Really quickly: entitlement is believing you are an exception to everyone else.

In Chapter 3, Manson goes over entitlement, and what that means with self-esteem and exceptionalism. I used to think that entitlement only applied to people who were selfish, who believed they were above others and deserved the royal treatment. But no. It works both ways. 

I'm awesome and the rest of you all suck, so I deserve special treatment.

I suck and the rest of you are all awesome, so I deserve special treatment. 

As Manson puts it: "Opposite mindset on the outside, but the same selfish creamy core in the middle."

And apparently, entitled people will switch between these 2 mindsets. I can see that.

He also talks about how technology and social media made entitlement even worse, by being triggered and offended by anything and everything. Social media, the news, etc -- they only show the world the best of the best. The extraordinary people. Which makes us ordinary people feel worthless because we didn't achieve the same greatness. And so because the "ordinary" cannot achieve the "extraordinary," it is better to stay at the extreme other end, below average, because you would then still be special (version 2 from above right?).

People who become exceptional, become exceptional not because they strive to be extraordinary; Manson says they're "obsessed with improvement." Which makes sense: they don't put a ceiling on their goals/work/skills, rather, they believe they are not the best -- that they are just average -- and can get even better. I think this is the growth mindset.

I really liked the ending of this chapter because he includes easy-to-digest metaphors about the ordinary, and that the ordinary are what actually matters.

Labels: book review, Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

 Last night I read Chapter 2 of the book, but didn't get to do my "report."

It took me awhile to understand what Manson meant when he titled this chapter "happiness is a problem." It's not that happiness is literally the problem, rather, to be happy is to have and solve problems. The key is solving these problems. 

Just as our pain tolerance is a biological warning to protect us, our life problems are there to help guide us in life. And once certain problems are solved, it will just to lead to other problems, albeit "better" problems. One good example he brought up was: "People without a family suffer because they have no family. People with family suffer because of their family." I think this is the same as saying, people want what others have or don't have. We humans are never satisfied with what we have, hence the search for happiness that is probably a dead-end for the most part.

A few phrases that I think summarize it all:

• Who you are is defined by what you're willing to struggle for.
• Our struggles determine our successes.

If you want the reward, if you want to reach the top of the mountain, you'd have to be willing to suffer for it. And humans hate suffering, so it's much easier to choose the easy path. This includes denial and avoidance. But then, why cry and whine that you didn't get what you want? You didn't want to work it for it, so what makes you think you should've gotten the reward?

Denying that you have any problems, or blaming others or circumstances for your problems or inability to be solved, are ways to "feel good" in the moment, but surely the problems weren't solved and are bound to come back to haunt you.

Labels: book review, Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

Happy belated new year wheee!

Started reading "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" again, and here's my takeaway from the first chapter, Don't Try.

People, like me, think indifference means to not care about anything -- void of emotions, to say the least. Yet Mark Manson (the author) says that's not it, that we're not trying to emulate a psychopath; a psychopath is someone who is void of emotions and meaning. The indifference he is talking about is 2 things: (1) "Being comfortable with being different" -- I don't want to go into his examples, but basically people who seem (or act) indifferent are the ones who care the most, and I mean caring-about-what-other-people-think, kind of care; and (2) choosing what to care about -- truly being indifferent is to put your time, effort, and emotions into things that matter, like getting mad for your family and friends, not because the barista made your drink wrong. Things like that.

And that's something Robin points out a lot: why do you get mad at the little things? I'm sure there would be "woke" people who get annoyed that others brush off "the little things," like sure, sometimes these "little things" mean a lot to someone in some ways, but I think most times, they truly are just little things -- minor inconveniences. Another thing Manson brings up is, people who get riled up easily usually (1) don't like that things didn't go their way or (2) don't have other more important things to give their f*cks to. A lot of other things he said makes me think, huh, that must be me.

The book basically gives insight on life, to achieve a happy life (he does say that the book isn't a guide to being happy and stuff like that), but I mention "happy life" because I wanted to touch base on social media and glorified lives, first-world problems, etc. He says this really well, but to not quote him and to summarize his point, we are always looking for the thing that will bring us happiness and make our lives amazing, but in this pursuit, we make our lives miserable because the "thing that will bring happiness" just reminds us of everything our life currently lacks. Does that make sense? And the growth of social media just exacerbates this problem even more.

At the end of this chapter he says that the book will "teach you...how to lose and let go," and honestly, life is difficult when you hold on to all the negativity, right?

