 konnichiwa~
Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/
find me:
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Panic/Anxiety/Stress attack
written on Tuesday, July 26, 2016 @ 3:29 PM ✈
So last night I decided to take a look at my stitches, and they weren't as scary as I thought. They were pretty small, just a knot. I was rinsing with saltwater when I felt the left stitches come out. One side of it had come out and the other was still inside the gums. At first I was worried bc I thought it was supposed to "dissolve" so I hurriedly looked it up. Apparently, dissolvable stitches mean it will dissolve or just come out. However, I also read some other stuff which kinda made me nervous. Like how stitches usually last from a week to months, but mine came out less than a week. But if it comes out, it just means my gums are healing well. I tried to pull it out, but it was so far back and I was holding my phone for flashlight too. My heart was racing. So many things ran through my head, going wrong. When I finally pulled it out--I didn't feel anything--but I felt so relieved. But the pressure of having to enduring that "fright" suddenly let itself go. I started to feel my hands "pulse" (hard to explain) and feel heavy, my head started to feel heavy, my ears started to ring, and I was about to hyperventilate. I still had to brush my teeth so I had to endure it. I tried to hurriedly brush my teeth so I can get to bed. While brushing my teeth, my eyes started to cloud over. More like that moment when you get dizzy and see stars, except I didn't see stars. Everything had a slightly darker tint? but I could still see. I guess it feels the same way when I felt like I was gonna faint after taking two shots, one on each arm, except I think that was bc I was trying to brave the shots so much that I held in my breath or maybe it was the pressure. I don't even know anymore. Either way, after I finished my heavy body walked out to get a drink a water, and I just got in bed. Still breathing a bit too much, and slightly shaking(?), I had to do deep breathing to calm myself down. I was really pale after pulling out the stitch. And that's the first time I even think I look pale as a ghost.
I'm fine now, but the socket hasn't closed yet. There's still an ugly hole so I have to be careful food doesn't accumulate in there, so I'ma eat even less and drink more water 'til it's closed I guess. I've dropped so much weight... but I haven't exercised really. My right side still a little sore and tight.
Yesterday I watched Gymnasium Baby. Uhm, it reminded me of Free! and so you can imagine there wasn't much but a kiss. Still liked it, but it was really meh. lol
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Panic/Anxiety/Stress attack
written on Tuesday, July 26, 2016 @ 3:29 PM ✈
So last night I decided to take a look at my stitches, and they weren't as scary as I thought. They were pretty small, just a knot. I was rinsing with saltwater when I felt the left stitches come out. One side of it had come out and the other was still inside the gums. At first I was worried bc I thought it was supposed to "dissolve" so I hurriedly looked it up. Apparently, dissolvable stitches mean it will dissolve or just come out. However, I also read some other stuff which kinda made me nervous. Like how stitches usually last from a week to months, but mine came out less than a week. But if it comes out, it just means my gums are healing well. I tried to pull it out, but it was so far back and I was holding my phone for flashlight too. My heart was racing. So many things ran through my head, going wrong. When I finally pulled it out--I didn't feel anything--but I felt so relieved. But the pressure of having to enduring that "fright" suddenly let itself go. I started to feel my hands "pulse" (hard to explain) and feel heavy, my head started to feel heavy, my ears started to ring, and I was about to hyperventilate. I still had to brush my teeth so I had to endure it. I tried to hurriedly brush my teeth so I can get to bed. While brushing my teeth, my eyes started to cloud over. More like that moment when you get dizzy and see stars, except I didn't see stars. Everything had a slightly darker tint? but I could still see. I guess it feels the same way when I felt like I was gonna faint after taking two shots, one on each arm, except I think that was bc I was trying to brave the shots so much that I held in my breath or maybe it was the pressure. I don't even know anymore. Either way, after I finished my heavy body walked out to get a drink a water, and I just got in bed. Still breathing a bit too much, and slightly shaking(?), I had to do deep breathing to calm myself down. I was really pale after pulling out the stitch. And that's the first time I even think I look pale as a ghost.
I'm fine now, but the socket hasn't closed yet. There's still an ugly hole so I have to be careful food doesn't accumulate in there, so I'ma eat even less and drink more water 'til it's closed I guess. I've dropped so much weight... but I haven't exercised really. My right side still a little sore and tight.
Yesterday I watched Gymnasium Baby. Uhm, it reminded me of Free! and so you can imagine there wasn't much but a kiss. Still liked it, but it was really meh. lol
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^
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: afeeqah azhar, 19 march, malaysian .
: hidenobu suzuki, + follow