smiled & chuckled a bit; & in a way, it seemed like he knew I was wondering if he was saying hi to us.
Anyway, after we ordered the toast, he went to make it while the girl made Steph's drink. More people were coming in, but he was busy making toast while the girl was making drinks. Steph joked around & said "he dropped everything else for us" LOL omgeeee I wish xDD
Dude it was seriously yummmy~ <3
Afterward we walked around for a very long time & finally decided to eat at Ike's Love & Sandwiches. Saw Kaleo lol Then we took our sandwiches back to the dorm to eat. LeAnn came back. After we finished eating, we headed out again to Muji since Steph was leaving soon. We were at Muji's when Bea texted me. When we were walking back to dorm, Bea texted & I called her, asking if she wanted to eat or drink or anything. So we waited for her outside Thirst Tea; 'cause they said they were down to try a toast. But when Bea got there, they ended up not getting it :p
Then we went to Quickly for popcorn chicken. Steph's sister came by the time we got to the dorms (we got scared when we were walking under the sewers xD)

We got back into the dorms (using the stairs) & then Luis came in from the elevator & asked me if we were watching Forrest Gump (it's for his program to raise Disability Awareness & I nodded to him. We went inside to change. Someone knocked on our door. Assuming it was John, Bea said "changingggg" & LeAnn said "no one's hereeee" omg how embarrassing was it when I looked into the peephole & it was LUIS. We kinda panicked & then I opened the door for him. There was like a second of silence & then he said just wanted to let you guys know, the movie's gonna start soon. And I said okay thanks. Omg them 2 though >///< I needed to do hw but I agreed to Luis to watch the movie~ I was sitting on the couch waiting & we heard Luis knock on someone's door & say well hurry get ready & watch the movie. & us in the common room laughed bc Luis was getting people to come out to watch lol So we watched Forrest Gump & I was taking a snap; Luis waved in it xD In the movie, there was an empty seat next to a kid on the school bus but he blocked the seat and said to Forrest "you can't sit here" & Luis said don't do that And we all looked at him & laughed LOL then he said, what? I'm just tryna teach y'all something. You guys are supposed to learn something new xD We were about an hour or 2? into the movie, & the girl took off her bra, & Maria teased Luis and asked should we not do that either? and we all laughed lolol
After the movie I was going to do hw but didn't do hw until like 12. Josue came over & we were talking. We laughed bc he finally told Bea that he told DB she liked him & her name; it was hilarious. We were outside & were walking back to the room talking about Diego's junior best friend & Josue asked if I thought he was adorable; we had just passed by Josh, & Josue pointed a thumb back. I was talking to Josue. In the room, Bea said she turned around & saw Josh was behind us so he might've thought we were saying he was adorable. Omo.
Me & Bea went to do laundry. There was this dude who we've never seen before who was going down so we were waiting for the elevator together. When he came into the lobby he cheerily said hi. After we put our laundry to wash, we were coming back up the elevator & he was in there too. Omgee so awk. xD

I brought my stuff out to the room & went to the girls' restroom. Caleb was outside in the space near Ashley's room w/ his friends. Apparently his brother came to visit since they're off already? Anyway he was the guy we saw in the elevator twice. So I was coming back from the restroom and I just smiled to acknowledge them, but his brother slightly turned to wave to me so I waved back xD
He looks like Caleb & has his bright personality too haah. Anyway, I stayed up all night doing hw. We slept around 6.

Well long story short (since somebody's complaining about how long my posts were -3-)

This morning Jen & Jo had to keep calling me to wake me, though I woke up here & there, I went back to sleep. Finally got up around 10, but lounged in bed 'til 1030. Didn't know what I did on the laptop 'til 12... I rendered my cylinder some more afterward. Had hot tea latte to drink.
Around 4:15, I went w/ Joshua & Serena to a clarinet recital (for Josue). It was nice, but at some point I think I dozed...? I tried to stay awake. I met their friend Anthony too. It was kinda scary listening to Serena & Anthony talk about Schumann/practicing music/other musicians; & her & Joshua talking about practicing/which piece they liked best/piano brands. At the end of the recital, we went to the reception for some foooddd (it was really finger foods/snacks & this was my first meal. I had little idea what I was putting in my mouth... it was kinda good though :p)
After I got back to dorm, I had to head out again to go to this dance performance for Bea, w/ LeAnn. It was pretty awesome too. The 1st dance I didn't understand. And then one performance had no music, just a live singer + beat boxer (the beat boxer turned out to be the choreographer too). The last performance was really fun & cool~
We got back around 9? LeAnn got food at the DC while I ate half of my Panda Express leftover.

Wow, I really wasn't productive on my own stuff...
Anyway, short enough? haha Goodnights~ Steph is coming todayyyyy. What're we gonna doooo

Things happened haha but I don't know what's worth to remember... so many funny things though haha. Well, last night I slept around 5am fixing up my cube rendering and re-drawing my cylinder. Let's skip what I did last night lol

I accidentally took a nap yesterday afternoon when I didn't mean to. Oh yeah, my nap gave me a really weird dream! haha --which I will copy & paste from Kakao bc I'm too lazy to type it out again lol--
2/17 dream: "I just remembered my nap dream xD it was hyung nd his friend tht bea thinks is cute. We call him chingu. In summary, we were having dinner, w me sitting next to hyung nd bea sitting next to chingu. At the end chingu said he'll pay nd then bea had to write down smthing bout who was paying nd she didnt kno his name so she asked hyung.
Then it was just me sitting. Chingu came back and sat next to me. I think hyung was across? But idr seeing him. Then bea came back nd i was sitting so close to chingu nd asked if she wanted to squeeze in next to me. Scene skip. We were waiting somewhere. Bea sat somewhere else from me nd chingu was somewhere else. Then hyung came back and threw this bundle of clothes on me. It was blue nd pink reversible knit sweaters for me bea nd leann. We were surprised nd asked y nd he said he just wanted to give a gift. Nd we were like thanksss. Leanns was a cute blue sweater w jean parts while mine nd beas were plain knit sweaters. Somewhere in my dream was smthing bout a violin i think.... Oh in the beginning, i was thinking bout how bea was sitting rly close to him nd how she looked like his gf. Nd how weird it was tht we didnt even kno him but had dinner w him. Also when chingu sat next to me, i think i slept on his shoulder or smthing."

