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Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/

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I've been in a pretty good mood this week ahaha
Anyway, I spent today dealing with my art SNS because I want to start getting in the habit of sharing work etc. Also, I had fun with OBS and setting up stuff like a streamer LOL (though, no streaming ahaha)

Twitter: @denryu
Instagram: https://instagram.com/pinksheepart
Tumblr: ShockingSheep
Youtube: denryudraws
Picarto: pinksheepyunnie
Deviantart: pinksheepyunnie
Pixiv: pinksheepart

Labels: accounts, SNS, social media

Woop woop!
I've been pretty productive this semester so far, I think. Less procrastination definitely. I still need to hurry up & work on my portfolio.

Anyway, today was a good day! I think I talked to many different people, getting into groups (pairs, in one case) and talking to my classmates whom I don't usually talk to hahaha especially Johnny. He kept "scolding" me for holding the door open for the class lol at the third door he said, "Justina. Get away from the door" LOL I cannot x'D Afterward, in modeling, Heather asked me to be part of their group~ saves me trouble from needing to find one (also on Monday, because Callum kept going on about cheddar biscuits last Wednesday, Val brought some! They were yum ^^) I also kept seeing Jonathan (David & Kendall's friend who always dropped by ANI12 freshman year) because I've been working in the art building, so I greet him too. And then Michael from 51a was also friendly to talk to ^^ I'm always happy to greet Uli when he's working too :D

Today, as I was just sitting down to eat in the Student Union, this Asian dude approached me. I was so alert because I was worried it might be another "Joey" incident, but he ended up being really nice. He just needed to do a survey for his psych class. He told me he got rejected so many times and all I could say was "oh..." x'D I mean, I'm still shocked from this encounter lol I told him my name & he was like "oh, my name is Justin." Me: "Oh, ahaha... hahaha..." LOL

Minar's first day at Davis today! Her classes seem fun ^^ Have fun there usagi! Don't stress too much, like me x'D
ALSO (I keep forgetting this lol) I want to start recording some processes as I'm working so look out for short videos! Probably on my tumblr... thought about putting it on YT too but naw.

Purchases:
- BTS 2017 summer package (darn you stephhhh x'D)
-Stevie Hoang "Undiscovered"
-future* BTS - "Her" L

I'm broke. We've been eating out so much ToT & then I also want NU'EST W'S new album... :( & other stuff... recently just turned in a resumé to Gongcha buuuut, don't think I'ma get hired o.o should apply for the library job lol

I guess?
I'm sorta improving my work habits. I'm not procrastinating as much on ANI work (other areas still need work) but that's because I don't want to stay in the art building too long. Speaking of which, I just came back from there half an hour ago. It's really enjoyable working in the art building, but it's not like I really talk to anybody.

My laptop got fixed last week, and Michael from SuperTech Geek was really nice; had a cozy workstudio, it smelled nice too. He did song request, so we just listened to Kpop haha He was diggin' the music xD he's so chill. I got a lot more info about my laptop than the print shop could give me :p And he charged the same (at first he said $40, but then he said $30).

I died yesterday. I was stressing out over my resumé and cover letter for DSGN 100W 'cause I thought I did it wrong. But when I talked to him about it, he told me it was fine & accepted my work anyway. Even though he was being strict about the 10% similarity index on Turnitin lol He's actually pretty nice if you communicate well with him :p

Me and Steph have been eating out a lot ToT and she had me turn in my resumé to Gongcha. I did it :p Makes me want to apply to other jobs too lol Next Saturday I'll be helping Arlene's job set up for Saturday school. I get paid $40 xD woot woot.
Uh, I need a job... but I want an office one ahaha or retail... or Philz? hm...

I've been lazy to post. On top of that, my laptop's been dead for a week. That makes posting twice the trouble if I were to type from my phone :p Hopefully I get it fixed by this week...
In a way I'm disconnected... from my interests ahaha like keeping up with the new releases from TsukiPro and HnA/K2N/ALJ lol Maybe it's a good start to breaking that habit...

Because of my dead laptop, I was forced to work in the library and the art building. Well, I'm working in the art building no matter what. But I really miss drawing on my tablet~ No laptop = start working on my portfolio aka traditional paintings lol I've been pretty productive because of this I guess. Ugh, but I did accidentally oversleep for my 8am animation class. Speaking of classes, I did well in my DSGN100W class. I thought it'd be harder but it went totally fine! I did falter and stutter a bit, but I took it as talking to friends. And I think I did talk fast though ^^; I "uhh-ed" a bit much too hehe. Overall, I said the right things because my professor kept nodding! He's strict, but nice LOL.

I also got to go to Academic Coffee! The owner was really nice. I do need to cut down on my coffee intake though lol Finally figured out Lee Kangbin's creamart "recipe" lol well, it's hopefully that we figured it out. Gah, I couldn't stop thinking about it because I haven't done it yet. It's literally been running through my head in classes lol like buying the tools etc, though I keeping myself at bay since I can't confirm I can do it yet, I don't want to waste money.
SPEAKING OF MONEY. The freakin' bookstore ripped me off, and I'm salty about how much I needed to pay for a rental of a new textbook. I COULD'VE USED THAT MONEY FOR MY ESPRESSO MACHINE.

......
I'll get to changing these unviewable headers etc. Doesn't look like the creator is going to get those links for me...

So many releases. I just want to dance~ I think I'ma go to hip hop after Fire on the Fountain.
October has way too many comebacks too...

Yay! So I got a new phone from the Serramonte mall. My LED has been broken for a while now. Anyway this is just a quick update.

We were at the mall, & we went to the T-mobile kiosk (we got there first instead of the main store on the other side of the mall). The guy, Leo, who helped us out was super nice and friendly, and fun to talk to. He happened to be the manager LOL (looks Filipino?) At first, we were just looking. The Samsung Note 8 & S8+ weren't charged so I asked him if they had any that were charged that we could look at. He thought about it with a smile, then said "you can use mine" & I'm like o.o lol He said it was fine since it's his other phone. I'm highly doubting that lol so there I was, stressing like heck, because I didn't know how to use it & I was scared I was going to break it or click something or SOMETHING lol I'm sweatin' so much using it x'D We asked about the difference between the Note & the S8 & he said it was just the pen LOL & that it wasn't worth buying the Note for a $130 difference just for a pen. I asked, how's the camera in low light *short pause* "it's okay" he says LOL So I got the S8+ (his was an S8). And then he managed to convince us to get a case too (that case was damn expensive x'D but it's sturdy so I guess) & he asked what color & we were looking at them. He said it'd look like his black case. So when I said I'll get the black one he was like, "we're matching now" & me and Jen just laughed x'D he sure does know how to talk, sell, & flirt(?) ahaha he's funny. Pricey. & it took me forever to set it up the way I want it too. At least everything transferred over though xD even my wallpaper & lockscreen! Mind-blown x'D

Let's try to keep the phone longer than 2 years lol The phone was around $800, down-payment was $80 ($30/mo since we're financing), case was... $50. Oh yeah, he asked if we wanted a screen protector & I asked him if they had tempered & he shook his head & sorta whispered "I got mine from Amazon" LOL & earlier when he asked if we wanted a case, he showed us how sturdy their cases were by banging the side of his phone on the edge of the table really loudly LOL
Then me & Jen went to Nina's I think & ended up buying... quite a lot of stuff ^^; over $100. woops

Meant to run away from the 100 degree+ heat in SJ, but it's pretty hot here in Daly City too. Stockton is about the same as SJ. Still cooler than the apartment though :p
Jim got her ears pierced :o
Yesterday we had dinner at Fai Gor's place, & I had drinks & got sleepy haha apparently face got red after 1 bottle oops x'D I wanted dessert but it was late so there wasn't any close-by dessert stores. So we went to Safeway to buy cake, only to realize too late none of us brought money. So Chuck had to pay for my chocolate cake lol it's not even my bday & he had to pay for a cake I wanted LOL

Ugh, I have lots to do. I feel sorta disorganized--not yet procrastinating-- but feel like I have so much to do, don't know what to do first, etc. I want to sleep but... gots to work...

Ah, I forgot what to talk about...
Anyway, I had a late dinner of udon because I was busy trying to finish the felted pug for Arlene. & when I was done with that, I made my own envelope out of card stock because the Daiso message cards didn't come with them. Then I wrote her a 3-page letter. Hm, I like writing letters, but after I'm done it's like, it's so embarrassing or something. And then I seem to regret what I write sometimes?

Classes were fun today~ I'm talking to more of my classmates who I usually don't talk to.

A quick note, I saw Michael today, and it was awkward! sorta... and I don't know why my heart was racing after I said hi. And I don't know why I was so nervous. Dang, should've given him a hug lol. It wasn't as awkward as that other time. I felt like we both maybe slowed down our walking just a bit but ended up deciding not to stop and talk. I think if we did, it'd be even more awkward since he was with friends, and it's not like we had anything to talk about. 

We had our mandatory advising this week; tomorrow we have a whole major meeting. I wasn't sure of what track I wanted to take, but we have to decide by next year right? And after the meeting I think I came to a conclusion: go on the animation track, but also take a class in visual development and modeling. It seems like a very compromising plan. I couldn't decide what to take because I was interested in all of them, but after Raquel said we could take the higher up courses as electives, I was like, "animation." So... yup. Of course, I still need to pass my mid-portfolio... let's pray for that. I need to stop worrying about whether it'll go well or not and just do. 
Speaking of just do, I got an e-mail by a WayUp worker who looks at listings that match with profiles and e-mails them. He matched mine to a Kohl's art summer internship, and I got excited. Paid internship, free housing + transportation. BUT. It's in Wisconsin x'D It is just an internship though, so it seems fun to be out there. I don't know though.

