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konnichiwa~

Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/

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Home stretch!
written on Monday, May 18, 2020 @ 12:24 PM ✈

We had our final BFA meeting this morning!

It doesn't really feel any different, knowing that I'm graduating in a couple of days... I'm really excited to finish our film though! I feel like... the only thing that's changing is that I am more open to being creative and sharing. If you know me, you know I am very reluctant to share my art online because of, well, fear. There's just so many great artists out there. Also, because most people who follow me on my art IG are from school. They know me. It's embarrassing.

But I'm starting to realize that almost everyone who posts have that fear; that they're not good enough, no one will like it, it's not worth posting. Yet, someone somewhere out there, will enjoy what you make! And if you don't start now, when? So just do it. What's the worst that can happen from posting? I've had nothing but positive comments since I've started to actively post on social media.

So yes, I've been having bursts of creative ideas, usually when I'm about to sleep LOL but also having the urge to want to do something. To want to draw. To want to animate. I want to say, the pressure of school, and to do good, is lifted so I am not... afraid anymore. There's nothing stopping me :)

I want to just purse my "goals" (kind of embarrassing to say, haha)
But pursuing that, also includes my career... and as you all know, my industry is centered in SoCal... which means, if I get a job, I'd have to move there. 
I was stressing last night. I told my mom that I'd be coming back to SJ some time in July to move in with Robin. At the end of our call, she sounded kind of mad. Well, she low-key doesn't want me to move in with him probably, for one. And another is, I have to find a job. And my family KNOWS my job ain't up here. I'm sort of a people-pleaser. Sometimes. Decisions are difficult to make. It'd be easier if I didn't have to take into account others' feelings...

I cried last night. Because I was so stressed and frustrated.
But even if Robin doesn't want to me live in SoCal, he also knows that I can't just throw away my career without even trying. He tried to reassure me that even if I ended up moving in with him and have to leave, he can handle the rent...
It does take the financial burden off, but there's still the emotional burden...
I want to believe LDR would work...

Side note, my mom was like: well, even if you don't have a job, you can just live at home.
LOL okay mom xD

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