 konnichiwa~
Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/
find me:
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Rollercoaster
written on Wednesday, November 30, 2016 @ 1:37 AM ✈
Wow. I think I'm understanding myself more?
I feel like my emotions/mental state become a rollercoaster when I get too stressed. I won't try to explain it, but I think you'll understand. Just yesterday I was being as gray as Branch in Trolls. I had no motivation to do anything and feeling pathetic (refer to previous post, I think). Basically, I was in a temporary state of depression. I ended up skipping school all day. (The week goes by faster when I skip Monday LOL) I woke up this morning and still wasn't feeling great, but not too bad at the same time. I was a little less stressed, I guess? I still didn't feel like doing any work, less so than yesterday though. So I worked on my render during History. The sphere was coming along well. I continued at home and finally finished. I wasn't feeling bad about it; it was decent. Then I thought to myself, why couldn't I finish this? Here I thought it wasn't even gonna look correct, yet it looks decent now. Understand that I was worried that it wouldn't look good so I didn't feel like finishing it, aka I was delaying the 'bad result.'
I suddenly had a surge of motivation to work despite having so little time, which resulted from being distracted with things and not feeling all that motivated. So it really wasn't a "surge," but it was a higher peak than yesterday.
Remember that slump I had for about a week? I don't remember mentioning this, but it was followed by a week of sudden motivation, workaholicism. And it eventually evened out to a regular--as regular as can be--work schedule. Then work piled again, the stress came again, and of course the depression started creeping in again.
I told Mina that all my positive attitude was used up last year. I still manage to squeeze out enough to last me a week, but apparently, I run out then and gotta wait a week to replenish, eh?
But anyway, my mood and mental state improved by the end of the day. I'm still anxious about tomorrow, but I don't have that "I-don't-want-to-go-to-class" attitude; that tends to be a sure warning sign that I am super stressed and need a break. I guess this is the 2nd time this semester? Or third hm...
I'm also forcing myself to stop worrying about what other people think too. If they judge, then they judge quietly, and it has nothing to do with me. I'm just living life my way.
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Rollercoaster
written on Wednesday, November 30, 2016 @ 1:37 AM ✈
Wow. I think I'm understanding myself more?
I feel like my emotions/mental state become a rollercoaster when I get too stressed. I won't try to explain it, but I think you'll understand. Just yesterday I was being as gray as Branch in Trolls. I had no motivation to do anything and feeling pathetic (refer to previous post, I think). Basically, I was in a temporary state of depression. I ended up skipping school all day. (The week goes by faster when I skip Monday LOL) I woke up this morning and still wasn't feeling great, but not too bad at the same time. I was a little less stressed, I guess? I still didn't feel like doing any work, less so than yesterday though. So I worked on my render during History. The sphere was coming along well. I continued at home and finally finished. I wasn't feeling bad about it; it was decent. Then I thought to myself, why couldn't I finish this? Here I thought it wasn't even gonna look correct, yet it looks decent now. Understand that I was worried that it wouldn't look good so I didn't feel like finishing it, aka I was delaying the 'bad result.'
I suddenly had a surge of motivation to work despite having so little time, which resulted from being distracted with things and not feeling all that motivated. So it really wasn't a "surge," but it was a higher peak than yesterday.
Remember that slump I had for about a week? I don't remember mentioning this, but it was followed by a week of sudden motivation, workaholicism. And it eventually evened out to a regular--as regular as can be--work schedule. Then work piled again, the stress came again, and of course the depression started creeping in again.
I told Mina that all my positive attitude was used up last year. I still manage to squeeze out enough to last me a week, but apparently, I run out then and gotta wait a week to replenish, eh?
But anyway, my mood and mental state improved by the end of the day. I'm still anxious about tomorrow, but I don't have that "I-don't-want-to-go-to-class" attitude; that tends to be a sure warning sign that I am super stressed and need a break. I guess this is the 2nd time this semester? Or third hm...
I'm also forcing myself to stop worrying about what other people think too. If they judge, then they judge quietly, and it has nothing to do with me. I'm just living life my way.
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^
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: afeeqah azhar, 19 march, malaysian .
: hidenobu suzuki, + follow