I was just thinking... how late I was in finally making a decision in my future (ie. changing from 'pharmacy' to 'art' in junior year of high school). After that, it took me a while to figure out what exactly I want to do with this major... and so, everyone is bound to find their path sooner or later. Compared to everyone else, you might be a late bloomer, but the important thing is: you bloomed. 
So don't give up! <3

It's already been one week of school (aka 3 days lol).
This week is gonna feel long since I have class everyday... yes, even Friday. Really doing a lot this semester-- taking 5 classes lol and I even planned to take up the tutoring job my friend offered (though she quit there ^^; ) Hopefully I can handle them... I was at first really nervous for my 2 ANI classes in the morning, but they seem fun~ >w< I'm really nervous about my RTVF & my DSGN 100W class though... my 100W seems strict, just 1 short group presentation & lots of writing. RTVF's final is a group video production? *heaves a big sigh* Let's live ^^;

On a side note, my phone is green-screened again. Why didn't you last longer than 2 yearsss alskdjf

I've been on a roll doing digital art; well, not really lol I think I like digital painting more than cell-styled coloring that most artists use. I think I like the painterly look of art... well, I've come to like it 'cause it's fun painting & blending, but it's really hard x'D though I still want to learn both styles. But let me take a break; I kinda miss traditional lol

Did I mention I got all the books I ordered when I got back to the apartment?~ super happy about that~ Plus JJ Project's album, & my 2 Lily, Sayonara CDs~ I also got some more charm findings in bulk from eBay. They'll be here soon~ but I need more jump rings lol hm.
I want NU'EST's movies "Shiranai, Futari" but can you believe it's not available on iTunes anymore? Uhh, amazon JP has the 1st edition DVD box for purchase & available for shipping to US so I don't need to go through proxy buuuut it's almost $50 (plus, the only ver that has Eng subs. the regular edition only has Japanese subs). I'm thinking about it... but I'm waiting on NU'EST W's comeback/debut album in October, Shouta's & IVVY's release in October... this is why I'm really tempted to get a job LOL but I'm not brave enough *hides in a corner* There's a saying: if it's scary, it means it's time to jump. So I should just DO it, meaning, I should go fix up my resumé lol. I might go with my purchase of the drama after NU'EST W releases... I might share the drama on the condition that people show me their receipt of purchase of their album LOL PROMOTION AT ITS FINEST. Iunno... lolol & then depending on the drama (people said it's really good) I might get the Soundtrack disc... HM.
I just ripped "Bokura no Polaris" CD. I have a thing for voices LOL which is why I love seiyuus~ <3 Lily, Sayonara's voice though~ it's mainly him talking about... something. How I wish I could understand, & so I could read the booklet that came with it. It's supposed to be talking about his journey of his music, or like the process or something. I can only understand like one or 2 phrases. The heck x'D I seriously want to translate.... hnggg

Final question: can I work 2 jobs... HM lol

Damn... I didn't think I'd start reading again. But I did.
"Cello Mello" though... I think there were 5 short stories? They were so cute~ I definitely liked "Four Leaf Clover" but the final story, "Cello Mellow" was too cute. Actually, I think it's because it's been awhile, but -sigh- my heart ached. Can't help but tear. Because the cellist thought the waiter (for easy clarification) was mad at him--in reality, he was just jealous of all the girls he got with-- and because he started having dirty thoughts about him, he decided it's best if he left. The waiter then got really sad and you'd have to imagine a pretty emotional confession. I wasn't crying yet, but then it hit me y'know.

Another one is "Bokutachi wa Asu ni Mukatte Ikiru no Da" by Zaou Taishi. I think it's really cute, and it's pretty relatable, like when you have doubts in your relationships. Something like that. I seriously love this mangaka's style xD This had to do with the uke having super good luck, bringing their partner luck, but only if their feelings are mutual. He and his lover didn't know that, but their friend did. Their friend is such a lovable character! Because he was the third party, he sees everything clearer than those 2. And I love how much those 2 trusted him. One thing that I loved what he said was something along the lines of, luck doesn't fall upon you until you are truly happy without material goods. And I'm just like... :o

"Boku x Neko" was cute :D

Labels: cello mello, manga, mangaka, Zaou Taishi

I'm sure there was a day I should post about... must be when me & Jim met up with Leo.

Anyway, the other day, I met up with the others to go ice skating. It's been a while! I got a size too big, and I ended up falling on my butt, owie. LOL It's been awhile since I've ever fallen on the ice. And then I went to change my skates. They also invited Jessica's manager. She was small! I thought she was younger than us ahaha. But she's pretty cool. After ice skating we went to Seoul Soon Dubu Tofu House. We ate $101.98 worth. Woah. LOL. We had a cute waiter ;) He reminded me a little of the Jo twins, and someone else... Afterward Arianne took Louegie and his sister + her friend home, and the rest of us went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream. I went a little overboard with getting ice cream, a milkshake, and a mocha blast lol. I thought it might be a little awkward, but it was really fun talking with her manager. We laughed a lot, and I think the funniest topic we talked about was probably marriage xD

I managed to get in contact with the blogskin creator on IG. She says she doesn't have the photos anymore but they're still available on photobucket! If the photos are hers, she should still have access to her albums > < Waiting for response now...
I'm supposed to be in San Jose by today, but because my dad got afternoon shifts now, I couldn't OTL. It seems I can never get back... Also planned to have Jojo give Meimei her album after being dropped off... I also told my friend I could meet up with them Friday my gerd ToT
Also, my teeth is starting to hurt... I blame my dad because he wanted cheaper dental care instead of from my usual dentist, and now school is starting & there's nothing I can do.

I can't believe I spent 9 hours waiting in the emergency room to wait for tests and results for my dad's swollen foot. I was up since 7:45 in the morning and finally left the hospital around 3pm. We didn't all day until we left. These 2 nurses were really nice to me ^^

I got home and sorta knocked out. I just took like a 2 hour nap or something.
These 2 days have been cloudy but still hot. At least the nights got cooler.

Ugh, I want to edit my blog page but I really liked those pictures! But how do you contact someone who doesn't use their SNS anymore and you doubt their e-mails are active? ToT I hate Photobucket.

I've been lazy to update. Since watching BL dramas all day the past 2 weeks(?) I haven't posted, my wrists have been hurting. Maybe because of the sloppy posture I have when I type or rest my hands on my laptop. I took some breaks and tried to stretch my hands out and not use my laptop like that too often. Well, yeah, I got way too lazy to type. Right now, I'm typing on the PC with Jo's Razer keyboard. This clickity-clackity is so nice lol but so loud o.o Another reason is because... what the heck happened to my blog -.- Stupid photobucket changed their policies and now pictures can't be viewed by third-party unless the uploader's account is upgraded. What the fudge > > Would've been great if I saved the pictures beforehand... but who knew that was going to happen. Hmph.

----
~Trip to SF~
Anyway, It's been a lil' over a week since Monsta X's concert (17.07.21) ^^ Me & Jo took the Amtrak with Meimei, Mina, and Rinoa to the Westfield Mall in SF. It's them 3's first concert! Woop woop! To be honest, I really thought it might be a long ride, or even an awkward ride. Somehow we talked a lot about random things xD I got a little too excited talking about BL LOL them 2 actually watch! x'D And the ride didn't feel that long surprisingly. We hung out and "vlogged" around the mall. Meimei followed some fanpages on Twitter who were giving out concert freebies (or was she looking at the tags? haha) so we went out to grab some. It was sooo stressfullll LOL We weren't sure how we approach them for the freebies, but everyone we approached was really nice :D We found the people passing out the banners, but at the time, the staff was telling the line to scoot back, so they couldn't even hand it out to us because they were busy trying to move their stuff back. They just settled down but then were told to move the stuff back again. I helped them carry and move their box of stuff since they seemed to be struggling xD It was the first time that we ever attempted to grab any freebies. Well, also because we never got to the venue that early lol Because there was such a crowd/long line, people kept stopping to ask us what we were in line for/who was coming for a concert lol Yay Monsta X advertisement *insert laughing-crying emoji* After we got the banners, some other fans saw it and asked where they could get it. I felt like I was a volunteer lol guiding and telling people where the banners were.

~Pre-concert~
After that, it was almost 1pm. Jen and Jim came to pick me and Jo up, so we walked them 3 back to the mall first. (They were really close, yet so far away, from Minhyuk and them? I don't remember who was eating in the food court lol) And later they met up with Jessica, Arianne, and Louegie; while we went back to Jen's place. While Jo & Jen went on their lil' adventure, me & Jim went to play badminton with Chuck and his friend. I kept whining to Jim, saying why they keep stressing me out that day, meeting new people *insert laughing-crying emoji* It's been awhile since I played, even though I said I was just going to hit, I ended up going all out and turning into a bright red tomato. His friend really... sigh lol I don't know if it's because he was shy or whatever but I didn't know how to communicate with him? And I thought I was following the wrong doubles' rules or something because of him lol We didn't play too long; we left around 4:30 maybe? Jim's favorite "coach-nim" came around the time we were about to leave. I think I smashed/cleared a little too much ^^; Chuck took me and Jim home, and then we went out to eat. Chuck took Isaac and Jen drove us 4. We ate like we didn't in forever. (To be honest, I really didn't eat all day LOL I only had chips on the train x'D) Chuck dropped off Isaac before we got back; he was carrying a box of leftover Seagrams for us
[I never blogged about this, but a week or a few days before, we had a night of dinner and drinking. It was the most I've ever drank lol We weren't drunk, but my Asian glow was strong. They drank with me a lot because I seemed like the one who could hold their liquor x'D We watched a movie while the guys were getting sober. My head was starting to feel heavy? Maybe lol or I was just tired]
We didn't have time for me to shower since it was like 5:30 and we had to go catch the bus. There were some problems with traffic or something, so the bus was running late. We thought we were gonna be late. Luckily, we made it, and got in line with the other 3 who were already in line.