When I woke up after going to the DC, I was going to do homework, but didn't want to do art homework. So I typed up my Bio notes, after I drew my Flufferbuns. So I started on my homework really late. When I was about to shower, Becca knocked on my door asking for her rubber band. How awkward was it for me to put a towel over myself & open the door a crack to hand her her rubber band? >///< I spent a lot of time writing the notes for Mina, too. I watched Spirit again too while working out. Jo was figuring out her outfit for black and white formal. After working out and since Bea & LeAnn were outside, I danced old songs and sweated myself out in a sweater and sweats. Wow, haven't sweated in forever. Then of course, worked on my homework 'til 5am bc I had Blue Sky Studio presentation to go to today.


2/18-- "I was going to blue sky studio presentation nd there were ppl standing at places leading to the room. It was so awk bc they say hi nd ask me 'blue sky studio?' Nd i nod nd they tell me to go this way nd that. The first dude was shawn (awk moment-read in blog) so i was awk. Then it was 3 girls so i just said hi nd nod. When i was about to enter the room this cute 師兄 came out xD"
Blue Sky came all the way from Connecticut. Mike is so Asian and funny! haha he's kinda quiet but chill and he has such a cute laugh~ after presentation, I went with Elaine to go get ice cream since it's SHM's b-day~ and we got a free pin. I was late to class, and Inga was showing a book after her demo. So I came in & put my stuff down and joined them. Angela and Morgan were snickering at me lol and I asked Angle what'd I miss. She said I smelled like ice cream! haha I only took one bite. Then we went back to our seats and I quickly finished my ice cream and we worked on the grid 'til the end of class.
"Dugun dugun when my adorable TA passed back my cube nd said good job~"
"Hes so freakin nice ugh. LOL i opened the door nd would hav hit him if i swung my drawing board lol cuz he was kneeling down in front of his locker. My friend was like tht is so dangerous 😂"

He critiqued my cylinder, and he was just so nice~ he told me the corrections I needed and then said it looked pretty good~ I need that support haha 
I was going to use the restroom and I saw Wing. A lil' later I was going down to the DC and I bumped into him and an RA coming out of the elevator. He looked so innocent, like he was guilty-of-something look; he still gave me a hi and smile (a smile you'd give when you're tryna tell people you're fine but you're not kind) I think he got locked out.

Spent the morning doing homework. Later in the afternoon, Wing came in to ask for a fork, so Bea gave him one. I thought he left; I was going to throw something away and he was standing behind me. We kinda just looked at each other, and he "faked" to stab me with that plastic fork of his LOL
He was in John's room when I passed by & me in my PJs, he asked if I didn't have any classes today. I told him at 3. Jim also sent me my cover to "approve" but there were some places off haha

In ANI 14, I didn't manage to finish my cube gouache but at least the flat tones were done. Ulysses (I forgot what nickname he said we could call him by) did his first demo! He was so adorable xD So he was teaching, and then at one point he asked Inga if it was okay to rotate his drawing. She cringed at it, but she said she doesn't know what we do at home, so she can't stop that and then he said "okay, let's pretend Inga's not hereeee" and with an innocent smile, he turns his drawing. And then every time he needed to turn it, he gave the expression like he was doing something bad... innocently LOL. and he'd say quietly, "Inga's not here..." and we'd all laugh LOL
During his demo, he had to raise his drawing board and turn it so we could all see. One time he accidentally hit someone. He kept apologizing xD and we all kinda laughed with him. Omgeee such a cute dork~
I cleaned up late, so I rushed to dorms and back to class. I didn't get to get sushi~ ToT but I wasn't as hungry as last Tues. The last class went over time, so we waited outside. When we could go in, I held the door open for people. People went in but nobody said thanks, until Ulysses and Ashlyn came up. He looked at me and was slightly shocked? and then he said thanks with a smile, and so did Ashlyn ^^ both my favorite TAs~ haha and then this dude was going to let me in first, but I gestured that he could go first. He didn't seem quite happy about that o.o uhm. okay. lol
I sat in the same row as my TAs, with 2 other people b/t us though. I wasn't as nervous as my "first" day of class. Later, out of the corner of my eye, I saw quick motions. It was Ulysses, who was glancing up and down, drawing. I think he was drawing the girl next to me (well, I did wonder if he was drawing me LOL I tried to take a glance at his drawing but it was hard. It didn't look like me though) Sat in there for 2 hours. The chairs are uncomfortable after so long; my legs and butt was really numb. And it was cold; I kept getting goosebumps. After stretch break, he did attendance. When he said my name, he said something to me, but it was all mumbles to me. I just gave him a blank look. I assumed he said he got my e-mail?

After eating a bit at the DC, worked out in the room LOL just some core--some crunches, some planks. A few push-ups. Some obliques, leg lifts. I don't even know lol Originally was going to watch some stuff but it was laggy. Soon after, I lost motivation LOL
Gonna catch up on some Bio right now... or not. I might just sleep lol goodnights! Bea is live streaming Gaon Awards, and commentating on everything LOL So I guess I'ma sleep... feel like I'ma be late tomorrow lol
Bea fish-tail braided my hair last night, so it was pretty wavy when I took it off. Then she curled it; it looked like a tornado xD

So following up with Jen picking me up from SJ, we went to the Great Mall and Mom & Jen went shopping. They looked at clothes and got some dresses at Papaya; that's like $100+! It was a long walk to Ouchii. Me and Jo walked off to find Ouchii while they shopped at Papaya. It was like 30min before we got to Ouchii. The dude who was working there greeted us and gave us Ranako stickers. I got one last time keke. The first time he asked if we needed any help, we said we were just looking. We were waiting for Mom & Jen, but we soon realized... they were gonna take a long time shopping. We loitered some more, then he asked us if we were looking for something specific and we were like, no we're just looking and waiting for my mom/sister. He said okay, and after a while we walked off behind the store, and then just walked away xD
We found a shortcut to Papaya through Uniqlo. That took us 5min! After buying at Papaya, we walked back to Ouchi. We were still whining and pleading mom to let me buy the Anoki snapback but she said $30 hat is not worth it. The worker was watching us whine to mom and he was smile-laughing at us xD Jen decided to buy a shirt, we got 2 since there was a discount. We went up to checkout; he asked me if we wanted the snapback, and I said yes, the Anoki one. But I guess he didn't hear me? bc he just checked out Jen's 2 shirts. So we told him again & he was like, oh I didn't know you wanted it. And we also got Jobee the lanyard I wanted but tis okay. Mom still disapproved LOL but oh wells, but dang we spent so much.

We were in traffic for like 3 hours? And finally got home, but there was nothing to drink! So I ate jubes lol. Saturday we went to pick up Jamie, and also helped Jen move in. After picking up Jim, we went to Ikea to buy Jen's bed. After SF, we went back to Berk to get Jim's stuff and pick up Synequeen too.After dropping her off, we went to Winco to buy drinks and pizza for dinnaaaa.

Then Sunday me and Jo went to T4, Target, and the mall with Jessie, Jessica, Steph, and Kathy. It was an interesting walk through Target LOL. Afterward, me & Jo hurried home for family dinner before I had to go back to SJ, which I got home at 11:30?
Well, we had dinner at China Palace. I kinda ate a lot? and there was this dude that I don't recognize but Jim said he worked there before? but I guess we were caught up with the other workers LOL. but he was kinda cute? We had eye contact when we walked in, and then again when I just took a 2nd glance when I was about to sit. Anyway, I sat next to the table where busboys get napkins, boxes and water with my back towards it. I had to scoot my chair in so they can get to the table. He was behind me--according to Jim-- 80% of the time LOL. There was this one time he walked by our table back and forth and then back. He came to take some plates, and he came in b/t me and Jim a lot. Grandma asked him for boxes, but Grandpa claimed the busboys didn't know Chinese LOL he didn't really look Chinese I guess? but he did. and he brought us one box for like 4 dishes and we kinda laughed at him, bc he asked is this enough in Chinese, then glanced at our table. Auntie laughed and said of course not, give me another box. So he went to get another. He took the empty plates. One was a pot and he took it slowly. I was afraid it'd slip off balance bahaha but he got it. Afterward, we had oranges. There was one orange left on the plate; he came by to take it. When he was about to take it, he noticed the orange and said, oh sorry. LOL me & Jim laughed xD
And then he came back to clear the dishes. He was b/t us again and he took some plates, then he reached to the other side of me and in my head I'm like whyyy  LOL

Well Jim drove me back to SJ. Dad went up with me; Ashley was checking IDs. I saw Andres who just got back I guess, and he saw me? When Dad was about to sign in, Ashley was like he didn't need to check in bc he'll be quick. Andres was holding the elevator for me; d'awww lol. And when we got up, he held the door opened for us and Josh was sitting in the common room, and I had to say thanks to Andres then hey to Josh LOL.
It took a while to unpack, but afterward, I rewrote my whiteboard. and wow, there was a lot happening this week. I was printing out homework for ANI55 but the printer is out of yellow ink, so it's only pink/red & blues coming out > >
Anyway, it's late now & I has lots of homework due tomorrow, goodnight! The stupid cylinder took me about 2 hours to do, since I had to cut it out twice and do the little triangles too...

--Ah! I just remembered, after lab today I went down to DC & met up with Biri & Bea. I was eating a sandwich and when I looked up, I had eye contact with Luis who greeted me with a what-up nod. I was kinda shocked bc I mean, I looked weird--about to take a bite from my sandwich!--so I had a late reaction; I think I took the bite and waved with my other hand. He was about to look away, but he still saw my wave, and gave me a nod. Aiya!! >///< LOL--

I think I broke my habit of needing to update everyday, but I still write pretty long posts.
Well yesterday I stayed up late watching The Bad Seed for class, so I woke up late for class, but class ended up being cancelled! It was my lucky unlucky day.
This week I've been watching so much Pokémon. D'awww I really miss my game. Gah, I wanna do some fanart but I'm so lazy!
Next week Saturday I'm taking my WST omg I hate when they ask for official IDs bc like, who would want to take my test for me? Gahh -.-''
I also got my schedule fixed so I don't have to worry about the 12 units anymore~

(here's the story about David Steph xD)
So the class I was trying to add was ANI1, which was a Tuesday night class. It was a lecture hall, so I sat in the 3rd to last row, in the seat on the edge. People started coming in. Kendall and David were in the class, along with some other 2nd years I've seen around and a few 1st years. David sat right behind me, and I said "hey" of course, but I was so nervous bc while it was everyone's 2nd day of class, it was my 1st. Kendall and the rest sat in his row, but Jonathan (their friend that always comes into ANI12 last semester) asked him why he sat at the end and for him to sit closer. His reply was bc he wanted to sit at the edge seat. Being the Libra that I am, you can imagine what thoughts ran into my head LOL I mean, I still remember that text from this xD -sigh- I think too much... It was awkward when we were leaving bc I did't say bye to him, but I really just wanted to leaveeee

Oh yeah, I think Wed was the day I went out by myself and almost got lost LOL well, the bus I was going to take back to SJSU was actually going the opposite direction, so I ended up in far south SJ with only 20% battery life. Almost panicked, so it took me another hour to get to SJSU.

--
Well since I'm too lazy to summarize the week, here are some copy & pasted messages from Kakao xD

"Dude i was in the common rm nd michael (filipino/jap) was leaving nd i said "sup michael" loud LOL nd he said sup but i was laughing nd he was like wats so funny nd i was like nothing nothing. Bc i was thinking to how he doesnt say hiiii" - 02/09

"so i was the only girl in the elevator. how awk. when i got in the elevator somebody had clicked the 3rd floor > > so the elevator went down & this group of chinese dudes came in all talking. yes I'm listening LOL. but they might think that i clicked it. then another group of dudes came in, including the dude that i was tryna tell u guys about when y'all dropped me off (bea thinks he has a nice jawline). and one of the chinese dudes was saying sup to them and shook the 1st dude's hand, tried to shake the 2nd dude's hand but he turned around. awk for him. jawline saw him in that awk situation & extended his hand to shake his. the 2nd dude saw and shook his hand afterward. jawline so nice! haha when the elevator stopped on the 3rd floor, they were looking around for someone who was going to leave, but nobody moved LOL. leaving the elevator, the guys walked out, and the last chinese dude said to me "you first" & i said thanks. xD but i couldn't go anywhere bc there was trafficccc. so awk LOL. jawline looks like a korean actor….? oh and remember that chinese dude w/ the tat i keep seeing? well i c him again. nd he has a pretty heavy accent speaking in eng. i couldn't understand xD" - 02/11

--
So that just reminded me that there was this other dude the day before who was also like "after you" when we were leaving the elevator. How nice~ xD and then there's this asian guy that lives in Joe West, who I saw a few times last semester, who I saw consecutively this week from the elevator, dc, to the gym. Like seriously LOL

Waiting for Jen to pick me up now so I can go to Ouchii at the Great Mall & get my snapback~ and to go home to eat tong yoon~ ^^ Don't wanna do hw bc that means I have to be inside the room w/ the lamp. Naww, don't wanna be in the room.