Labels: book review, Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

 Really quickly: entitlement is believing you are an exception to everyone else.

In Chapter 3, Manson goes over entitlement, and what that means with self-esteem and exceptionalism. I used to think that entitlement only applied to people who were selfish, who believed they were above others and deserved the royal treatment. But no. It works both ways. 

I'm awesome and the rest of you all suck, so I deserve special treatment.

I suck and the rest of you are all awesome, so I deserve special treatment. 

As Manson puts it: "Opposite mindset on the outside, but the same selfish creamy core in the middle."

And apparently, entitled people will switch between these 2 mindsets. I can see that.

He also talks about how technology and social media made entitlement even worse, by being triggered and offended by anything and everything. Social media, the news, etc -- they only show the world the best of the best. The extraordinary people. Which makes us ordinary people feel worthless because we didn't achieve the same greatness. And so because the "ordinary" cannot achieve the "extraordinary," it is better to stay at the extreme other end, below average, because you would then still be special (version 2 from above right?).

People who become exceptional, become exceptional not because they strive to be extraordinary; Manson says they're "obsessed with improvement." Which makes sense: they don't put a ceiling on their goals/work/skills, rather, they believe they are not the best -- that they are just average -- and can get even better. I think this is the growth mindset.

I really liked the ending of this chapter because he includes easy-to-digest metaphors about the ordinary, and that the ordinary are what actually matters.

Labels: book review, Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

 Last night I read Chapter 2 of the book, but didn't get to do my "report."

It took me awhile to understand what Manson meant when he titled this chapter "happiness is a problem." It's not that happiness is literally the problem, rather, to be happy is to have and solve problems. The key is solving these problems. 

Just as our pain tolerance is a biological warning to protect us, our life problems are there to help guide us in life. And once certain problems are solved, it will just to lead to other problems, albeit "better" problems. One good example he brought up was: "People without a family suffer because they have no family. People with family suffer because of their family." I think this is the same as saying, people want what others have or don't have. We humans are never satisfied with what we have, hence the search for happiness that is probably a dead-end for the most part.

A few phrases that I think summarize it all:

• Who you are is defined by what you're willing to struggle for.
• Our struggles determine our successes.

If you want the reward, if you want to reach the top of the mountain, you'd have to be willing to suffer for it. And humans hate suffering, so it's much easier to choose the easy path. This includes denial and avoidance. But then, why cry and whine that you didn't get what you want? You didn't want to work it for it, so what makes you think you should've gotten the reward?

Denying that you have any problems, or blaming others or circumstances for your problems or inability to be solved, are ways to "feel good" in the moment, but surely the problems weren't solved and are bound to come back to haunt you.

Labels: book review, Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

Happy belated new year wheee!

Started reading "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" again, and here's my takeaway from the first chapter, Don't Try.

People, like me, think indifference means to not care about anything -- void of emotions, to say the least. Yet Mark Manson (the author) says that's not it, that we're not trying to emulate a psychopath; a psychopath is someone who is void of emotions and meaning. The indifference he is talking about is 2 things: (1) "Being comfortable with being different" -- I don't want to go into his examples, but basically people who seem (or act) indifferent are the ones who care the most, and I mean caring-about-what-other-people-think, kind of care; and (2) choosing what to care about -- truly being indifferent is to put your time, effort, and emotions into things that matter, like getting mad for your family and friends, not because the barista made your drink wrong. Things like that.

And that's something Robin points out a lot: why do you get mad at the little things? I'm sure there would be "woke" people who get annoyed that others brush off "the little things," like sure, sometimes these "little things" mean a lot to someone in some ways, but I think most times, they truly are just little things -- minor inconveniences. Another thing Manson brings up is, people who get riled up easily usually (1) don't like that things didn't go their way or (2) don't have other more important things to give their f*cks to. A lot of other things he said makes me think, huh, that must be me.

The book basically gives insight on life, to achieve a happy life (he does say that the book isn't a guide to being happy and stuff like that), but I mention "happy life" because I wanted to touch base on social media and glorified lives, first-world problems, etc. He says this really well, but to not quote him and to summarize his point, we are always looking for the thing that will bring us happiness and make our lives amazing, but in this pursuit, we make our lives miserable because the "thing that will bring happiness" just reminds us of everything our life currently lacks. Does that make sense? And the growth of social media just exacerbates this problem even more.

At the end of this chapter he says that the book will "teach you...how to lose and let go," and honestly, life is difficult when you hold on to all the negativity, right?

Labels: book review, Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck