 konnichiwa~
Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/
find me:
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Hiking for acorns
written on Monday, February 12, 2018 @ 2:14 AM ✈
I'm super sleepy right now. I just finished my PHYS homework.
Today was a fun day though. Facebook group for class --> looking for acorns. Katherine said there were acorns at Alum Rock Park, so Andy said he'll drive there and "Feel free to come. Or I'll just go by myself. That's cool. I won't be sad or anything." AW. I didn't want him to go pick acorns for the whole class by himself, but I didn't know him to go with him. I waited for someone to reply but only Haruka commented, to say thanks and to remember to get them acorns LOL I was freakin' out before I posted because I though it'd be weird since we don't "know" each other? but I finally commented, after Haruka, that I'll come along, so I met him at the art quad. (He didn't let me know he parked, so he ended up waiting for me at the quad ^^; )
On the way to the quad, he messaged me to let me know he was there and said "Looks like it'll just be us two hopefully that's ok?" and I was like awww so nice! That was so polite of him to make sure it was okay for me for us two to be alone. Because we literally "don't know" each other. He tried to make a joke during the message, but I didn't get it because I didn't know the guy he said and he was like "Don't worry about it/ that was a super dumb joke." I sent a blushing Pusheen sticker and said "Sorry LOL" and he said "It's ok/ It wasn't witty/ Or even smart/ I just say things" and I was like ALKSDJF as I was walking to him.
He got up to greet me and was like "Justina?" Like, uh, yah? LOL I just nodded and we shook hands. Me in my head, why so formal LOL he said "I don't think we really met" when we shook hands and I said, "mhm, just in the same classes." And he just started talking as we walked to the parking garage. Uh, I realized he walks fast LOLOL I thought it'd be awkward, but the walk there was okay because he talked a lot lol I guess the only awkward thing was I would try to say something, but it'd accidentally cut him off LOL We got to the garage, walked up the stairs. To the 5th floor. WHY WE NO TAKE THE ELEVATOR. But anyway, as we walked up the stairs, he said that after he posted it, it sounded creepy. He's "that" guy, who tells someone to hey, come sit in a car with a stranger to go some place. My response: "It's not like you're gonna kidnap me" (I think). And he said just saying it like that sounded creepy LOL and people saw the post but didn't respond and he was worried people might think that lol but I said, "Naw, I don't think people thought that." He said that Haruka replied so it kinda made up for it and that he was glad that I offered to go along. awww.
Andy has a really nice 2-door Scion. Short, but nice haha. So the "rules of his car," as he put it, is that the passenger has to navigate lol On the spiral drive out the garage, we were talking about how he doesn't look like an otaku LOL because he apologized for listening to his anime music, and I had to tell him I listen to it too. And he mentioned Vocaloid, which is how we got to how he didn't look like an otaku LOL When we were almost there, we were following behind motorcyclists, and he brought up how he loves motorcycles and stuff.
When we got to the park, it was literally trails? So we ended up hiking. It was about 3 hours with him hiking up the trail, so that's too much to cover. Just know, he talked a lot LOL his excuse was because he had milk tea and 3 coffees yesterday, and he slept late. (Oh, he was just getting out of his sickness). When he said he wanted milk tea afterward, I said he just had it yesterday and he said he can't enjoy yesterday's milk tea today lol and then he suddenly dropped the bomb that he and his girlfriend broke up. It was a long-winded correlation, but it was because he was saying he likes to live in the present, and the analogy was, when he and his girlfriend broke up his friends told him at least you have your memories with her and he said he doesn't want the "memories," but to be in the present (with her, I guess?)
It was a fun hike. At the beginning we just talked a lot about anime lol Like what kind of anime we watched etc. He was thirsty because he forgot water. He was like "there's running water! should I drink it?" LOL (On the drive I told him he should've told me to bring him water and he was like, "I can't just say hey stranger, bring me water. And I said I would've still did it, and he said "well, I didn't know you, but now I know." LOL) Luckily, we managed to find a water fountain on the way. We also picked up a large pinecone for him, which I carried. On the hike up he said, "I'm glad you can walk." Me: ?? lol and he mentioned how Gia and Celine would've been out of breath already ahaha. I told him we weren't dressed for hiking, nor did we have water LOL We ended up going to the top, climbed a large rock to get a better view of the sun setting. I climbed the rock after him, but I was wearing my sweater on the front of me, and it was really windy so the hood kept flying in my view. Plus it was difficult climbing with a pinecone. There wasn't much footing near the top, and I was too scared to continue, so I just crouched. We were still talking, and then we had eye contact, and I said "I'm scared" so he had to come over to help me up LOL He literally had to pull me up. Uhm, I don't think I trusted anyone else with my life except Tong LOL
We saw quail on the hike~ <3
Anyway, we went back to a tree we passed to look for acorns. Our first time passed it, we saw only caps. So on our way back down, we really looked hard for them. And we found a few, but most were babies. I found most of them LOL A lady asked us what we were looking for lol I let Andy do the talking. Anyway, he was looking out for me when I was climbing the lil' incline up to the tree, and I'd pass the acorns to him. The sun was setting and he said we should go before it gets to dark. So we finished gathering and started going down. On the way down we spotted a decaying bird wing with feathers attached. I think I kinda told him I want a feather? I forgot how lol but I told him I had notepad paper; I gave it to him so he plucked a feather and we put it in the pinecone/acorn bag. He went for another one; this one was attached to the wing bone still. So I had to help him snap the tip. I tried to step on the bone but missed lol it was on a decline. I had to support my weight by holding on to his shoulder, and I stepped down on the wing bone and he pulled the feather off. Afterward I gave him hand sanitizer because he touched the wing LOL We finally got down, and he drove us to Sweet Corner. He asked me where I wanted to go but I said he could choose. We took the wrong freeway LOL aigoo, I always panic and give wrong directions lol but we got back on track. At one point, I said "how are you driving 40-45mph but it feels so fast? xD" and he goes into explaining his car and speed and race cars lol. He said acceleration on turns feel faster than acceleration going straight; it was true. Sheesh, his turns were really sharp, even though they really weren't. Sharp as in, I had to resist the force? I don't know how to explain lol but it was fun; his car was manual.
On the way there, he was saying he was getting sleepy, and that the mountain was really tiring. I said something along the lines of "crashing from the caffeine" lol At Sweet Corner, there were cakes~ but I thought we were going to grab our drinks and go. Nope. He said "let's unwind for a bit." So we just sat there for a while. He finished his Thai Tea really fast and I said that, and he said "I'm thirsty AF" LOL He looked at his watch and said "we should at 7, or whenever you want." And when I asked him why me, he said it's because he chose the place, so I should choose when to leave. OY, decisions decisions. Since I didn't want him to get home too late, I just said "let's go" after a minute or two. And then he dropped me off at home, and I took home the pinecone and acorns. (AH! I forgot to tell him to drive safe...)
His heater was... really good. Like, it was so hot. Because he was recovering from his sickness, he was still cold after the hike (it was really windy on that rock) and I guess I just warm up faster than he does? And he turned on his heater. There was a fan blowing right in my face and it was so hot. I got home with a red face I think. It's a really good heater because it was only on 1, and on the lowest heat setting but it was still so freakin' hot LOL His car is still cool :p
I think he waited a bit for me to get to the stairs before leaving. Or not. Lol I didn't turn back.
Genai had commented an hour later, like she would've joined if she saw the post, but I enjoyed our time alone lol because we got to know each other a lot. I wonder if we'll go back to being awkward classmates... lol
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Also, I got home and got a notification from Lee. He "waved" to me on Messenger. So I waved back. I thought it may have been an accident that he waved so I said "?? lol" and then he was like "how you been?"
Me in my head: ??
But I answer casually. And when I said "hbu?" he said he got back from a "being in a drama." Note that I'm still hyper from hiking with Andy so my brain is overthinking so many scenarios right. Like, I know Lee wouldn't message me after so long unless something's up, and I really hoped it didn't have anything to do with his girlfriend. The fact that he mentioned 'drama' felt like he wanted to talk about it so I asked "should i ask bout this drama?" and he said "you should/ lol/ but it's up to you." So, I let him vent. (At first he asked if I was still in SJ. I hope that wasn't a precursor for "meeting up" if I was in Stockton kind of thing :p ) So then he dropped the bomb: "My girlfriend just broke up with me lol" (By the way, it was a stupid reason she decided to break up with him) It's a delicate subject right? I mean, I don't know. It's only delicate depending on the person, so I was really cautious that I wasn't helping him make decisions. I just asked the questions. After a few other messages I asked, "And how are you feeling?" He said "Idk/ I'm supposed to be heartbroken but somehow I feel happy" so like, hey, if you feelin' good, then the break up is no big deal LOL and that's what I told him after I asked if he wanted to get back with her. He said "Definitely/ No/ Lol" I said "Ahh, in that case, is no big deal?" followed up by "Dude, i feel bad, like I'm telling you not to get with her/ But like, whether you want to really depends on you" and he flat out said "I don't want to"
Me in my head: then why are you messaging me...??? Like, I thought he wanted to vent because he was sad or something. And he was super positive afterward... LOL weird...
