 konnichiwa~
Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/
find me:
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What's up?
written on Wednesday, May 27, 2020 @ 12:14 AM ✈
I am so. Tired.
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Friday, May 22, 2020 - I graduate with a BFA from SJSU!
Saturday, May 23, 2020 - Robin & I pack up my stuff from my apartment.
Sunday, May 24, 2020 - I move out! I'm back home in Stockton~
Monday, May 25, 2020 - I wake up sore (from moving my stuff LOL) I attempt to clean after I wake up, but I only managed to "prep" cleaning, aka move all the stuff I need to organize into the room & clean what I can in the living room.
Tuesday, May 26, 2020 - I slept at like 4am last night LOL Woke up early enough to cook fried rice, then spent the rest of the day cleaning in the room. Didn't even know how to go about it. At 4:30-6pm, I had a work meeting. After that, I had dinner. After dinner, I'm back at it. Tired. Sleepy. Quite annoyed because everyone is just telling me to "throw away" everything. But why would I do that? 1) that's a waste; 2) more than half of the stuff I own is $$$ "Throw everything away" isn't viable. But I am at fault for my mood. It is most likely because they hit the nail on the head: why do I have so much crap. And it was annoying because people be repeating that to me like I don't know. I know, and? I already own the stuff, what more can I do? I already don't buy as much stuff and trying not to. But since I already own the stuff, I'm like "attached" in a way.
It's kind of like the Marie Kondo way of cleaning: the point of decluttering isn't to just throw everything away; it is to throw away things that "do not spark joy" - to throw away things that do spark joy is the complete opposite of the purpose of decluttering.
On top of that, my dad has been... bothersome as usual. And constantly triggering me. It's so hard to NOT get angry.
Anyway, thinking about all the stuff I own, I know I'd feel better had I not owned them in the first place. However, I am not ready to just completely throw everything out. If stuff could be recycled or donated/sold/re-purposed, I would gladly do so. The idea of perfectly good-conditioned items to be thrown in the trash to fill the garbage dumps does not sit well. And people don't understand why I feel this way, and I get heated.
Currently there is space in the room to walk; when everything was taken out of the bags and boxes in the room earlier, there was barely any floor space to walk through. I was in the zone decluttering after dinner. I don't even know what took up so much space, and where they went now. I've gone through everything that I brought back home from my apartment. There are still some stuff I need to go through from when I moved everything back from my 3-year apartment (biggest move, needed 2 cars) While I do prefer to sell stuff to get some money back lol at some point in life, as I grow older, I would probably donate them just to get rid of them. I imagine my future room to be less cluttered (save for some toys?) and more neutral-toned.
I am trying to finish decluttering within the week (consisting of going through what I brought home -70% done- just need to find some place to store them; whatever else I own in the back room; organizing/cleaning the house etc) so I can finally settle down to find a job and do some more production (art, dance, youtube, etc). I just want to focus on cleaning.
Anywho, time to sleep. I got bites from sitting/sleeping on the floor?
It's only been 2 days since I've been home... but it feels like so much longer ughhh
Also, it's been 90+ degrees...
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What's up?
written on Wednesday, May 27, 2020 @ 12:14 AM ✈
I am so. Tired.
--
Friday, May 22, 2020 - I graduate with a BFA from SJSU!
Saturday, May 23, 2020 - Robin & I pack up my stuff from my apartment.
Sunday, May 24, 2020 - I move out! I'm back home in Stockton~
Monday, May 25, 2020 - I wake up sore (from moving my stuff LOL) I attempt to clean after I wake up, but I only managed to "prep" cleaning, aka move all the stuff I need to organize into the room & clean what I can in the living room.
Tuesday, May 26, 2020 - I slept at like 4am last night LOL Woke up early enough to cook fried rice, then spent the rest of the day cleaning in the room. Didn't even know how to go about it. At 4:30-6pm, I had a work meeting. After that, I had dinner. After dinner, I'm back at it. Tired. Sleepy. Quite annoyed because everyone is just telling me to "throw away" everything. But why would I do that? 1) that's a waste; 2) more than half of the stuff I own is $$$ "Throw everything away" isn't viable. But I am at fault for my mood. It is most likely because they hit the nail on the head: why do I have so much crap. And it was annoying because people be repeating that to me like I don't know. I know, and? I already own the stuff, what more can I do? I already don't buy as much stuff and trying not to. But since I already own the stuff, I'm like "attached" in a way.
It's kind of like the Marie Kondo way of cleaning: the point of decluttering isn't to just throw everything away; it is to throw away things that "do not spark joy" - to throw away things that do spark joy is the complete opposite of the purpose of decluttering.
On top of that, my dad has been... bothersome as usual. And constantly triggering me. It's so hard to NOT get angry.
Anyway, thinking about all the stuff I own, I know I'd feel better had I not owned them in the first place. However, I am not ready to just completely throw everything out. If stuff could be recycled or donated/sold/re-purposed, I would gladly do so. The idea of perfectly good-conditioned items to be thrown in the trash to fill the garbage dumps does not sit well. And people don't understand why I feel this way, and I get heated.
Currently there is space in the room to walk; when everything was taken out of the bags and boxes in the room earlier, there was barely any floor space to walk through. I was in the zone decluttering after dinner. I don't even know what took up so much space, and where they went now. I've gone through everything that I brought back home from my apartment. There are still some stuff I need to go through from when I moved everything back from my 3-year apartment (biggest move, needed 2 cars) While I do prefer to sell stuff to get some money back lol at some point in life, as I grow older, I would probably donate them just to get rid of them. I imagine my future room to be less cluttered (save for some toys?) and more neutral-toned.
I am trying to finish decluttering within the week (consisting of going through what I brought home -70% done- just need to find some place to store them; whatever else I own in the back room; organizing/cleaning the house etc) so I can finally settle down to find a job and do some more production (art, dance, youtube, etc). I just want to focus on cleaning.
Anywho, time to sleep. I got bites from sitting/sleeping on the floor?
It's only been 2 days since I've been home... but it feels like so much longer ughhh
Also, it's been 90+ degrees...
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^
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: afeeqah azhar, 19 march, malaysian .
: hidenobu suzuki, + follow