We are miles apart, but you guys will always be the closest to my heart 사탕해 POL☆RIS~ #110211

That was what I tweeted. Because it's our 5th anniversary! And of course, we're physically miles apart from each other, some of us at least haha. I always find it funny, what are we celebrating? It seems like we're celebrating our friendship, but our friendship was even way before that. We celebrated our "debut" of K-pop covering since CSSS in 8th grade and managed to continue with comebacks in all 4 years of SECA.
Almost... we almost didn't want to do it the last year.
Those years were worth celebrating. We've been on almost a year of hiatus. When are we coming back? It'll be hard to bc it's difficult to get together. Being together almost all the time made it easier to learn the dances together and block it together. But now, we're not together and sometimes, we're too busy to learn dances.
Our challenge now, is to learn the dances ourselves. Block it in a day or 2. And film it. Well, how is that going to go.

Anyways, happy 5th anniversary, celebrating our debut and our friendship. 

Hey y'alls! Happy Chinese New Year! It's the year of the monkey~

I didn't go home this weekend even though that was the plan. So on Friday, I went to SHM's 14F, after me, Bea, & Biri grabbed Thirst Tea. We watched Shaolin Soccer xD I wanna learn martial arts... LOL. I finally bought a beanie; I kinda almost bought every apparel? lol And there was no line; very few people came to 14F. I always go just to support. But yeah, I went to buy a beanie & Shawn/Sean/Shaun (I don't know how you spell his name ahaha) asked me for my name, saying he doesn't think he's seen me around. So I shook hands with him. And I had to also greet Sydney bc she was standing next to him. I almost forgot my change! LOL. At the end of the film was the raffle. I didn't expect to win something, but I won this square-ish Teen Titans Go backpack from San Diego Comic Con. This guy 3D printed Luxo Jr. & his ball. I wanted that! ahaha.

Saturday we went to the Great Mall. I wanted to go bc I knew Ouchii was gonna open their store there. The owner was really nice! I got my picture taken tooo x'D I spent $50+ on 2 t-shirts & a beanie. I didn't realize 'til after that girl t-shirts were more expensive than guy t-shirts; I got guy t-shirts bc I liked them more LOL. They didn't have the snapbacks in stock, but he told me they'll be in stock this week! I want everything Anoki! I'm getting an Anoki snapback, & Anoki backpack, hopefully. I also wanted a decal but naw... and a lanyard and a collector wood keychain. I also wanted a pair of clear glasses, but they're out of stock....(?) Their items are "unique" so once they cut the item, it might not come back again ToT
Jen also bought me a white sheep and white alpaca. I think I'm ending my sheep collection soon. Last one is probably getting one from that cute store in Irvine lol

Today, I did laundry but it took me like almost 2-3 hours to finish? bc I had to wait another hr for the broken dryer to finish. I wasn't sure if I could just open it, but I didn't want to risk it. After an hr, I went back down to switch dryers. After laundry was done, I went to 99c & Dollar Tree by myself to get some floss and envelopes. It was so warm today so I was sweating when I walked back from the bus station. I walked quite a lot.
I also tried Dazzling White's teeth whitening gel I got from Daiso (it turns out 99c & Dollar Tree had it too). I also found this other whitening gel with a plastic teeth mold. I'll see how Dazzling White turns out. If it's good enough, I'll just stick with that one.

Welp, time to do homework and eat.
[I tried to change the color, but the light brown text won't change to dark...]

I wonder if it's a good day today too...
Well, Bea's alarm was ringing for a very long time; why does it ring for 15min? My alarm turns off after a minute > >
Then I went to class. Omgeee so my whiteboard said Rm250, but it was actually 415 -facepalm- So I sat in that class, and no wonder the teacher already started and was already halfway through the syllabus. The syllabus said Chem1. I was like what the heck? So I checked my schedule and it was wrong room. It was so awkward when I walked out after barely sitting down for like 2min. I still made it in time for my actual class! Then I went for lab.
The class seemed fairly fun, though I don't know why I always happen to choose the class with oral presentationsssss. Still, the class seems like my ENVS class, a little like my Geog. class but that's okay. When we did introductions, I thought I was the only 1st year, but there was one other 1st year. Phew.

After eating, I went to check my mail but I couldn't open my mailbox. I texted Bea for help lol but Wing happened to walk by. He saw me & asked if I had stamps, which I did. He said he'll buy them off of me x'D Then he asked if he just give the mail to the mailroom, but they don't send out mail, so I told him to drop it off in the blue mailboxes. He was like okay, and seemed to be edging away, but I said I can't open it or Can you open it, pointing to my mailbox. He said he's never opened his. But he one-try opened mine like magic! Yays for hyung xD
We took the elevator back together. When we got into my room, it was so warm. Too warm.
So he took the "stickers" (he called them sticker-things at first ahaha) and left~ and I got my earphones~ wheeee

I went to the Student Union with Bea and when we were leaving, this dude said nice shirt as we passed by. Since Bea was closer to him, I thought he was saying it to her, but she didn't respond. Then I remembered what shirt I was wearing (Pokémon) & quickly said thanks xD He was wearing a beanie with a Pokéball xD

Well anyway, I haven't figured out my schedule... and I probably messed up big time. So now I have to go talk to John tomorrow... it's gonna be awkward 'cause he failed me in ANI12... ahaha..haha.. ha.

