 konnichiwa~
Hello there & welcome to my blog. Here you'll read tidbits about my daily life, some random thoughts, & maybe a rant here and there. I'm sure you'll learn something about me, if you don't know me of course. Down below are links to find me (personal accounts not posted). I hope you enjoyed your stay while listening to the songs I'm recently listening to. Come back & read again~ ^w^/
find me:
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070418
written on Thursday, July 5, 2018 @ 10:54 PM ✈
I don't even know where to start ^^;
I didn't really think anything was going to happen this weekend that I was coming home. (Since I got back to SJ, I was just getting myself back in to work mode, and trying to wrap my head over what happened the last couple of days).
Only Minar knows at this point. And my sisters lol
Uwah. I still have to finish the U10 concert recap. Why am I so lazyyyy lol I'm lazy to finish this too xD
Well let's see.
Tuesday, 07/03 I planned to go watch "Fireworks" in theaters. Original plan was at Eastridge, but plans changed when I decided to go home with Jim and them. (Oh, speaking of that, the Sunday after the concert, all 4 of us went to Round 1 and spent $$$ x'D It was fun though, not like we're gonna all go again. They had fun at the crane games. Spent a lot there, but we got a lot of toys. I got Jobee the Sumikko Gurashi tempura sushi in 1 try because the guy placed it really nicely & gave me a tip & I executed it nicely lol) None of the toys were mine though LOL
Anyway, so we were still talking & at some point the topic of movies came up & somehow ended up going together (originally was going to go alone if Jobee didn't want to come .-.) I was kinda nervous to be honest since I haven't seen him in so long. Before going, Jo and I went on an errand run for some food/treats for the pettos. Afterward, she wanted to go to Hobby Lobby, so we stopped by T4 and she grabbed a drink while I waited in the car. Jo told me she saw Arianne and Louegie and Arianne told her to tell me to text her. So I did, when we were at Hobby Lobby, and she came over to meet us. We chatted for a bit too, but then I had to go 'cause I was going to be late LOL We ended up just talking about Victor and stuff .-.
Anywayyy, so I ended up barely making it on time. I was joking with Jo that we'll get home and see him parking ahahaha. That's what happened .-. I left pretty much as soon as I got home. He gave me a friendly side-hug. I didn't think much then, but those side-hugs, I save for friends lol He usually doesn't give me that hug, so naturally, there goes my thought lol He paid for the tickets so I paid for food after the movies (we just ate In-n-Out LOL Boi was still hungry but didn't want to go eat anything more) This whole 'day out' gave me a deja-vu feeling from the last time I went to the movies with him ahahaha meaning, he was being him from high school again lol He chose such close seats, so we had to look up a bit lol Side note of a movie review, the movie was so confusing LOL and the end still didn't answer anything. Rating: 4/10. The quality of the animation kept distracting me as well.
Oh, and we were accidentally matching stripes LOL he wore a striped shirt & I wore a romper with striped shorts.
After In-n-Out, we went to visit Louegie and Rayven at PokeSalad. I don't know why lol Louegie gave me such a soft wave; he's so squishy. (Ah, he also saw me drive by in the afternoon since Arianne was dropping him off to work. So now he knows who I met with afterward LOL) Rayven also gave me such a nice greeting haha. I was kinda glad Victor wasn't closing because it probably would've been a lil' awkward... But we waited until they finished closing, and after saying bye to them, we went to a park LOL but the park by Winco ended up having people there so we didn't go out. Oh and starting from after the movie, he kept opening the car door for me lolol feels... weird... ^^;
We were in his car for about an hour maybe? And we just talked about a lot of stuff. Really, it was just him talking LOL Meanwhile, I was contemplating about how and whether to tell him. And then midway talking he said "I just told you my whole life. Tell me stuff" lol but I didn't have anything to tell him. Slowly, I started to get it out of my system. Though it was in between more of his stories LOL It was really late, 11:30pm, past his bedtime lol so he was really sleepy. [We talked a lot so a lot of stuff I didn't include here lol] I was literally dying. The worst confession ever LOL I just wanted to run away but there's nowhere to run away to. ALL I WANTED WAS A TEDDY BEAR BECAUSE I WAS SO NERVOUS. So I finally got to the part where I regretted what I said 2 years ago and he said "Don't regret it. It's not like I was heartbroken or anything. We're still friends" (he said this in a not-so-serious way). So at this point I was ready to give up lol. Before this he asked if I had any guys (like within the 2 years) or if I had a crush on anyone. Technically, no lol And then I asked him and he was like "I'm not gonna lie, there were a few girls" and he was saying something more but said he wouldn't tell me because I'm too innocent. Sorta can guess what he was talking about, but also, not sure? lol
So then he takes me home, but we stay in his car again for another hour. He brings it up again & asks me what I wanna do about it, and I'm still panicking and I say I don't know. In the end, he asked again LOL
~
Him: No?
Me: No~
Him: No? It's a no again?? *whines* Why you do dissss
Me: -laughs exasperatedly- Nooo~ it's not a no~
Him: So it's a yes?
Me: -mumbles- Mm. It's a yes before I run away.
~
And this whole time I couldn't even face him lol He kept asking for a kiss but I couldn't do it ALSKDJF I still wanna scream right now lol .^.
We hugged after, which I thought was goodbye hug? But I guess not? lolol I might've tried to give him a peck on the cheek, but he felt that I was? so he turned his head and that took me by surprise. So when I did give him a kiss, I was so embarrassed I could die. We were still in the hug so I just buried my face in his shoulder LOL and he chuckled at me alsdkjflkadjsf
And then he said "You're so innocent. What am I gonna do with you?"
He knows that was my first kiss >x< [I am dying writing this & then A Pink's "I Like That Kiss" is playing. WHY IS ITUNES LIKE THIS ALSKDFJ]
*sighs* Anyway, it was almost 1am and I probably said "I need to go" like 3 times but yet, there I was lol And he said, "Mm, it's not like I'm stopping you." And true. LOL I probably didn't want to go x'D please save me.
(When I told Jim I ended up saying yes she gave me the OoO look and...
Jim: You did!?
Me: -nods-
Jim: whyyyy he's weirdddd
Me: because you said YOLO!
Jim: I didn't know you were gonna SEE him!
Me: x'D
but she approves that he doesn't smoke or vape lol)
--
[I'll try to finish this up fast lol]
For July 4th, he said he'd come after "work" but it was getting really late and I figured he's gonna be too tired to come over. It was almost 11pm when he messaged me that he couldn't come over. Then he made plans to wake up at 5AM to see the sunrise. I wasn't even sure if I could wake up that early LOL I sorta asked my mom if I could. She said I was crazy pft but she didn't say no.
SO. I ended up waking up before my alarm this morning (because I was sleeping in the crack of the bed & for some reason it was getting really hot. There was room on the bed for Jim, Jo, and the BLANKET. but not me LOL) I jumped when my alarm rang because it was so freakin' loud xD And then I was just scrolling through Twitter/FB when he messaged me if I was awake. And then finally I got up to change lol Sneaking around is so hard LOL Later he tells me, he didn't want to wake up so he was low-key hoping I wasn't awake lol The moment I left the house, my mom woke up and I was like omg I need to go xD And when I opened the door it CREAKED. SO. LOUD. I was abouta faint. (I tried to show Jim how loud the door creaked but it was SILENT) I got out the gate and I heard the door open LOL My mom knew I went out xD My goodness, it wasn't like I was really sneaking out, dang x'D
We were going to light some sparklers so we went to buy a lighter (which is now sitting in my room & I have no idea what to do with it) and was going to find some place to light it but ended up back at the house LOL we lit 'em outside and when we finished he was like "okay, our July 4th is done" or something along those lines haha Afterward, we went to find a place to watch the sunrise. I kept thinking mountains LOL but we were driving downtown and I was just thinking I haven't been on the roof of the parking garage... ahhh. xD So we went to the parking garage and waited for the sun to rise. Feel free to not read the rest LOL might be too mushy x'D
We just hugged, me facing the sun, & he was facing the garage. Kissed a few times but I was still not used to it >//x\\< If he touched somewhere I wasn't comfortable with I just hit him & he'd stop lol We were probably there for an hour and a half. He even talked about the future LOL he said, "it might be too far ahead for you but..." -proceeds to talk about how many kids he wants and how he's not gonna spoil them lol-
I can tell he was really tired. And the way we were standing & him leaning on the wall, his back must've hurt lol his legs ended up getting numb too xD He gave me so many pecks I didn't know what to do >///<
At some point I happened to turn around and a security car is driving toward us. I get scared because first of all, this is embarrassing, second, I thought we were going to get in trouble for being on the rooftop. So I just looked away and I guess the car just kept driving, and I don't know if he's lying but he said "that guy just gave me a thumbs up, and I gave him a thumbs up back." And then apparently the security drove by again, and thumbs-up again. Also, he found out my ears are ticklish.
He also mentioned that he was really waiting, that he wasn't really into anyone else. But who knows? That might be sweet talk. A lot of times, I don't know if he's serious or trying to be cool ^^;
After a while, we left the garage. And he wanted to give me a piggyback ride but we were both tired and he couldn't make it to the next level haha and then he just drops me xD Again, he opens the door for me. He drops me off home and Reno is looking at me like "who are you" ALSDKFJ
I didn't have the key to get in so I had to sneak back in from the back. I thought of staying up, but I wasn't leaving 'til afternoon, so I went back to sleep.
Ah, at this point, I feel like I will be a bad girl > <
My mom told me she thought my aunt came in the morning but saw me leave. She didn't know who I went with, but she guessed who it was LOL
--
He's being pushy with, uh, "stuff" & apologized for being pushy but I'm sure he's gonna be dwelling on that again. Ah, I don't know what to do with him.
He's worried about the long distance too, but what can we do~
Also, we're probably in that stage where you know, everything is kinda new and we're all clingy and whatnot ^^; Aish, this is not good for my kokoro at all. After being official, there are some things I'm more comfortable sending (like cutesy, lovey stickers) and doing, like holding hands and hugging. Ah, & he's so cheesyyyy ALKSDFJ
But the bad thing is, now I miss him easily x'D please send halp.
I'll end this here. Before I die some more lol
My sisters are gonna kill me ^^;
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070418
written on Thursday, July 5, 2018 @ 10:54 PM ✈
I don't even know where to start ^^;
I didn't really think anything was going to happen this weekend that I was coming home. (Since I got back to SJ, I was just getting myself back in to work mode, and trying to wrap my head over what happened the last couple of days).
Only Minar knows at this point. And my sisters lol
Uwah. I still have to finish the U10 concert recap. Why am I so lazyyyy lol I'm lazy to finish this too xD
Well let's see.
Tuesday, 07/03 I planned to go watch "Fireworks" in theaters. Original plan was at Eastridge, but plans changed when I decided to go home with Jim and them. (Oh, speaking of that, the Sunday after the concert, all 4 of us went to Round 1 and spent $$$ x'D It was fun though, not like we're gonna all go again. They had fun at the crane games. Spent a lot there, but we got a lot of toys. I got Jobee the Sumikko Gurashi tempura sushi in 1 try because the guy placed it really nicely & gave me a tip & I executed it nicely lol) None of the toys were mine though LOL
Anyway, so we were still talking & at some point the topic of movies came up & somehow ended up going together (originally was going to go alone if Jobee didn't want to come .-.) I was kinda nervous to be honest since I haven't seen him in so long. Before going, Jo and I went on an errand run for some food/treats for the pettos. Afterward, she wanted to go to Hobby Lobby, so we stopped by T4 and she grabbed a drink while I waited in the car. Jo told me she saw Arianne and Louegie and Arianne told her to tell me to text her. So I did, when we were at Hobby Lobby, and she came over to meet us. We chatted for a bit too, but then I had to go 'cause I was going to be late LOL We ended up just talking about Victor and stuff .-.