Also, because I haven't talked to him in so long, I found that his many uses of "lol" were odd because I still remember him as a person who doesn't really use lols or stickers/emojis. Usually I'm the one who spams stickers, but he ended our convo with a (:p) sticker and a thumbs up. Like... is this the Lee I know? hahaha Anyway, I just find it really weird that the unexpected messages from Lee tend to be timed around when I finish hanging out/messaging with a guy LOL (alone sometimes at that o.o) Like, if you read previous posts where he's involved, it's either I just messaged Robin/Deilys/Victor or I just came back from hanging with them or something LOL
Weird...
Ah the post ended up being super long because so many things happened > < I tried to eliminate stuff, but, haha, no can do when I want to write it all. Andy messaged me after he got home, I guess, and after talking about the acorns, I asked if he washed his hands. He said "Uhhh/ If we're thinking fourth dimensionally/ I already did when I get* home" LOL I have no idea what he meant but I just said "LOL ok good/ Now go get some rest :p dont get sick again" (nagging him already LOL) and he tried to joke around again but it flew over my head. Again LOL Then I showed him my taped feather later that said "Erm, dont really need to clean it right? ^^; " and he replied "LOL/ Bruh that dirty A F" LOLOL he so fun to talk toooo, I really wish we could stay, y'know, friends.
Lol, anyway, I should really sleep. Darn my eventful day LOL
Steph napped liked around 12:30am... I should wake her to shower after I wash up.
*his actual typo :p
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Hiking for acorns
written on Monday, February 12, 2018 @ 2:14 AM ✈
I'm super sleepy right now. I just finished my PHYS homework.
Today was a fun day though. Facebook group for class --> looking for acorns. Katherine said there were acorns at Alum Rock Park, so Andy said he'll drive there and "Feel free to come. Or I'll just go by myself. That's cool. I won't be sad or anything." AW. I didn't want him to go pick acorns for the whole class by himself, but I didn't know him to go with him. I waited for someone to reply but only Haruka commented, to say thanks and to remember to get them acorns LOL I was freakin' out before I posted because I though it'd be weird since we don't "know" each other? but I finally commented, after Haruka, that I'll come along, so I met him at the art quad. (He didn't let me know he parked, so he ended up waiting for me at the quad ^^; )
On the way to the quad, he messaged me to let me know he was there and said "Looks like it'll just be us two hopefully that's ok?" and I was like awww so nice! That was so polite of him to make sure it was okay for me for us two to be alone. Because we literally "don't know" each other. He tried to make a joke during the message, but I didn't get it because I didn't know the guy he said and he was like "Don't worry about it/ that was a super dumb joke." I sent a blushing Pusheen sticker and said "Sorry LOL" and he said "It's ok/ It wasn't witty/ Or even smart/ I just say things" and I was like ALKSDJF as I was walking to him.
He got up to greet me and was like "Justina?" Like, uh, yah? LOL I just nodded and we shook hands. Me in my head, why so formal LOL he said "I don't think we really met" when we shook hands and I said, "mhm, just in the same classes." And he just started talking as we walked to the parking garage. Uh, I realized he walks fast LOLOL I thought it'd be awkward, but the walk there was okay because he talked a lot lol I guess the only awkward thing was I would try to say something, but it'd accidentally cut him off LOL We got to the garage, walked up the stairs. To the 5th floor. WHY WE NO TAKE THE ELEVATOR. But anyway, as we walked up the stairs, he said that after he posted it, it sounded creepy. He's "that" guy, who tells someone to hey, come sit in a car with a stranger to go some place. My response: "It's not like you're gonna kidnap me" (I think). And he said just saying it like that sounded creepy LOL and people saw the post but didn't respond and he was worried people might think that lol but I said, "Naw, I don't think people thought that." He said that Haruka replied so it kinda made up for it and that he was glad that I offered to go along. awww.