~Concert~
Getting into the venue was kinda fast. They had the "doorway" thingy security checks for metal/weapons? I sat with Jim, and Jo and Jen sat together. Me and Jim were way too tired LOL when the concert started, the bass started and it really hurt my heart. Seriously hurt ToT It took awhile for it to get adjusted. Happens all the time. We really didn't want to stand lol but you cannot not stand when everyone in front is standing up lol. We were right next to the stairway so we didn't really have anyone blocking our view of them, except the freakin' large speakers blocked the screen, so we couldn't really see the VCR. We cheered and whatnot for them, but when it came down to the VCRs or set change and everyone sat back down, me and Jim literally just slumped down in our seats, dead tired--partially from badminton too x'D I didn't take too many pics or videos, just little cuts, or videos of what I really wanted. I sooo regret not bringing my camcorder or Canon camera ToT they were allowedddd alsdkjf but to be honest, if I brought it, I would've been so engrossed in recording/taking pics that I wouldn't have been able to catch all the little things that happened on stage, from Kihyun and Wonho playing onstage during "I'll be there" I think, to Kihyun sneaking some candy into those hamster cheeks of his, to Wonho trying to aim for Shownu and got caught, to my poor bby Wonho hurting himself (I can't even remember when he hurt it, maybe before "Fighter"... it was some time after he took off his red sweater) Anyway, I was so worried about him, I literally had my eyes on him the whole time and then in "Fighter" there's a move where you "wave/worm" to the floor and you do a slight push-up. I was literally "nggggg" when he did it ToT (Later Jen said I.M. also hurt his arm) Me and Jim joined Jen & Jo in the next row since the 2 seats next to them coincidently remained empty, after their "red outfit" set. Me and Jim thought Jen and Jo were just eh about the concert bahaha they weren't screaming like we were xD they recorded a lot though I think. The special performances were <3 but too bad no Hyungwonnie ToT but Wonho be flirting with Minhyuk and Kihyun a lot LOL jk. The concert ended, and the staff closed the curtains too fast~ usually we'd take a pic with the stage, but then again, we had center seats for our past concerts lol

~Post-concert~
We met up outside and then we took the bus back to Jen's place. By the time we walked back, Meimei's mom came right on time lol It was already 11:30 maybe? They had a long ride back; we all showered and just knocked out. Of course, after we posted and everything. I think I still slept pretty late, considering I had to wash my hair etc.
----

The next morning, you can imagine I woke up really sore ToT I think afterward, we planned to film the cover, so we took a while with the outfits lol and then went out to Kukjae to buy some food. We had a picnic at a park(?) that we planned to film at, but it ended up being really windy, so we went to a different park. There happened to be a dog park. So many doggos~ and we hiked a bit. Went the wrong way so we went back xD Got to the place, attempted to dance/film, only to realize that in fact, we couldn't do it right LOL we might need to re-do it grrr. Then we grabbed Cool Tea Bar, went back to pack whatever we needed, and Jim drove me and Jo back home in Stockton. That night, Wonho had a V-live in SF I think. It looks like his arm is fine x'D he was doing such a weird dance ahaha like those inflatable guys.

Well, looks like this post drained my "memory" ability because I don't know what I need to post about lol I was supposed to go back to SJ tomorrow, but since friends want to hang out this week, I guess I'll go back the week after. These past 2 days, me and Jo danced like crazy, from the old Seagate. We're surprised we remember a lot, plus a lot that used to look hard, turned out to be really easy xD Side note, dad is nagging me about my tooth again ugh. Also, an update on Reno. It's gotten better. He's finished his medicine for a while now. 

Labels: concert, Monsta X

Wahhh cute~
I just finished "Hitorijime Boyfriend" & I thought it was kinda cute, but the commenters were saying the spin-off "Hitorijime My Hero" was better, plus an anime is being made of it. I guess My Hero could be better story-wise, but I liked Boyfriend too~ Ah, My Hero is still ongoing ToT but kya~ <3 I can't believe they really made the spin-off of the Ken's brother & friend x'D I wish there was more about Ken & Hasekura~

Currently at sisters' place in Daly City~ ugh, I'm hungry but I don't want to cook. I'll sleep away my hunger then.

Labels: Hitorijime Boyfriend, Hitorijime My Hero, manga

Ah, I really hate this pizza aftertaste. Steph stopped by today. Woops, she kinda guilt-tripped me haha when she asked what I did the whole time I was here, and she was like it's no different than the things I did at home ^^; Yeah, I really should get to work on some paintings...

Anyway, I just read a lot of BL these days right? And I find it so interesting to read readers' comments xD I always end up laughing at them, usually because I thought the same lol. But I think a lot of fujoshis have conflicted feelings. The yaoi world is pretty twisted, and like I said before, it uses content that regular mangas wouldn't use like rape, which is a common theme in the BL-world. And a lot of comments on these type of mangas always complain about it, like the mangakas are glorifying it or that it shouldn't be used because it's a very traumatizing topic etc. I don't know where I stand on this debate since it doesn't really affect me, plus I clearly know it's fiction. (Though some people, knowing it's fiction, still say it shouldn't be used)
I remember reading a comment, back when I was re-reading "Hidoku Shinaide" for the 2nd time, that said they liked how the mangaka wrote the plot to bring up the rape issue that would've been forgotten from the 1st volume, had the main character feel horrible/regretful, and he ends up acknowledging what a horrible thing he'd done and apologizing. And in this way, she makes a statement that rape is not okay at all. People were satisfied with that. A lot of people dislike the idea that in the yaoi world, after a rape, they still get together. Or something like that. 
Despite reading one that was rape and S/M, I thought that when the sadists showed their soft sides, it was too cute, but I'm also thinking, could he not have done that? It's like saying it's fine if people think we don't get along or if I'm abusing you, but it's my way of showing I love you? And that's what I mean by conflicted feelings >///< During it, they're (S) "abusive" but afterwards, they take super good care of you... but I mean, people who like those plays just... *shrugs*

At some point, I thought I liked cool, tsundere types haha but I don't think I can handle them when they're being mean to me LOL I may have an "ideal" but I don't think it'll be reality... something like that? ^^;

EDIT: I didn't feel like making a new post for just this one manga, but "The Killer" was really sweet haha. The last extra was so cute too when the uke said he liked strawberries and the seme said so seriously said "let's go hunt for them" & then talking about how nice it'd be to have children and he said "let's go hunting (which one do you like?)" lol because they were picking strawberries and there was a family with kids ahaha and the uke's like are you crazy ahahaha they're so adorable. The uke being the idiot he was, came out to his dad and his dad was so accepting and the seme took action too so looks like he met the dad too. The dad's so chill. Kanei Kei-sensei's art is... pretty interesting. 

Ah, I thought I was done with the BL-binge. Guess not haha. I re-read "Hidoku Shinaide" because it looks like another scanlation group picked up the project. I was going to download the manga, but the chapters were all over the place & I was getting confused lol I thought about getting a physical copy of "23:45" by Ohana, but it looks like there's only a German physical copy. Ooh Ohana-sensei did the art for other works. But I really like "23:45", such a nice story. I downloaded all of "Katekyo!" & will do "Elektel Delusion" when I finish reading that. "Hidoku Shinaide" still not complete. I wonder when it will... I wish it had an anime haha
"Gikei no Senaka" was pretty good. Simple.

I also spent quite a while with downloading music. Annoys me that I can't find some, & I have so much open, I get lazy downloading collections lol

Weird night. I was going to sleep early, but just lying in bed I can't sleep. When I finally that I was asleep, I hear buzzing and I wake up. It was not even 2am yet. I woke up this morning around 6:30ish, like what the heck, and my thumb was stiff and throbbing. Looks like I got bit by that dang mosquito... The foot also got bit too. It wasn't swollen, but I just scratched it a little and now it is...
I was going to shower, but LeAnn beat me to it. Guess I'll read "Elektel Delusion" keke I only ate a small dinner... I'll get salad tomorrow

EDIT: Ah, I sleep late again. Just finished "Elektel Delusion." I think "Hidoku Shinaide" because their problems are a lot more intense, but Shunpei/Fumi's problems always end up being easily forgiven. It just seemed very childish compared to Nemugasa/Maya's. My heart ached more in "Hidoku Shinaide" lol time to sleep! I think I'll be quite hungry tomorrow. At least I got that dang mosquito.

Labels: 23:45, Elektel Delusion, Hidoku Shinaide, manga

Guess who JUST splurged?
ToT I just bought "Macross Delta" artbook plus the artist's compile artbook of the mecha.
Oops, just went & finally got Kaori Wakamatsu's art book o.o

There are so many more artbooks I want! Let's make a list ^^;

• Amnesia
• Wand of Fortune
• Hakuoki
• Kamigami no Asobi
• Granblue Fantasy

Labels: artbook

Last night I couldn't sleep after reading "Itou-san" and its sequel. It really is a twistedly good read. I ended the night with that. But when I closed my eyes, I couldn't help but go through the manga again in my head. All these emotions became muddled and dark. It wasn't necessarily anger... it was something like frustration. It bothered me to the point that I felt like crying. I can't really explain, but I was like calm but the tears are flowing... Or like I had the urge to crush something, so I used whatever that annoying energy was and made a fist and gripped tight. It's like the frustration at myself for not being able to help the characters. The more I tried not to think about it, the more I'm thinking about it and the more it bothers me. At first it was just the tears flowing, but then it was me getting all choked up and having the urge to really cry.

The part that really got me crying was the innocent--turning lifeless--look of a 5 year old after the coercion of sex (at the end of it all). And then the fact that both him and his lover had a difficult time being together. The fact that, because of overdose of (forced) drugs, he had lost a lot of his memory, including his assassin lover and all they've been through. And all his lover could do, was visit him at work like a complete stranger and starting all over from the start. I just can't ToT

It was a really delayed emotional response. I was fine after finishing the manga, but turned out, it got me pretty pessimistic in the dark. I actually felt that this "darkness" took hold of my heart for the night... it took me a while to fall asleep. And this morning, it felt like I had abruptly opened my eyes and realizing it was morning; as if I hadn't slept, but I wasn't tired and knew I had slept. Checking the time, it was only like 8:30 in the morning, and I had woken up before my alarm, despite only having about 5 hours of sleep.
----
Today Jessie, Aliza, Bea, & Zairah came to SJ to look at apartments and they stopped by at our place. Around 12, Jen picked me up with Isaac and Chuck. We had Korean BBQ. Even though my last and only meal was at 12pm the other day, I wasn't able to eat a lot. I mean, it was good, but after a few pieces of meat, I didn't feel "well." It's like, when you eat junk food after eating healthy for a while. Something like that. Feels like I didn't eat a lot, but I was very full. I also went to pick up my CD; luckily it was still there. I wonder what would've happened if it was any longer... the guy was like "6/14? Hope it's still there..." I mean, it's only been a week ^^; We went to Valley Fair, and Isaac kept teasing Jen? Flirt flirt lol and sometimes he'd tease me along with her, like telling us to get our ears pierced xD Chuck would just push too, supporting Isaac ahaha I can tell! xD Isaac is like the type to straightforwardly drop flirtatious bombs as a joke, to hide the truth, if you know what I mean lol Got dessert at Paris Baguette, then we shopped around the Great Mall. I haven't really digested, and around 7, we went to get pho for dinner. I think I got more comfortable with them, though I'm still trying to get used to the way they joke around lol they mean no harm.