Anywayyy, so I ended up barely making it on time. I was joking with Jo that we'll get home and see him parking ahahaha. That's what happened .-. I left pretty much as soon as I got home. He gave me a friendly side-hug. I didn't think much then, but those side-hugs, I save for friends lol He usually doesn't give me that hug, so naturally, there goes my thought lol He paid for the tickets so I paid for food after the movies (we just ate In-n-Out LOL Boi was still hungry but didn't want to go eat anything more) This whole 'day out' gave me a deja-vu feeling from the last time I went to the movies with him ahahaha meaning, he was being him from high school again lol He chose such close seats, so we had to look up a bit lol Side note of a movie review, the movie was so confusing LOL and the end still didn't answer anything. Rating: 4/10. The quality of the animation kept distracting me as well.
Oh, and we were accidentally matching stripes LOL he wore a striped shirt & I wore a romper with striped shorts.
After In-n-Out, we went to visit Louegie and Rayven at PokeSalad. I don't know why lol Louegie gave me such a soft wave; he's so squishy. (Ah, he also saw me drive by in the afternoon since Arianne was dropping him off to work. So now he knows who I met with afterward LOL) Rayven also gave me such a nice greeting haha. I was kinda glad Victor wasn't closing because it probably would've been a lil' awkward... But we waited until they finished closing, and after saying bye to them, we went to a park LOL but the park by Winco ended up having people there so we didn't go out. Oh and starting from after the movie, he kept opening the car door for me lolol feels... weird... ^^;
We were in his car for about an hour maybe? And we just talked about a lot of stuff. Really, it was just him talking LOL Meanwhile, I was contemplating about how and whether to tell him. And then midway talking he said "I just told you my whole life. Tell me stuff" lol but I didn't have anything to tell him. Slowly, I started to get it out of my system. Though it was in between more of his stories LOL It was really late, 11:30pm, past his bedtime lol so he was really sleepy. [We talked a lot so a lot of stuff I didn't include here lol] I was literally dying. The worst confession ever LOL I just wanted to run away but there's nowhere to run away to. ALL I WANTED WAS A TEDDY BEAR BECAUSE I WAS SO NERVOUS. So I finally got to the part where I regretted what I said 2 years ago and he said "Don't regret it. It's not like I was heartbroken or anything. We're still friends" (he said this in a not-so-serious way). So at this point I was ready to give up lol. Before this he asked if I had any guys (like within the 2 years) or if I had a crush on anyone. Technically, no lol And then I asked him and he was like "I'm not gonna lie, there were a few girls" and he was saying something more but said he wouldn't tell me because I'm too innocent. Sorta can guess what he was talking about, but also, not sure? lol
So then he takes me home, but we stay in his car again for another hour. He brings it up again & asks me what I wanna do about it, and I'm still panicking and I say I don't know. In the end, he asked again LOL
~
Him: No?
Me: No~
Him: No? It's a no again?? *whines* Why you do dissss
Me: -laughs exasperatedly- Nooo~ it's not a no~
Him: So it's a yes?
Me: -mumbles- Mm. It's a yes before I run away.
~
And this whole time I couldn't even face him lol He kept asking for a kiss but I couldn't do it ALSKDJF I still wanna scream right now lol .^.
We hugged after, which I thought was goodbye hug? But I guess not? lolol I might've tried to give him a peck on the cheek, but he felt that I was? so he turned his head and that took me by surprise. So when I did give him a kiss, I was so embarrassed I could die. We were still in the hug so I just buried my face in his shoulder LOL and he chuckled at me alsdkjflkadjsf
And then he said "You're so innocent. What am I gonna do with you?"
He knows that was my first kiss >x< [I am dying writing this & then A Pink's "I Like That Kiss" is playing. WHY IS ITUNES LIKE THIS ALSKDFJ]
*sighs* Anyway, it was almost 1am and I probably said "I need to go" like 3 times but yet, there I was lol And he said, "Mm, it's not like I'm stopping you." And true. LOL I probably didn't want to go x'D please save me.
(When I told Jim I ended up saying yes she gave me the OoO look and...
Jim: You did!?
Me: -nods-
Jim: whyyyy he's weirdddd
Me: because you said YOLO!
Jim: I didn't know you were gonna SEE him!