Andy has a really nice 2-door Scion. Short, but nice haha. So the "rules of his car," as he put it, is that the passenger has to navigate lol On the spiral drive out the garage, we were talking about how he doesn't look like an otaku LOL because he apologized for listening to his anime music, and I had to tell him I listen to it too. And he mentioned Vocaloid, which is how we got to how he didn't look like an otaku LOL When we were almost there, we were following behind motorcyclists, and he brought up how he loves motorcycles and stuff.
When we got to the park, it was literally trails? So we ended up hiking. It was about 3 hours with him hiking up the trail, so that's too much to cover. Just know, he talked a lot LOL his excuse was because he had milk tea and 3 coffees yesterday, and he slept late. (Oh, he was just getting out of his sickness). When he said he wanted milk tea afterward, I said he just had it yesterday and he said he can't enjoy yesterday's milk tea today lol and then he suddenly dropped the bomb that he and his girlfriend broke up. It was a long-winded correlation, but it was because he was saying he likes to live in the present, and the analogy was, when he and his girlfriend broke up his friends told him at least you have your memories with her and he said he doesn't want the "memories," but to be in the present (with her, I guess?)
It was a fun hike. At the beginning we just talked a lot about anime lol Like what kind of anime we watched etc. He was thirsty because he forgot water. He was like "there's running water! should I drink it?" LOL (On the drive I told him he should've told me to bring him water and he was like, "I can't just say hey stranger, bring me water. And I said I would've still did it, and he said "well, I didn't know you, but now I know." LOL) Luckily, we managed to find a water fountain on the way. We also picked up a large pinecone for him, which I carried. On the hike up he said, "I'm glad you can walk." Me: ?? lol and he mentioned how Gia and Celine would've been out of breath already ahaha. I told him we weren't dressed for hiking, nor did we have water LOL We ended up going to the top, climbed a large rock to get a better view of the sun setting. I climbed the rock after him, but I was wearing my sweater on the front of me, and it was really windy so the hood kept flying in my view. Plus it was difficult climbing with a pinecone. There wasn't much footing near the top, and I was too scared to continue, so I just crouched. We were still talking, and then we had eye contact, and I said "I'm scared" so he had to come over to help me up LOL He literally had to pull me up. Uhm, I don't think I trusted anyone else with my life except Tong LOL
We saw quail on the hike~ <3
Anyway, we went back to a tree we passed to look for acorns. Our first time passed it, we saw only caps. So on our way back down, we really looked hard for them. And we found a few, but most were babies. I found most of them LOL A lady asked us what we were looking for lol I let Andy do the talking. Anyway, he was looking out for me when I was climbing the lil' incline up to the tree, and I'd pass the acorns to him. The sun was setting and he said we should go before it gets to dark. So we finished gathering and started going down. On the way down we spotted a decaying bird wing with feathers attached. I think I kinda told him I want a feather? I forgot how lol but I told him I had notepad paper; I gave it to him so he plucked a feather and we put it in the pinecone/acorn bag. He went for another one; this one was attached to the wing bone still. So I had to help him snap the tip. I tried to step on the bone but missed lol it was on a decline. I had to support my weight by holding on to his shoulder, and I stepped down on the wing bone and he pulled the feather off. Afterward I gave him hand sanitizer because he touched the wing LOL We finally got down, and he drove us to Sweet Corner. He asked me where I wanted to go but I said he could choose. We took the wrong freeway LOL aigoo, I always panic and give wrong directions lol but we got back on track. At one point, I said "how are you driving 40-45mph but it feels so fast? xD" and he goes into explaining his car and speed and race cars lol. He said acceleration on turns feel faster than acceleration going straight; it was true. Sheesh, his turns were really sharp, even though they really weren't. Sharp as in, I had to resist the force? I don't know how to explain lol but it was fun; his car was manual.
On the way there, he was saying he was getting sleepy, and that the mountain was really tiring. I said something along the lines of "crashing from the caffeine" lol At Sweet Corner, there were cakes~ but I thought we were going to grab our drinks and go. Nope. He said "let's unwind for a bit." So we just sat there for a while. He finished his Thai Tea really fast and I said that, and he said "I'm thirsty AF" LOL He looked at his watch and said "we should at 7, or whenever you want." And when I asked him why me, he said it's because he chose the place, so I should choose when to leave. OY, decisions decisions. Since I didn't want him to get home too late, I just said "let's go" after a minute or two. And then he dropped me off at home, and I took home the pinecone and acorns. (AH! I forgot to tell him to drive safe...)
His heater was... really good. Like, it was so hot. Because he was recovering from his sickness, he was still cold after the hike (it was really windy on that rock) and I guess I just warm up faster than he does? And he turned on his heater. There was a fan blowing right in my face and it was so hot. I got home with a red face I think. It's a really good heater because it was only on 1, and on the lowest heat setting but it was still so freakin' hot LOL His car is still cool :p
I think he waited a bit for me to get to the stairs before leaving. Or not. Lol I didn't turn back.
Genai had commented an hour later, like she would've joined if she saw the post, but I enjoyed our time alone lol because we got to know each other a lot. I wonder if we'll go back to being awkward classmates... lol
~~
Also, I got home and got a notification from Lee. He "waved" to me on Messenger. So I waved back. I thought it may have been an accident that he waved so I said "?? lol" and then he was like "how you been?"
Me in my head: ??
But I answer casually. And when I said "hbu?" he said he got back from a "being in a drama." Note that I'm still hyper from hiking with Andy so my brain is overthinking so many scenarios right. Like, I know Lee wouldn't message me after so long unless something's up, and I really hoped it didn't have anything to do with his girlfriend. The fact that he mentioned 'drama' felt like he wanted to talk about it so I asked "should i ask bout this drama?" and he said "you should/ lol/ but it's up to you." So, I let him vent. (At first he asked if I was still in SJ. I hope that wasn't a precursor for "meeting up" if I was in Stockton kind of thing :p ) So then he dropped the bomb: "My girlfriend just broke up with me lol" (By the way, it was a stupid reason she decided to break up with him) It's a delicate subject right? I mean, I don't know. It's only delicate depending on the person, so I was really cautious that I wasn't helping him make decisions. I just asked the questions. After a few other messages I asked, "And how are you feeling?" He said "Idk/ I'm supposed to be heartbroken but somehow I feel happy" so like, hey, if you feelin' good, then the break up is no big deal LOL and that's what I told him after I asked if he wanted to get back with her. He said "Definitely/ No/ Lol" I said "Ahh, in that case, is no big deal?" followed up by "Dude, i feel bad, like I'm telling you not to get with her/ But like, whether you want to really depends on you" and he flat out said "I don't want to"
Me in my head: then why are you messaging me...??? Like, I thought he wanted to vent because he was sad or something. And he was super positive afterward... LOL weird...
Also, because I haven't talked to him in so long, I found that his many uses of "lol" were odd because I still remember him as a person who doesn't really use lols or stickers/emojis. Usually I'm the one who spams stickers, but he ended our convo with a (:p) sticker and a thumbs up. Like... is this the Lee I know? hahaha Anyway, I just find it really weird that the unexpected messages from Lee tend to be timed around when I finish hanging out/messaging with a guy LOL (alone sometimes at that o.o) Like, if you read previous posts where he's involved, it's either I just messaged Robin/Deilys/Victor or I just came back from hanging with them or something LOL
Weird...
Ah the post ended up being super long because so many things happened > < I tried to eliminate stuff, but, haha, no can do when I want to write it all. Andy messaged me after he got home, I guess, and after talking about the acorns, I asked if he washed his hands. He said "Uhhh/ If we're thinking fourth dimensionally/ I already did when I get* home" LOL I have no idea what he meant but I just said "LOL ok good/ Now go get some rest :p dont get sick again" (nagging him already LOL) and he tried to joke around again but it flew over my head. Again LOL Then I showed him my taped feather later that said "Erm, dont really need to clean it right? ^^; " and he replied "LOL/ Bruh that dirty A F" LOLOL he so fun to talk toooo, I really wish we could stay, y'know, friends.
Lol, anyway, I should really sleep. Darn my eventful day LOL
Steph napped liked around 12:30am... I should wake her to shower after I wash up.
*his actual typo :p
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^
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: afeeqah azhar, 19 march, malaysian .
: hidenobu suzuki, + follow