I'm so tired . I showered when I got home since I smelled like BBQ, and I guess I pulled some kind of muscle because when I tried to twist, my back would get stiff. I was tired earlier... maybe I should turn in for the day...

Labels: Itou-san, manga

All I've been doing lately is manga, anime, and drama. My muscles are all inactive, but then we went and cut the tree so there was that... lol
Currently in SJ right now. I've been getting a lot of sleep, though I still sleep super late. Last night I slept around 4:30am, but still managed to get up around 9ish, 10 without feeling really tired.
Saw Jonny at Thirst Tea today! haha
It feels kinda awkward being back in the apartment after a month. Tried to clean up, but that failed ahaha. Already skipping my meals lol I'm hungry but too lazy to make food, though mom already made me dinner, I'll just eat it tomorrow.
Alright, in all honesty, I went on a BL-manga binge. I couldn't help it since I read really short ones keke there are some things that I seriously just want to rant about so click the button to read some BL-manga fujoshi rants! WARNING: slightly R18 >//u\\< Don't read it if you think BL would make you uncomfy! Though I say it's R18, I typed it pretty safe LOL
Side note, a current BL I'm reading on Webtoons is "Crushed" and it's killing me because it's so cute (a little too much NSFW art but I mean, it's what you'd expect). Aside from that, the characters' backgrounds are so good, like, there's so much trauma it hurts. I'm not twisted okay LOL but I feel for the characters a lot. Just one word, and I could cry for them because my heart just aches for them....
Anywho!

Show/Hide

I wasn't even sure if I managed to convey what I was feeling, but those were some long summaries lol I didn't think I'd summarize so much, but without telling the story, one wouldn't really understand why I felt that way huh? Ahaha, last night when I was reading (whatever I was reading) I couldn't help but exclaim to Jo. You know, it's those parts in a movie where the character or something really eats at you and you're like ALAKSDJF lol

Hm, I was sure there was this manga that made me really cry... maybe it was just "Crushed"? Hm. Ah, I also thought of listing mangakas whose art (or stories) I really love, but it's already too late haha Like, I can remember the gist of the name, or recognize it when I see the art/name. I can only recall Yuu-sensei, Sakira-sensei?, Ohana-sensei, Nekota-sensei and Hinako-sensei. There's lots more though I can't recall anymore. Hm.. I remember the art of this one manga but I can't recall the name ToT also, there was another manga, but it's still ongoing so I stopped reading for now. Ah, I think I'll finish these other short ones. I can't bring myself to read long ones ahaha though I want to read "Elektel Delusion" xD
Ooh! "Brother Shuffle" was pretty cute; and I really liked "Lovers Doll."
(Mishima Kazuhiko-sensei too; I really want to finish "Sensei Punch"; Tennouji Mio, Otsuki Miu)

When I first got into BL, I used to be slightly ashamed. But then I was like, hey, there's nothing bad about being a fujoshi lol And it was also a relief when I didn't really hide the fact that I was one LOL

EDIT: "Itou-san" and it's sequel was a pretty good read... the evils of the world huh... goodnight.

Labels: mangaka, Sensei Punch

Super tired. Yesterday, me & Jim came back from Monterey trip with Alin, Tong, and Nancy. There was a little embarrassing... accident at the hotel ToT I cry... It came Sunday and it's pretty much over already today -.-
Anyway! The 1st day we spent a lot of time on the highway to Big Sur. We stopped at any shoulder that had a good view. Originally the plan was to get pictures of the Milky Way, but the road was closed I believe? and also it was so cloudy, and Alin said the moon was following the Milky Way that day. Since we were at the coast, the wind blowing was especially cold. I ended up getting quite a headache because of the wind. We took a lot of pretty pictures though! The 2nd day, we climbed rocks & also hopped on rocks in the shallow water to get to the island. We didn't make it to the big part of the island yet but the tide seemed to be rising so we were like "abort mission!" because we'd be stranded haha Dangerous because 3 of us had a camera x'D I gave mine to Tong because I trust him haha though he stepped on an unstable rock and his foot slipped into the water xD When we were going back he helped me jump across the water to the other rock by grabbing my hand. And when I jumped, he threw me a little too far LOL Jim had to catch me xD also, one of the squirrels came up to me because I pretended I had food. Its lil' nose touched my hand~ sho cute~ After breakfast, we went to Lovers' Point and Point Pinos (but the lighthouse was closed). Then to Mikasa in Lathrop for sushi, and Jen & Jo met us there. Alin lent me his lens; he had fun playing with my camera I guess? lol

I slept super late last night and had to wake up 4 or 5 hours later because we were taking Reno to the vet. Reno's walking better :D but his hind legs are still pretty shaky. Jim left after that. Me and Jo finished "Amnesia" and to be honest, it was pretty good. I liked it, though it was nothing special. Tip: watch the OVA first, maybe then you won't be as confused as we were LOL Then I started "Macross Delta." At first I thought, maybe I need to start from the very first Macross series, but it doesn't seem that way so far. I was just lazy to have to go through around 4, 5 seasons of Macross, so I just watched MD, since that's the most recent and also, the one I actually found Macross from. We are on episode 11; ep 8-9 I believe killed me ToT I cried so much... in ep 10, I was crying normally, the tears were quietly falling with a few sniffles and I'm pretty sure I was making an ugly face, but towards the end, I felt like I was going to start getting the really bad crying, like choked up and your lips go f-f-f-f-f and felt like I was going to start wailing. The songs gave me & Jo goosebumps though ahaha.

Side note, Lee texted me out of nowhere, when he was still at work I guess. But I didn't know because we were watching anime lol and what are the chances that I text him back right when he gets off work lol he "just [wanted] to know where [I was]." We didn't even talk that long, I feel bad LOL he's the one who ended the convo with "Lol okay" x'D I don't know if I was supposed to bring up a new topic; hey, he was the one who wanted to chat lol He lol'd a lot... xD He asked me "So you're really tired today?" and I thought that was an odd question to ask lol

Another side note. Dad is so annoying -.- he's nagging me about my dental crown now. He's the one who thinks it's too expensive to get a crown from my usual doctor and wants me to do a walk-in at the doctor they (parents) use because he'd charge half the price -.- He keeps saying it's not the price problem when it's obviously because of the price > > He keeps bringing up that Dr. Huang is overpricing the dental crown, and then says that we aren't taking care of our teeth more because we are getting crowns at such a young age. Because all he associates crowns with are old age and loss of teeth, mainly the age. When that's not even true; there are many reasons why someone would need a dental crown. But don't bother explaining to him; he definitely won't understand it at all. He'd just say "really? I don't know." So I'm saying I'll get it fixed later, not like it hurts or anything. And he's saying it's not about whether it hurts or not, it's "broken" so you should get it fixed, stop being so "stubborn" (quote marks because he said it in Canto, and I don't think the words give off the correct tone... but they're the right translations lol). Ugh, it's nothing to be annoyed about. I just hate his tone and just him nagging in general -.- Ugh, I just hate talking to him even though I'm trying to be as reasonable as my temper allows.... Ugh.

Oops, this turned out longer than I thought. My eyes are so tired from lack of sleep and crying haha so nights. Sad my HISTORY single "Lost" is literally "lost," probably at the post office because I looked at the tracking and it said "retention"... but I don't know why they didn't just put it in the mailbox, considering it shouldn't need a signature plus it's small enough. On the page it didn't say that the package would require a signature, like it did with my first package from Amazon JP....

Uwah it's getting late. I had a lot of things I wanted to say, but of course, by the time I opened my laptop, I'd forgotten ^^;

I guess main events...
Today we took Reno to the vet. It's rare for all 4 of us to be home haha Jo had an ACT test today. So Reno's lower spine is calcified, not exactly sure what that means but that there's pretty much no spacing between his vertebrae. His hind legs are pretty weak... for now we're trying to do what we can & hopefully it'll be better in a few weeks. He said it's 50/50, and probably not a chance that he'll be 100% recovered. I'm not sure what will happen later... if worse comes to worse, we might need to think about euthanization... Seeing his condition, mom was generous enough to let us take him to the vet in her CRV & then later we asked her to make a sling for him. Haha, mom says she doesn't like them, but she cares a lot for them! lol 真的是 "口是心非" 哈哈.

Ah, the title of this post?
I just finished a webtoon today, and I'm sad it's over. It was way too relatable in so many ways... It turned out really nice in the end, but the emotional rollercoaster was.... well, I'll let you think about that ^^ so why not click here? Togeun is.... me? Sometimes he is... ^^; River is completely relatable to pretty much every student. Just reading this webtoon made me think about life... not just mine, but everyone else's around me. I thought I'd say more, but I don't want to spoil hehe I just want to download it because it's a great motivational piece for me... and it's so good, I just want to make sure I'd have it all the time... heh \^///^/

ね、元気ですか、うさぎ？
I'm glad you seem to be figuring things out. Of course, we don't know how the future will be, but we hope for the best! Don't worry too much, and just keep looking forward! Hey! This goes for anyone else reading this, 'kay? ^^

On a side note, me & Jo are watching "Amnesia" and we are so confusedddd ahaha

Labels: Salty Studio

Just a quickie. It's almost a week since I was back home. Gained 3lbs sadly... but anyway, I've been lazy to post, plus I played Blade & Soul for like 2 or 3 days straight? So I've barely been on my laptop.