My Friday class was really fun! Although it was pretty dreadful getting up in the morning lol It was a 6 hour class, and we didn't do much, other than like 20min. of gesture drawing? and then Sheldon, our teacher, just kept talking and talking. And showed us his sketchbooks, and did a few demos for us. He also related music to art, saying art is music. Like, wow. Okay.
He also told us a few things about himself. He's totally cool, alright? Like he jokes a lot, cusses a lot. Pfft.

He owns an art store; sponsored by an art company; solves homicide cases bc he's a blood splatter expert? LOL His TA, or other teacher, is Ally, whom he's known since she's 14, and she's been teaching since 14 or 15y/o. She's pretty chill. He talked a lot about passion/motivation/love of drawing. He cover our grades for us ;) so grades don't really matter in the class.

Well, I don't want to ramble since I have to go to sleep. I'ma go to Jim's tomorrow. Alone. :o Will I make it? bahaha.
I still have to figure out my classes omgeeee. Gonna need to find a filler class...

Today was the first day back at school, and well, it's a mess. The first class I went to, I can't take it anymore since I didn't take prerequisites, so now I have to look for another class.
ANI14 was pretty fun~ our TA looks nerdy bc he wears glasses, but he seems pretty cool though.
Bought my ANI14 kit too, but if I'm taking ANI50, I have to buy a kit for that too gah. (Arlene was saying how she's glad she passed ANI12 'cause she was stressing in that class, and I'm like > <)

I showered early, and I was on my bed catching up on performances and trying to look up stuff on IMFACT, trying to find the original songs of Casino, Fakin', and Make Me Smile. Meimei found Fakin' for me; it was an English song. And Make Me Smile was by ZE:A's Dongjun for his web drama. He only sang a minute of that song while IMFACT sang the whole song :I
Still nothing on Casino, so I hope it's an original song? ToT even though it's not in their 'Lollipop' single.
Well yeah, I was searching up stuff, and then there was a fire alarm. Aigoo, so we walked the stairs down. I was snapchatting us walking & this dude who came out of the door from a different door was like "we're about to die and you're snapchatting? you got your priorities straight." He said it jokingly of course, but so weird xD

Gotta save pics, gotta download songs, gotta find that one song. So much to doooo.
Gotta worry about class... and more supplies.
Welp, I has a early Friday class, probably gonna sleep nows~

I was on the search for that missing song of mine... through K-ballad/indie search on Youtube. But no luck. It just led me to finding other groups that I wouldn't listen to, but their songs happened to be good. The closest was Jung Jun Il's Hug Me but I think it's bc V & J-hope sang it, so it just sounded familiar but I'm not sure. Aiya. Anyway, I still gotta try that black hard drive & my Sony Xperia (in SJ)... 

Then I watched dance covers on YT & came across Dazzling. Looking through their channel, I found their "show." The editing was on point though! Makes me want to make our own to haha but no ideas, like what would we film? And anyway, we too shy to even talk to the camera & we have no fans ahaha. I still want to use After Effects to create our logo effect, something simple... but school is starting soon. I'll be heading back to SJ in 2 days. Played lots of Blade & Soul, but I can't keep waking up late!
Ugh, I don't wanna deal with school yet... I still have to deal with the cat ears omg.

U10T all the way! Aiyo, I wasted so much time looking for fantaken pics. I can't save for ASTRO or IMFACT or else I'm dead; my U10T phase has not passed yet... must resist. But my ASTRO cutiesss ;n; And yeah, I couldn't help fangirling for IMFACT when I watched their teasers on V app. ASTRO debut in February! "Puss in Boots" better be in their album~

(Oh yeah, I was sore after "Catch Me" for a good two days, my shoulders especially.)

Today I woke up around 11. Didn't know what to do or actually, I didn't really want to do any chores. So I laid in bed watching 30th Golden Disk Awards on V app. Monsta X~ <3 Minhyuk wasn't there :( I'm not sure who else is supposed to be on there, but not a lot of performances... yet. Is it over? Then mom told me to shower the dogs since it was a sunny day. So I showered them by myself. It wasn't very thorough because it's so hard to keep their fur wet & get the shampoo. Why their fur dry so fast~ and they either keep shaking before I let them. Did I miss some spots? bleh. They'll need a thorough-er shower next time. After combing them, I washed my shoes. Finally. Now they're nice & white & ready for school~

Aigoo. School is next week~ > <

[oh, it's only Day 1 of 30th GDA xD aiyah! I think I'll save for Monsta X & ASTRO :'( ]

Look at my laziness over the break. Aiya. Still watching a bunch of Taiwanese dramas; still haven't finished Fall in Love with Me. Finished Inborn Pair though.

Gahh, it's been awhile--that I haven't danced intensely. And here, I give it my all for U10T's "Catch Me". Aigoo, the dance kept me on the balls of my feet. Aish, I think I even got a few blisters (or about-to-be-blister sore spots); I didn't want to walk anymoreeee.
I was dancing in a sweater & sweats; I sweated sooo much, it was like it rained on me. Seriously.
I did learn their dance in a day; memorizing it is a different story. I wonder if I'll be sore tomorrow... doubt it? The heat got to me though. I thought I was going to get sick.

I'm still looking for that one song... I swear it was during freshman year. Back then, I had songs on an SD card, so I hope I didn't completely delete the song... Still have one more hard drive to check, but I have a feeling it's not in there since the white Seagate should have the oldest songs downloaded...
I remember that I had a thought, that since the music only I listen to are already in my phone, I'd delete the file from the computer, but I don't remember was it during then or not... It's so annoying because I can't find it. It was a long title all in Hangul. I only remember in the YT video, the image was of a tan letter, which I think could be the album cover... I'm not sure how old or new it is, even though I feel like it should be 2012? I remember I Google translated it into English just to know what it meant, but I forgot already; vague memory of it meaning something with afternoon and eomma. It's by someone (or group or collab) that I would usually not listen to...

I came across Kiss & X-Japan while I was searching through a YT channel (ClassicKpop427). Kiss's "Because I'm a Girl" piano version started playing. I always think Kiss is a Japanese group... X-Japan is an actual Japanese group right? lol Anyway, although there are a lot of old songs, there was no luck finding my song ToT
On a side note, I have only one more week left before school .-.

Happy New Year everyone! It's 2016! One year closer to our possible graduation date!! ....
Well. Nothing seems to be any different as another chapter of our life has ended, and a new one begins.
Yeah... nothing's different... haha

Today, I binge-saved BTS photos; I can't help it! I don't even know why I'm saving photos again, but I told myself after BTS, no more. don't even get me started on VIXX Dx
And also watched KBS & MBC end-of-year shows.

But I was bothered by my slight OCD(?) on music and dancing. Er, it's hard to explain, but when I dl-ed all the music albums, we transferred the files into a black hard drive. We kinda "lost it" but found one, however, the wire is faulty & we can't check if it's our hard drive, with all our stuff.
So the problem is, when I get caught up with a group or something, for example, Boys Republic or HALO, I have an urge to get all their released singles/albums, even though I vaguely remember I already have them. But I needed to get it to satisfy me. Even if I don't listen to the album.
Then the deal with the dance practices. Sometime it's hard to find every released practice video, so when I'm on Amy D's or mirrorHD's channel & they mirrored some rookie's or underrated group's practice videos, it leads me to fancam/album searching. It does get tiring but I can't help it...?
Sometimes, suggested videos or related videos lead me on even farther searches & down memory lane, like it did today to finding Twi-light, New-Us, & Demion.

Underrated groups are easily forgotten when they don't have any recent comebacks or news. Sometimes not even knowing the groups disbanded because they're not popular enough to be on the news. So when I see the practice videos, I kinda miss them...
And so, when I realized there are so many rookie/underrated groups that I've forgotten, it gets me wondering what other groups have gotten hidden under all the more popular and larger groups.

Ogawd, don't even get me started on New-Us. Member changes? ToT Plus, it's like impossible to find their singles Right Now & Love Panic and the songs are really good tooooo! I can only scavenge for their title tracks, & I'll have to deal with that...

Ah, it's late right now. I just had a long, weird talk with Victor. I've had 2 weird talks about love and relationships with 2 Hmong guys, what the heck xD
Anyway, I don't know how I'll phrase my '2016 New Year's Resolutions' but we'll see. Goodnight!

I haven't opened my own laptop in a while & just caught up on Bunnie's & Sharkie's blogs.

A comment. It's always been running through my mind every time I read their posts. I realize just how much I don't know about my friends. No matter how close, there are some things that cannot be talked about.
Their struggles. Their thoughts.
Sometimes it makes me want to cry because I can't do anything that can possibly help them. Mina's posts are always really philosophical. Deep in thought. So deep... that it gets me wondering too.
Wondering if I ever have such problems, thinking about such things, but that it never bothered me enough to be, well, in my mind all the time. The same goes for Meimei... them two are actually quite similar haha.
Mina's writing has always been awesome. Her recent post "Christmas morning" was written so much like the beginning of a chapter in a book. A monologue.

I started blogging because I wanted to keep some sort of "online diary." I'll have you know, when I started blogging about 9 years ago, I already kept a physical diary too. I don't keep one anymore really... not a personal one at least.
My writing and even thoughts have really changed (of course, the earliest posts were short & simple, that of a ~10 year old). Some time during high school, I believe, I changed how I posted things. I even stopped using my other blog links & focused everything in one link instead.
Oops, I ranted too much about my blogs.

For me, I think blogging is a great way to write things down, to let things out, and to get things off your mind. Yeah, you can definitely do this in a diary too, but this "diary" of mine, I am sharing out, whether you care about it or want to read about it, or not, it's your choice. Originally, this "online diary" was never meant to be shared, but then I felt like there were some things I wrote that I wanted to share... so yeah. I write in a way that's kind of like a story, written as if it's a conversation, but I refrain from censoring anything just because I'm conscious of my readers. I try to keep it as original as possible, with no influence--if you know what I mean.
Also comparing the blogs, I realize that our personality, our tastes, are very different from each other's and shows quite a lot in how we layout our blog and edit our posts.

Ahh, back to my commenting/thoughts from their blogs. Reading so many of Mina's posts, it always makes me evaluate myself & how I approach things. Yes, I do mark myself as a pretty optimistic person. No matter how dire the situation, ahem academic work, I always believe I can do it. If I can't, well then, I can't; but I didn't give up on it. I did as much as I could & let the consequences happen.
Because it's not the end of the world. 
And yes, I do have moments when I break down. And when I break down, well, I don't know actually. Depending on the situation, different thoughts run through my head. But I can't turn back time, and well, I just have to deal with it. Sometimes, I go through the days, weeks, and even months being "strong." But there's always that moment when the stress/pressure is too much & I become weak. But after that, that's when you pick yourself up again, and life goes on.

Sometimes I wonder, "Is a pep talk enough? Is motivation or inspiration enough?"
It most definitely is not enough to help solve any problems one might be facing, but I think it's enough to get one thinking about what they can possibly do in their life choices. I at least hope it's motivation enough. It's a pep talk to myself too. Like Meimei said, we can't be lumps on a log forever; whether it be a good or bad choice, a choice must be made either way.
Just know that family and friends are always by your side (or only a text/message away, in our case).

~Live life happily. Enjoy the present~
with love.

... on my winter break.

When was my last update? Wow I've been super busy (or lazy, but mostly busy) & haven't had time to blog about the week, so I of course can't remember weeks of events, though there are a lot worth remembering; but meh.

Anyway, it's finals week! Well, I had my first final last Tues (12/8) -- what's worth remembering is Dr. Jay is awesome~ he's more than just our professor :') It's his first time teaching at SJSU & we were his first class, bc we started school on Thur & we're his morning class -- anyway, that final was easy, though I did an all-nighter, doing what I don't know. It was like 6am or so when I finished the study guide for ENVS, so I didn't want to risk not being able to wake up so I dilly-dallied 'til class time. It's crazy. Who even takes a final without sleep? X'D (This cute innocent graphic design major talked to me a bit, not really talking but yeah. He's so innocenttttt~ *squeee* & shy)

