 konnichiwa~
Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/
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How to love
written on Sunday, January 1, 2017 @ 2:54 AM ✈
Haha it reminds me of B2ST's song xD
Sigh such a dilemma... hey! It's already 2017. I can't believe... will I still be single or not this year I wonder... so I hung out with Robin again & once again the question arises. Do I go for it or not? How will long-distance be... to be honest it's scary; not of being cheated on or anything like that, but I can't say exactly what--being in a relationship I mean. He told me he's kinda worried about LD because he'll get anxious. He also said he'll be less clingy but really? Lol
Ah, Jobee knows for sure her feelings but I don't. It's difficult because I used to have feelings... if it was someone I never had feelings for, it's easy to say no. I'm really confused right now. I don't know if I'm just hesitant or just want to be in a relationship already (in a way desperate LOL or just want to be loved, however you want to put it, so I try to be extra careful that it's not that deciding for me).
Wait... I just reread that and it didn't sound like two different reasons lol
Anywho, I felt like I resisted less this time around because he finally asked directly. I guess I'm also worried how awkward it'd be if there was a status change. I know it's probably hard on him right now too since I still didn't give him an answer... ahh! There's just so much to worry about?? Like especially with my parents. I think you can see where this is going. Even if I did agree to go out, it'd be pretty stressful and uncomfortable I think... at the same time I don't want that to be the deciding factor either. I also thought into the future, & I guess I'm also just scared of that? But he seriously gives me so much attention (maybe a little too much lol) and what girl wouldn't want that? And I guess I feel "loved"?
In the end, I don't know what I want.
Quick summary of the day too.
Hung out with part of POLARIS! Late gifts were given out etc. Gah, I'm a little guilty about not giving everyone gifts > < & I rushed because of last minute packing, which also led to forgetting things I was going to bring xD I wished we had talked about more stuff but I guess it was just a little awkward lol After T4, Mina went home & Meimei took me, Steph, & Jessica to the mall. We walked around B&N for a while, but since it was holiday hours, they closed early. I wanted to talk to them about my Robin dilemma but it was really hard to say what my dilemma was. I didn't even know what I wanted to ask. It was also an awkward topic. When it was only me & Jessica, I sort of managed to tell her. It wasn't until after I hung out with Robin that I messaged them about what I was thinking--what I wanted to discuss with them--and what happened. In the end, the decision was with me of course OTL.
Gah, I love my friends so much and I wish I could do so much more for them. Happy New Years to my loves! It's already 2017~ Let's hope for the best~
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How to love
written on Sunday, January 1, 2017 @ 2:54 AM ✈
Haha it reminds me of B2ST's song xD
Sigh such a dilemma... hey! It's already 2017. I can't believe... will I still be single or not this year I wonder... so I hung out with Robin again & once again the question arises. Do I go for it or not? How will long-distance be... to be honest it's scary; not of being cheated on or anything like that, but I can't say exactly what--being in a relationship I mean. He told me he's kinda worried about LD because he'll get anxious. He also said he'll be less clingy but really? Lol
Ah, Jobee knows for sure her feelings but I don't. It's difficult because I used to have feelings... if it was someone I never had feelings for, it's easy to say no. I'm really confused right now. I don't know if I'm just hesitant or just want to be in a relationship already (in a way desperate LOL or just want to be loved, however you want to put it, so I try to be extra careful that it's not that deciding for me).
Wait... I just reread that and it didn't sound like two different reasons lol
Anywho, I felt like I resisted less this time around because he finally asked directly. I guess I'm also worried how awkward it'd be if there was a status change. I know it's probably hard on him right now too since I still didn't give him an answer... ahh! There's just so much to worry about?? Like especially with my parents. I think you can see where this is going. Even if I did agree to go out, it'd be pretty stressful and uncomfortable I think... at the same time I don't want that to be the deciding factor either. I also thought into the future, & I guess I'm also just scared of that? But he seriously gives me so much attention (maybe a little too much lol) and what girl wouldn't want that? And I guess I feel "loved"?
In the end, I don't know what I want.
Quick summary of the day too.
Hung out with part of POLARIS! Late gifts were given out etc. Gah, I'm a little guilty about not giving everyone gifts > < & I rushed because of last minute packing, which also led to forgetting things I was going to bring xD I wished we had talked about more stuff but I guess it was just a little awkward lol After T4, Mina went home & Meimei took me, Steph, & Jessica to the mall. We walked around B&N for a while, but since it was holiday hours, they closed early. I wanted to talk to them about my Robin dilemma but it was really hard to say what my dilemma was. I didn't even know what I wanted to ask. It was also an awkward topic. When it was only me & Jessica, I sort of managed to tell her. It wasn't until after I hung out with Robin that I messaged them about what I was thinking--what I wanted to discuss with them--and what happened. In the end, the decision was with me of course OTL.
Gah, I love my friends so much and I wish I could do so much more for them. Happy New Years to my loves! It's already 2017~ Let's hope for the best~
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^
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: afeeqah azhar, 19 march, malaysian .
: hidenobu suzuki, + follow