I'm on now since I was doing a DTA entry, and the host only gave us 2 days to draw them after the hold, but yeah. It's been a while since I did any digital work (or any art not relating to school, that is) and I don't even know where to start. I have something that I'm okay with, but as soon as I tried to do the eyes, it just looked so bad ToT I really lack confidence, and usually that stops me from ever completing anything. But when I do force myself to finish, it never looks good ahahaha but I know I need to get all those "bad drawings" out of me. In my defense, I haven't drawn anime-style in a long time aight? ^^;

I've been in a pretty good mood this week ahaha
Anyway, I spent today dealing with my art SNS because I want to start getting in the habit of sharing work etc. Also, I had fun with OBS and setting up stuff like a streamer LOL (though, no streaming ahaha)

Twitter: @denryu
Instagram: https://instagram.com/pinksheepart
Tumblr: ShockingSheep
Youtube: denryudraws
Picarto: pinksheepyunnie
Deviantart: pinksheepyunnie
Pixiv: pinksheepart

Labels: accounts, SNS, social media

Woop woop!
I've been pretty productive this semester so far, I think. Less procrastination definitely. I still need to hurry up & work on my portfolio.

Anyway, today was a good day! I think I talked to many different people, getting into groups (pairs, in one case) and talking to my classmates whom I don't usually talk to hahaha especially Johnny. He kept "scolding" me for holding the door open for the class lol at the third door he said, "Justina. Get away from the door" LOL I cannot x'D Afterward, in modeling, Heather asked me to be part of their group~ saves me trouble from needing to find one (also on Monday, because Callum kept going on about cheddar biscuits last Wednesday, Val brought some! They were yum ^^) I also kept seeing Jonathan (David & Kendall's friend who always dropped by ANI12 freshman year) because I've been working in the art building, so I greet him too. And then Michael from 51a was also friendly to talk to ^^ I'm always happy to greet Uli when he's working too :D

Today, as I was just sitting down to eat in the Student Union, this Asian dude approached me. I was so alert because I was worried it might be another "Joey" incident, but he ended up being really nice. He just needed to do a survey for his psych class. He told me he got rejected so many times and all I could say was "oh..." x'D I mean, I'm still shocked from this encounter lol I told him my name & he was like "oh, my name is Justin." Me: "Oh, ahaha... hahaha..." LOL

Minar's first day at Davis today! Her classes seem fun ^^ Have fun there usagi! Don't stress too much, like me x'D
ALSO (I keep forgetting this lol) I want to start recording some processes as I'm working so look out for short videos! Probably on my tumblr... thought about putting it on YT too but naw.

Purchases:
- BTS 2017 summer package (darn you stephhhh x'D)
-Stevie Hoang "Undiscovered"
-future* BTS - "Her" L

I'm broke. We've been eating out so much ToT & then I also want NU'EST W'S new album... :( & other stuff... recently just turned in a resumé to Gongcha buuuut, don't think I'ma get hired o.o should apply for the library job lol

I guess?
I'm sorta improving my work habits. I'm not procrastinating as much on ANI work (other areas still need work) but that's because I don't want to stay in the art building too long. Speaking of which, I just came back from there half an hour ago. It's really enjoyable working in the art building, but it's not like I really talk to anybody.

My laptop got fixed last week, and Michael from SuperTech Geek was really nice; had a cozy workstudio, it smelled nice too. He did song request, so we just listened to Kpop haha He was diggin' the music xD he's so chill. I got a lot more info about my laptop than the print shop could give me :p And he charged the same (at first he said $40, but then he said $30).

I died yesterday. I was stressing out over my resumé and cover letter for DSGN 100W 'cause I thought I did it wrong. But when I talked to him about it, he told me it was fine & accepted my work anyway. Even though he was being strict about the 10% similarity index on Turnitin lol He's actually pretty nice if you communicate well with him :p

Me and Steph have been eating out a lot ToT and she had me turn in my resumé to Gongcha. I did it :p Makes me want to apply to other jobs too lol Next Saturday I'll be helping Arlene's job set up for Saturday school. I get paid $40 xD woot woot.
Uh, I need a job... but I want an office one ahaha or retail... or Philz? hm...

I've been lazy to post. On top of that, my laptop's been dead for a week. That makes posting twice the trouble if I were to type from my phone :p Hopefully I get it fixed by this week...
In a way I'm disconnected... from my interests ahaha like keeping up with the new releases from TsukiPro and HnA/K2N/ALJ lol Maybe it's a good start to breaking that habit...

Because of my dead laptop, I was forced to work in the library and the art building. Well, I'm working in the art building no matter what. But I really miss drawing on my tablet~ No laptop = start working on my portfolio aka traditional paintings lol I've been pretty productive because of this I guess. Ugh, but I did accidentally oversleep for my 8am animation class. Speaking of classes, I did well in my DSGN100W class. I thought it'd be harder but it went totally fine! I did falter and stutter a bit, but I took it as talking to friends. And I think I did talk fast though ^^; I "uhh-ed" a bit much too hehe. Overall, I said the right things because my professor kept nodding! He's strict, but nice LOL.

I also got to go to Academic Coffee! The owner was really nice. I do need to cut down on my coffee intake though lol Finally figured out Lee Kangbin's creamart "recipe" lol well, it's hopefully that we figured it out. Gah, I couldn't stop thinking about it because I haven't done it yet. It's literally been running through my head in classes lol like buying the tools etc, though I keeping myself at bay since I can't confirm I can do it yet, I don't want to waste money.
SPEAKING OF MONEY. The freakin' bookstore ripped me off, and I'm salty about how much I needed to pay for a rental of a new textbook. I COULD'VE USED THAT MONEY FOR MY ESPRESSO MACHINE.

......
I'll get to changing these unviewable headers etc. Doesn't look like the creator is going to get those links for me...

So many releases. I just want to dance~ I think I'ma go to hip hop after Fire on the Fountain.
October has way too many comebacks too...

Yay! So I got a new phone from the Serramonte mall. My LED has been broken for a while now. Anyway this is just a quick update.

We were at the mall, & we went to the T-mobile kiosk (we got there first instead of the main store on the other side of the mall). The guy, Leo, who helped us out was super nice and friendly, and fun to talk to. He happened to be the manager LOL (looks Filipino?) At first, we were just looking. The Samsung Note 8 & S8+ weren't charged so I asked him if they had any that were charged that we could look at. He thought about it with a smile, then said "you can use mine" & I'm like o.o lol He said it was fine since it's his other phone. I'm highly doubting that lol so there I was, stressing like heck, because I didn't know how to use it & I was scared I was going to break it or click something or SOMETHING lol I'm sweatin' so much using it x'D We asked about the difference between the Note & the S8 & he said it was just the pen LOL & that it wasn't worth buying the Note for a $130 difference just for a pen. I asked, how's the camera in low light *short pause* "it's okay" he says LOL So I got the S8+ (his was an S8). And then he managed to convince us to get a case too (that case was damn expensive x'D but it's sturdy so I guess) & he asked what color & we were looking at them. He said it'd look like his black case. So when I said I'll get the black one he was like, "we're matching now" & me and Jen just laughed x'D he sure does know how to talk, sell, & flirt(?) ahaha he's funny. Pricey. & it took me forever to set it up the way I want it too. At least everything transferred over though xD even my wallpaper & lockscreen! Mind-blown x'D

Let's try to keep the phone longer than 2 years lol The phone was around $800, down-payment was $80 ($30/mo since we're financing), case was... $50. Oh yeah, he asked if we wanted a screen protector & I asked him if they had tempered & he shook his head & sorta whispered "I got mine from Amazon" LOL & earlier when he asked if we wanted a case, he showed us how sturdy their cases were by banging the side of his phone on the edge of the table really loudly LOL
Then me & Jen went to Nina's I think & ended up buying... quite a lot of stuff ^^; over $100. woops

Meant to run away from the 100 degree+ heat in SJ, but it's pretty hot here in Daly City too. Stockton is about the same as SJ. Still cooler than the apartment though :p
Jim got her ears pierced :o
Yesterday we had dinner at Fai Gor's place, & I had drinks & got sleepy haha apparently face got red after 1 bottle oops x'D I wanted dessert but it was late so there wasn't any close-by dessert stores. So we went to Safeway to buy cake, only to realize too late none of us brought money. So Chuck had to pay for my chocolate cake lol it's not even my bday & he had to pay for a cake I wanted LOL

Ugh, I have lots to do. I feel sorta disorganized--not yet procrastinating-- but feel like I have so much to do, don't know what to do first, etc. I want to sleep but... gots to work...

Ah, I forgot what to talk about...
Anyway, I had a late dinner of udon because I was busy trying to finish the felted pug for Arlene. & when I was done with that, I made my own envelope out of card stock because the Daiso message cards didn't come with them. Then I wrote her a 3-page letter. Hm, I like writing letters, but after I'm done it's like, it's so embarrassing or something. And then I seem to regret what I write sometimes?

Classes were fun today~ I'm talking to more of my classmates who I usually don't talk to.

A quick note, I saw Michael today, and it was awkward! sorta... and I don't know why my heart was racing after I said hi. And I don't know why I was so nervous. Dang, should've given him a hug lol. It wasn't as awkward as that other time. I felt like we both maybe slowed down our walking just a bit but ended up deciding not to stop and talk. I think if we did, it'd be even more awkward since he was with friends, and it's not like we had anything to talk about. 

We had our mandatory advising this week; tomorrow we have a whole major meeting. I wasn't sure of what track I wanted to take, but we have to decide by next year right? And after the meeting I think I came to a conclusion: go on the animation track, but also take a class in visual development and modeling. It seems like a very compromising plan. I couldn't decide what to take because I was interested in all of them, but after Raquel said we could take the higher up courses as electives, I was like, "animation." So... yup. Of course, I still need to pass my mid-portfolio... let's pray for that. I need to stop worrying about whether it'll go well or not and just do. 
Speaking of just do, I got an e-mail by a WayUp worker who looks at listings that match with profiles and e-mails them. He matched mine to a Kohl's art summer internship, and I got excited. Paid internship, free housing + transportation. BUT. It's in Wisconsin x'D It is just an internship though, so it seems fun to be out there. I don't know though.