I haven't had a lot of sleep due to all these stuff happening. After the last classes on Tues though, the following days I had awesome sleep--sleeping early & waking up early. It's really refreshing & I'm always like super happy when I wake up bahaha. But since LeAnn & Bea are still sleeping, I have to take my homework out into the common room, so I'm usually there all day. And I end up being the "common room greeter" xD
One time banjjak banjjak's roommate went in & out the lobby like 3 times. And then he was leaving w/ banjjak banjjak & I greeted him for the 4th time & he was like "you're out here all morning" & I just gave him a laugh. Then banjjak banjjak appeared from behind the wall & we greeted each other (I think). I was literally up early the rest of the week, 'til Sunday, in which I did an all-nighter to finish ANI12 & ANI24 projects. I finished both of them, but didn't really like the outcome of either... oh wells.
Another time banjjak banjjak was leaving w/ him again, & I had said hey to his roommate, & then banjjak banjjak sees me and says "what's goooood?" & I just very quietly said hey bc I have no idea how to answer that LOL
Then another time, I was working & when someone came in from the elevator, I didn't look up 'til a few sec later. I thought the person had already left, but I look up, & it was banjjak banjjak. He had dropped something right before passing the wall. He picked it up, saw me, & we had to greet each other xDD
Okay, I'ma stop with banjjak banjjak xD

Wing came back Saturday night, which is early for him. Later that night, I was going to sleep early, but Bea was using my laptop to submit her essay but she was having troubles with the scans at one point. I think I may have already fallen asleep, but I got up? I don't know if she called me or what... I was pretty drowsy. So I went down to help her. She was panicking, & I was tryna calm her down while I figured it out, when he came in & BOO-ed us really loud. Bea got kinda scared. Then he was like "Didja miss me?" & without thinking, kinda, I said "yes, yes I did" the same time Bea said "NO" w/ that "attitude" of hers xDD & then she said just kidding & asked him if he was leaving next semester...? His answer didn't fit...? bc he said he wasn't or something? Maybe he's staying next semester~ but yah, hyung is weird :p

Oh yah, yesterday I had quite an interesting short convo w/ Michael. xD So I saw him w/ a jacket walk toward our side of the floor & he never came back, so I assumed he took the stairs down. Later he came back in from the elevator. I did a double take, kind of, & asked him didn't he just go there (points to the stairs). And he laughed & said yeah. I actually thought that was the end of the convo, but he felt the need to tell me that it was easier to go down the stairs instead. We just laughed & then we were like see ya. He didn't have his jacket when he came back up, just saying LOL
So today, me & Bea were in the common room after eating after our finals. He was carrying a bag on his back. Without thinking I asked him where he was going (as soon as I asked, I knew it was a stupid question. I don't even know why I wanted to strike up a convo w/ him...? lol) He was like "to my room..." And then I said something that didn't make any sense x'D And he was like "oh, yeah I came from there (points to stairs)" He had that smile that said he was referencing to yesterday's convo. Thank goodness Bea followed up w/ the question about his bag, which he said was his laundry. Bea told him he looked like he went camping. We had a good laugh, & then I said see ya. At first Michael had a very stoic expression, so he seemed scary to talk to, but he's actually really nice~ ^^

So today's finals were okay. I felt guilty in ANI12 though bc everyone was so proud of their notebooks & I had a hella shitty one (it's not even complete). Oh, & Andy also has AxentWear~ the red one, & it seems like it works fine for him > >
TAs Yuki & Colton got us doughnuts for ANI24 final~ <3 <3
After both ANI class/finals, I can finally relax~ last final on Wed. bleh. Geography. Gotta study lots... then I get to go home!!! :'D

I'm a Jeffreak! <3 JeffreyFever~ his videos are a great destresser ;D

Well, we finished Mulan. And I was doing hw. We talked a bit w/ Cameron, Caleb's brother. LeAnn though, still as exaggerated in her gestures aiyah.

Then I went down to DC to get a sandwich & coffee. My coffee tasted like warm milk w/ a hint of caramel -.- I was ranting to Bea (mainly) about Mina's problems. Dayum, her roommates are so freakin' annoying, I wanna smack them. After my long rant, I took my stuff & went outside. The hallway smelled like smoke. I was going back into the room to get something, & I heard spraying. Whoever it was sprayed some out the door, & I was like woah, stop! bc I was going into the room. Then Wing popped his head out, and did small spritzs of Febreeze. He kept wanting to spray so I told him to spray the hallway. He goes out & you hear this continuous spray as he came back. He sprayed too much x_X
So I went out, & I think I got a slight headache. Anyway, I was on my laptop (starting on hw or scrolling through FB) & Luis came back from RA on Duty. My cpu was on Canvas. He was like JuSTIna. What are you still doing up? and I was like homeworkkk~ & he walked to the hallway opposite our side & then back to his room. Then I was on my FB/Twit and he was coming back & I switched back to Canvas(?). And he said goodnight to me--he was leaving again w/ his skateboard.

I BS-ed my replies for ENVS hw; late anyway :p
Then Michael came back. After going to his room, he came back w/ food xD I think I took one glance too many lol He turned on the TV & I was watching (& I was blogging this) & he asked me if I needed it turned off, but no I didn't lol. I couldn't sit out in the common room w/ just him so I asked Bea to come out lol. After he finished eating, he came back w/ candy & he asked us if we wanted any~
:p this dude doesn't even talk very much to us

Damn, I had that sandwich & coffee at 1am; so unhealthy in college. My body is dyinggggg. I can feel my belly very uncomfortable lately.

I actually woke up this morning~ Was going to skip class but couldn't...
I really needed coffee so even though it was already 9 & I was going to be late. But I had to grab something to eat since I can't have coffee on an empty stomach. CB swiped me in xD
When I got to class, some dude had taken my seat (the table right in front of the door), so I had to take a seat in the 2nd to last row. I paid attention only half-heartedly, rewriting notes from my phone. My eyes were dryingggg. Well it hurt.
After leaving class, I went straight to the dorms to take a nap. I was planning to wake up to do hw, but then decided not to. I packed up & went to class. On the way there, Flora called me from behind so I walked w/ her to class & we talked. Man, every time I talk to someone who seriously works hard on their assignments, I always feel so bad...
John was still kinda sick so he said we were only going to do lecture. So we did the lecture but I was almost going to sleep. We ended class really early, I mean, he gave us so much info. He said if we wanted critique on our ships, go ahead & bring it up to him; if not, dat's cool too. He looked through the rendering & yaaaas, finally passed my cylinder though I gotta touch up on my core shadow. He looked at my ellipse cubes & said not yet.
7. HOURS. NO PASS. that's devastating :'D well at least, I can finally do my sphere. Class was good though~ ^^

I grabbed a sandwich from the DC & came back to the dorms. I didn't even realize Bea was sleeping on her bed. I moved things outside to do hw but Toy Story 2 & Finding Nemo was playing; I was also busy trying to write my super long blog so I was too distracted to do hw -.-
I didn't do hw the whole day & my tummy hurt but I couldn't gooooo

So right now, a lot of us r out here watching Mulan.

Wow. Did an all-nighter today. Waiting for shower & is it hyung? I unno.
--it's not hyung xD it was Josh lolol he cleaned up after himself--

I've been so busy this weekend that I didn't do hw (& when I did have time, I didn't want to do it)
Stephanie came to visit again today~ we didn't know what to do haha so we went to Muji's to shop. Saw Kendall there xD awk... LOL Then we decided for a very long time what to do. Walked around a bit & decided to go to Thirst Tea & eat their honey toast omgeee it was so goood~
The cute guy there (not Jonny; the shorter one) was so nice~ So he greeted us when we came in & we were looking at the menu. We let other people order first since we were still choosing. When they were done ordering, we were standing close to the cash register. It might've looked like we were ready to order? bc he stood there waiting, and said hello or something. At that same moment a guy walked in so I turned to look, thinking that he was just saying hi to that guy. Then I looked at him & he was like hi or something & Steph responded. I don't know if I did bc I was just thinking about how awkward that was, 'cause he smiled & chuckled a bit; & in a way, it seemed like he knew I was wondering if he was saying hi to us.
Anyway, after we ordered the toast, he went to make it while the girl made Steph's drink. More people were coming in, but he was busy making toast while the girl was making drinks. Steph joked around & said "he dropped everything else for us" LOL omgeeee I wish xDD
Dude it was seriously yummmy~ <3
Afterward we walked around for a very long time & finally decided to eat at Ike's Love & Sandwiches. Saw Kaleo lol Then we took our sandwiches back to the dorm to eat. LeAnn came back. After we finished eating, we headed out again to Muji since Steph was leaving soon. We were at Muji's when Bea texted me. When we were walking back to dorm, Bea texted & I called her, asking if she wanted to eat or drink or anything. So we waited for her outside Thirst Tea; 'cause they said they were down to try a toast. But when Bea got there, they ended up not getting it :p
Then we went to Quickly for popcorn chicken. Steph's sister came by the time we got to the dorms (we got scared when we were walking under the sewers xD)

We got back into the dorms (using the stairs) & then Luis came in from the elevator & asked me if we were watching Forrest Gump (it's for his program to raise Disability Awareness & I nodded to him. We went inside to change. Someone knocked on our door. Assuming it was John, Bea said "changingggg" & LeAnn said "no one's hereeee" omg how embarrassing was it when I looked into the peephole & it was LUIS. We kinda panicked & then I opened the door for him. There was like a second of silence & then he said just wanted to let you guys know, the movie's gonna start soon. And I said okay thanks. Omg them 2 though >///< I needed to do hw but I agreed to Luis to watch the movie~ I was sitting on the couch waiting & we heard Luis knock on someone's door & say well hurry get ready & watch the movie. & us in the common room laughed bc Luis was getting people to come out to watch lol So we watched Forrest Gump & I was taking a snap; Luis waved in it xD In the movie, there was an empty seat next to a kid on the school bus but he blocked the seat and said to Forrest "you can't sit here" & Luis said don't do that And we all looked at him & laughed LOL then he said, what? I'm just tryna teach y'all something. You guys are supposed to learn something new xD We were about an hour or 2? into the movie, & the girl took off her bra, & Maria teased Luis and asked should we not do that either? and we all laughed lolol
After the movie I was going to do hw but didn't do hw until like 12. Josue came over & we were talking. We laughed bc he finally told Bea that he told DB she liked him & her name; it was hilarious. We were outside & were walking back to the room talking about Diego's junior best friend & Josue asked if I thought he was adorable; we had just passed by Josh, & Josue pointed a thumb back. I was talking to Josue. In the room, Bea said she turned around & saw Josh was behind us so he might've thought we were saying he was adorable. Omo.
Me & Bea went to do laundry. There was this dude who we've never seen before who was going down so we were waiting for the elevator together. When he came into the lobby he cheerily said hi. After we put our laundry to wash, we were coming back up the elevator & he was in there too. Omgee so awk. xD

I brought my stuff out to the room & went to the girls' restroom. Caleb was outside in the space near Ashley's room w/ his friends. Apparently his brother came to visit since they're off already? Anyway he was the guy we saw in the elevator twice. So I was coming back from the restroom and I just smiled to acknowledge them, but his brother slightly turned to wave to me so I waved back xD
He looks like Caleb & has his bright personality too haah. Anyway, I stayed up all night doing hw. We slept around 6.

Well long story short (since somebody's complaining about how long my posts were -3-)

This morning Jen & Jo had to keep calling me to wake me, though I woke up here & there, I went back to sleep. Finally got up around 10, but lounged in bed 'til 1030. Didn't know what I did on the laptop 'til 12... I rendered my cylinder some more afterward. Had hot tea latte to drink.
Around 4:15, I went w/ Joshua & Serena to a clarinet recital (for Josue). It was nice, but at some point I think I dozed...? I tried to stay awake. I met their friend Anthony too. It was kinda scary listening to Serena & Anthony talk about Schumann/practicing music/other musicians; & her & Joshua talking about practicing/which piece they liked best/piano brands. At the end of the recital, we went to the reception for some foooddd (it was really finger foods/snacks & this was my first meal. I had little idea what I was putting in my mouth... it was kinda good though :p)
After I got back to dorm, I had to head out again to go to this dance performance for Bea, w/ LeAnn. It was pretty awesome too. The 1st dance I didn't understand. And then one performance had no music, just a live singer + beat boxer (the beat boxer turned out to be the choreographer too). The last performance was really fun & cool~
We got back around 9? LeAnn got food at the DC while I ate half of my Panda Express leftover.

Wow, I really wasn't productive on my own stuff...
Anyway, short enough? haha Goodnights~ Steph is coming todayyyyy. What're we gonna doooo

Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts or at least we are getting there.

I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^

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