Me: x'D
but she approves that he doesn't smoke or vape lol)
--
[I'll try to finish this up fast lol]
For July 4th, he said he'd come after "work" but it was getting really late and I figured he's gonna be too tired to come over. It was almost 11pm when he messaged me that he couldn't come over. Then he made plans to wake up at 5AM to see the sunrise. I wasn't even sure if I could wake up that early LOL I sorta asked my mom if I could. She said I was crazy pft but she didn't say no.
SO. I ended up waking up before my alarm this morning (because I was sleeping in the crack of the bed & for some reason it was getting really hot. There was room on the bed for Jim, Jo, and the BLANKET. but not me LOL) I jumped when my alarm rang because it was so freakin' loud xD And then I was just scrolling through Twitter/FB when he messaged me if I was awake. And then finally I got up to change lol Sneaking around is so hard LOL Later he tells me, he didn't want to wake up so he was low-key hoping I wasn't awake lol The moment I left the house, my mom woke up and I was like omg I need to go xD And when I opened the door it CREAKED. SO. LOUD. I was abouta faint. (I tried to show Jim how loud the door creaked but it was SILENT) I got out the gate and I heard the door open LOL My mom knew I went out xD My goodness, it wasn't like I was really sneaking out, dang x'D
We were going to light some sparklers so we went to buy a lighter (which is now sitting in my room & I have no idea what to do with it) and was going to find some place to light it but ended up back at the house LOL we lit 'em outside and when we finished he was like "okay, our July 4th is done" or something along those lines haha Afterward, we went to find a place to watch the sunrise. I kept thinking mountains LOL but we were driving downtown and I was just thinking I haven't been on the roof of the parking garage... ahhh. xD So we went to the parking garage and waited for the sun to rise. Feel free to not read the rest LOL might be too mushy x'D
We just hugged, me facing the sun, & he was facing the garage. Kissed a few times but I was still not used to it >//x\\< If he touched somewhere I wasn't comfortable with I just hit him & he'd stop lol We were probably there for an hour and a half. He even talked about the future LOL he said, "it might be too far ahead for you but..." -proceeds to talk about how many kids he wants and how he's not gonna spoil them lol-
I can tell he was really tired. And the way we were standing & him leaning on the wall, his back must've hurt lol his legs ended up getting numb too xD He gave me so many pecks I didn't know what to do >///<
At some point I happened to turn around and a security car is driving toward us. I get scared because first of all, this is embarrassing, second, I thought we were going to get in trouble for being on the rooftop. So I just looked away and I guess the car just kept driving, and I don't know if he's lying but he said "that guy just gave me a thumbs up, and I gave him a thumbs up back." And then apparently the security drove by again, and thumbs-up again. Also, he found out my ears are ticklish.
He also mentioned that he was really waiting, that he wasn't really into anyone else. But who knows? That might be sweet talk. A lot of times, I don't know if he's serious or trying to be cool ^^;
After a while, we left the garage. And he wanted to give me a piggyback ride but we were both tired and he couldn't make it to the next level haha and then he just drops me xD Again, he opens the door for me. He drops me off home and Reno is looking at me like "who are you" ALSDKFJ
I didn't have the key to get in so I had to sneak back in from the back. I thought of staying up, but I wasn't leaving 'til afternoon, so I went back to sleep.
Ah, at this point, I feel like I will be a bad girl > <
My mom told me she thought my aunt came in the morning but saw me leave. She didn't know who I went with, but she guessed who it was LOL
--
He's being pushy with, uh, "stuff" & apologized for being pushy but I'm sure he's gonna be dwelling on that again. Ah, I don't know what to do with him.
He's worried about the long distance too, but what can we do~
Also, we're probably in that stage where you know, everything is kinda new and we're all clingy and whatnot ^^; Aish, this is not good for my kokoro at all. After being official, there are some things I'm more comfortable sending (like cutesy, lovey stickers) and doing, like holding hands and hugging. Ah, & he's so cheesyyyy ALKSDFJ
But the bad thing is, now I miss him easily x'D please send halp.
I'll end this here. Before I die some more lol
My sisters are gonna kill me ^^;
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
whose life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
I kept the image on the left bc it was kawaii-ne~ & this above bc I really liked what the creator wrote ^^
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: afeeqah azhar, 19 march, malaysian .
: hidenobu suzuki, + follow