I was just thinking... how late I was in finally making a decision in my future (ie. changing from 'pharmacy' to 'art' in junior year of high school). After that, it took me a while to figure out what exactly I want to do with this major... and so, everyone is bound to find their path sooner or later. Compared to everyone else, you might be a late bloomer, but the important thing is: you bloomed. 
So don't give up! <3

It's already been one week of school (aka 3 days lol).
This week is gonna feel long since I have class everyday... yes, even Friday. Really doing a lot this semester-- taking 5 classes lol and I even planned to take up the tutoring job my friend offered (though she quit there ^^; ) Hopefully I can handle them... I was at first really nervous for my 2 ANI classes in the morning, but they seem fun~ >w< I'm really nervous about my RTVF & my DSGN 100W class though... my 100W seems strict, just 1 short group presentation & lots of writing. RTVF's final is a group video production? *heaves a big sigh* Let's live ^^;

On a side note, my phone is green-screened again. Why didn't you last longer than 2 yearsss alskdjf

I've been on a roll doing digital art; well, not really lol I think I like digital painting more than cell-styled coloring that most artists use. I think I like the painterly look of art... well, I've come to like it 'cause it's fun painting & blending, but it's really hard x'D though I still want to learn both styles. But let me take a break; I kinda miss traditional lol

Did I mention I got all the books I ordered when I got back to the apartment?~ super happy about that~ Plus JJ Project's album, & my 2 Lily, Sayonara CDs~ I also got some more charm findings in bulk from eBay. They'll be here soon~ but I need more jump rings lol hm.
I want NU'EST's movies "Shiranai, Futari" but can you believe it's not available on iTunes anymore? Uhh, amazon JP has the 1st edition DVD box for purchase & available for shipping to US so I don't need to go through proxy buuuut it's almost $50 (plus, the only ver that has Eng subs. the regular edition only has Japanese subs). I'm thinking about it... but I'm waiting on NU'EST W's comeback/debut album in October, Shouta's & IVVY's release in October... this is why I'm really tempted to get a job LOL but I'm not brave enough *hides in a corner* There's a saying: if it's scary, it means it's time to jump. So I should just DO it, meaning, I should go fix up my resumé lol. I might go with my purchase of the drama after NU'EST W releases... I might share the drama on the condition that people show me their receipt of purchase of their album LOL PROMOTION AT ITS FINEST. Iunno... lolol & then depending on the drama (people said it's really good) I might get the Soundtrack disc... HM.
I just ripped "Bokura no Polaris" CD. I have a thing for voices LOL which is why I love seiyuus~ <3 Lily, Sayonara's voice though~ it's mainly him talking about... something. How I wish I could understand, & so I could read the booklet that came with it. It's supposed to be talking about his journey of his music, or like the process or something. I can only understand like one or 2 phrases. The heck x'D I seriously want to translate.... hnggg

Final question: can I work 2 jobs... HM lol

Damn... I didn't think I'd start reading again. But I did.
"Cello Mello" though... I think there were 5 short stories? They were so cute~ I definitely liked "Four Leaf Clover" but the final story, "Cello Mellow" was too cute. Actually, I think it's because it's been awhile, but -sigh- my heart ached. Can't help but tear. Because the cellist thought the waiter (for easy clarification) was mad at him--in reality, he was just jealous of all the girls he got with-- and because he started having dirty thoughts about him, he decided it's best if he left. The waiter then got really sad and you'd have to imagine a pretty emotional confession. I wasn't crying yet, but then it hit me y'know.

Another one is "Bokutachi wa Asu ni Mukatte Ikiru no Da" by Zaou Taishi. I think it's really cute, and it's pretty relatable, like when you have doubts in your relationships. Something like that. I seriously love this mangaka's style xD This had to do with the uke having super good luck, bringing their partner luck, but only if their feelings are mutual. He and his lover didn't know that, but their friend did. Their friend is such a lovable character! Because he was the third party, he sees everything clearer than those 2. And I love how much those 2 trusted him. One thing that I loved what he said was something along the lines of, luck doesn't fall upon you until you are truly happy without material goods. And I'm just like... :o

"Boku x Neko" was cute :D

Labels: cello mello, manga, mangaka, Zaou Taishi

I'm sure there was a day I should post about... must be when me & Jim met up with Leo.

Anyway, the other day, I met up with the others to go ice skating. It's been a while! I got a size too big, and I ended up falling on my butt, owie. LOL It's been awhile since I've ever fallen on the ice. And then I went to change my skates. They also invited Jessica's manager. She was small! I thought she was younger than us ahaha. But she's pretty cool. After ice skating we went to Seoul Soon Dubu Tofu House. We ate $101.98 worth. Woah. LOL. We had a cute waiter ;) He reminded me a little of the Jo twins, and someone else... Afterward Arianne took Louegie and his sister + her friend home, and the rest of us went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream. I went a little overboard with getting ice cream, a milkshake, and a mocha blast lol. I thought it might be a little awkward, but it was really fun talking with her manager. We laughed a lot, and I think the funniest topic we talked about was probably marriage xD

I managed to get in contact with the blogskin creator on IG. She says she doesn't have the photos anymore but they're still available on photobucket! If the photos are hers, she should still have access to her albums > < Waiting for response now...
I'm supposed to be in San Jose by today, but because my dad got afternoon shifts now, I couldn't OTL. It seems I can never get back... Also planned to have Jojo give Meimei her album after being dropped off... I also told my friend I could meet up with them Friday my gerd ToT
Also, my teeth is starting to hurt... I blame my dad because he wanted cheaper dental care instead of from my usual dentist, and now school is starting & there's nothing I can do.

I can't believe I spent 9 hours waiting in the emergency room to wait for tests and results for my dad's swollen foot. I was up since 7:45 in the morning and finally left the hospital around 3pm. We didn't all day until we left. These 2 nurses were really nice to me ^^

I got home and sorta knocked out. I just took like a 2 hour nap or something.
These 2 days have been cloudy but still hot. At least the nights got cooler.

Ugh, I want to edit my blog page but I really liked those pictures! But how do you contact someone who doesn't use their SNS anymore and you doubt their e-mails are active? ToT I hate Photobucket.

I've been lazy to update. Since watching BL dramas all day the past 2 weeks(?) I haven't posted, my wrists have been hurting. Maybe because of the sloppy posture I have when I type or rest my hands on my laptop. I took some breaks and tried to stretch my hands out and not use my laptop like that too often. Well, yeah, I got way too lazy to type. Right now, I'm typing on the PC with Jo's Razer keyboard. This clickity-clackity is so nice lol but so loud o.o Another reason is because... what the heck happened to my blog -.- Stupid photobucket changed their policies and now pictures can't be viewed by third-party unless the uploader's account is upgraded. What the fudge > > Would've been great if I saved the pictures beforehand... but who knew that was going to happen. Hmph.

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~Trip to SF~
Anyway, It's been a lil' over a week since Monsta X's concert (17.07.21) ^^ Me & Jo took the Amtrak with Meimei, Mina, and Rinoa to the Westfield Mall in SF. It's them 3's first concert! Woop woop! To be honest, I really thought it might be a long ride, or even an awkward ride. Somehow we talked a lot about random things xD I got a little too excited talking about BL LOL them 2 actually watch! x'D And the ride didn't feel that long surprisingly. We hung out and "vlogged" around the mall. Meimei followed some fanpages on Twitter who were giving out concert freebies (or was she looking at the tags? haha) so we went out to grab some. It was sooo stressfullll LOL We weren't sure how we approach them for the freebies, but everyone we approached was really nice :D We found the people passing out the banners, but at the time, the staff was telling the line to scoot back, so they couldn't even hand it out to us because they were busy trying to move their stuff back. They just settled down but then were told to move the stuff back again. I helped them carry and move their box of stuff since they seemed to be struggling xD It was the first time that we ever attempted to grab any freebies. Well, also because we never got to the venue that early lol Because there was such a crowd/long line, people kept stopping to ask us what we were in line for/who was coming for a concert lol Yay Monsta X advertisement *insert laughing-crying emoji* After we got the banners, some other fans saw it and asked where they could get it. I felt like I was a volunteer lol guiding and telling people where the banners were.

~Pre-concert~
After that, it was almost 1pm. Jen and Jim came to pick me and Jo up, so we walked them 3 back to the mall first. (They were really close, yet so far away, from Minhyuk and them? I don't remember who was eating in the food court lol) And later they met up with Jessica, Arianne, and Louegie; while we went back to Jen's place. While Jo & Jen went on their lil' adventure, me & Jim went to play badminton with Chuck and his friend. I kept whining to Jim, saying why they keep stressing me out that day, meeting new people *insert laughing-crying emoji* It's been awhile since I played, even though I said I was just going to hit, I ended up going all out and turning into a bright red tomato. His friend really... sigh lol I don't know if it's because he was shy or whatever but I didn't know how to communicate with him? And I thought I was following the wrong doubles' rules or something because of him lol We didn't play too long; we left around 4:30 maybe? Jim's favorite "coach-nim" came around the time we were about to leave. I think I smashed/cleared a little too much ^^; Chuck took me and Jim home, and then we went out to eat. Chuck took Isaac and Jen drove us 4. We ate like we didn't in forever. (To be honest, I really didn't eat all day LOL I only had chips on the train x'D) Chuck dropped off Isaac before we got back; he was carrying a box of leftover Seagrams for us
[I never blogged about this, but a week or a few days before, we had a night of dinner and drinking. It was the most I've ever drank lol We weren't drunk, but my Asian glow was strong. They drank with me a lot because I seemed like the one who could hold their liquor x'D We watched a movie while the guys were getting sober. My head was starting to feel heavy? Maybe lol or I was just tired]
We didn't have time for me to shower since it was like 5:30 and we had to go catch the bus. There were some problems with traffic or something, so the bus was running late. We thought we were gonna be late. Luckily, we made it, and got in line with the other 3 who were already in line.

~Concert~
Getting into the venue was kinda fast. They had the "doorway" thingy security checks for metal/weapons? I sat with Jim, and Jo and Jen sat together. Me and Jim were way too tired LOL when the concert started, the bass started and it really hurt my heart. Seriously hurt ToT It took awhile for it to get adjusted. Happens all the time. We really didn't want to stand lol but you cannot not stand when everyone in front is standing up lol. We were right next to the stairway so we didn't really have anyone blocking our view of them, except the freakin' large speakers blocked the screen, so we couldn't really see the VCR. We cheered and whatnot for them, but when it came down to the VCRs or set change and everyone sat back down, me and Jim literally just slumped down in our seats, dead tired--partially from badminton too x'D I didn't take too many pics or videos, just little cuts, or videos of what I really wanted. I sooo regret not bringing my camcorder or Canon camera ToT they were allowedddd alsdkjf but to be honest, if I brought it, I would've been so engrossed in recording/taking pics that I wouldn't have been able to catch all the little things that happened on stage, from Kihyun and Wonho playing onstage during "I'll be there" I think, to Kihyun sneaking some candy into those hamster cheeks of his, to Wonho trying to aim for Shownu and got caught, to my poor bby Wonho hurting himself (I can't even remember when he hurt it, maybe before "Fighter"... it was some time after he took off his red sweater) Anyway, I was so worried about him, I literally had my eyes on him the whole time and then in "Fighter" there's a move where you "wave/worm" to the floor and you do a slight push-up. I was literally "nggggg" when he did it ToT (Later Jen said I.M. also hurt his arm) Me and Jim joined Jen & Jo in the next row since the 2 seats next to them coincidently remained empty, after their "red outfit" set. Me and Jim thought Jen and Jo were just eh about the concert bahaha they weren't screaming like we were xD they recorded a lot though I think. The special performances were <3 but too bad no Hyungwonnie ToT but Wonho be flirting with Minhyuk and Kihyun a lot LOL jk. The concert ended, and the staff closed the curtains too fast~ usually we'd take a pic with the stage, but then again, we had center seats for our past concerts lol

~Post-concert~
We met up outside and then we took the bus back to Jen's place. By the time we walked back, Meimei's mom came right on time lol It was already 11:30 maybe? They had a long ride back; we all showered and just knocked out. Of course, after we posted and everything. I think I still slept pretty late, considering I had to wash my hair etc.
----

The next morning, you can imagine I woke up really sore ToT I think afterward, we planned to film the cover, so we took a while with the outfits lol and then went out to Kukjae to buy some food. We had a picnic at a park(?) that we planned to film at, but it ended up being really windy, so we went to a different park. There happened to be a dog park. So many doggos~ and we hiked a bit. Went the wrong way so we went back xD Got to the place, attempted to dance/film, only to realize that in fact, we couldn't do it right LOL we might need to re-do it grrr. Then we grabbed Cool Tea Bar, went back to pack whatever we needed, and Jim drove me and Jo back home in Stockton. That night, Wonho had a V-live in SF I think. It looks like his arm is fine x'D he was doing such a weird dance ahaha like those inflatable guys.

Well, looks like this post drained my "memory" ability because I don't know what I need to post about lol I was supposed to go back to SJ tomorrow, but since friends want to hang out this week, I guess I'll go back the week after. These past 2 days, me and Jo danced like crazy, from the old Seagate. We're surprised we remember a lot, plus a lot that used to look hard, turned out to be really easy xD Side note, dad is nagging me about my tooth again ugh. Also, an update on Reno. It's gotten better. He's finished his medicine for a while now. 

Labels: concert, Monsta X

Wahhh cute~
I just finished "Hitorijime Boyfriend" & I thought it was kinda cute, but the commenters were saying the spin-off "Hitorijime My Hero" was better, plus an anime is being made of it. I guess My Hero could be better story-wise, but I liked Boyfriend too~ Ah, My Hero is still ongoing ToT but kya~ <3 I can't believe they really made the spin-off of the Ken's brother & friend x'D I wish there was more about Ken & Hasekura~

Currently at sisters' place in Daly City~ ugh, I'm hungry but I don't want to cook. I'll sleep away my hunger then.

Labels: Hitorijime Boyfriend, Hitorijime My Hero, manga

Ah, I really hate this pizza aftertaste. Steph stopped by today. Woops, she kinda guilt-tripped me haha when she asked what I did the whole time I was here, and she was like it's no different than the things I did at home ^^; Yeah, I really should get to work on some paintings...

Anyway, I just read a lot of BL these days right? And I find it so interesting to read readers' comments xD I always end up laughing at them, usually because I thought the same lol. But I think a lot of fujoshis have conflicted feelings. The yaoi world is pretty twisted, and like I said before, it uses content that regular mangas wouldn't use like rape, which is a common theme in the BL-world. And a lot of comments on these type of mangas always complain about it, like the mangakas are glorifying it or that it shouldn't be used because it's a very traumatizing topic etc. I don't know where I stand on this debate since it doesn't really affect me, plus I clearly know it's fiction. (Though some people, knowing it's fiction, still say it shouldn't be used)
I remember reading a comment, back when I was re-reading "Hidoku Shinaide" for the 2nd time, that said they liked how the mangaka wrote the plot to bring up the rape issue that would've been forgotten from the 1st volume, had the main character feel horrible/regretful, and he ends up acknowledging what a horrible thing he'd done and apologizing. And in this way, she makes a statement that rape is not okay at all. People were satisfied with that. A lot of people dislike the idea that in the yaoi world, after a rape, they still get together. Or something like that. 
Despite reading one that was rape and S/M, I thought that when the sadists showed their soft sides, it was too cute, but I'm also thinking, could he not have done that? It's like saying it's fine if people think we don't get along or if I'm abusing you, but it's my way of showing I love you? And that's what I mean by conflicted feelings >///< During it, they're (S) "abusive" but afterwards, they take super good care of you... but I mean, people who like those plays just... *shrugs*

At some point, I thought I liked cool, tsundere types haha but I don't think I can handle them when they're being mean to me LOL I may have an "ideal" but I don't think it'll be reality... something like that? ^^;

EDIT: I didn't feel like making a new post for just this one manga, but "The Killer" was really sweet haha. The last extra was so cute too when the uke said he liked strawberries and the seme said so seriously said "let's go hunt for them" & then talking about how nice it'd be to have children and he said "let's go hunting (which one do you like?)" lol because they were picking strawberries and there was a family with kids ahaha and the uke's like are you crazy ahahaha they're so adorable. The uke being the idiot he was, came out to his dad and his dad was so accepting and the seme took action too so looks like he met the dad too. The dad's so chill. Kanei Kei-sensei's art is... pretty interesting. 

Ah, I thought I was done with the BL-binge. Guess not haha. I re-read "Hidoku Shinaide" because it looks like another scanlation group picked up the project. I was going to download the manga, but the chapters were all over the place & I was getting confused lol I thought about getting a physical copy of "23:45" by Ohana, but it looks like there's only a German physical copy. Ooh Ohana-sensei did the art for other works. But I really like "23:45", such a nice story. I downloaded all of "Katekyo!" & will do "Elektel Delusion" when I finish reading that. "Hidoku Shinaide" still not complete. I wonder when it will... I wish it had an anime haha
"Gikei no Senaka" was pretty good. Simple.

I also spent quite a while with downloading music. Annoys me that I can't find some, & I have so much open, I get lazy downloading collections lol

Weird night. I was going to sleep early, but just lying in bed I can't sleep. When I finally that I was asleep, I hear buzzing and I wake up. It was not even 2am yet. I woke up this morning around 6:30ish, like what the heck, and my thumb was stiff and throbbing. Looks like I got bit by that dang mosquito... The foot also got bit too. It wasn't swollen, but I just scratched it a little and now it is...
I was going to shower, but LeAnn beat me to it. Guess I'll read "Elektel Delusion" keke I only ate a small dinner... I'll get salad tomorrow

EDIT: Ah, I sleep late again. Just finished "Elektel Delusion." I think "Hidoku Shinaide" because their problems are a lot more intense, but Shunpei/Fumi's problems always end up being easily forgiven. It just seemed very childish compared to Nemugasa/Maya's. My heart ached more in "Hidoku Shinaide" lol time to sleep! I think I'll be quite hungry tomorrow. At least I got that dang mosquito.

Labels: 23:45, Elektel Delusion, Hidoku Shinaide, manga

Guess who JUST splurged?
ToT I just bought "Macross Delta" artbook plus the artist's compile artbook of the mecha.
Oops, just went & finally got Kaori Wakamatsu's art book o.o

There are so many more artbooks I want! Let's make a list ^^;

• Amnesia
• Wand of Fortune
• Hakuoki
• Kamigami no Asobi
• Granblue Fantasy

Labels: artbook

Last night I couldn't sleep after reading "Itou-san" and its sequel. It really is a twistedly good read. I ended the night with that. But when I closed my eyes, I couldn't help but go through the manga again in my head. All these emotions became muddled and dark. It wasn't necessarily anger... it was something like frustration. It bothered me to the point that I felt like crying. I can't really explain, but I was like calm but the tears are flowing... Or like I had the urge to crush something, so I used whatever that annoying energy was and made a fist and gripped tight. It's like the frustration at myself for not being able to help the characters. The more I tried not to think about it, the more I'm thinking about it and the more it bothers me. At first it was just the tears flowing, but then it was me getting all choked up and having the urge to really cry.

The part that really got me crying was the innocent--turning lifeless--look of a 5 year old after the coercion of sex (at the end of it all). And then the fact that both him and his lover had a difficult time being together. The fact that, because of overdose of (forced) drugs, he had lost a lot of his memory, including his assassin lover and all they've been through. And all his lover could do, was visit him at work like a complete stranger and starting all over from the start. I just can't ToT

It was a really delayed emotional response. I was fine after finishing the manga, but turned out, it got me pretty pessimistic in the dark. I actually felt that this "darkness" took hold of my heart for the night... it took me a while to fall asleep. And this morning, it felt like I had abruptly opened my eyes and realizing it was morning; as if I hadn't slept, but I wasn't tired and knew I had slept. Checking the time, it was only like 8:30 in the morning, and I had woken up before my alarm, despite only having about 5 hours of sleep.
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Today Jessie, Aliza, Bea, & Zairah came to SJ to look at apartments and they stopped by at our place. Around 12, Jen picked me up with Isaac and Chuck. We had Korean BBQ. Even though my last and only meal was at 12pm the other day, I wasn't able to eat a lot. I mean, it was good, but after a few pieces of meat, I didn't feel "well." It's like, when you eat junk food after eating healthy for a while. Something like that. Feels like I didn't eat a lot, but I was very full. I also went to pick up my CD; luckily it was still there. I wonder what would've happened if it was any longer... the guy was like "6/14? Hope it's still there..." I mean, it's only been a week ^^; We went to Valley Fair, and Isaac kept teasing Jen? Flirt flirt lol and sometimes he'd tease me along with her, like telling us to get our ears pierced xD Chuck would just push too, supporting Isaac ahaha I can tell! xD Isaac is like the type to straightforwardly drop flirtatious bombs as a joke, to hide the truth, if you know what I mean lol Got dessert at Paris Baguette, then we shopped around the Great Mall. I haven't really digested, and around 7, we went to get pho for dinner. I think I got more comfortable with them, though I'm still trying to get used to the way they joke around lol they mean no harm.

I'm so tired . I showered when I got home since I smelled like BBQ, and I guess I pulled some kind of muscle because when I tried to twist, my back would get stiff. I was tired earlier... maybe I should turn in for the day...

Labels: Itou-san, manga

All I've been doing lately is manga, anime, and drama. My muscles are all inactive, but then we went and cut the tree so there was that... lol
Currently in SJ right now. I've been getting a lot of sleep, though I still sleep super late. Last night I slept around 4:30am, but still managed to get up around 9ish, 10 without feeling really tired.
Saw Jonny at Thirst Tea today! haha
It feels kinda awkward being back in the apartment after a month. Tried to clean up, but that failed ahaha. Already skipping my meals lol I'm hungry but too lazy to make food, though mom already made me dinner, I'll just eat it tomorrow.
Alright, in all honesty, I went on a BL-manga binge. I couldn't help it since I read really short ones keke there are some things that I seriously just want to rant about so click the button to read some BL-manga fujoshi rants! WARNING: slightly R18 >//u\\< Don't read it if you think BL would make you uncomfy! Though I say it's R18, I typed it pretty safe LOL
Side note, a current BL I'm reading on Webtoons is "Crushed" and it's killing me because it's so cute (a little too much NSFW art but I mean, it's what you'd expect). Aside from that, the characters' backgrounds are so good, like, there's so much trauma it hurts. I'm not twisted okay LOL but I feel for the characters a lot. Just one word, and I could cry for them because my heart just aches for them....
Anywho!

Show/Hide

I wasn't even sure if I managed to convey what I was feeling, but those were some long summaries lol I didn't think I'd summarize so much, but without telling the story, one wouldn't really understand why I felt that way huh? Ahaha, last night when I was reading (whatever I was reading) I couldn't help but exclaim to Jo. You know, it's those parts in a movie where the character or something really eats at you and you're like ALAKSDJF lol

Hm, I was sure there was this manga that made me really cry... maybe it was just "Crushed"? Hm. Ah, I also thought of listing mangakas whose art (or stories) I really love, but it's already too late haha Like, I can remember the gist of the name, or recognize it when I see the art/name. I can only recall Yuu-sensei, Sakira-sensei?, Ohana-sensei, Nekota-sensei and Hinako-sensei. There's lots more though I can't recall anymore. Hm.. I remember the art of this one manga but I can't recall the name ToT also, there was another manga, but it's still ongoing so I stopped reading for now. Ah, I think I'll finish these other short ones. I can't bring myself to read long ones ahaha though I want to read "Elektel Delusion" xD
Ooh! "Brother Shuffle" was pretty cute; and I really liked "Lovers Doll."
(Mishima Kazuhiko-sensei too; I really want to finish "Sensei Punch"; Tennouji Mio, Otsuki Miu)

When I first got into BL, I used to be slightly ashamed. But then I was like, hey, there's nothing bad about being a fujoshi lol And it was also a relief when I didn't really hide the fact that I was one LOL

EDIT: "Itou-san" and it's sequel was a pretty good read... the evils of the world huh... goodnight.

Labels: mangaka, Sensei Punch

Super tired. Yesterday, me & Jim came back from Monterey trip with Alin, Tong, and Nancy. There was a little embarrassing... accident at the hotel ToT I cry... It came Sunday and it's pretty much over already today -.-
Anyway! The 1st day we spent a lot of time on the highway to Big Sur. We stopped at any shoulder that had a good view. Originally the plan was to get pictures of the Milky Way, but the road was closed I believe? and also it was so cloudy, and Alin said the moon was following the Milky Way that day. Since we were at the coast, the wind blowing was especially cold. I ended up getting quite a headache because of the wind. We took a lot of pretty pictures though! The 2nd day, we climbed rocks & also hopped on rocks in the shallow water to get to the island. We didn't make it to the big part of the island yet but the tide seemed to be rising so we were like "abort mission!" because we'd be stranded haha Dangerous because 3 of us had a camera x'D I gave mine to Tong because I trust him haha though he stepped on an unstable rock and his foot slipped into the water xD When we were going back he helped me jump across the water to the other rock by grabbing my hand. And when I jumped, he threw me a little too far LOL Jim had to catch me xD also, one of the squirrels came up to me because I pretended I had food. Its lil' nose touched my hand~ sho cute~ After breakfast, we went to Lovers' Point and Point Pinos (but the lighthouse was closed). Then to Mikasa in Lathrop for sushi, and Jen & Jo met us there. Alin lent me his lens; he had fun playing with my camera I guess? lol

I slept super late last night and had to wake up 4 or 5 hours later because we were taking Reno to the vet. Reno's walking better :D but his hind legs are still pretty shaky. Jim left after that. Me and Jo finished "Amnesia" and to be honest, it was pretty good. I liked it, though it was nothing special. Tip: watch the OVA first, maybe then you won't be as confused as we were LOL Then I started "Macross Delta." At first I thought, maybe I need to start from the very first Macross series, but it doesn't seem that way so far. I was just lazy to have to go through around 4, 5 seasons of Macross, so I just watched MD, since that's the most recent and also, the one I actually found Macross from. We are on episode 11; ep 8-9 I believe killed me ToT I cried so much... in ep 10, I was crying normally, the tears were quietly falling with a few sniffles and I'm pretty sure I was making an ugly face, but towards the end, I felt like I was going to start getting the really bad crying, like choked up and your lips go f-f-f-f-f and felt like I was going to start wailing. The songs gave me & Jo goosebumps though ahaha.

Side note, Lee texted me out of nowhere, when he was still at work I guess. But I didn't know because we were watching anime lol and what are the chances that I text him back right when he gets off work lol he "just [wanted] to know where [I was]." We didn't even talk that long, I feel bad LOL he's the one who ended the convo with "Lol okay" x'D I don't know if I was supposed to bring up a new topic; hey, he was the one who wanted to chat lol He lol'd a lot... xD He asked me "So you're really tired today?" and I thought that was an odd question to ask lol

Another side note. Dad is so annoying -.- he's nagging me about my dental crown now. He's the one who thinks it's too expensive to get a crown from my usual doctor and wants me to do a walk-in at the doctor they (parents) use because he'd charge half the price -.- He keeps saying it's not the price problem when it's obviously because of the price > > He keeps bringing up that Dr. Huang is overpricing the dental crown, and then says that we aren't taking care of our teeth more because we are getting crowns at such a young age. Because all he associates crowns with are old age and loss of teeth, mainly the age. When that's not even true; there are many reasons why someone would need a dental crown. But don't bother explaining to him; he definitely won't understand it at all. He'd just say "really? I don't know." So I'm saying I'll get it fixed later, not like it hurts or anything. And he's saying it's not about whether it hurts or not, it's "broken" so you should get it fixed, stop being so "stubborn" (quote marks because he said it in Canto, and I don't think the words give off the correct tone... but they're the right translations lol). Ugh, it's nothing to be annoyed about. I just hate his tone and just him nagging in general -.- Ugh, I just hate talking to him even though I'm trying to be as reasonable as my temper allows.... Ugh.

Oops, this turned out longer than I thought. My eyes are so tired from lack of sleep and crying haha so nights. Sad my HISTORY single "Lost" is literally "lost," probably at the post office because I looked at the tracking and it said "retention"... but I don't know why they didn't just put it in the mailbox, considering it shouldn't need a signature plus it's small enough. On the page it didn't say that the package would require a signature, like it did with my first package from Amazon JP....

Uwah it's getting late. I had a lot of things I wanted to say, but of course, by the time I opened my laptop, I'd forgotten ^^;

I guess main events...
Today we took Reno to the vet. It's rare for all 4 of us to be home haha Jo had an ACT test today. So Reno's lower spine is calcified, not exactly sure what that means but that there's pretty much no spacing between his vertebrae. His hind legs are pretty weak... for now we're trying to do what we can & hopefully it'll be better in a few weeks. He said it's 50/50, and probably not a chance that he'll be 100% recovered. I'm not sure what will happen later... if worse comes to worse, we might need to think about euthanization... Seeing his condition, mom was generous enough to let us take him to the vet in her CRV & then later we asked her to make a sling for him. Haha, mom says she doesn't like them, but she cares a lot for them! lol 真的是 "口是心非" 哈哈.

Ah, the title of this post?
I just finished a webtoon today, and I'm sad it's over. It was way too relatable in so many ways... It turned out really nice in the end, but the emotional rollercoaster was.... well, I'll let you think about that ^^ so why not click here? Togeun is.... me? Sometimes he is... ^^; River is completely relatable to pretty much every student. Just reading this webtoon made me think about life... not just mine, but everyone else's around me. I thought I'd say more, but I don't want to spoil hehe I just want to download it because it's a great motivational piece for me... and it's so good, I just want to make sure I'd have it all the time... heh \^///^/

ね、元気ですか、うさぎ？
I'm glad you seem to be figuring things out. Of course, we don't know how the future will be, but we hope for the best! Don't worry too much, and just keep looking forward! Hey! This goes for anyone else reading this, 'kay? ^^

On a side note, me & Jo are watching "Amnesia" and we are so confusedddd ahaha

Labels: Salty Studio

Just a quickie. It's almost a week since I was back home. Gained 3lbs sadly... but anyway, I've been lazy to post, plus I played Blade & Soul for like 2 or 3 days straight? So I've barely been on my laptop.

I'm on now since I was doing a DTA entry, and the host only gave us 2 days to draw them after the hold, but yeah. It's been a while since I did any digital work (or any art not relating to school, that is) and I don't even know where to start. I have something that I'm okay with, but as soon as I tried to do the eyes, it just looked so bad ToT I really lack confidence, and usually that stops me from ever completing anything. But when I do force myself to finish, it never looks good ahahaha but I know I need to get all those "bad drawings" out of me. In my defense, I haven't drawn anime-style in a long time aight? ^^;

Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me, what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts or at least we are getting there.

I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^

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